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CITD - Update Pg 18 (Page 6)

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Adi''s_GirL

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Adi''s_GirL

Joined: 12 March 2006

Posts: 6157

Posted: 19 May 2007 at 10:30am | IP Logged
i read the chapter this morning and wanted to comment right away but i
had to go... since then, i was waiting to get home and write my
comments...

i loved the chapter... and liken niyu and ysh said, the chat mix up was
really cute...

durga seems to hate her paternal side of the family... i wonder why? cant
wait to find out!

durga and alok's relationship is pretty cool too... even if she doesnt like
her paternal side of the family, she seems to get along with alok really
well... i think that's really nice

overall, great chapter... do continue soon please! Big smile

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~Sirius*Ysh~

IF-Dazzler

~Sirius*Ysh~

Oct Fest Winners - Harry Potter Forum!

Joined: 16 May 2006

Posts: 2989

Posted: 21 May 2007 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
okay its tuesday nd u gta update today!!!!

cmon yaar!

u knw dis is my most most most fav stry so far??? i just luv ur style of writing...

there i have praised u too Embarrassed (tanu i stole ur methodWink)

so update today Tongue

luv

HeartYshHeart

putturani

Goldie

putturani

Joined: 06 October 2005

Posts: 1984

Posted: 21 May 2007 at 9:06pm | IP Logged

Here it is guys! Part 5! Now this is less serious than some of the previous chapters but I think a lot of you will like this one.WinkEmbarrassed But I can't be sure if you don't tell meWink Right, now since only Ysh, Niyu and Rashmi are replying, I thought that I could just PM them the parts and stop posting here. Sorry guys, blackmail, but I have to do it.LOLOuch Now read, enjoy and REPLY!

 

There were twenty-seven Lays chips hanging from the ceiling. Seven were tomato flavored, ten more, were "Classic Salted" and the remaining ten were "Magic Masala."  The word "Cadbury" on the chocolates could be re arranged to form "buy card." Needless to say, Narayan was beyond bored. His uncle had gone on and on about his plans for the lodge and his aunt had been no better, praising their son Maitreya to the skies. If that wasn't enough, he had gotten lost AGAIN. He had had no money to pay the auto driver so he had hopped off at a small store hoping to find someone to help him. So far, no one had turned up and it was getting steadily hotter. What a way to spend the Sunday! He tried talking to the shopkeeper again. But he knew no Kannada and the shop keeper knew only the English numbers. The communication gap was frustrating. Narayan wiped his forehead.

 

He certainly hadn't bargained for this much when he decided to come to India for six months.  He had never seen a more frustrating and intoxicating place. He was sure he'd get a sensory overload sometime soon. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes were all thrown together in this lively country. As he was thinking, he noticed a beautiful girl walking towards the shop. Finally! Hopefully she knew Kannada AND English and she'd have him out of this mess in no time. "Durga? It was Durga!"

 

Narayan found his legs running towards her of their own accord, his joy overflowing. "Durga!" Ignoring her surprised face he grabbed both her hands and spun her around, laughing. Caught unawares, she joined him. Soon they were both spinning round and round, their giddy laughter echoing in the empty street.

 

"I…I've never laughed so much in ages." Narayan panted after catching his breath.

 

"Nor have I, thanks." She smiled at him, completely genuinely for once. And she looked beautiful. He took a moment to just look at her, to take this new, free-spirited side of her in. Her inky hair was flying, framing her face like a halo. She was still laughing, her cheeks a rosy pink. Narayan held his breath. He had never seen someone look so beautiful. He had never noticed this side of her before, she never let him but when he did, he couldn't stop looking. So this was the Durga that her friends and family saw. This was the Durga he always wanted to see…

 

"Ummm…you can let go of my hands now." Durga said quietly but Narayan was too deep in his dream world to hear her.

 

"Ouch! What was that for?!" She had slapped his hands. Uh-oh, it looked like the walls were back in place.

"You were holding on to my hands for too long." Durga almost whispered, blushing slightly. She widened her eyes. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let go." She demanded and with a violent shake of her arms she freed herself. "Ok, time for the rapid fire. Why are you here? What are you doing? How did you get here?"

 

"Oh Durga it was awful." He took a deep breath. "Even with your grandfather's help I got lost on the way to my uncle's house.  While returning, my aunty gave the auto driver the directions but, due to my lucky streak, the guy was deaf! Well a little bit anyway. So he didn't here most of what my aunty said. So, later, when we were in the middle of an empty road, he asked me! Guess in which language? Kannada!"

 

 "If you come to the capital of Karnataka, people will be speaking…umm…it's a hard one…Kannada!" She said sarcastically.

 

"Listen to my story! I don't know a word of Kannada and that guy understood neither my Hindi nor my English."

 

"Obviously, you sound like you just stepped out of Buckingham Palace yesterday."

