Jokes

hindi films and their dialogues

heyher87 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago

How many times have you heard these in Hindi Films?

* The classic:
 
 "main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon."

*  The eternal reason for being the victim of anything that can  
happen to you in
  hindi films :" Mai gareeb hoon na , isliye ...."


*  A main character in the movie will go to the temple and say :
  "Bhagwan mainey tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga....."


*  Old hindi movie :
  "Aiye ji sunte ho.. Aap bade woh hein."


*  Lover-girl to leaving lover-boy :
  "Mai tumhare bina nahin jee sakti "


*  "Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hein"
      &
*  "Rukjao! kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo"


*  Judge announcing his decision in filmi court :
  "Gawaaoon key bayaanat aur saboot ko madde nazar rakhtey
Taz-e-raat-e-hind, dafaa 302 ke tahet , muzrim ko sazaaye maut di jaati hai"


*  " Muzrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hai"


*  " Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi
   kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."


*  "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey"


*  " Raam Raam kaaka"


*  " Jug Jug jiyo beta "


*  " Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe"


*  " Kya issi din ke liye tujhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha?"


*  Typical farmer ka dialogue :
  " mainey is zameen ko apne khoon sey seencha hai "


*  Hero/heroine after opening their eyes in the hospital :
  " Main kahan hoon?"



*  " Hum jahaan khade hote hein, line wahin sey shuru hoti hai"


*  " Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey"


*  "Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein"


*  A Prem-Chopra-type villian to the heroine/village belle :
  " In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai"


*  " Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"


*  " Maine tumhe kya samjha, Aur tum kya nikley!"


*  doctor :
  " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"


*  The doctor to the paitent's near n' dear one :
  " I'm sorry, hum kuch nahin kar sakey"


*  doctor : " Chowbees ghante tak hosh nahin aiya to ..... "


*  " Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa."


*  " Jyaada hoshiayari karne ki koshish maat karna "


*  Amitabh in a hajaar movies :
  " Nahin chhodunga tujhe. Jaan sey maar daaloonga."


*  " Bhagwaan pe bharosa rakho. Sab thik ho jaiye ga"


*  " Woh ek gandi naali ka keeda hai"


*  A heroine's expression of what love does to her :
  " Mera dil dhak-dhak karta hai "


*  " Ajji sunte ho , munna ke pitajee "


*  Rich father to son : " Ek phooti kaudi nahin doonga "


*  " Zamaane ne thokar laga-laga ke is dil ko paththar bana diya"


*  Dharmendra in a hajaar movies : " Kutte! Kamine ! ....."
  " Yeh Taklooooo!"


*  Lalita Pawar in a hajaar scenes : " Chudeil! Kide pade tere ....."


*  Best way to threaten someone from doing anything against your  
wishes :
  " Agar tumhe maine yeh karne diya, to mera naam ______ nahin"
  " Tumne yeh kiya, to mujhse bura koi nahin hoga "


*  " Woh kutte ki maut marega "


*  " Bol! Bol heere kahan chuppa rakhe hai "


*  The favoirite emotional blackmail :
  " Tune yeh kiya to tu mere mara muh dekhegi "


*  Inspector Iftekar on a megaphone :
  " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf
   sey tumhe gher liya hai "
   " Apne hathiyaar phenk do "


*  The classic : " Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !"


*  One of the very best : " Mai tere bachche ki maa banne waali hoon  
"


*  "Jurm ki duniya ka betaaj badshah ... Kaaliya/Don/whatever "


*  Tikku Talsaniya in a hajaar movies " Ouff!  Yeh kya ho raha  hai "


*  Keshto in a million movies " Hi-HEEYAAHH!"


*  Shatru a hajaar times " Abbe ChaparGanju! "
 


*  The villian's sidekick : "Boss! Maal pakda gaya "


*  "Jo sheeshe ke gharon mein  rehne hein, woh doosron pe paththar  
nahin
    phenkte"


*  "Hum woh hein jo paththar ko kaanch se tod liya karte hein"


*  All filmi chowkidaars : " Shhalaam Shhaab!"


*-  The stereotypical announcer : " Bhaiyon aur behnon ...."  "  
Ladies and
    Gentelmen ..."
-   Mehmood, the announcer : " Ladies and Ledas ...."



*  " Har kutte ka din aata hai "


*  " Mai tumahara aihsaan zindagi bhar nahin bhoolonga"


*  " Itnay paise tum kahan sey laiye ?"


*  " Bacchhhhaaaooooooooooo......."


*  " Police mere peeche lagi hui hai .."


*  " Tum mere liye mar chuke ho "


*  " Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hein"


*  " Lo! -  Muh meertha karo "


*  " Hato naa!  Log kya kahenge "


*  " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."


*  " Aarre! isse to tez bukhaar hai "


*  " Maa tum kitni achi ho"


*  " Bhaiyaaa!"


*  " Yeh aap kya keh rahen hein, bhai sahab?"


