Sher O Shayri

   

CaNt Sleep!!!!

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Oblivion

Newbie

Oblivion

Joined: 21 February 2007

Posts: 34

Posted: 03 April 2007 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
the precious thoughts you have given me
i always relish them and smile
i live those thoughts everyday
and continue to smile
in disbelief and disappointment

your memories bring tears down along with the smile
how i wish you were still mine
the words that dropped from your mouth
were like the petals falling from a rose
i can still remember them well
and continue to smile
in disbelief and disappointment

Your thoughts have disorganised my mind as such
cant think of anything else
even today;its one year after i lost you
still cant get any sleep .no way
thinking again of your precious thoughts
and continue to smile
in disbelief and disappointment

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datspreets

IF-Veteran Member

datspreets

I-F Crazy Creatives

Joined: 10 April 2005

Posts: 1745

Posted: 04 April 2007 at 1:33am | IP Logged
What struck me about this poem is how genuine it sounds, its not fake at all. I love the poetic tool of repetition that you've used here.
Great work!

amisra

IF-Dazzler

amisra

Joined: 12 July 2006

Posts: 3011

Posted: 04 April 2007 at 2:06am | IP Logged
I agree Preets, this is coming straight from the heart...really very touching!! Clap Clap Clap

Cheers,

Anjali

xy12

Goldie

xy12

Joined: 03 June 2005

Posts: 1422

Posted: 04 April 2007 at 2:17am | IP Logged
really touchy dear excellent dil se nikli hui


keep posting more love to read them Smile

Oblivion

Newbie

Oblivion

Joined: 21 February 2007

Posts: 34

Posted: 04 April 2007 at 5:00am | IP Logged
actually, this was posted in the memory of someone...

and i never intended to write a poem.. i just couldnt sleep that night , had immense feelings and i had to write to take them out...... it took just 2 mins to write my feelings down...... never edited it .......

amisra

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amisra

Joined: 12 July 2006

Posts: 3011

Posted: 04 April 2007 at 6:08am | IP Logged
It's still very beautiful Oblivion!! Feelings coming straight from the heart don't need any editing. They are a masterpiece in their own way! Clap Clap Clap

Cheers,

Anjali

Edited by amisra - 04 April 2007 at 6:08am

datspreets

IF-Veteran Member

datspreets

I-F Crazy Creatives

Joined: 10 April 2005

Posts: 1745

Posted: 05 April 2007 at 2:30am | IP Logged
^^Oh, i check out your blog, you've got some funny stuff there! LOL

*~Sapna~*

IF-Veteran Member

*~Sapna~*

Joined: 09 September 2004

Posts: 6550

Posted: 05 April 2007 at 9:15am | IP Logged
Clap very good... u r too good to write it in two mins.. Clap

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