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Joint family or a Nuclear family (Page 10)

_Angie_ IF-Rockerz
_Angie_
_Angie_

Joined: 21 February 2008
Posts: 9888

Posted: 08 April 2009 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by pardeep1954

But sorry to say, while we are on the side of boy our thoughts are different as compared to the situation as would have been on the side of girl. Having two differant thought as per the situation directly indicates our double standards, hopefully this must be the reason also. We must think positively and have single thoughts for all the situations and there is a strong need to educate our upcoming girls, to brighten our future and save our ethics as a best solution. Only when our upcoming girls will have positive attitude, we can have better society.
I m not on the side of the boy , I m a girl myself LOL 
Actually I was only thinking about the lonely parents who sacrifice a lot to bring up their children, weather it B money, time, emotions, or ones comforts etc. To forsake them completely during their old age is unfair. Yes one does have ones career & ambition in life but one should try & accomodate ones parents too in the scheme . One cant just neglect them ! When a girl marries into a family she ought to think how her parents wud feel if placed in a similar situation as her parents in law.
 
pardeep1954 Newbie
pardeep1954
pardeep1954

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 9

Posted: 09 April 2009 at 2:39am | IP Logged

Thanks Angie, I think you have gone the right approach ofa family and social status, see there are two situations in which parents and children live seperately, one is in which son and daughter in law are forced by circumstances of service but live near to the parents by heart, whereas other is where they live seperately due to the willingness of the daughter in law, who by creat such an atmotsphere. Undoubtedly grandchildren in that family lacks of the love and affection of their grand parents also. What I think in the present days there is great need to educate our new upcoming women who are responsible for production of future of tommorow, otherwise this will be they people who suffer a lot. Children learns what they see, when they have seen that their mother did not cared her parents in laws, they will certainly follow the same making it more advance. No doubt people at that time will blame them, whereas they will not be liable for that situation, to avoid the scene we must try hard to ractify the same.

rogna IF-Rockerz
rogna
rogna

Joined: 30 November 2007
Posts: 5150

Posted: 10 April 2009 at 2:47am | IP Logged
many people now has adopted the lifestyle of nuclear family instead of a joint family as nowadays the family had become smaller and smaller. nowadays people also think more as an individualists rather than collectivists and support more of individualism rather than collectivism. living in a joint family with more than 20 family members is gonna be suffocating and there's gonna be a little privacy between the family members. a lot of confrontations and quarrel between brothers and sisters-in-law especially if the women of the family were the fussy ones and like to stick their nose where they don't belong. like to talk about the negativity and other people's weaknesses and gossip about unimportant stuffs. usually women also worried about the wealth that they or their husbands have. they worried what if their husbands do not receive enough or equal inheritance comparing to their brothers, how could their husbands' brothers' wives have more money than they are and the list goes on and on. joint family might still be popular in india but it is not popular any longer in other parts of the countries especially in the western societies. even china who was famous for patrilineal joint family had incredible amounts of decrease in the numbers of patrilineal joint family. joint family is just too troublesome, it is better to have a nuclear family and good relationships between brothers and sisters rather than joint family where the family live with one another under one roof yet there are so many problems and confrontations with one another. this will make the relationships with one another sour and unhealthy.
_Angie_ IF-Rockerz
_Angie_
_Angie_

Joined: 21 February 2008
Posts: 9888

Posted: 10 April 2009 at 8:41am | IP Logged
Adjusting in a family of 20 wud B quite a task !  Yes nuclear family does have the advantage of freedom of many of the problems cropping up in a jt family. But nuclear family should at least include the parents in laws ! U cant simply disown the very parents who brought up ur spouse. In fact i wud go further to say that a couple living in a nuclear set up without the grooms parents for what ever reason if the need arises it shud B ready to take care of the girls parents too esp in conditins of ill health or one parent dying & no one else to take care of the girls parents
pardeep1954 Newbie
pardeep1954
pardeep1954

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 9

Posted: 10 April 2009 at 9:11am | IP Logged
Thanks angie.4u  for your posotive attitude, in fact you have thoughts on this issue just similar to me. I wish you may have a successful life and strong healthy relationship in your in laws. You may find all the happiness on the earth and your family life may be symble and example for others. In fact i have also similar thoughts that elders must be given due regard and care, without considering the pooint wheather they belong to boy or to girl. Both of them have suffered similar difficulties in broght up issues of their ward. What wrong they have done in that case or if they got married  their child with you. If we honour and care them, we are not paying them by this something, rather making a path for us in future from our children.
_Angie_ IF-Rockerz
_Angie_
_Angie_

Joined: 21 February 2008
Posts: 9888

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 6:37am | IP Logged
Thanx for sharing my views pardeep . Yes U R absolutely right when U say that we set up an example for our next generation. Parents R the best role model for their children & nothing has a greater impact than teaching by own example .Smile

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