Joint family or a Nuclear family - Page 2

This content was originally posted by: ChameliKaYaar

Thank you for all your eye openers.....Since this baalak still hasn't dabbled his hands and other thingies in the marital bliss...he is taking great lessons of life here... 😆

And now that we have had enuff of the debate on this topic shall we switch to the next topic which is Baal-Vivah? 😆

This content was originally posted by: raunaq

what is baal-vivah? vivah means marriage but what is baal vivah?

And Baal means Hair 🤣

Sorry Raunaqwa. I love your innocence. You always ask cute questions. I have noticed in all forums.

Baal Vivah means Child marriage.

This content was originally posted by: Maya_M

And Baal means Hair 🤣

Sorry Raunaqwa. I love your innocence. You always ask cute questions. I have noticed in all forums.

Baal Vivah means Child marriage.

This content was originally posted by: ChameliKaYaar

Well in my mind...we have 2 topics of debate....
1. Joint v./s nuclear family..
2. Baal Vivah....(16 years old and married 😆 😆 😆 )...

So which one you want me to debate first..... 😆 😆 😆

to b very frank i had a indirect baal-vivaah only😕😆..we got engaged when i was 12yrs old ...and thats another topic for debate that is it right for the parents to get your children engaged at such an early age just for the sake of your family parampara😡..but anyways i don't hv any complain because i fell in love with the same person when i was 16yrs old😆...see how  complicated my life is😆😕

This content was originally posted by: lighthouse

Joint family system vs. Nuclear family system

First of all Jyoti , is this LM or AM? coz if it is AM then I am confused how you agreed to it in the first place after knowing about your nuclear fam upbringing...

 Anyway it depends on what your husband to be wants... If he wants to stay in joint family then you are going to fight a losing battle...

 Most importantly you have to know and stick with what you want and decide to live your life...It is hard but one can adjust if the joint family is not typical like Kekta families...

 Expect tons of changes in your life after marriage either way....😉

it was arranged when i was 12😕...love happened at 16😳with the same person of course😉and now the worst phase that is marriage is happeneng😆...even though i prefer to b in a nuclear family anyday but i know at the end of the day my feelings will b supressed somewhereuntil and unless i start hen-pecking my fiance beforehand😉

This content was originally posted by: tania.ganguly

Gags,
Nice post.
My personal opinion.It takes a lot of adjusting for someone who has been raised in a nuclear family to adjust in a joint family.It takes a lot of understanding and lot of shutting up on opinions when you have to live in joint family.
Joint family has its own pros in offering support in times of sickness and adversities. But sometime joint families cause a lot of strife.
Based on my experience of living in a joint family for a year, I would prefer nuclear family any day.
And it matter of raising children, nuclear family any day.
I hope I haven't confused you enough.If I have let us take this offline.
Tisha di

the confusion in my mind occured just because i hv seen suffocation even in a nuclear family and u know what i mean,so mayb a joint family can b a welcoming change for me but again adjusting with your in-laws and at the same time keeping your self-esteem and individuality intact becomes a huge issue in a joint family...i guess i will hv to leave it on my destiny😆

This content was originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Jyoti welcome back to DM 😃
I think it really depends on the family itself! I think you can judge them based on how they live, how happy they are staying with each other, what your fiance's thoughts are so on and so forth. I am sure you had considered these elements before. If you feel you have questions, concerns, it will be great to discuss those before taking the big step. You do not wish to be judged as someone who is breaking up the family. The judgment can go against you for years to come. It is easy for me to tell you that nuclear sounds like a better option. yet, if you chose to marry someone from a joint family, it is for all of you to decide how compatible you are and why not and if not, what the options would be. Perhaps they are a happy joint family! Please find out before hand. 😳

Lowe,
qt di..

Subhadi,thats the exact think what was going on in my mind,i din't want to b termed as a homebreaker,tomorrow my mom-in-law should not say i took away their son from them;

its not that i don't want to stay in a joint family,i m basically scared to enter into a world which is compleltely alien to me😕

but yes i agree with u discussing it with my fiance will b the best option😃provided he understands my point of view and doesn't think otherwise😕

This content was originally posted by: egghatcher

  the thing about joint family is it is like a corporation ... you present a proposal on any matter it goes through several channels , hubby , MIL , interfering single sicko SIL etc and then comes back when you may not want to go ahead with the content of that proposal and the reet -rivaaz will kill you if you are not into such mock festivities .. STAY SINGLE 😆

see this is what is scaring me😆..everytime i give a proposal to my husband,...without the certification of the censor board heads😡,the proposal will not b passed and will become stagnent forever😕😆

This content was originally posted by: MNMS

Nuclear Family all the way!!

I have seen what can REALLY happen when a person who has lived all his life in a nuclear family.. and then joins a joint family: My sisters..

We are a nuclear family since loooong. And tell you what, its still much more time consuming to understand your parents, your siblings...and most importantly yourself..I really can't imagine how people adjust and get satisfied in a joint family where there is so much 🤢 type of things happening 24/7... 😕 😕 😕

Both my sisters didn't know the working and the gossip & politics & bickering and 🤢 things involved in joint families 😭 ... Very Very very very hard to adjust.. and then the family expects you to tolerate all this non-sense alone. 🤢My sisters did tolerate a hell! Its a huge terrible bargain.. I would NEVER EVER sacrifice myself, my ideologies, my thinking, my decisions and most importantly my Identity for the sake of joint family .. Call me self-centered, Call me westernized, Call me anything!! I don't care. But guys, its simply not worth it! I have seen it for my sisters.. Huge amount of self-sacrifice And i would sincerely advise anyone the same...NOT to go for joing families..Period!

These are my two cents 😊 I hold high respect for the views of other members.. please respect mine 😊

very well said👏i completely agree with u...the main problem of joint family is that every member of the parliament..oops i mean house😉,wants to outdo each other and in this game of one upmanship u loose your own self

and one more problem living in a joint family is that after u start your own family,your in-laws will force u to give more importance to your domestic life...in short leave your job,sit at home and nurture your kids😡thats all they want from a ghar ki bahu ..no matter how modern we become...and as a career-oriented girl ,i will never prefer that

so even i feel nuclear family is the best option but again in nuclear families we hv lots of domestic violence like a husband beating up his wife which can also happen in a joint family but there r people to support u in a joint family which is not the case in a nuclear family,where one has to overcome their problems single-handedly...so i think this confusion in my mind will always continue😕😆