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Lakshmi (Flash Fiction/Surrogate Mother)

datspreets IF-Veteran Member
datspreets
datspreets

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Posts: 1745

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 12:04am | IP Logged
Wrote this flash fiction for a prompt on another site. :)

Kindly Read and Review.

Prompt: For $100,000 a woman in need of cash agrees to be the surrogate mother for a rich, childless couple.

----------------

Lakshmi

The $100,000 cheque flashed before my eyes for the nth time that day. The offer was too tempting. Besides, it was just a question of 9 months-for a childless couple-that'd pass in a jiffy!

The eyes of the wanna-be parents were beseeching. They were poor in Indian societal mindset-despite being rich in dollars -as they had no child. They were a humble couple, and seemed genuine in their word.

The wife would stay in India till I delivered their baby. I'd get my money as soon after. Then we'd part ways, they'd move back to the US, and I, back to nursing my ailing parents.

My parents resisted the idea, but I accepted their offer nonetheless. A little help for them would help my family in a big way, after all, medical bills are to be paid too!

That was about 9 months back.

Today as I lie, drained physically, the doctor breaks in the news, 'It's a daughter. Lakshmi has been born in your house!'

I smile weakly and reached out for the cheque. I felt selfish in accepting the money, and also regretted my decision, but the vivid expressions on the parents' faces told me that my decision was right!

At home, my parents were smiling too, though they never voiced their happiness. Mother got her cataract treated and dad could now afford his diabetes medicines.

Indeed Lakshmi had blessed two houses, though in different forms.

(238 words)
Lakshmi: Goddess of money/wealth.

Preeti Datar
4 Feb 2007.

Tearðrops Senior Member
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Posts: 833

Posted: 04 February 2007 at 12:45pm | IP Logged

Oh i did miss this story, glad you showed me

I loved this...

Originally posted by datspreets

Indeed Lakshmi had blessed two houses, though in different forms.

You have that way of making me expect some kind of disagreement/conflict etc just goes to show not all controversial things are bad in a way. Thanks for sharing!

datspreets IF-Veteran Member
datspreets
datspreets

I-F Crazy Creatives
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Posted: 05 February 2007 at 1:26am | IP Logged
^ I should say thanks for reading....someone who writes needs nothing more than response Smile

btw, that's my fav. line too.

Preeti
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Joined: 07 August 2005
Posts: 5966

Posted: 05 February 2007 at 3:01am | IP Logged
Clap Clap hey preeti di,i luved dis story...it sort of goes to show that u you dont jus need drama 2 put across your point. Smile it was beautiful... Clap Embarrassed
datspreets IF-Veteran Member
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Posted: 05 February 2007 at 7:38am | IP Logged
Hey thanks Prerna, my newest reader :)
coolniyu IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 27 July 2005
Posts: 3953

Posted: 05 February 2007 at 10:02am | IP Logged
wow..very beautifully written..a very simple straightfoward story yet u get the point across..keep it up!! ClapSmileHug
datspreets IF-Veteran Member
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Posted: 06 February 2007 at 9:25am | IP Logged
Thanks coolniyu for reading both my stories :D
*~Sapna~* IF-Veteran Member
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Joined: 09 September 2004
Posts: 6550

Posted: 06 February 2007 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
there I missed it again Cry ohh well I finally  read it...as usual all I can say is that u r very creative Preets...keep writing yaar...would love to read more Clap

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