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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Life at 16... Note on Page 34 - IMP!!!!!! (Page 31)

~Sirius*Ysh~ IF-Dazzler
~Sirius*Ysh~
~Sirius*Ysh~

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Posts: 2973

Posted: 24 June 2007 at 3:10am | IP Logged

Originally posted by xMarauderx

Wowww!!!1 I loved this chapter...esp the beach description..!!! Clap Clap Clap

She took in a deep breath as her feet slid into the first whispers of the sand.


I loved this line and as soon as I read it, I thought..I'm gonna quote it in my review LOL LOL LOL

I love the beach and any chapter located at the beach is gonna make me go 'wow' LOL LOL

It's nice to read how you cut from person to person and how both of them seek solace at the same place at the same time:early morning.

I like the change of POV so rapidly...even though the POV changes...the story moves on...with continuity [Ok that makes no sense to anyone except meStern Smile LOL]

But great chappy Clap Clap Clap

awww EmbarrassedEmbarrassed thankieee for the lovely review Embarrassed and yea u made all sense to me i tell u... to tell u the truth i wrote it in 10 minutes so that i can post something b4 ppl forget my story... but im so happy that u lyk it Embarrassed... wanted to elaborate on the beach more bt wil do in the nxt chapter Embarrassed

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~Sirius*Ysh~
~Sirius*Ysh~

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Posted: 24 June 2007 at 3:42am | IP Logged

Originally posted by nitu07

wow!!!!!! Clap this was a fantastic chapter...........the words u used were so ..u know it just made all the characters and the story alive......I loved each and every part of it.........
wow u rock as a writer..........hope I get to read next chapter soon Embarrassed

awww... thanks a lot!!!!! thanks for the compliment EmbarrassedEmbarrassed

nd sorry if im not putting all the answers in one post cos im too ill to do it Unhappy

and yea nitu ill get the nxt chapter done pretty soon Big smile

~Sirius*Ysh~ IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 June 2007 at 9:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rashmiiiHugHug

brilliant! that's all i can say ysh... sorry i took so long to comment... i've been
sooooo busy with college and this up coming wedding... love the way u've
written the chapter...


awwwwwHug itsh okie Big smile... u commented Hug... well wedding huh? ull b hving gr8 fun na :> ... tell me how it goes Embarrassed... nd meanwhile dunt forget FFO Big smile

Edited by ~Sirius*Ysh~ - 25 June 2007 at 9:30am
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Joined: 01 May 2007
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Posted: 25 June 2007 at 9:43am | IP Logged
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~Sirius*Ysh~ IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 June 2007 at 10:00am | IP Logged

Originally posted by uvcraziestfan

awwwwwwwwwBlushingbeachDay Dreaming Day Dreaming Day Dreaming   Day Dreaming
it was sucha butiful chappy..n u so nicely n correctly brought d emotions in it Blushingit was truly really very very goodClap n yah picture speaks thousand words Tongue so i used less words n more smileys Wink
shelly
n get well sooonHugHugm sick tooROFL

well i can guess y u used less words nd more smileys u lazyyy goosee!!!!!!!

thankie for reviewing Embarrassed.... i luv the beaqch nd so badly wanted my favie couple right der Day Dreaming dats y i put dat scene der Embarrassed

nd yea im all fine now Tongue nd ur shick too UnhappyUnhappyUnhappy..... awwwww get well soon [:DHugHugHug

Naughty_n_nice IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 12 August 2005
Posts: 9041

Posted: 27 June 2007 at 12:07pm | IP Logged

Oye, don't quote reviews separately please!!!

Andddd, lovely chapter.. Beach.. and the fact that the character names are rarely mentioned... COol!!!

Give me a decent sized chapter, and get a decent sized - on time review Big smile

Hug Get well, love you!
shriyaroxxx IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 09 October 2005
Posts: 2944

Posted: 29 June 2007 at 3:59am | IP Logged
yshie!!! itna chota chapter??? Angry
ur murder is now pakka unless u update quickly Wink
but great chapter... & continue soon Big smile

official blackmailer
nagging committee Wink
~Sirius*Ysh~ IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 15 July 2007 at 1:04am | IP Logged

yay! so so so so so sorry for the delay guys but well im here with another chapter and hope u guys like and reply Big smile

 

PART 11

 

(For some reasons that happen to involve a really cute and awesome guy I'm in love with called Charlie, Rhea's uncle's name has been changed from Charles to Sean)

 

"Rhea! Rhea, wake up! Robin will be here soon!"

 

Rhea grunted and pushed her pillow over her face. What a sentence to wake up to. Rhea will be here soon. Not only had she to wake up EARLY in the morning but also she had to take Ratty to meet her school mates.

 

"Rhea!" came her mothers voice and she knew that her mother was nearing her room. She groaned again and sat up on her bed, her face set to glare at her mother, to register her dislike. Her mother did come in but didn't look like she noticed her expression for she went all chirpy as she would early in the morning and walked out again. And Rhea's nose started to itch in the middle of it so she abandoned her expression all together as she walked into the toilet.

