Karam Apnaa Apnaa

   

New Short FF: "Ajnabee" Part 5, pg.21

Post Reply New Post

Page 1 of 23

Page 1
Page   of 23
Page 2 Page 23

desi chic

IF-Sizzlerz

desi chic

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 11360

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:00am | IP Logged
Not long ago, I received a request to pen another ff along the lines of "Irony of Fate"... I hadn't realized that the short writing had left an imprint as such and was humbled and perplexed as to what to write. Over some time, I've come up with a little idea of sorts that I am thinking to experiment with... On Kat Di/Billo/CATWOMAN's special request... aapke liye... I hope I do not disappoint. And I will say that this will be at max, four or five parts. Below is a teaser, lemme know what you all think...
 
"Ajnabee"
 
Ajnabee ehsaas... apne... shehar... desh... duniya...  Socha jaaye toh zindagi ka har pehlu, iss ek shabd se shuru hota hai... Ab chaahe woh jeevan ho yaan maut... aur chahe ek din se doosre din ka safar...  Zindagi ki iss lehr mein hum najaane kitne naaye anubhav karte hain... logon se milte hain... kitne ankhoke rang mehsoos karte hain... Mushkilon se jhoojhte hain, jhulte hain... rote hain... aur rulaate hain. Aur kahin khushiyon ko apne daman mein bhar le te hain... sejh te hain... savarte hain... Kuch woh ajab rang bheegi khushbu ki tarah humesha mehkte hain... toh koi jaise path chadh mein panchi banke udaan bhar jaate hain.... Lekin har pannah, bharne se pehle... safed hota hai... Ajnabee...
 
Foreign[er]/Strange[er]... feeling... beloved... city... nation... universe... If we consider, each aspect of life starts with this word... Now this aspect could be life or death... or perhaps the journey from one day to another... In this continuation of existence, we take up so many new endeavours... meet people... feel the various shades of life... Encounter obstacles, counter them... weep... and make others do the same. And sometimes we embrace happiness... experience it... embark on maintaining it... Some of those strange colours leave a continual imprint as though an evergreen odour... while others take flight as the seasons change... In any case, prior to being inked on... each page remains blank/untouched.... Foreign[er]/Strange[er]...
 
****

As the metallic line continued its inevitable course round the steel plate, the broad skies reflected the different shades of colour... from the end of one day... to the beginning of another... Afterall, a new day was destined after the passing of the one left in the history pages...
 
Lifting her finely kohled eyes from her wristwatch, the woman tilted her eyes towards the open sky... It was passed two in the morning, and the rich texture of the vast space reflected the age of the day. Turning her attention back to the watch, her expressions suddenly changed from relatively blank, to fiery rage... Narrowing her gaze upon the object around her petite wrist, a moment passed as she continued to stare... A slight twitch in her jawbone became evident as she brought the other hand vehemently forward and pulled the ticking jewel off... plunging it somewhere into the strange night... What need had she for such things... She had no connection with anything... anyone... Ajnabee shehar... Ajnabee log... Ajnabee hasrat... She was but a mere... Ajnabee...
 
Cheers,
dc


Edited by desi chic - 16 October 2007 at 8:26pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

static_chaos23Howlarious

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "New Short FF: "Ajnabee" Part 5, pg.21" in Karam Apnaa Apnaa forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

sareeta

IF-Sizzlerz

sareeta

Joined: 14 August 2006

Posts: 11542

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:07am | IP Logged
I wish to give a feedback, but feel a strange disconnect... Do continue... will read the FF and PM my comments... if they matter...

desi chic

IF-Sizzlerz

desi chic

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 11360

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:14am | IP Logged

Originally posted by sareeta

I wish to give a feedback, but feel a strange disconnect... Do continue... will read the FF and PM my comments... if they matter...

Disconnect? With the writing or myself?... Di, I'm wordless... And matter? What is that supposed to mean? Joh cheezein anmol hoti hain, unka mol nahin lagaya jaata... I feel like such a cow right now... I'm extremely sorry for the hurt I've cause you... I...

dc

desi chic

IF-Sizzlerz

desi chic

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 11360

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:16am | IP Logged
Sareeta Di, I'm really uninspired at the moment... I feel really disappointed that I'm part of causing you to feel so bad...

Cheers,
dc

sareeta

IF-Sizzlerz

sareeta

Joined: 14 August 2006

Posts: 11542

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by desi chic

Originally posted by sareeta

I wish to give a feedback, but feel a strange disconnect... Do continue... will read the FF and PM my comments... if they matter...

Disconnect? with both reading and writing... With the writing or myself?... Di, I'm wordless... I dont know what to say either...And matter? What is that supposed to mean? It jus feels horrible and silly to be jus giving feedback , and waiting silly for someone to give back on mine as well. I am no angel ,and I jus dont feel people reciprocating it here...Joh cheezein anmol hoti hain, unka mol nahin lagaya jaata... Thank you for the lines, but I dont deserve them DC, please dont waste such lines on me.... I feel like such a cow right now... I'm extremely sorry for the hurt I've cause you... I...