*  " Aaj Pinky ka janam din hai"


*  " Gurkha, isse dhakke maarke bahar nikaal do "


*  " Mai yeh tumhaara aihsaan zindagi bhart nahin bhoolonga"


*   "Yeh anyay hai Bhagwan"


*   "Driver, gaadi roko"


*  " pulice ko tum  jaise naujawaanon per naaz hai"


*  "Ab tumhari maa hanmare kabze mein hai "
  " Agar tum paanch llaakh leker, silver beech ke puraney killey pe  
nahin
    aiye, to mai usse bum se udaa doongaa"


*  " Goli se udaa do usse"


*  Nirupa roy's favourite " Ek baar mujhe maa kehkar pukaro beta"


*  Gracious father taking the blame for his son :
   " Yeh khoon maine kiya hai, melod!"


*  " Bhaagne ki koshish mat karna"


*  " ... mujhe tumhaare is behte hue khoon ki kasam ...."


*  " Yeh sauda tumhe bahut mehnga padega"


*   Dumb looking hero coming to blind mom :
  " Maa, mai first class first pass ho gaya hoon"


*  "Beti, tu to paraya dhan hai "


*  "Pesh hai duniya ke jaane-maane kalakaar, Miss Renu"


*  " Zabaan ko lagaam do .."


*  The hindi film unnux :
  " Aaja re mere raaja "


*  On a suhaagraat nite, wife to husband :
  " Doodh pee lijiya"


*  " Seedhi Anguli se ghee nikalne waala nahin"


*  " Hume tedi anguli se ghee nikaalna aata hai"


*   " Kutte ki dum tedi-ki-tedi hi rehti hai "


*  " Bhabhi,  tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai "


*  Dharmendra : " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke  
maroonga "


*  " Tune mere peeth pe chura bhoka hai "


Specific dialogues :
---------------------

*  Hapless victim: " Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chhod do!"
  Shakti Kapoor : " Aaare bhagwaan ke liye chhod doon to mai kya  
karoon?
                    prasaad khaoon?"

*   Utpal Dutt to his daughter in GolMaal :
  " Tumhari shaadi usse nahin hogi jisse tum pyaar karti ho, balki  
usse hogi
    jisse mai pyaar karta hoon."



Here are ten more contributed by Deepak Deolalikar:

1. Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega

2. Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai

3. judge sahab, maine khoon nahi kiya.

4. kash tum mera yakin kar sakti

5. mein kisi ke muh dikhane kabil nahi rahi

6. ham barbad ho gaye

7. ghar mein jawan beti hai ........

8. tumhare  khyal kitne neech hain

9. Tum mujhe galat samajh rahi ho....kash mein sachchai bata sakta

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anjuman thumbnail
Anniversary 19 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
really good one u didn't miss a dialougeπŸ˜†
Morgoth thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
I couldn't finish reading all of them, but good collection!
Ritu_t123 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
        πŸ‘   πŸ‘πŸΌ
heyher87 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
😳i am feeling embarrassed by all this recognition!
Ritu_t123 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
                πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘
vijay thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago

Great!!!

One more for Shatrughan Sinha:

"Arre O khairati kharbuje, Ullu ke andde, bhopu baja baja ke mera Dimaag kharab kar diya hai tune. Main kehta hoon Chhup Ho Jaa Chhuppppp!!!" http://vijay.bhatter.comhttp://vijay.bhatter.comπŸ˜†

Shakti Kapoor: "Aaaooooo!"

Prem Chopra: "Prem naam hai mera"

Dev Anand: "Maiinnnnnn... "

Rajesh Khanna: "Babu Moshaiye.. "

Amitabh Bachan's famousin Kabhi Kabhi dialogue:

Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Main Khayal Aata Hain
Ki zindagi teri zulfon ki narm chhaon main guzarne pati
To sadab ho bhi sakti thi
Yeh ranjho gham ki siyahi jo dil pe chhayi hain
Teri nazar ki suahon main kho bhi sakti thi
Magar yeh ho na saka,
Magar yeh ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hain
Ki tu nahin, tera gham, teri jooftjoo bhi nahin
Guzar rahi hain kuchh iss tarah zindagi jaise,
Isse kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahin
Na koi raah, na manzil, na roshni ka suragh
Bhatak rahin hai andheron main zindagi meri
Inhi andheron main reh jaonga kabhi kho kar
Main janta hoo meri hum-nafas, magar yoonhi
Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hai

Kajol in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge:

Aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah athrah saalon mein
Undekha anjaana koi aane laga hai khayalon mein
Aankhon ki khidki par ek saya sa lehrata hai
Dil ke darwaze par koi dastak de ke jaata hai
Gheri gheri kaali aankhen mujhse mujhko poochti hai
Haaton ki rekhaon mein ek chehra sa ban jata hai
Uski saanse resham jaisi gaalo ko chu jaati hai
Uske haaton ki khushboo hai ab tak mere balon mein
Haan, aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah athrah saalon mein
Undekha anjaana koi aane laga hai khayalon mein

Right now I can remember only this much.

Cheers,
Vijay Bhatter
http://vijay.bhatter.com

 

anjuman thumbnail
Anniversary 19 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
well said(i mean written)πŸ˜† Edited by anjuman - 19 years ago
uddas thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
lo0z yarr. it took me 4 ever .. tooo much reading 4 me