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Why Men Batter Women?

Morning_Dew Goldie
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 2:05pm | IP Logged

 

This topic is somehow considered a feminist topic.. and many of our male friends dont like to comment on this ... as if blame is on all men .. Though it is not true. it is just like the case of bank robery where you find more men involved compare to women . Not every man rob a bank .. same way not every man batter his wife.

While reading some discussion about this topic I came across certian points which were discussed.  I would like to ask same questions to all of you .. plz do respond what you really feel about this problem ..  you can add any experience or example which you observed sometime in your life after the answers

    Do you think it is not true that only Men are batterers ? Is it easy to see one specific pattern among batterers and we can predict somehow about the situation ? It is true that most of the problem occur because of poor anger management  of batterers? Do you think Psychotherapy is a more effective treatment than prison ? Is it true that women often provoke men into battering them ? Women who stay in abusive relationship specially in north america with full awareness of social services  must be crazy ?
  1. Is it true that battered women could stop battering by changing their own behavior?

 

 



Edited by Morning_Dew - 08 June 2007 at 2:16pm

ChameliKaYaar IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 2:48pm | IP Logged

Elderly woman could face battery charges after scuffle

News-Democrat -- EAST ST. LOUIS -- A 73-year-old woman could face aggravated battery charges for allegedly biting a police officer who was trying to arrest her son Friday.
raj5000 Moderator
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 2:57pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Morning_Dew

This topic is somehow considered a feminist topic.. and many of our male friends dont like to comment on this ... as if blame is on all men .. Though it is not true. it is just like the case of bank robery where you find more men involved compare to women . Not every man rob a bank .. same way not every man batter his wife.

It's not considered f topicSmile. See who is first to break the ice here. Not sure about the word batter (I thought its idli ka batter), am inferring it as beating. If incorrect let me know would delete the response.

While reading some discussion about this topic I came across certian points which were discussed.  I would like to ask same questions to all of you .. plz do respond what you really feel about this problem ..  you can add any experience or example which you observed sometime in your life after the answers

To begin this is very cruel, highly low act perhaps to prove dominance in a household.

  1. Do you think it is not true that only Men are batterers ?

Only men no there are instance where women also guilty, but heard of more instances of men being guilty then women.

  1. Is it easy to see one specific pattern among batterers and we can predict somehow about the situation ?

It's a psychological problem, some kind of mental sickness that is responsible of one adult taking such action on life partner. Yes pattern can be drawn based on certain factors like mental sickness, drugs, aggressive upbringing etc.

  1. It is true that most of the problem occur because of poor anger management  of batterers?

Not Necessarily!

  1. Do you think Psychotherapy is a more effective treatment than prison ?

In this case neither helps. It's up to individuals, the guilty, if he/she realizes from within that this is most disgusting act and utterly *BLAH act.

  1. Is it true that women often provoke men into battering them ?

Yes or No!

  1. Women who stay in abusive relationship specially in north america with full awareness of social services  must be crazy ?

Not crazy but are forced into this abusive life due to "societal" pressure.

  1. Is it true that battered women could stop battering by changing their own behavior?

Any such situations are manageable, not particularly with behavior but avoiding similar situations.

Lastly, isn't this situation slightly similar to Mom/Dad battering kids?

Final verdict – battering among spouses, I say NO-NO, absolutely stand up against it.

 



Edited by raj5000 - 08 June 2007 at 2:58pm
qwertyesque IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Morning_Dew

 

This topic is somehow considered a feminist topic.. and many of our male friends dont like to comment on this ... as if blame is on all men .. Though it is not true. it is just like the case of bank robery where you find more men involved compare to women . Not every man rob a bank .. same way not every man batter his wife.

While reading some discussion about this topic I came across certian points which were discussed.  I would like to ask same questions to all of you .. plz do respond what you really feel about this problem ..  you can add any experience or example which you observed sometime in your life after the answers

    Do you think it is not true that only Men are batterers ? Havent you seen men with black eyes....LOL Is it easy to see one specific pattern among batterers and we can predict somehow about the situation ? Men batter only if their egos are bruised. It is true that most of the problem occur because of poor anger management  of batterers? No.. maybe ok yes... Do you think Psychotherapy is a more effective treatment than prison ?Dont piss of a known batterer how about that? 
  1. Is it true that women often provoke men into battering them ? yes.. many times they stop them from having affairs i dont know why...

