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Marraiges not with consent, acceptable?

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raj5000

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raj5000

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Posted: 16 July 2007 at 11:37pm | IP Logged

Smile Can't help opening a topic, since am on DM Embarrassed

Regarding : Couples get married without consent of thier family. Well people in love have half mind working Tongue atleast in most cases, but imagine dilema of family who in particular are not so happy with relationship, yet daughter/son go ahead and get married without family's consent.

Should such marraiges be acceptable by society and family?

God Forbid such marraige doesn't work out, girl/boy returns home, should he/she be accepted by the family?



Edited by raj5000 - 16 July 2007 at 11:41pm

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Morning_Dew

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Posted: 17 July 2007 at 6:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Smile Can't help opening a topic, since am on DM Embarrassed

Regarding : Couples get married without consent of thier family. Well people in love have half mind working Tongue atleast in most cases, but imagine dilema of family who in particular are not so happy with relationship, yet daughter/son go ahead and get married without family's consent.

Should such marraiges be acceptable by society and family?

God Forbid such marraige doesn't work out, girl/boy returns home, should he/she be accepted by the family?

it is difficult situation in our social set up  .. and vary for case by case ... for eg.. if teenagers decide something .. I would say they better listen to their parents .... however I see some families who try to impose their decisions over their children who are already over 25 ..in some cases 30LOL( remember two couples  they had to wait even after their 30s for marriage..LOL)

You are right about half mind working .. but I would say it may be true for teenagers or may be early twenties .. when some one is already matrue and taking ones own responsibility then family should respect his/her decision .. after all these days arrange marriage is not a garantee for successfull marriage either..Smile

mermaid_QT

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mermaid_QT

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Posted: 17 July 2007 at 10:51am | IP Logged
if the marriage did not work out, chances are one / both sides of the family kept on interfering.. so they better accept and LOVE their CHILD after messing up with his / her life.

Just as people elope and get married, those that are further harassed by folks can actually legally separate and LIVE IN Tongue ..
Nuke the silly witches that broke the marriage committment. So I say, go a step further and don't wait for family to accept. Go ahead and do what heart asks for. Dump the silly paper, but live for love.

qt

souro

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souro

Joined: 27 January 2007

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Posted: 17 July 2007 at 11:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Smile Can't help opening a topic, since am on DM Embarrassed

Regarding : Couples get married without consent of thier family. Well people in love have half mind working Tongue atleast in most cases, but imagine dilema of family who in particular are not so happy with relationship, yet daughter/son go ahead and get married without family's consent.

Should such marraiges be acceptable by society and family?

God Forbid such marraige doesn't work out, girl/boy returns home, should he/she be accepted by the family?

Why shouldn't the society accept such a marriage and who're they to tell whether such a marriage should be acceptable or not??Angry I'm not comfortable with couples getting married who have a huge economic and educational difference (as most of the times they fail), but other than that where's the problem in accepting them.

Well my parents had a 'Saathiya' like marriage.LOL They got married when they were about to complete college, stayed in their home for some time, and then eloped. Both my granddads, who were ok with the relation, died of cancer around that time and my grannies were totally against the marriage because my father is brahmin and mom is kshatriya. They never helped them in any way and hoped that my parents will finally give up but as soon as they saw that my parents are doing fine and are established they accepted them and my paternal grandmom and aunts started to create problem whenever they came to our home.Dead But I'm proud to say that even after they accepted them my parents never took a single penny from their families, they made everything on their own.Smile So, I'm all for going for such marriage but the couple should have that mentality to withstand all the rough times that will face them once they go out. And not accepting marriages because of caste or religious difference looks so cheap IMO.Dead

Gauri_3

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Posted: 17 July 2007 at 11:30am | IP Logged
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Morning_Dew

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Morning_Dew

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Posted: 17 July 2007 at 11:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by souro

Originally posted by raj5000

Smile Can't help opening a topic, since am on DM Embarrassed

Regarding : Couples get married without consent of thier family. Well people in love have half mind working Tongue atleast in most cases, but imagine dilema of family who in particular are not so happy with relationship, yet daughter/son go ahead and get married without family's consent.

Should such marraiges be acceptable by society and family?

God Forbid such marraige doesn't work out, girl/boy returns home, should he/she be accepted by the family?

Why shouldn't the society accept such a marriage and who're they to tell whether such a marriage should be acceptable or not??Angry I'm not comfortable with couples getting married who have a huge economic and educational difference (as most of the times they fail), but other than that where's the problem in accepting them.

Well my parents had a 'Saathiya' like marriage.LOL They got married when they were about to complete college, stayed in their home for some time, and then eloped. Both my granddads, who were ok with the relation, died of cancer around that time and my grannies were totally against the marriage because my father is brahmin and mom is kshatriya. They never helped them in any way and hoped that my parents will finally give up but as soon as they saw that my parents are doing fine and are established they accepted them and my paternal grandmom and aunts started to create problem whenever they came to our home.Dead But I'm proud to say that even after they accepted them my parents never took a single penny from their families, they made everything on their own.Smile So, I'm all for going for such marriage but the couple should have that mentality to withstand all the rough times that will face them once they go out. And not accepting marriages because of caste or religious difference looks so cheap IMO.Dead

Thanks for sharing Souro ..

yes this is the problem ..when parents doesnt' approve first they wish the marriage disolve itself and if it doesn't some of them try to make problem unfortunately sometimes they become successful Dead..

souro

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souro

Joined: 27 January 2007

Posts: 13894

Posted: 17 July 2007 at 11:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

Souro....loved your parents' shadi ki kahani.  must have taken lots of guts...hai na.  Glad to know that they made it in their own and ensured no one creates any misunderstandings between themSmile

The funny thing was that the society, especially the friends and their parents, accepted them better than their own parents.Big smile

And yes they had lots of  guts, they were only 21 when they eloped, literally lived in slum like condition (with leaking roof and all LOL) for two years, did odd jobs, before they got established.Smile

SolidSnake

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SolidSnake

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Posts: 6916

Posted: 17 July 2007 at 11:56am | IP Logged
Wow, Suoro..thanks for sharing that wonderful story!

I too believe in "Jab Miya Biwi Razi To Kya Karega Kazi"... Big smile

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