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what is to select family or love

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girirajb

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girirajb

Joined: 22 May 2007

Posts: 1

Posted: 22 May 2007 at 11:21pm | IP Logged

if one thing is to be chosen family or love

reason family is afraid of society and the reason is that the girl i love is divorcee with son and over age.

but we are in love fo last 7 yrs. having relation and good tuning. we can't imaging living away from each other. her name is priya.

but my family members are not accpting this proposal. they want me to marry a girl of their choice.

 

i love both. if i don't marry as per my family i think they will die of shock. they will not bear the shock. i am unable to decide what to do.

 

priyas family member accepted my proposal.

 

 

but i had to leave my family. can't decide

 

there is huge tension in my family.

 

second thing if i don't marry as per my parents choice my father will scold priya and abuse her alot in front of others. he will aso reach priyas father and also scold him saying vulgar word to priya and her father. i m also afraid of all these things . becoz the environment in priyas family is very sobar.

 

just frightend of all these things.

if i don't marry with the girl of my parents choice it will be very difficult for priya to move in socity. what will happen to son

i mean to say my father will just scold her in all relatives and known persons not more than that.

priya is ready she says that all these things are normal once u mary me all thses things will stop. and no problem if we are togather this will vanish after som time.

 

but i cant leave my family also and give tension to my mother and father.

plz tell me what to decide

 

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SAMYD

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SAMYD

Joined: 09 March 2007

Posts: 102

Posted: 25 May 2007 at 10:52am | IP Logged
Hi girirajb

No one can tell u what to decide It has to be yr n priya's decision its yr future together
Have u taken into consideration all the things u have to face when u marry her.
1.Yr parents might never accept her or talk to her or disown u.
2.U have to take care of her child as yr own. Believe me its a big responsibility.
3.Age difference depends how much difference
4.May be u will change after marriage cause the attraction which is there bet.u both wont be the same marraige changes a lot of things.
5.Depends on yr maturity level n how u handle things.
n many other things

Whatever u've written about yr family abusing priya n her family it is but natural cause yr family is protective about u they want the best for u too. No one is yr enemy. Yr family's view point is diff. if u r mature n confident about yr n priya's relation then find a way to convince yr family that she's the right person for u. It depends on both u n priya.
So best of luck n take decisions in a mature way.

~Anji~

Goldie

~Anji~

Joined: 27 January 2005

Posts: 1603

Posted: 25 May 2007 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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cool_pooja

IF-Sizzlerz

cool_pooja

Joined: 22 January 2005

Posts: 12911

Posted: 26 May 2007 at 2:17am | IP Logged
You have to first anaylise the situation. This is not a choice between family and love rather its about ur princuples. Why are your parents so much against this marriage? Is it only bec of Priya being overage and having a son or our their any other sinster reasons?? Maybe they are bothered abt what wud the society think. If this is the case sit down and explain to them that maybe the society wud talk today but once u start to ignore them it wunt be much time that they will stop. Reason wid dem. Smile

damilola

IF-Rockerz

damilola

Joined: 30 January 2007

Posts: 9143

Posted: 27 May 2007 at 3:53pm | IP Logged
stay wit priya cos if u go wit ur family's choice u will be making three people unhappy
1: urself
2: the girl dat your parents want
3: priya

buh dats just wat i think
if u guys surely reli luv each other then ur family will get used to your decisions and accept ur choice

- damilola

cool_pooja

IF-Sizzlerz

cool_pooja

Joined: 22 January 2005

Posts: 12911

Posted: 28 May 2007 at 3:11am | IP Logged
In the end its upto u. Smile

Yosh

Goldie

Yosh

Joined: 16 March 2007

Posts: 1953

Posted: 28 May 2007 at 1:22pm | IP Logged

I think you should try talking to your family again...And explain to them that at the end of the day it is your life...And you can't let fear of soceity spoil your life. Your family don't seem to have any strong reasons...Age difference, divorcee...I see where they're coming from but these kind of things are not looked down upon in todays soceity.

At the end of the day it is your life...So I think you should do what will be best for yourself and not others.

~LiNa~

IF-Rockerz

~LiNa~

Joined: 11 March 2005

Posts: 7261

Posted: 31 May 2007 at 4:15am | IP Logged
yea...age does not really matter in this day and age...we live in the 21st century...a lot of people in society nowadays are more open minded.

But if your parents are a little orthodox then i guess it s adifferent matter altogether. Sit down with them and explain to them in detail. Tell them that love priya and u cannot afford to lose her and that u love them very much as well and dont want to lose them. You cannot choose between your love and family and tht you want both. Tell your parents that Priya and you are very happy together and this about your future. Ultimately yours n their decidion now will decide the result of your future.

Let your parents know that even if you do ge married to their choice of a girl she cna never tak priyas place and you would neve be able to give that girl the love she deserves, the love every wife deserves.

Lay out all these facts in front of them and then leave it to them to make the decision. If they still do not agree then this time why not ask Priya's parents to talk to them? or ask anyone else from your family or relatives whom you are close to and agree with your decision to tlak to them

I hope you and priya do get married in the end! Smile

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