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A Thousand Mirrors (flash fiction) (Page 2)

Morgoth IF-Veteran Member
Morgoth
Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6832

Posted: 10 February 2007 at 4:43pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by datspreets

Originally posted by T.

I personally found this story much better than Lakshmi - plot-wise. I think you just need to tighten up the ending a bit for this one and it will be perfect :)


Now, that's what I had been looking for, a comment that'd help me grow. Tighten up the ending, does that mean i reduce the size? or don't make the inherent message so apparent, and let the reader decide what i intended to convey? 

Yup :)

 

Prenz~13 IF-Rockerz
Prenz~13
Prenz~13

Joined: 07 August 2005
Posts: 5966

Posted: 11 February 2007 at 9:53am | IP Logged
another beautiful story preeti di! Clap
i liked this one better than the one about lakshmi, coz i luved the way you conveyed the meaning out...
its beautiful! Clap
koolgirl88 Goldie
koolgirl88
koolgirl88

Joined: 23 January 2005
Posts: 1773

Posted: 25 February 2007 at 8:51am | IP Logged
Hm.. interesting. The ending confused me a bit though because she seems sad, and yet she's saying that the man is lying?

Overally though, I liked it. It was deep. Keep up the great work!

~Sunita~
angeliclooks_me IF-Dazzler
angeliclooks_me
angeliclooks_me

Joined: 03 September 2006
Posts: 2619

Posted: 05 March 2007 at 3:28am | IP Logged
dat was realli nice preeti di! Clap luvdd da way u brought out da meaning Smile Embarrassed Embarrassed

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