Joint family or a Nuclear family - Page 3

Posted: 16 years ago
[quote=Jyoti]so even i feel nuclear family is the best option but again in nuclear families we hv lots of domestic violence like a husband beating up his wife which can also happen in a joint family but there r people to support u in a joint family which is not the case in a nuclear family,where one has to overcome their problems single-handedly...so i think this confusion in my mind will always continue[/quote]

If a husband is beating up wife, whether in nuclear or joint family.. Its time to shut the marriage! I have been taught one thing from my parents: "You will never grow in supression. Never ever tolerate injustice and supression" And the very first beating.. it means that the person we call as "Significant other" doesn't hold any significance of your presence.

All in all, Have a good career. Be financially Independent.. Secure your money and future.. And kick the husband out of your life who is trying to torture you to hell... He simply isn't WORTH your companionship!
Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by jyoti06


to b very frank i had a indirect baal-vivaah onlyπŸ˜•πŸ˜†..we got engaged when i was 12yrs old ...and thats another topic for debate that is it right for the parents to get your children engaged at such an early age just for the sake of your family parampara😑..but anyways i don't hv any complain because i fell in love with the same person when i was 16yrs oldπŸ˜†...see how  complicated my life isπŸ˜†πŸ˜•

 Balike... Do you really want to get married? and that too to your fiance? ... I mean you may not be ready if you have doubts and concerns about how your future will shape up... Think hard and long and stick with your decision once decided...

Having said that , there are no gaurantees after marriage , only possibilities- Like he may turn out to be a monster and not the same person you thought you got married to... Of course he may feel the same about you too.πŸ˜†

 Or you may have revelation and find that you don't really love him when you thought you did....Getting married on just feelings of love and nothing else is not wise... be prepared for contingencies and traps...πŸ˜•

 I hope I haven't scared you but just pointed out some realities that have known to happen quite often... Remember every silver lining has a dark cloud..😳

 Good luck....πŸ˜ƒ

Edited by lighthouse - 16 years ago
Posted: 16 years ago
[quote=LH]Balike... Do you really want to get married? and that too to your fiance? ... I mean you may not be ready if you have doubts and concerns about how your future will shape up... Think hard and long and stick with your decision once decided...
[/quote]

Exactly what I was thinking! Very Valid question raised πŸ‘

Jyoti, I would like to ask the same question..Whatever decision you take, Good luck in that.. But precaution is always better than the cure. 😊 If you detect any problem..be that related to family or the guy himself, It is the time to raise your voice and act immediately. 😊
Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by MNMS


[quote=LH]Balike... Do you really want to get married? and that too to your fiance? ... I mean you may not be ready if you have doubts and concerns about how your future will shape up... Think hard and long and stick with your decision once decided...
[/quote]

Exactly what I was thinking! Very Valid question raised πŸ‘

Jyoti, I would like to ask the same question..Whatever decision you take, Good luck in that.. But precaution is always better than the cure. 😊 If you detect any problem..be that related to family or the guy himself, It is the time to raise your voice and act immediately. 😊

thanks a lot for all your adviceπŸ˜ƒ...but i definitely want to get married 😳but mayb after i make a name for myself,but again its extremely important that higher authorities listen to your voice πŸ˜‰...so many BUTS in my lifeπŸ˜•πŸ˜†makes a perfect confused soul like meπŸ˜†

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by egghatcher


i have to agree with jyoti on the following
falling in love with the same guy et al.. thats logic making way for la la land dream on event πŸ˜‰

Thats the only area where i m luckyπŸ˜ƒ

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by ani11


A marriage is not only the union of two people but of two families as well.
I think its very mature on ur part that u r thinking about the idea of adjusting in a Joint family(JF) before getting married because if u won't give it a thought right now it can not only cause a rift between the family members but among u and ur husband as well...

As far as i am concerned i have grown up in a nuclear family and prefer a nuclear family...
A Joint family has its own advantages but sometimes the rift and the disagreements between the family members nulls and voids all those advantages....
If the family members are in constant disagreement it has a negative affect on the kids growing up in that house hold...
I think a proper discussion with ur would be is in order now because this can be a major bone of contention between the two of u....

i agree with aniji.....................n i think ke shud talk to ur would be,n unhe seedhe seedhe saaf sabdo me bata de ke aap joint family me kuch time to adjust kar sakti hai but puri life nahi........agar aapke wud be aapko samjhte hai to wo aapki baat se zarur sehmat honge....abhi sehmat nahi bhi huwe to shadi ke baad dhere-dhere pyaar se unko is baat ka ahsaas kara sakti hai aap,plz negative na souchte huwe tactfully handle kare situation ko........n achha souchogi to aage achha hi hoga,be positive yaar,yeh bhi ho sakta hai ke aapke in-laws ki joint family bohat hi achhi rahe............i think ke saare negative thoughts ko alag rakh kar khushi-khushi shadi kare ..............in advance wish u a very happy married life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 16 years ago
if you wanna enjoy life in totality its joint family.. If you want just privacy and isolation its nuclear....

😊
Posted: 16 years ago
Nuclear family with option of joint family at reachable distance. Win-Win situation for everyone. πŸ˜›
Posted: 16 years ago
.Edited by ani11 - 14 years ago
Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by ani11


Thanks Mandy for agreeing ..

while ur thoughts are beautiful but i don't agree on the highlighted part....I think the time to talk is now and not after marriage in the hope that the husband would listen afterwards.....she has identified a major potential problem big enough to break her marriage apart and to ignore it and go ahead and marry would be risky as per my opinion..........some people can't be sweet talked......speaking from experience here...πŸ˜†...my hubby and i had talked on certain issues before we got married and he still stands by those(luckily they are not big enough to shake the foundation of our marriage)😳.......or maybe i am not enough of a sweet talker..πŸ˜•πŸ˜†.........someone has identified athe point is if  problem then why wait for tommorow to solve it......why not today especially if its something as delicate as a marriage....my good wishes are with jyoti too...😳

oh oh,experience hai to than u r right........n i agree on the red colored part......but here is one thing  she is saying na ke she fell in love with her wud be husband................ab jab love hai n adjustment ka soucha hai isliye maine aisa kaha tha.............kuch paane ke liye kuch khona bhi padta hai....joint families bhi achhi ho sakti hai,pehle se negative thought ke saath new relationship me enter karna thik to nahi na,at least ek chance to dena hi chahiye is this what i think...........

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