 

"Right, so we went round and round until I ran out of money – again! So I got off here, at this shop, hoping someone would help me find my way home. But again, there is a huge communication gap between me and the shopkeeper. And no one else came along, until you did of course. So I've been stuck in this shop for the past twenty minutes; counting the number of chips packets hung on the wall!" By this time; Durga was in hysterics.

 

"That was hilarious," she managed to say after she caught her breath. "Poor you, you're almost forgiven for holding my hand. Come, I'll find you an auto."

 

'Thanks Durga. Today, you saved me from going crazy. What were you doing here, by the way?" 

 

"My grandparents live here." She said shortly and proceeded towards the main road. "Well, aren't you coming?"

 

"Ma," Durga was back in her grandparents' house but Alok was still out. "Ma, I think it's time for us to go now. I've still got to go for practice." She whispered so no one else would hear.

 

"Haan chalo. Ma, main chalti hoon."

 

Dadi simply nodded. Quietly, they both made their way outside.

 

"Durga," said her mother when they were back home. "I need to pick up some groceries. You go inside."

 

"Ok, sure ma. Shall I help?"

 

"No need, just coffee and other things. "

 

"Ok" Durga was pleased to discover that Tara had stopped moping in her room and instead was lying stretched out in the garden, busy stripping the daisies of their petals. "Busy in 'he loves me, he loves me not'?" she asked jovially, flopping down next to Tara.

 

Tara turned to her slowly. "No, not at all. I just thought the daisies would be more attractive without their petals." They both laughed at this and headed inside. It being a Sunday, ajji was most likely to have prepared something delicious for the whole family to eat.

 

Up in her room, away from the noisy game of Putti and Kranti, Durga breathed a sigh of relief. Peace was so wonderful. She decided to quickly change before she went down for lunch. It was when she opened her drawer that she got a shock. "ANU!!!!" She screamed for the maid. "ANU!!"

 

Adi''s_GirL

IF-Rockerz

Adi''s_GirL

Joined: 12 March 2006

Posts: 6157

Posted: 21 May 2007 at 9:37pm | IP Logged
im the first to review!! yey!!

first of all, dont stop posting ur story... or else ysh and i will get the
nagging
committee on this... Wink

i loved the chapter... ur writing style is really nice... and its quite
descriptive
too... poor narayan... he shud learn how to travel with company so he
doesnt
get lost so much... maybe he could take durga along all the time? LOL

its nice to see that durga finally gave him a genuine smile and not the
cold one she usually delivers...

the chapter was light and funny...

over all... a great chapter....

continue! continue! continue! Big smile

SuhanaSafar

IF-Rockerz

SuhanaSafar

Joined: 09 December 2006

Posts: 5229

Posted: 21 May 2007 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
Its a wonderful chapter! I'm really looking forward to more interaction between Narayan and Durga. Seems like things are going well! Wink

Great job! Continue soon.

Morgoth

IF-Veteran Member

Morgoth

--

Joined: 01 June 2004

Posts: 6832

Posted: 22 May 2007 at 7:49am | IP Logged
Excellent chapter! I really like the way you bring forth the flavours of India through Narayan's eyes.

One point from me - when Narayan sees Durga, he just keeps describing her as "beautiful". I think you need to go a little more in depth in terms of describing Narayan's physical reactions to Durga to really enforce the impact of the word "beautiful".

~Sirius*Ysh~

IF-Dazzler

~Sirius*Ysh~

Oct Fest Winners - Harry Potter Forum!

Joined: 16 May 2006

Posts: 2989

Posted: 22 May 2007 at 10:58am | IP Logged
agree with tanaz on the beautiful part of it!

otherwise i have to tell u... i love this too much!

it was so cute
and so light!!!!!

nd im beginning to fall in love with narayan :">

i swer yaar! ur d best

and no u will not discontinue!!!! bt if u PM me d chaps i dunt htink ill have a problem Embarrassed

nd i dont feel sorry for narayan at all.. i mean the more lost he gets d more hell run into durga WinkWink...

how so totally cute Embarrassed ... both of them blushed Embarrassed

u knw its too bad dat i am NEVER the first reviewer [:-<>

but still i read it Big smile

luvya

HeartYshHeart

shriyaroxxx

IF-Dazzler

shriyaroxxx

Joined: 09 October 2005

Posts: 2944

Posted: 22 May 2007 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
well, i just read the whole thing right now, and i cant believe i hadnt read this before, it is soooooo gud Clap Big smile
narayan looks like he could be one of um, few crushes, & dis is a danger sign for all my frnds LOL
but anyway, great job, i looove it, cant wait for d next part, do post it asap Embarrassed


official blackmailer
nagging committee Wink

Edited by shriyaroxxx - 22 May 2007 at 4:05pm

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