Hi ji,
This is my very first topic here ji, and a first topic at India Forums after a long year. I was just going through some of my stuff, and I came across this. I know it is long ji, but I do hope I get to read your thoughts on this. Forgive me for the length ji, but I guess as a woman I took this topic a bit personally....
This is more like a discussion than a debate ji. In today's world more emphasis is made on how a person looks rather than inner beauty that seems very lost.To have a more 'plastic beautified' world there are many technological advancements. One such advancement is found in hosiptals ji. Nowadayz, along with finding out what gender a child is, abnormalities can be detected at an 'abortional' stage in pregnency. It is said to take the step as a parent to abort the child is hard, but many do take that step when they find out that the child has down syndrome, or another disability. But, is that a necessary step to take ji? To kill a life in an excuse of doing that child a 'favor' by not letting it come to the world and letting him/her suffer the pain others are capable of inflicting.
There are parents before who have raised kids with a certain disability with love and affection, and have tried to give a good upbringing. Even though that child has most likely suffered pains given by people outside, the child had his/her own family to turn to for affection. In such cases of disability, love is what makes these children bloom. So why are people taking a step as abortion for cases with an abnormal feteus? Is it that because people are too engulfed in beauty and the fact that are alwayz trying to fit in, that they think these children are a burden? This child should be killed because it will be saved from this harsh world. Are the parents too afraid of what this society might think of them, or are they really trying to do something good for that unborn? Some argue that it would take a toll on their married life, then is their marriage artifical like the beauty that's fought for? Some say that life is too harsh for a 'retarded' child, and that if given the chance they should avoid this ji. It might be that life is too hard on the people around this child that they want to take this option. If something like this does happen to a couple, it might be just there to test what kind of relationship they have, and to see if they have that love they tell others they do have.
It's you and I who can make this world very hard to live in ji. People give way too much importance as to how one looks, and being 'normal' with looks gets you a lot in this artifical world. We tend to set these fashion trends that is a must to follow, and people who stand out are somebody who needs to be not socialized with ji. Nowadayz, the first impression IS the last impression. There are kids who have down syndrome, and I'm pretty sure most people have seen this in their lives. But before giving out 'The Judgement' of how that child should be treated, wouldn't it be better to first get to know that child? If people can give 'normal' people that chance of interaction, then why can't this person be given a chance ji?
A child who has medical disabilities is treated sometimes with a lot of pity, and sometimes very horribly. But why do we tend to only express only those kind of emotions? As a child we all at one point watch those cartoons where everyone is shown equal ji, but the minute the many of us grow up and are spattered into the world we forget all that and start showing differination amongst children. I'm not saying all do that, but sadly there is a large number of people who tend to. People let themselves get carried away with this artificial beauty that they start doing anything which will give them the satisfaction of feeling that beauty. Peer pressure is bad, but come on, you've been given a brain to think from ji. Why should the 'give respect take respect' be different for people that are not 'normal'? Aur waise bhi, if someone is rude to the child, then it just shows what kind of up bringing that person has allowed on themselves.
My simple question is, do you think it is right to abort an abnormal feteus? Ji, if it is a 'deadly abnormality' then this thought should be considered, but what if it isn't 'deadly'? Just think if someone very close to you had some abnormailty, and with the possiblity of abortion there is now in this matter, would you still justify saying that the feteus should be aborted?
Take care,
Simran
Again, sorry for the length ji....
Edited by ~*simran*~ - 16 years agoFirst up all let me tell you that I am against abortion but in certain situations may be there is a need to do that. As you have mentioned that there are certain defects not necessarily related to brain but there are so many congenital defects of which children are born. I agree that parents love their child very much and give the child the utmost care and love required, in most cases. Not all parents are similar mind you.. and that is a fact..
But for those parents who care and love their child with a certain congential defects, the world outside is absolutely cruel. Such children never realised their shortcomings when small and growing up but when the peers and people around start looking and taunt the child/teenager/adult, the child doesnt understand what hit him/her.. cos up till then there never was anything pointed to the child in that regard within the family and though there might be some things within the child which are not normal, for the child it is normal cos it never enter the child's thinking that whatever he carries is abnormal.(kinda hard to explain, hope you guys understood, what I am trying to say)
As the child grows s/he is acutely made aware of his/her shortcoming by the outside world, the so called society.. it is not easy for the child.. a child may lose his/her self confidence and feel inferior to others. The child may be intelligent but because of various remarks from the people, the child may not progress the way s/he should have in normal circumstances.
For the fortunate children with congential defects who have family support then also it is very hard because such children doesnt disclose each and every taunt to their family (even when family is caring and lovingly) and keep it inside them and suffer.... Life is not easy for such children.. even after becoming adult cos there is a baggage which that child carries for life.. Only few children with such conditions come out a winner.. but not all are fortunate in that way..
In such cases, may be abortion is justified.. I am saying this but I am still not sure.. kinda confused a lot about it.. but have seen the circumstances the parents and children with congential defects go through out their lifetime so kind of siding with a yes.. but still confused.. 😕 cos my heart say no and head says yes..
Hope you dont mind me asking one question in this thread of yours simran... My question is..
Should a child with congential defects which doesnt affect his/her thinking power should be made aware of his/her congential defects from childhood say 5 years or there after by parents???
OR
parents should never ever mentioned to the child regarding the same and just love the child??? but sooner or later the world will?
Please answer friends.. thanks.. 😊
Ya true....Peoples do abortion diff situation...sometime we cant blame them..but i feel its very tuff n crual dicision.
yes u can b brave and go through the 9 months knowing how ur baby is and that it doesnt have a future that u had imagined for it! it wont survive long, and the society wont accept it normal! or abort it and pray to God to give u another chance! its very difficult! aborting a child isnt being selfish - if u cant look after the baby, if ur emotionally not perfect, then its best to end it coz u wont b giving it the life it deserves!
this topic for me is difficult coz iv been through it! i was pregnant and i was so happy when i had gone to the hospital for a scan but the result wasnt what i wanted to hear- im not sure what the condition medically was called but my baby didnt have a head to cover its brain at 15 weeks - which meant most likely either it was going to be born very abnormal with a very short span life (1hr) or that i was going to miscarriage putting my life in danger. I had no choice my husband wasnt going to put my life in danger n neither were my parents - i was in a shock mode to say anything andd still today i got this fear in my heart on trying again - its something that stays with u and haunts u - it makes u think y God can give healthy children to ppl who dont deserve it.
its a very hard topic to discuss! unless u know som1 or have been through it - u cant say its right or wrong!
Well said👏😊
Completely agreed with you Duha.. it is really a very sensitive topic and someone who has gone through it will know how it feels. I am sorry to hear about your experience and pray to god that you have a healthy baby in the near future. 😳
I can understand your fear of taking a chance again as me too have and am experiencing the same fear. I had a miscarriage last year because the fetus had some problem (which we came to know later on by doing a test on fetus) and guess god took the decision in his own hands that time, otherwise, I would had to go through what you had to, in taking one of the toughest decision. Then also, it was very very painful experience to go through the process of detaching the fetus from me. I still sometimes remember that time and it makes me sad & cry. I can completely understand from where you and your fear is coming from. The fear of baby being normal in next preg is something which weights heavily on us. We can only pray to god and take every precautions (pre tests and medicines) before conceiving.
I also agreed with the bolded red part....
I wish you a healthy and safe pregnancy in future. May God Be With You.. and give you strength... Take Care.. sweta 😊