I am not blaming you in particular, but as a writer, mujhe takleef hui , maine bayaan kardi...kyonki ye aaj ki baat nahin, kayi dino se chub rahi thi...

dc

sareeta

IF-Sizzlerz

sareeta

Joined: 14 August 2006

Posts: 11542

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:40am | IP Logged

Originally posted by desi chic

Sareeta Di, I'm really uninspired at the moment... I feel really disappointed that I'm part of causing you to feel so bad...

Cheers,
dc

Inspiration should come from within DC, not from one person. Mujhe yaa IF par takleef zaroor pahunchi hai, par meri likhai band nahin hui aur na hogi... bas yaahan IF par nahin hogi...

Maine hameshaa se tumhaari writing appreciate ki hai and I will read the FF.. aur Feedback PM kardoongi.. Do continue your FF

Bas mujhe yee uninspiration ka bhoj apne sar nahin lena, aur nahin apne dil pe rakhna...If I was ever considered an inspiration, it wa sa blessing, but never deserved...

desi chic

IF-Sizzlerz

desi chic

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 11360

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 12:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sareeta

Originally posted by desi chic

Originally posted by sareeta

I wish to give a feedback, but feel a strange disconnect... Do continue... will read the FF and PM my comments... if they matter...

Disconnect? with both reading and writing... disappointing to hear that come from one who shares such a bonding with words With the writing or myself?... Di, I'm wordless... I dont know what to say either... And matter? What is that supposed to mean? It jus feels horrible and silly to be jus giving feedback , and waiting silly for someone to give back on mine as well. I am no angel ,and I jus dont feel people reciprocating it here If you feel forced to do something, its never right. I can't speak for others, but you leave me speechless as well. ...Joh cheezein anmol hoti hain, unka mol nahin lagaya jaata... Thank you for the lines, but I dont deserve them DC, please dont waste such lines on me.... Funny how they came across as "lines" only... joh baat kehni thi, shayad lafz chote padh gaye... I can't write... I feel like such a cow right now... I'm extremely sorry for the hurt I've cause you... I...

I am not blaming you in particular, but as a writer, mujhe takleef hui , maine bayaan kardi...kyonki ye aaj ki baat nahin, kayi dino se chub rahi thi... I'm glad you let it out, kyun ki joh baat dil ko khatakti ho, usse bheh jaana chahiye. kya boloon main aapse jab main khud aapki gunegaar hoon, bas aapse maafi maang sakti hoon. aur main samajhti hoon ke aap ye sirf mere liye nahin keh rahi, lekin sach boloon toh dil pe ek bojh sa beth gaya hai... abhi kuch acha nahin lag raha... gussa bhi hai, aur sharmindagi bhi.

dc

dc

desi chic

IF-Sizzlerz

desi chic

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 11360

Posted: 09 July 2007 at 1:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sareeta

Originally posted by desi chic

Sareeta Di, I'm really uninspired at the moment... I feel really disappointed that I'm part of causing you to feel so bad...

Cheers,
dc

Inspiration should come from within DC, not from one person. Mujhe yaa IF par takleef zaroor pahunchi hai, par meri likhai band nahin hui aur na hogi... bas yaahan IF par nahin hogi... Sure does di... Comes from within, lekin jab dil pe aisa bojh ho, toh kuch acha nahin lagta. Aur inspiration toh kahin se, kissi se mil jaati hai... bas nazariya hona chahiye.

Maine hameshaa se tumhaari writing appreciate ki hai and I will read the FF.. aur Feedback PM kardoongi.. Do continue your FF Main jaanti hoon, lekin sach mein mann nahin kar raha abhi... Maine aaj bahut excitedly post kiya tah... but honestly feel like shit right now.

Bas mujhe yee uninspiration ka bhoj apne sar nahin lena, aur nahin apne dil pe rakhna...If I was ever considered an inspiration, it wa sa blessing, but never deserved... Deeper I dig into the guilt hole... sara mood gaya bhaad mein. its not you, its me... for being responsible for the current situation... and as for considering you an inspiration, that is a status I give to you on my own. perhaps you had not considered yourself worthy, but apparently I really do, sincerely.

dc

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Short FF...:: Love me tender ::...

2 3 4

chweetdesi 29 4073 06 August 2009 at 2:12am
By adi_gupta
Short Story: Destined (prt 3 - pg 4)

2 3 4 5 6

a.i.c 40 3476 11 May 2009 at 10:57pm
By desi chic
Short FF- Ankahee updated part 4 page 1

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

crystalclear 65 4464 30 March 2009 at 12:33am
By serendipity.
FF: Do Ajnabee updated p17pg31 check!

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 31 32

lil_isha15 251 20929 06 July 2007 at 7:19am
By akaur
Do Ajnabee- FanFic- Intro Misfit_ 6 461 05 April 2007 at 6:01am
By pritig

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.