Sher O Shayri
Sher O Shayri

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moving apart....

Jia IF-Rockerz
Jia
Jia

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Joined: 23 August 2005
Posts: 9318

Posted: 10 April 2007 at 5:50pm | IP Logged

kaise kahe tumhe meri zindagi
door jaane ka waqt kareeb hai abhi
kaise rahege tum bin jaan meri
majboori hai meri, ye tum na bhoolna kabhi

kehte hai kabhi alvida na kehna
lekin na kahoo, toh kaise jeeyu
aise lagta hai ki zindagi tham si gayee thi
waqt nahin ruka, ruk gaye the hum

chal ab waqt aa gaya hai...
ke waqt ke saath aage bade hum
udaas na hona meri jaan
dil mein tumhe basa liya hai, saath rahenge har pal

(its my pathetic first attempt at poetry...feel free to criticize =) )

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

radha07

radha07 IF-Dazzler
radha07
radha07

Joined: 07 January 2007
Posts: 4849

Posted: 11 April 2007 at 3:06am | IP Logged
Wow Awesome poet you have written there. Clap

Keep posting,
Radha
amisra IF-Dazzler
amisra
amisra

Joined: 12 July 2006
Posts: 3011

Posted: 11 April 2007 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Nope Khair, it's definately not pathetic! It's great for a first!! Really nice job yaar! Clap Clap Clap

Please post more!

Cheers,

Anjali

Edited by amisra - 12 April 2007 at 6:29am
*~Sapna~* IF-Veteran Member
*~Sapna~*
*~Sapna~*

Joined: 09 September 2004
Posts: 6550

Posted: 11 April 2007 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
wow...very nice one Khair...u should write more yaar Clap too good Clap
maya_afreen IF-Rockerz
maya_afreen
maya_afreen

Joined: 24 September 2006
Posts: 7858

Posted: 11 April 2007 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
Hey its too good yaar Clap u r a good shayar keep wirtingEmbarrassed
Jia IF-Rockerz
Jia
Jia

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Joined: 23 August 2005
Posts: 9318

Posted: 12 April 2007 at 6:48pm | IP Logged
Heyyy, thanks everyone for your kind words...i'll try to write another one sometime. I really appreciate your sweet feedback, but seriously u can say its not good and I can take that too...i know i can't be good at the first shot. so feel free to criticize too.
Morgoth IF-Veteran Member
Morgoth
Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6832

Posted: 24 April 2007 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
first timer? awesome khair! Clap
Virgo_Stars IF-Veteran Member
Virgo_Stars
Virgo_Stars

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Joined: 17 January 2006
Posts: 11530

Posted: 24 April 2007 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
Khair u really underestimate ur self.

The poem is excellent! Its so touching and sweet. You should definately continue writing. You are so good at writing, be it stories or poems.

Wait for many more Tongue

Naina

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