Joint family or a Nuclear family - Page 4

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by ani11


Thanks Mandy for agreeing ..

while ur thoughts are beautiful but i don't agree on the highlighted part....I think the time to talk is now and not after marriage in the hope that the husband would listen afterwards.....she has identified a major potential problem big enough to break her marriage apart and to ignore it and go ahead and marry would be risky as per my opinion..........some people can't be sweet talked......speaking from experience here...๐Ÿ˜†...my hubby and i had talked on certain issues before we got married and he still stands by those(luckily they are not big enough to shake the foundation of our marriage)๐Ÿ˜ณ.......or maybe i am not enough of a sweet talker..๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜†.........the point is if someone has identified a problem then why wait for tommorow to solve it......why not today especially if its something as delicate as a marriage....my good wishes are with jyoti too...๐Ÿ˜ณ

Ani and mcm226 thanks a lot for your wishes๐Ÿ˜ณ

and i agree with u Ani ,its very necessary to solve such delicate matters before marriage itself,provided he should not misunderstand me that i m trying to separate him from his family๐Ÿ˜•..i don't want to b termed as a homebreaker by his family...but anyways i hv the ability to adjust myself in a joint family(if no option is left๐Ÿ˜•) but mayb today's daily saas-bahu soaps r scaring me to hell๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜†...somwtimes i feel gharjamai is a better option๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‰

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by jyoti06


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Ani and mcm226 thanks a lot for your wishes๐Ÿ˜ณ

and i agree with u Ani ,its very necessary to solve such delicate matters before marriage itself,provided he should not misunderstand me that i m trying to separate him from his family๐Ÿ˜•..i don't want to b termed as a homebreaker by his family...but anyways i hv the ability to adjust myself in a joint family(if no option is left๐Ÿ˜•) but mayb today's daily saas-bahu soaps r scaring me to hell๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜†...somwtimes i feel gharjamai is a better option๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‰

sometimes?i always feel this๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†...........

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by mcm226


oh oh,experience hai to than u r right........n i agree on the red colored part......but here is one thing  she is saying na ke she fell in love with her wud be husband................ab jab love hai n adjustment ka soucha hai isliye maine aisa kaha tha.............kuch paane ke liye kuch khona bhi padta hai....joint families bhi achhi ho sakti hai,pehle se negative thought ke saath new relationship me enter karna thik to nahi na,at least ek chance to dena hi chahiye is this what i think...........

no i m not against joint family๐Ÿ˜ƒ..in fact i hv seen lots of domestic problems in a nuclear family where a person doesn't even get a moral support and thats why always liked the concept of joint family where u can share your views with each other,its just that going to a complete new environment which is alien to me is a bit scary feeling๐Ÿ˜•

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by egghatcher


joint family= marry in haste , repent at leisure ๐Ÿ˜‰
nuclear family = marry in haste , repent in haste ๐Ÿ˜›

in seriousness i wish all and sundry a very happy  life , married mated or single

and dont forget your rolodex of marriage counsellors and divorce lawyers and put them on display when visiting in-laws so they wont become outlaws ๐Ÿ˜†

Mayb that will b my next year resolution๐Ÿ˜†

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by egghatcher


this should be addressed under the thread  should children be spanked ๐Ÿ˜†

๐Ÿคฃ

Possibly that should be discussed in Kiranjit's thread..... When the "Sar-ka-taj" husband jee is going out of control in controlling his wife, Red flags are raising higher and its time to take action rather end up being dead

 And if someone foresees problems Before marriage. nib the evil in the bud!

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by salooni


just a humble aside
wouldnt it be better if we do not treat marriage in joint or nuclear family as one in shantiniketan?
As long as one keeps joys and sorrows under wrap ( avoid the temptation to run over for advice to an elder as long as it is possible ) the marriage has a great chance to work and flourish in years as you think of welcome bundle of additions
In Marathi they have a wonderful saying . "Jhakli Mooth savva lakha chi" .
Thank you all

 I am not marathi expert but I think you are saying "Bandh Muthi Sawa laakh ki" as in bury your problems under the carpet lest anyone sees it...

 All can I say is till how long? till you can't close it anymore due to severe athritis of the hand...๐Ÿ˜•

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by jyoti06


This is more of a decision that is driven by the women(atleast in my experience)

One should weigh the advantages vs Disadvantages. Everyone seems to be walking into a Joint family system with a fear of the already existing relations. Not all Joint families are as dysfunctional as the one's in the serials, not all are as conniving/ scheming as the one's showed in the serial.

If one shows the existing members due respect and makes a place for oneself, it can be a win-win.Individualism can be retained that way too.

It only starts becoming a problem if one of the party is only looking at the negatives of a relationship. Not all clashes are ego clashes.

In the end a joint family system is beneficial for the kids, Parents might have to make compromises to live in a JFS, but dont Parents always make sacrifices for their children?

If one decides to walk out of a JFS, they are bound by duty to create a similar environment for their children, A lot of times people fail in this and children pay the price

It is everyone's dream to have a dream house, but it is a choice whether you want people in the house or furniture

Posted: 16 years ago
Originally posted by sareg


This is more of a decision that is driven by the women(atleast in my experience)

One should weigh the advantages vs Disadvantages. Everyone seems to be walking into a Joint family system with a fear of the already existing relations. Not all Joint families are as dysfunctional as the one's in the serials, not all are as conniving/ scheming as the one's showed in the serial.

If one shows the existing members due respect and makes a place for oneself, it can be a win-win.Individualism can be retained that way too.

It only starts becoming a problem if one of the party is only looking at the negatives of a relationship. Not all clashes are ego clashes.

In the end a joint family system is beneficial for the kids, Parents might have to make compromises to live in a JFS, but dont Parents always make sacrifices for their children?

If one decides to walk out of a JFS, they are bound by duty to create a similar environment for their children, A lot of times people fail in this and children pay the price

It is everyone's dream to have a dream house, but it is a choice whether you want people in the house or furniture

๐Ÿ‘...........very well said......i agree with saregji......

Posted: 16 years ago
.Edited by ani11 - 14 years ago
Posted: 16 years ago

i think a family that has survived for long as an HUF or simply UF deserves a shake up with yet another married woman in its fold ..

wondering if people search can google thus and churn out spicy details on MIL FIL BIL SIL  so as to be prepared for war or peace a la tolstoyishtically ๐Ÿ˜†

sarva dokyawarun  gela๐Ÿ˜•..........plz explain this in simple words ๐Ÿ˜Š

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