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CITD - Update Pg 18 (Page 7)

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Mini786

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Mini786

Joined: 10 July 2005

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Posted: 23 May 2007 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
Wow!
Just read ur story and I must say amazing!!
I really like the way you describe all of India threw an outsiders eyes...wonderful!
I really like the character of Durga and Narayan...brillaint!
Continue soon please!!
:D

-Mahak-

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coolniyu

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coolniyu

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Joined: 27 July 2005

Posts: 3953

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 3:03am | IP Logged
aaah finally got a chance to come read LOL AMAZING as usual Embarrassed
i like d fact tht she blushed but got back to her old self within a minute..i love the phrases u use..the walls were back LOL..u gotta teach me how to do tht sometime Embarrassed
loved d way they went twirling around Embarrassed like u said..a light chap...makes me go EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed
and abt what u said abt aloks gf bein important-now ur making me mighty curious as well LOL can i get a small small hint plz? Embarrassed

putturani

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putturani

Joined: 06 October 2005

Posts: 1986

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 4:08am | IP Logged

Originally posted by coolniyu

aaah finally got a chance to come read LOL AMAZING as usual Embarrassed Thanks Niyu, or, should I say, Dhanyavadagalu.Wink
i like d fact tht she blushed but got back to her old self within a minute..i love the phrases u use..the walls were back LOL..u gotta teach me how to do tht sometime Embarrassed It's nothing yaar, whatever comes to my head I write. I only plan the storyline.
loved d way they went twirling around Embarrassed like u said..a light chap...makes me go EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed Me too. I'm not fnd of those serious "angry young man" types.
and abt what u said abt aloks gf bein important-now ur making me mighty curious as well LOL can i get a small small hint plz? EmbarrassedHaha I think a hint may make it too obvious. I don't want to give it away. But look carefully.Wink

Originally posted by Mini786

Wow!
Just read ur story and I must say amazing!!
I really like the way you describe all of India threw an outsiders eyes...wonderful! I'm so glad you liked it. I was an outsider three years ago and it was tough. But it did give me lots to write about.Smile
I really like the character of Durga and Narayan...brillaint! DN, I think are tw of my characters I haven't messed up much. I messed up a few mre and they ended up in Mary/Marty Sue Graveyard.Ouch
Continue soon please!!
:D

-Mahak- Rani

Originally posted by shriyaroxxx

well, i just read the whole thing right now, and i cant believe i hadnt read this before, it is soooooo gud Clap Big smile Thanks Shriya. Congrats on being WOTW.Clap
narayan looks like he could be one of um, few crushes, & dis is a danger sign for all my frnds LOL Lol! Tell me more!
but anyway, great job, i looove it, cant wait for d next part, do post it asap Embarrassed Thank you and I will.Big smile


official blackmailer
nagging committee Wink Now I am scared!OuchWink

Originally posted by ~Sirius*Ysh~

agree with tanaz on the beautiful part of it!

otherwise i have to tell u... i love this too much! Thank you

it was so cute
and so light!!!!! The light stuff is relaxing to write. The serious stuff is well - more serious.LOL or, in your case, more Sirius.LOLLOL

nd im beginning to fall in love with narayan :"> Join the club.LOLEmbarrassed

i swer yaar! ur d best Tum bhiEmbarrassed

and no u will not discontinue!!!! bt if u PM me d chaps i dunt htink ill have a problem Embarrassed No, not discontinuing, just updating later because of MUN and the fact that I am travelling.

nd i dont feel sorry for narayan at all.. i mean the more lost he gets d more hell run into durga WinkWink... HahahahaLOLLOLConvenient, no?

how so totally cute Embarrassed ... both of them blushed Embarrassed It takes a lot to make someone like Durga blush so Narayan is quite talented.LOLEmbarrassed

u knw its too bad dat i am NEVER the first reviewer [:-<> No probs yaar, first reviewer or last, as long as you are a reviewer it is ok.

but still i read it Big smile

luvya Lots of love

HeartYshHeart

Originally posted by T.

Excellent chapter! I really like the way you bring forth the flavours of India through Narayan's eyes. Thanks T (can I call you Tanaz?Embarrassed) Hearing this from a great writer like you is a big compliment. Some of Narayan's feelings are my own (some not all) as I dsicovered different parts of India.

One point from me - when Narayan sees Durga, he just keeps describing her as "beautiful". I think you need to go a little more in depth in terms of describing Narayan's physical reactions to Durga to really enforce the impact of the word "beautiful". I love critisism! Thanks for telling me, it really helps. HugOne question, what exactly do you mean? Can u give me a sample phrase? I won't use the same one of course but then I'll know exacly what you are talking about. And thanks for the tip, I have an idea what you mean but I just wanna be sure. I'll keep in mind next time.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=.:.Suhana.:.]Its a wonderful chapter! I'm really looking forward to more interaction between Narayan and Durga. Seems like things are going well! Wink Thanks Suhana. I love your website and your creations. Awesome job!Clap

Great job! Continue soon.

