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Joint family or a Nuclear family (Page 9)

pardeep1954 Newbie
pardeep1954
pardeep1954

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 9

Posted: 07 April 2009 at 8:02am | IP Logged
Hi Apux,
Your thoughts on the nuclear family are very much clear and encouraging, hopefully you must not have had love and affection of your grand parents, this must be the only reason that you are not condering them a part of the family, but what about those parents who have brought up their son and now a days are in old age which is generally called house of illness and stress, your thought directly means that once they got married their son to a girl, their all relations finished, after that they suffer any kind of problem that is their destiny, their son and daughter in law will reach there to just make all the last time ceremonies and collect the wealth they people have stored in their life time, is it right or justice with them? have any girl or person on behalf of the girl in question make it clear in advance means prior to the marriage, is there any fool who would like to make relashions with those people.
rogna IF-Rockerz
rogna
rogna

Joined: 30 November 2007
Posts: 5150

Posted: 07 April 2009 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
of course nuclear family man. joint family is way too much complicated and there's too many problems and confrontations.
apux IF-Rockerz
apux
apux

Joined: 04 December 2005
Posts: 6366

Posted: 07 April 2009 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by pardeep1954

Hi Apux,
Your thoughts on the nuclear family are very much clear and encouraging, hopefully you must not have had love and affection of your grand parents, this must be the only reason that you are not condering them a part of the family, but what about those parents who have brought up their son and now a days are in old age which is generally called house of illness and stress, your thought directly means that once they got married their son to a girl, their all relations finished, after that they suffer any kind of problem that is their destiny, their son and daughter in law will reach there to just make all the last time ceremonies and collect the wealth they people have stored in their life time, is it right or justice with them? have any girl or person on behalf of the girl in question make it clear in advance means prior to the marriage, is there any fool who would like to make relashions with those people.


WHOA.  Some interesting judgments you're making on me.  I've had much love and affection from my grandparents, but my grandparents live far away from me.  If I had the choice, I'd keep them forever with me.  First of all, I think you didn't read my post properly.  I said I consider a joint family is when there is more than one married couple from the same generation.  I think it's wrong to put parents in an old age home.  But I wasn't referring to parents.  I was referring to people who are usually considered as "extended family".   Like aunts, uncles, etc etc. 

I'm unclear about your last statement? So you're saying that a person wouldn't want a marry someone who doesn't want to live in a joint family?     
pardeep1954 Newbie
pardeep1954
pardeep1954

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 9

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 1:35am | IP Logged
Ok buddy
you yourself cleared my point that you were not refering parents in joint family, but by joint family you means where there more married couples lives together like uncle aunti etc. thanks a lot you also consider parents must be given due consideration, most of the girls disagrees now a days this even, many persons like us are facing such problems. In my last statement I mine point was same, nothing other, that if a girl before marriage clears or put a condition that she will not live parents of boy in consideration the scenerio for their marriage will be something differant, and it must be made clear in advance if such thoughts are the property of the girl in consideration, rather to have any mental tension etc. Anyway nice discussion and thanks for the same, have our blessings
_Angie_ IF-Rockerz
_Angie_
_Angie_

Joined: 21 February 2008
Posts: 9888

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 3:17am | IP Logged
Usually a girl knows before the marriage wheather she is marrying into a joint family or wud B likely to set up a nuclear family. Both have their advantages & disadvantages. If a girl moves into a jt family she should B mentally prepared for the challenges to B faced . Lot of adjustments have to be made anyway once a person gets married & moves into another family. In case of nuclear family the number of adjustments 2 B made may B lesser but then one wud miss the care , security  & affection of the other family members that one can get in a Jt family. It all depends on ones disposition I guess .
Jess. IF-Veteran Member
Jess.
Jess.

Joined: 07 February 2006
Posts: 13407

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by persistence

I would want time, and space with my husband. Embarrassed

No nagging by family members! Dead


Totally agree!! you cant do anything freely with an old saas watchingLOL
_Angie_ IF-Rockerz
_Angie_
_Angie_

Joined: 21 February 2008
Posts: 9888

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by pardeep1954

what about those parents who have brought up their son and now a days are in old age which is generally called house of illness and stress, - directly means that once they got married their son to a girl, their all relations finished, after that they suffer any kind of problem that is their destiny, their son and daughter in law will reach there to just make all the last time ceremonies and collect the wealth they people have stored in their life time, is it right or justice with them? have any girl or person on behalf of the girl in question make it clear in advance means prior to the marriage, is there any fool who would like to make relashions with those people.
Some valid points raised here. Smile  With the increasing trend for nuclear families , ppl do get neglected in their old age. There R number of senior citizens leading a lonely life after their grown up kids have settled elsewhere with their new families. At times their condition is really bad especially after the other spouse has died. It also poses a security threat as they R easy targets for the anti social elements. One big advantage of Jt families was that the old & infirm had a support system to fall back on which is quickly dwindling with the growth of nuclear families.
It may B difficult to live in very large families consisting of 2 or more married siblings living together under one roof with their spouses & kids but a family consisting of one married couple with parents & children included should be ideal. I feel that children should give some consideration to their parents at least during their old age.
pardeep1954 Newbie
pardeep1954
pardeep1954

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 9

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Hi buddy, nice presentaion, actuaaly this is not a problem of one person or of two, but this is a problem of our society as a whole, which is forgetting the ethics of family and society just due to the industrialisation, modernisation and what we call it western culture.  We are feeling problems, no doubt, but these problems are within us and not have come from outside, so it is we who have to trace its solution also. As it is generally said, if there is some problem then there is its solution also, need is to find it and impliment it. But sorry to say, while we are on the side of boy our thoughts are different as compared to the situation as would have been on the side of girl. Having two differant thought as per the situation directly indicates our double standards, hopefully this must be the reason also. We must think positively and have single thoughts for all the situations and there is a strong need to educate our upcoming girls, to brighten our future and save our ethics as a best solution. Only when our upcoming girls will have positive attitude, we can have better society.

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