LOL

    Women who stay in abusive relationship specially in north america with full awareness of social services  must be crazy ? havent u heard about ruthless romance?        &nbs p;         &nbs p;         &nbs p;          LOL
  1. Is it true that battered women could stop battering by changing their own behavior? they should learn karate...and aim u know where to get a abusive guy off of themLOL

 

 

Dabulls23 IF-Stunnerz
Dabulls23
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Joined: 31 October 2005
Posts: 28768

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Morning_Dew

 

This topic is somehow considered a feminist topic.. and many of our male friends dont like to comment on this ... as if blame is on all men .. Though it is not true. it is just like the case of bank robery where you find more men involved compare to women . Not every man rob a bank .. same way not every man batter his wife.

Excellent topic Dewey Clap Clap This topic is very close to my heart for  being a woman.  Agree not all men are robbers and abusers Embarrassed

While reading some discussion about this topic I came across certian points which were discussed.  I would like to ask same questions to all of you .. plz do respond what you really feel about this problem ..  you can add any experience or example which you observed sometime in your life after the answers

I am not an expert in this subject but from what I know and have seen I am answering your questions Big smile

  1. Do you think it is not true that only Men are batterers ?

Not all men are batters.  SOme women are abusers too.  But more common in men than women I think.

2. it easy to see one specific pattern among batterers and we can predict somehow about the situation ?

Well usually Abusers have been abused, molested or traumatized by someone when they were very young.  Usually that legacy is carried on and there is pattern one can see.  Usually history repeats itself unless taken professional help.

Possibly coming from broken family where there has not been a Role Model father figure.  Fathers are the ones who make the sons turn into men.  It is extrmely important for father-son to have very good relationship.

3. It is true that most of the problem occur because of poor anger management  of batterers?

Not only poor anger management but something which may have happened to the person in past which triggers this act of anger and violence. Their defensive mechanism is always on.  Poor selfesteam, insecurities and not feeling good about themselves in someways Embarrassed.

4. Do you think Psychotherapy is a more effective treatment than prison ?

Not an expert again but Combination probably would be the best option.

5. Is it true that women often provoke men into battering them ?

I do not think so. That is a lame excuse IMHO.  No one can make anyone do something which they do not want to do.  Anyone can provoke anyone by doing anything but the final control is in your hand how one wants to react to it.  If Can't take it than just walk away IMHO.

6. Women who stay in abusive relationship specially in north america with full awareness of social services  must be crazy ?

Women are abused everywhere not only in No. America.  In our own coutry India-Pakistan this has been happening for a long time.  We just don't want to talk about it and face it.  Only in NO. America it is talked about and it is out in open due to awareness by organizations like "SAHARA"

I don't think these women are crazy at all.  It is easy to call someone crazy look in from outside.  Only the women who are in that situation know what they are going thru.  Their self esteem and confidence is so much broken by the abuser that they don't even think they are worthy of anyone's love or affection let alone protection.  They are killed from within.  Along with their body their soul is damaged by the abuse.  They also are scared for their lives, and children's lives if they have any.  This is not as simple as we think.  It is much more complicated than just saying that such abused women should pack up and leave. 

Is it true that battered women could stop battering by changing their own behavior?

Yes.  With good Couselling & Loving one self builds confidence and self esteem in women.  This will help them the way they think and take decisions which in turn will display new changed behavior.  It is long process but it is very much doable.  Love and support of family and friends is a must along with professional help.



Edited by Dabulls23 - 08 June 2007 at 3:34pm
Dabulls23 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ChameliKaYaar

Elderly woman could face battery charges after scuffle

News-Democrat -- EAST ST. LOUIS -- A 73-year-old woman could face aggravated battery charges for allegedly biting a police officer who was trying to arrest her son Friday.

Now that aggravated assault could be justified Ouch  LOL

sareg IF-Dazzler
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Dabulls23 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 08 June 2007 at 4:29pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sareg

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lRMfxzy9KlM

So what is the point here Confused We all know and have said women abuse men too. Enlighten me Vineet.  I value your views dear Big smile 

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