Originally posted by SpoILed BraT

im the first to review!! yey!!

first of all, dont stop posting ur story... or else ysh and i will get the
nagging
committee on this... Wink Oh the nagging committee! I'm scared!LOLOuch

i loved the chapter... ur writing style is really nice... and its quite
descriptive  Thank you, I'm glad I'm not mucking up too badly.LOL
too... poor narayan... he shud learn how to travel with company so he
doesnt
get lost so much... maybe he could take durga along all the time? LOL That'd be fun.LOL LOL

its nice to see that durga finally gave him a genuine smile and not the
cold one she usually delivers... Yes, she's opening up, bit by bit.

the chapter was light and funny... Yay Big smile So should the next one. It gets boring if it is too serious, no?

over all... a great chapter.... Thanks

continue! continue! continue! Big smile I will - as soon as I can. 

Originally posted by ~Sirius*Ysh~

okay its tuesday nd u gta update today!!!!

cmon yaar! Well I updated and hopefully my next update will be on Friday or saturday at the latest. However, I can't promiss anything because I have a big workload and I am travelling on Tue. Ysh, you know about the MUN, right?

u knw dis is my most most most fav stry so far??? i just luv ur style of writing... Aww thank you.Hug

there i have praised u too Embarrassed (tanu i stole ur methodWink) HahaahaLOL

so update today Tongue

luv Lots of Love

HeartYshHeart

~Sirius*Ysh~

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~Sirius*Ysh~

Oct Fest Winners - Harry Potter Forum!

Joined: 16 May 2006

Posts: 2989

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
yea i have been there in the sue graveyard LOL....

dont worry both ur charectors are faaaaaaaar away from sue-ishness of any sort Embarrassed

esp durga Embarrassed

nd good luck with ur MUN!!!

nd make sure u have a bank b4 u get busier Tongue

luvya

HeartYshHeart

Mini786

IF-Dazzler

Mini786

Joined: 10 July 2005

Posts: 4007

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 1:24pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by ~Sirius*Ysh~



there i have praised u too Embarrassed (tanu i stole ur methodWink)

-Stealerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Heh....But my maska didnt work for you nah..hopefully this one works..
So for rani...You are one of the most amazing writers I no (Others include Ysh!!)
Please continue!
(Heh, LOL in one blow got both of you...now you have to continue...rite?
Big smile



-Tanu-

~Sirius*Ysh~

IF-Dazzler

~Sirius*Ysh~

Oct Fest Winners - Harry Potter Forum!

Joined: 16 May 2006

Posts: 2989

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
i continued tanu Tongue right after ur post Tongue nd all 4 u Wink

nd yea u heard tanu Tongue

UPDATE Tongue...

actually u updated just day before yesterday... so ill give u one more day Tongue

thats all Tongue

plleeeeeeeeeeeeeej Hug o-<
luv

HeartYshHeart

Morgoth

IF-Veteran Member

Morgoth

--

Joined: 01 June 2004

Posts: 6832

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 2:36pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by putturani

can I call you Tanaz?Embarrassed

Sure Smile

Hearing this from a great writer like you is a big compliment. Some of Narayan's feelings are my own (some not all) as I dsicovered different parts of India.

Oh I'm no great writer. LOL I've a long way to go. But, I'm not surprised if they are your own. A writer always puts in his/her own experiences in a story in some way or another.

I love critisism! Thanks for telling me, it really helps. HugOne question, what exactly do you mean? Can u give me a sample phrase? I won't use the same one of course but then I'll know exacly what you are talking about. And thanks for the tip, I have an idea what you mean but I just wanna be sure. I'll keep in mind next time.

 Oh sorry for being vague! For instance, you show Durga blushing as her physical reaction. But, how does Narayan react? Does he find his heart skipping a beat, does he feel a strange warmth creep up his face or his ears? Just a basic physical reaction, which hints at the beginning of his attraction to Durga. It makes a better impact than just the word "beautiful". Hope that helps!

 

~Sirius*Ysh~

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~Sirius*Ysh~

Oct Fest Winners - Harry Potter Forum!

Joined: 16 May 2006

Posts: 2989

Posted: 24 May 2007 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
actually tanaz, your tip helps me too LOL cos i have the tendency to just write a single word and allowing it to explain itself... ill bear ur advice in mind too Hug
thanks a lot Embarrassed

HeartyshHeart

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