 

*~*

 

How was he going to break this news to his father? His father adored her. And now she was going to go away. It was an amazing thing! And he ought to be happy. But his father wouldn't be and he knew that so well. His father had never given her much of his time, though he had promised to. And that was why his parents had divorced. Because he had no time to devote to the family. But he had so many dreams for his daughter and now she was leaving him for Harvard. Ryan should have seen this coming because knowing Kathy she wouldn't settle for University of Westwood or someplace nearby in California. And well he needed some time alone with himself… how was he to tell his father making sure that his father was not more upset? As it is, business was giving him a lot of problems recently and he didn't want this one to land on his fathers head.

 

But that wasn't the only thing, he told himself. Ryan knew very well that it wasn't Kathy's leaving that would upset his father but the fact that she wouldn't be taking care of his business. And this worried Ryan even more now because if Kathy didn't take after their father, it would have to be him who would have to get into their business. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to live in his father's shadow and money forever…

 

Just as he was contemplating all this he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly and saw Alex standing behind him.

 

"Hey Ryan!" she said, giving him an unsure smile.

 

"What are you doing here?" he asked surprised, knowing very well that Alex hated the beach.

 

"I just… falt like it…" she said, coming around to flop down next to him. A gust of wind around them made her put her hands around her knees, an action which made her seem very ladylike. And Ryan just HAD to smile at that thought.

 

"What?" she asked crossly.

 

"You!" he answered.

 

"Well that's very comforting!" she said, releasing her knees to stretch her legs on the sand and leaned back to support herself on her hands. She turned her head slightly to the side so that she was looking at Ryan.

 

"What's wrong?" she asked.

 

"Nothing!" he said quickly. He didn't feel like telling anybody… not just yet.

 

"Suit yourself!" she shrugged and turned back to look at the ocean. "It all looks rather romantic, don't you think?" she asked after a momentary pause. Ryan had propped his hand up on his knee and was supporting his weight with the other.

 

"Did I hear Alex calling something romantic?" he asked incredulously.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry are you hard of hearing?" she shot back.

 

"Never mind!"  he grumbled, "Did you take some sort of a vow that you would make my life miserable from the crack of dawn or something?"

 

"Well excuse me if you want to be grumpy in such a lovely place!" she said, glaring at him and jumping up, "but I'm not going to let you spoil my mood!" She dusted the back of her legs off the sand. She was wearing a sleeveless black shirt that hugged her curves under the effect of the strong breeze. The ribbons of her Capri ends were trailing along the sand as she walked away since she hadn't bothered to tie them together. Her flaming red hair left a fiery trail as she stomped away.

 

*~*

 

Rhea dialed Hilly's number and prayed that she would pick up. So what if it was a Sunday morning? She had better be available! After 15 rings a groggy hello sounded through the earpiece.

 

"Great you're awake now. Look I want you to be here in another half an hour because that's when ratty is arriving and no I am NOT meeting her all by myself and also now that I have to show her around the place I will be stuck with her for the whole day which I don't plan to be and therefore you will have to get dressed and come right over to help me out!" and that was Rhea's one sentence in one breath. There was a pause at the other end after she had finished talking.

 

"Uhmm wrong number!" was all she heard before Hilly hung up on her. And that left rhea fuming. How rude! She dialed Hilly's number again and this time she picked it up within 2 rings.

 

"Any call before 10 on a Sunday morning, especially those that involve in me having to wake up, is a wrong number. Good night!" said Hilly in a mechanical voice, making it sound like a recorded message.

 

Rhea glared at the receiver in her hand. It made her feel so nice to be surrounded by such loyal friends!

 

*~*

 

Ryan watched her walk away with a vague emptiness in his heart and he did the first thing his instinct told him to do. Jump up and run to her. He caught up with her when she was halfway from where she had walked up to him.

 

"What?" she snapped when she saw him. and he was at a sudden loss of words, not knowing what to say.

 

"How did you come here?" he asked the first thing that popped into his head.

 

"Uh, Walk?" she replied raising her eyebrow at him.

 

"Well… do you need a ride home or something?" he offered, having no idea what or why he was saying.

 

Was Ryan trying to apologise? She half considered turning down his offer but decided she might as well accept it. She was feeling really nice today and she might as well be it.

 

"Sure!" she shrugged, "but after the sunrise!"

 

"Sunrise?" he asked.

 

"Oh you know, that thing that happens every morning before you wake up that makes it possible for us to live on this planet?"

 

"I know that!" he said glaring at her. He looked towards the horizon and saw the first few rays of the sun crack trough the clouds in the sky, the ones behind outlining the white, fluffy clouds. There was a breeze again that made Alex's hair fall out of its scrunchie. She removed her scrunchie from her hair and another gust of wind blew her hair right into Ryan's face. He turned his head angrily to yell at her but his words stopped on his lips. For he had no realized how close they had been standing until now… and this nearness made his heart race like mad. He realized that he had never actually seen her face before, not the way he was seeing it now.

 

He marveled at the change in her. Her eyes that used to be lined with heavy mascara and liner were not bereft of anything and he was able to see her true eye color… he had never realized that she had blue eyes… and her face sans makeup showed a new glow that day and the smile on her lips, subtle and so… inviting…

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