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Who bears the marraige expenses? (Page 3)

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mittijalebi

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mittijalebi

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Who bears the marraige expenses? Girls folks / Guy'd folk OR marrying individuals?

For our wedding our parents paid for the majority of the expenses.  I helped out my parents somewhat by giving them everything that i had earned to date....i had only been working for a couple of years so it wasn't much.

For Sikh weddings, the expenses incurred for the ceremony in the gurudwara are all covered by the brides' parents.  The party can either be split amongst both set of parents or the groom's parents pay.........in that case they only invite ppl from their side.

Well, have apart from debateable question above few more questions

1. Getting married in court and throwing a party for loved ones justifiable as compared to big shaow shaa thng?

Sure some ppl might prefer this, but for me no.  Ever since i was a girl i dreamt of getting married in a gurudwara dressed up as a bride and performing all of the traditions.  if i were to go to court and get married....it just wouldnt seem like i was married to me.

2, Getting married as per societal norms - doesn't it is, more of soceital obligations rather personal commitments..

Of course it is.  I hardly knew 50% of the ppl at my wedding..........majority of them were my parent's friends........but they were paying for it so i couldn't complain right. LOL

Personally i would've been happier with a smaller wedding........more intimate the better.

3. Why parents have to pay for marraiges?

some parents feel that it is their last obligation to their kids.  they raise them and educate them and getting them married off is their last responsibility.  sometimes the bride and groom might not have enough to pay for the wedding.

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swordfishh

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Who bears the marraige expenses? Girls folks / Guy'd folk OR marrying individuals?

Well, have apart from debateable question above few more questions

1. Getting married in court and throwing a party for loved ones justifiable as compared to big shaow shaa thng?

2, Getting married as per societal norms - doesn't it is, more of soceital obligations rather personal commitments..

3. Why parents have to pay for marraiges?

 

A very personal issue... It ur personal choice how you want to celebrate your wedding... But then bearing heavy expenses just out of a social obligation and not to share your joy is a sad affair... A marriage party should be an occassion of happiness and not a reason for people to worry about heavy expenditure..

As reagrds parents paying for marriages... You see in India, marriage is not abt two individuals... Its about two families... So it is expected that the families chip in and pay for the marriage expenses.. Marriages are a big affair out here with all relatives being involved in a marriage... Thats one reason why a court marriage followed by a party for close friends is not quite the accepted norm in India... Here a marriage invariably means the involvement of all relatives and friends...

Guardian Angel

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Hey Minali always looking forward to hear your views! Smile

Originally posted by GUARDIAN ANGEL

Originally posted by raj5000

Who bears the marraige expenses? Girls folks / Guy'd folk OR marrying individuals?

ClapClapGreat topic Anshu.  Up  until few years back the girl's family used to bear expenses.  However, I see increasingly it is the marrying individuals who decide about expenses and share the cost in some way.  I think we are now following the western society and modern day expenses.

We have also seen that in lieu of presents, the couple ask for money.  A lot of times they have showers or "socials".  The socials are a big thing here in my Province.  The couple sell tickets for such events and provide food.  There is also a raffle sometimes.  It is a way of having some extra cash to pay for wedding expenses.

Well are you saying parents have no take on marraige celebrations all costs should be born by bride/groom? If yes I concur!

Yes that is what I meant.  I really would not want to burden my parents even though that has been the norm.  I would rather them help towards a home if at all they insisted.  However, I cannot expect a huge wedding if the bride and groom were handling the cost.  I think the parents would understand too and have seen it happen too where the parents have been understanding enough not to invite too many of their friends.

Well, have apart from debateable question above few more questions

1. Getting married in court and throwing a party for loved ones justifiable as compared to big shaow shaa thng?

Some couples do indeed just get married in Court and then just throwing a party to immediate family and friends. 

I know, but then they are unsubjectable to consider society as part of life. Since they are less anwerable to society, if u know what I mean.

I really donot think these couples do it because they donot consider society as part of life.  But its the most convenient thing for them.  One of the spouses may have been married before and doesnot want a big do.  There are various other reasons for doing this too but as we know it does not happen too often with us Asians.Tongue

2, Getting married as per societal norms - doesn't it is, more of soceital obligations rather personal commitments..

