Karam Apnaa Apnaa
Karam Apnaa Apnaa

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fanfic: flirty beginning

lily_pik Groupbie
lily_pik
lily_pik

Joined: 05 December 2006
Posts: 80

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 10:08am | IP Logged

I have decided to start a fan fic...it will be 5 episodes long and I have tried to recreate a few of the characters to bring some life back into this drama! please leave me ur comments and suggestions and if it's really bad let me kno...please bear in mind this is my first attempt!

Introduction

The setting is alok je's house which is completely covered in lights and general wedding decorations. Fireworks are going off into an inky black sky and their are children playing everywhere, women dressed in sparkling sarees, men tryiong to help each other with their head pieces and plates upon plates off mittiy going around. This is the place to be!

 

From around the corner three silver saloon cars come bearing the licences plates of KAPOOR 1, 2, 3 . From these vehicles Mahen and his family descend. A smiling Nikhila, happy Mahen, disgusted Maya and Palek, dadi and dadu and lastly Vivan comes out followed by a disgruntled Shiv in a black achkun.

Shiv: maa, yay kya aap nay mujko pehnaydiya? mujhe to saas bhi nihi ara ha hai..aur yay kya place hai? aap ko maluum bhi tah jay aaj mayray dost ka bday tha aur aap phir bhi mujhe iss gaun may lakir ay!!  He looks angriliy at his mother. Nikhila had forced her son to come along as it had been a long time since he had been out with his family due to constant partying so it was time he learnt family values she felt. Nikhila smiles pointedly at Shiv and they all head towards the entrance of Alok je's home.

After being greeted by Alok je who say's thank you for attending my niece's wedding the Kapoor family mingle in with guests. Vivan points out Kaya to Shiv exclaiming that he didn't know pretty girls lived in such little corners off the world. Shiv tells him to get a grip and says that there is no such girl at this event, he tells vivan that girls just powder and flirt, but natural beauty is very rare and it would not be found it such a dusty place. Vivan laughs at Shivs scowling face as girls giggle and run past them. He turns the other way. After a few moments Shiv and Vivan return to Nikhilas side.

Shiv: mom i'm bored! yay kya party hai, mujhe gusa ara ha hai! may garee main baytnay ja ra ha houn....yaha mayray standard ka koi nahi hain.  Shiv storms off not realising a girl has heard all his comments. Nikhila tells him to wait as he must meet alok je's family before he goes to sulk. She exclaims that he has not even met alok je's daughters yet. Shiv starts to grunt that he desn't need to see anyone, what would he have to say to those backward minded, traditional tea making girls who have no opinion or strength and long to marry so they can become workers for the rest of their life!!! He tries to undo the button of his auchkan as he speaks making a rather comic figure as he fidgets like a five year old child. He whirls around knocking a child to his feet, he instantly feels guilty leaning down to pick the small child up. As he stands he raises his gaze to see a figure dressed in cerise pink and orange glide down the stairs. Her face beams like a moon, her bangles clink gently, her smile is cheeky and innocent all at once. She has a light bounce that exerts her youth and bubbly persona. Shiv stands mesmerised by her twinkling eyes, sonk pink lips and willow figure. Her hair cascades as she sees the fallen child and quickly goes to help him. As she leans down her hair blows into Shiv's face. He's mesmerised by the feel of silk. He suddenly gets annoyed, why was he thinking like this? he didn't go for tea making types, he spins around in fury accidently catching gauris palu in his arm. He watches as she unwinds her dupaata and as she gazes up she looks into his eyes and Shiv is shocked to see the same annoyance he originally felt glinting back in her eyes........ to be continued .....let me kno wat u think and excuse crappy hindi!!!

 

love lily_pik

The following 5 member(s) liked the above post:

shiningstar47static_chaos23lil_desi_goddesKHJLMe_Anonymous

jiya imdad Goldie
jiya imdad
jiya imdad

Joined: 07 December 2006
Posts: 1517

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 10:20am | IP Logged
it's interesting Tongue
plz continue
fudge_brownie0 Goldie
fudge_brownie0
fudge_brownie0

Joined: 30 January 2007
Posts: 1061

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 10:38am | IP Logged
nice. please continue! Embarrassed
        _-Sana
heartbreakkid§ Senior Member
heartbreakkid§
heartbreakkid§

Joined: 20 November 2006
Posts: 448

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 11:03am | IP Logged
nice beginning plz continue
pritig Senior Member
pritig
pritig

Joined: 18 April 2006
Posts: 841

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 12:43pm | IP Logged
nice!! Clap Clap plz cont!! Smile
Iqbaladdict IF-Dazzler
Iqbaladdict
Iqbaladdict

Joined: 16 November 2006
Posts: 2648

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
nice one, very good choice of words, Gauri seems innocent yet strong, just the way i like it.
crystalclear Goldie
crystalclear
crystalclear

Joined: 14 March 2006
Posts: 1008

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 4:46pm | IP Logged
very nice plz cont
static_chaos23 Senior Member
static_chaos23
static_chaos23

Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 367

Posted: 02 February 2007 at 5:00pm | IP Logged
gr8 start pls continue soon

ur ff is interesting

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