to b very frank i had a indirect baal-vivaah onlyππ..we got engaged when i was 12yrs old ...and thats another topic for debate that is it right for the parents to get your children engaged at such an early age just for the sake of your family paramparaπ‘..but anyways i don't hv any complain because i fell in love with the same person when i was 16yrs oldπ...see how complicated my life isππ
Balike... Do you really want to get married? and that too to your fiance? ... I mean you may not be ready if you have doubts and concerns about how your future will shape up... Think hard and long and stick with your decision once decided...
Having said that , there are no gaurantees after marriage , only possibilities- Like he may turn out to be a monster and not the same person you thought you got married to... Of course he may feel the same about you too.π
Or you may have revelation and find that you don't really love him when you thought you did....Getting married on just feelings of love and nothing else is not wise... be prepared for contingencies and traps...π
I hope I haven't scared you but just pointed out some realities that have known to happen quite often... Remember every silver lining has a dark cloud..π³
Good luck....π
Edited by lighthouse - 16 years agothanks a lot for all your adviceπ...but i definitely want to get married π³but mayb after i make a name for myself,but again its extremely important that higher authorities listen to your voice π...so many BUTS in my lifeππmakes a perfect confused soul like meπ
i agree with aniji.....................n i think ke shud talk to ur would be,n unhe seedhe seedhe saaf sabdo me bata de ke aap joint family me kuch time to adjust kar sakti hai but puri life nahi........agar aapke wud be aapko samjhte hai to wo aapki baat se zarur sehmat honge....abhi sehmat nahi bhi huwe to shadi ke baad dhere-dhere pyaar se unko is baat ka ahsaas kara sakti hai aap,plz negative na souchte huwe tactfully handle kare situation ko........n achha souchogi to aage achha hi hoga,be positive yaar,yeh bhi ho sakta hai ke aapke in-laws ki joint family bohat hi achhi rahe............i think ke saare negative thoughts ko alag rakh kar khushi-khushi shadi kare ..............in advance wish u a very happy married life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Mandy for agreeing ..
while ur thoughts are beautiful but i don't agree on the highlighted part....I think the time to talk is now and not after marriage in the hope that the husband would listen afterwards.....she has identified a major potential problem big enough to break her marriage apart and to ignore it and go ahead and marry would be risky as per my opinion..........some people can't be sweet talked......speaking from experience here...π...my hubby and i had talked on certain issues before we got married and he still stands by those(luckily they are not big enough to shake the foundation of our marriage)π³.......or maybe i am not enough of a sweet talker..ππ.........someone has identified athe point is if problem then why wait for tommorow to solve it......why not today especially if its something as delicate as a marriage....my good wishes are with jyoti too...π³
oh oh,experience hai to than u r right........n i agree on the red colored part......but here is one thing she is saying na ke she fell in love with her wud be husband................ab jab love hai n adjustment ka soucha hai isliye maine aisa kaha tha.............kuch paane ke liye kuch khona bhi padta hai....joint families bhi achhi ho sakti hai,pehle se negative thought ke saath new relationship me enter karna thik to nahi na,at least ek chance to dena hi chahiye is this what i think...........