Yes it is more of a social obligation for a lot of times the couple donot even know all the guests as they are friends of family etc.  I feel some couples would prefer a small traditional wedding and save the money towards a home and appliances etc.  Big weddings are obligations because the parents feel they have to invite so and so as they had gone to someone else's son or daughter's wedding.

ConcurClap

3. Why parents have to pay for marraiges?

The parents still pay for the major part but they donot have to.  I know few close friends who already are planning their own wedding and if the parents insist they have asked for help towards a home or something else.  It is not fair that parents have to pay for the entire wedding but they can help out, both sides, for paying part of the cost i.e. reception.

Why yaa, am totally against it. Ok if they are so keen, fix deposit a joint account with all family members. Yup i don't disagree on a small engagement party at home, marraige per rituals in local temple, court maraige followed by reception reasonable place. End of story - marraige things resolves for me personally once commited to spouse, baki everythign is formalities and obligations.

What you have said....... is exactly what one of my brothers did.ClapClap 

Once again, great topic Anshu.ClapClap aww you got it, pleasure is all mine Embarrassed

 

sohn

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
I wud say... cummon its a Wedding! Its big, simply cus it calls together the entire family on both sides for fun n frolic. And the entire family wants to do something or the other for the new couple n the couple wants to chip in to do something for themselves as well lol. Everyone wants to chip in something or the other ...to give the couple a headstart with their life together. Be it gifts or scary advice or warnings or plain crispy moolah! Even if direct expenses weren't involved, everyone does keep giving in something or the other, other than ofcourse best wishes n love!

Sometimes the close family members n friends ask for a wish list...n they would eventually bring in some of the things that you would bring in, had you saved up for your less expensive wedding. Ofcourse it doesnt measure up exactly, but then...its more fun opening presents than buying stuff yourself Tongue Im not even counting the fun you would have with your family and friends who would harass and love you crazy in those days..!

For me, a register wedding wud be too extreme, so would a very very crazy lavish wedding. I would sit somewhere in the middle, trying to grab a bit of both Embarrassed

angel_111

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 5:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Who bears the marraige expenses? Girls folks / Guy'd folk OR marrying individuals?

Well, have apart from debateable question above few more questions

I think its a personal thing .. But no one should be forced into the expendiure. Most of the time girls parents are forced to spend more than they can, sometimes they volunturily do it ..

1. Getting married in court and throwing a party for loved ones justifiable as compared to big shaow shaa thng?

I had a legal wedding in the court, then a simple Aryasamajhi wedding .. I liked it that way and we had 50 people per side come in. Nice and cozy. We could spend the day having a lot of fun and not stressed out and smiling at strangers .. The night before the wedding where people are mostlystressed out me and my cousins and my parents had a blast and we went out saw a movie and had dinner together at our fav restaurant.

2, Getting married as per societal norms - doesn't it is, more of soceital obligations rather personal commitments..

The aryasamajhi wedding is quite simple and the pandit explains the vows in a very sweet way. So you really understand why the customs are there. Its a very sweet moment I think.

3. Why parents have to pay for marraiges?

My parents or the grooms parents did not. Me and my husband split it up.



Edited by angel_111 - 23 June 2007 at 5:52pm

mermaid_QT

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
bhag ke shadee karo and save that money for honeymoon, what say? Tongue
j/k.


Edited by mermaid_QT - 23 June 2007 at 5:55pm

Gauri_3

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 6:10pm | IP Logged
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kabeeraspeaking

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Posted: 23 June 2007 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

bhag ke shadee karo and save that money for honeymoon, what say? Tongue
j/k.

LOLLOLLOLqt...merey dil ki baat keh dee tum neyLOLLOL...but do you really need all that money for honeymoonWink

Why do you need money for honeymoon? You can make that be anywhere you want LOL LOL LOL Step into the back yard, or the dhabba across the street, and there are your wonders of the world LOL Wink

Talking about marriages, aren't honeymoon's becoming society norms to see who can outdo each other in going to the best, or most expensive of places? I personally think that spending much on honeymoon is unneeded. Unless you just need a reason to go vacationing, or have a place in mind that you really want to see.

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