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Bollywood part 2

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kal-el

IF-Sizzlerz

kal-el

Joined: 12 January 2007

Posts: 10324

Posted: 07 June 2007 at 6:49am | IP Logged

After being chased from everywhere Sadaam went to Mumbai where he met Rani Mukherjee.

So he greeted Rani "kahoo Rani ji kya haal hai"?

Rani "kya bataon Sadaam bhai kabhi khushi tu kabhi gum. Apna kahoo Sadaam Bhai.

Sadaam "Kya bataon behna mera tu bus kabhi goli kabhi bumb".

 

2) Mohabbatien:

"Ek ladki thi dewani si , Ek ladke pe woh marti thi , nazren jhuka ke ,
sharma ke , galion se guzrti thi , chori chori chupke chupke chitthiyan
likha karti thi, kuch kehna tha shayad us ko , jane kis se darti thi,jab
bhi milti thi mujh se , mujh se poocha karti thi, yeh pyar kaise hota hai , yeh
pyar kaise hota hai , aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha"

Musebatien:

"Ek ladka tha pagal sa, ek moti pe woh marta tha ,
nazrien chupa ke, dar dar ke , date pe jaya karta tha , kuch kehna tha
sayad us ko , magar us moti se darta tha , jab bhi milta tha bechara mujh
se mujh se poocha karta tha , " main chutkara kaise paoooon, main chutkara
kaise paooon", aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha ("abe to aise lafron main
padta hi kyun hai )"

) Kuch Kuch hota hai:

"Pyar dosti hai , agar woh meri sab se acchi dost nahi ban sakti to main us
se pyaar kar hi nahi sakta"

Kuch Kuch Zaroor ho raha hai:

"Date bahaut zaroori hai , agar woh mere saath date par nahi aa sakti , to
main us se pyaar kya pyaar ka abba bhi nahi kar sakta" (Samajhti kya hai
apne aap ko)"

7)Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum:

"Parampara Dad, Parampara , pehle aap gaye the phir bhaiya gaye the aur ab
mujhe jana chahiye"

Kabhi tum Kabhi hum:

"Parampara Dad , Parampara, pehle aap date par jate the , phir bhaiya jane
lage , ab main bhi jaooon ga"

 

Finally, here is some warning given out in good faith!

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun?

 

BOLLYWOOD REMIX

ORIGINAL:
Tumse milne ki tamanna hai............pyar ka eerada hai............
aur ek vaada hai............J..a....a..n..a...m........
REMIX:
Tumko marne ki tamanna hai......dushmani ka eerada hai..........
aur ek vaada hai..............Z.....a...a...l...i...m.........


ORIGINAL:
Tum paas ayae............. yun muskuraye................
tum ne na jaane kya......... sapne dikhaye............
ab to mera dil jaage na soota hai.............kya karun hai......
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai................
REMIX:
Machar paas ayae............yun bhin bhinayae..............
machar ne na jaane kyon .........sapne churaye............
ab to raat bhar so nahin paata hun............kya karun hai....
Machar Bhin Bhinate Hain...........

ORIGINAL:
Bazigar O.... bazigar.......tu hai bada Jaadugar.............
mera dil tha akela ............tune khel aisa khela .............
tere yaad mein jaagu raat bhar.....r..r..r..r.......
REMIX:
Bazigar O.... bazigar.......tu hai bada Dhokebar.............
tune dil mera tooda ............maine Fevicol se jooda .............
tere yaad mein mare Machaar.....r..r..r..r.......

ORIGINAL:
Jab bhi koi ladki dekhon........mera dil dewana bole
ole......ole ole......ole...ole...ole.........
gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............
Ole.....Ole .....Ole...................Ole....Ole.....Ole........
REMIX:
Jab bhi koi Party deekhon........mera bhooka paet bole
chole......chole...chole......chole...chole...chole.........
khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............
chOle.....chOle .....chOle...................chOle....chOle.....chOle....... .

MUNNA BHAI

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient (F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai k mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.

Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.

Aanand jab end mien bachon ko story sunata hai to bolta hai;
Aanand: "Munna nay kaha tha k woh mujhay aik month mien meray feet pay khara kar de ga"
Bachay: Phir?
Aanand: "Phir kya, mujhay us ka bill pay karnay k liye apni car bechna pari."

Chinkie: Tum hamaisha clinic mien apnay saath meri photo bhi kyun le jaatay ho.
Munna: Apun ko jab bhi koi mushkil aati hai, apun tumhari pic dekh leta hoon aur woh prob. solve ho jaati hai.
Chinkie: Dekha! Mien tumharay liye kitni achi aur powerful hoon.
Munna: Haan! Apun teri pic dekhta hai aur apnay aap say bolta hai "Is say bari bhi koi problem ho sakti hai bhala."

Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

 

SHOLAY JAI AND MAUSI

After giving up 'goondagiri', Veeru has now joined an Indian body shopper and has become a Computer Consultant. Jay goes to Mausi for 'Basanti kaa haath mangane'..........


MAUSI: Bura nahin maanna beta, itna to poochna hi padtha hai ki ladke ka khandaan kya hai, uske lakshan kaise hain, kamaata kitna hai, US me masters kiya he...


AMITABH: kamaane ka to ye hai mausi, ki ek baar biwi baccho ki jimmewari sar pe aa gai, to consultant ka kaam chod kar regular employee hoga aur phir kamaane bhi lagega.


MAUSI: to kya abhi kucch bhi nahin kamaata?


AMITABH: nai, nai, ye maine kab kahaa mausi. kamaata hai lekin, ab roj roj to 'client' mil nahi sakta na, kabhi kabhi "BENCH" per baith jaata hai bechara.


MAUSI: BENCH pe bhi aana jana hai?


AMITABH: haan mausi, ab ye kambakht Computer Consultancy cheej hi aisi hai. Aur bench par to bade bade log jeseke Bill Gates, Andrew Grove, Larry Ellison bhi betha karte the.


MAUSI: to kya programmer hai?


AMITABH: chee, chi, chi, chee, chee! wo aur programmer? NAA! NAA!! wo to bahut hi acchhaa aur nek ladka hai, lekin waise ek baar kisi desi body shopper ke haat lag jaye na phir 'language/RDBMS/QA' ka kahaan hosh rahta hai! haath pakad ke 'IDMS' ya 'QA'karvaane bithadiya desi ne, ab isme bechaare Veeru ka kya dosh.


MAUSI: theek kahte ho beta, programmer woh, DBA woh, DESI ke paas kaam karta hai woh, lekin uska koi dosh nahin.


AMITABH: mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahen hai, wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai, arey Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye, ye 'programming', 'DBA' aur 'client ke paas jane ki aadat' to do din main chhoot jayegi.


MAUSI: arey beta is budhiya ko samjha rahe ho! apne COMPUTER CONSULTANTS ko chod dene ki aadat kisi body shopper ki chhooti hai aaj tak?


AMITABH: mausi aap Veeru ko nahin jaanti, biswaas kijiye wo is tarah ka insaan nahin hai. ek baar shaadi ho gai to wo 'PAGER' bhi rakhna band kar dega, bas PROGRAMMING apne aap chhoot jayegi.


MAUSI: hai raam, bas yehi ek kami baaki rah gai thi, to kya PAGER bhi rakhta hai?


AMITABH: to usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi, arey PAGER to PRESIDENT,VP, CEO aur unchey-unchey log rakhte hai haan.


MAUSI: accha! to beta ye bhi batate jaao ki tumhare ye gunwaan dost assal me kis company ke employee hai?


AMITABH: bas mausi, hum 'trace' kar rahe hai, original HI milte hi company ka pata chal jayega aur hum aapko khabar de denge.


MAUSI: ek baat ki daad dungi beta, bhale sow buraiyaan hon tumhare dost main, phir bhi tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.


AMITABH: kya karoon mausi, hum body shoppers log hi kucch aise hai. to ye rista pakka samjhoon.


MAUSI: pakka! bhale saari jindagi ladki kuwaari baithi rahe,lekin aise aadmi se Basanti ko nahin byahne waali, sagi mausi hoon koi sauteli maan nahin.


AMITABH: ajeeeeb baaat hai, mere itne samjhaane par bhi aapne inkaar kar diya, bechaara Veeru, na jaane ab agla client kaha milega!!

 

ENJOY ALLLOL

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ellemenopee

IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 15 September 2005

Posts: 30324

Posted: 07 June 2007 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
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kal-el

IF-Sizzlerz

kal-el

Joined: 12 January 2007

Posts: 10324

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 2:01am | IP Logged
here and there most my friends sent me and some i found on the net LOL

priyankap

IF-Rockerz

priyankap

Joined: 29 June 2005

Posts: 8492

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 4:25am | IP Logged
nug these are jus fab...ROFL
i cant stop laughing

priya

kal-el

IF-Sizzlerz

kal-el

Joined: 12 January 2007

Posts: 10324

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 4:50am | IP Logged
thankooo LOL

9904alisha

Goldie

9904alisha

Joined: 24 January 2006

Posts: 1098

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 4:50am | IP Logged
LOL LOL LOL thanks a lot

kal-el

IF-Sizzlerz

kal-el

Joined: 12 January 2007

Posts: 10324

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 6:40am | IP Logged
your welcome

Shazia_haya

IF-Rockerz

Shazia_haya

Joined: 25 May 2006

Posts: 5368

Posted: 08 June 2007 at 7:30am | IP Logged
lol hilarious....do post more.... LOL

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