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Arranged Marriages

Poll Question: Do u think that marriages should be arranged?

Poll Choice Votes Poll Statistics
20 [34.48%]
21 [36.21%]
15 [25.86%]
1 [1.72%]
1 [1.72%]
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asianpride05

Goldie

asianpride05

Joined: 08 April 2005

Posts: 1757

Posted: 08 July 2005 at 10:39am | IP Logged

Hi

Please vote on ur opinion on whether marriages should be arranged...

I think NO because what is a marriage withoout love and knowledge....If u dont know the person then what's the point and also if u don't love the person what is the point of a marriage...It then all becomes fake like a scam...

Ur views,

asianpride05

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sowmyaa

IF-Dazzler

sowmyaa

Joined: 23 August 2004

Posts: 3658

Posted: 08 July 2005 at 11:21am | IP Logged
I think arrange marriages and love marriages are both good depending upon individual's culture, belief, expectations, values, choice whatever you call. Arrange marriages are part of Indian tradition since years and I don't find anything wrong with that. Girls in India are usually brought-up with the environment of arrange marriages and they are prepared for it when they are ready to get married. I don't see anything wrong with this tradition. If you see in western countries there are also upto certain extend arranged dates. Your friend, neighbors, parents, cousins, etc. introduce to this person. Ofcourse, not like India though. You are right there is no love in the beginning. It is more of respect in the beginning, but then eventually after year or so you tend to fall in love with all the sweet moments and gestures from your opposite partner.

According to survey around 92% more more are arrange marriages in India. In most cases girls nowadays are not forced to marry a guy or vice a versa. They meet, talk, their family are with similar background, they may meet second time and then they decide to get married. The difference here is they don't have initial love, they don't have physical relationship, they don't stay together. But love does follow after marriage in most of the cases. But then there are exception that relation does not work out in arrange and also in love marriages. Infact, there are less breaking up in arrange marriages than in love according to survey.

Our culture is very different from western culture and so are our traditions. It totally depends upon what individual want. Mine was an arrange marriage and that was something I wanted to. My parents never asked me to have arrange marriage (AM). But I always wanted to have one 'coz it made my parents happy and not only that they are the best person I know who will find the best mate for me. They know me since birth, they know my lifestyle and they won't introduce me to someone totally out of the way.

Now, love is also very beautiful thing. Its really nice to fall in love and then end up spending your life with that person. It's just two different way to find your soul mate.

AASHISH_IN

Goldie

AASHISH_IN

Joined: 14 October 2004

Posts: 1075

Posted: 09 July 2005 at 8:18am | IP Logged

Originally posted by bgdesai

I think arrange marriages and love marriages are both good depending upon individual's culture, belief, expectations, values, choice whatever you call. Arrange marriages are part of Indian tradition since years and I don't find anything wrong with that. Girls in India are usually brought-up with the environment of arrange marriages and they are prepared for it when they are ready to get married. I don't see anything wrong with this tradition. If you see in western countries there are also upto certain extend arranged dates. Your friend, neighbors, parents, cousins, etc. introduce to this person. Ofcourse, not like India though. You are right there is no love in the beginning. It is more of respect in the beginning, but then eventually after year or so you tend to fall in love with all the sweet moments and gestures from your opposite partner.

According to survey around 92% more more are arrange marriages in India. In most cases girls nowadays are not forced to marry a guy or vice a versa. They meet, talk, their family are with similar background, they may meet second time and then they decide to get married. The difference here is they don't have initial love, they don't have physical relationship, they don't stay together. But love does follow after marriage in most of the cases. But then there are exception that relation does not work out in arrange and also in love marriages. Infact, there are less breaking up in arrange marriages than in love according to survey.

Our culture is very different from western culture and so are our traditions. It totally depends upon what individual want. Mine was an arrange marriage and that was something I wanted to. My parents never asked me to have arrange marriage (AM). But I always wanted to have one 'coz it made my parents happy and not only that they are the best person I know who will find the best mate for me. They know me since birth, they know my lifestyle and they won't introduce me to someone totally out of the way.

Now, love is also very beautiful thing. Its really nice to fall in love and then end up spending your life with that person. It's just two different way to find your soul mate.

I agree with u at all!Smile  

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

IF-Sizzlerz

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

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Joined: 20 October 2004

Posts: 11310

Posted: 09 July 2005 at 12:16pm | IP Logged

well said bg............................i dunno wat 2 say now but yea i agree wif u cuz i fink aranged marrieage iz better den luv. cuz our parentz noe us better n sumtymez v fink v luv da person but itz jus lust n it wearz off n dat marrigaw iz more likely 2 end

usachick821

Goldie

usachick821

Joined: 02 May 2005

Posts: 1034

Posted: 09 July 2005 at 4:39pm | IP Logged

i have to agree with TV maniac, just because something has been followed for centuries doesnt always make it right. your parents do know how u act and behave, but matching u up with someone who is extremely similar to u may not always be the best thing. And ofcourse there are preferences that our parents dont know we have or like.

Having the same social status and behavior doesnt always lead to a prosperous marraige life. Sure there are disadvantages in love marraiges but there are also many advantages that u dont recieve in an arranged marraige. 

I'm not saying that arranged marraige is a bad thing, but i dont think girls should grow up expecting their parents to match them up with a boy who is suitable for her. In western society, if there ever was an arranged marraige and the two partners did not like each other then they would get divorced. but in india, where after divorce a woman has no life, because society wont let her remarry because she has lost the most "valuable gift" a.k.a. her virginity. So the girl fears that no matter what, and  no matter how much she dislikes her husband, she cannot let him go because she knows that society will not accept her back as she was before marraige. 

In a love marraige, many problems can arise, such as social standing and each partner's personal income BUT i think that the marraige would have a better success rate because atleast before making the commitment of marraige, the two people understand each other's needs and feelings, but in arranged marraiges it could take years to do so, and it isnt necessary that after marraige that the girl will fall in love with her husband, and she will spend her entire life wondering why she can't and what a mistake she has made.

Some people like the idea of an arranged marraige, and i am fine with that, but i do think that love marraiges are better in comparison to arranged marraiges.

sowmyaa

IF-Dazzler

sowmyaa

Joined: 23 August 2004

Posts: 3658

Posted: 09 July 2005 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tvmaniac


I disagree with the concept of arranged marraige. Just because
something is followed by many people , or from a long period of time or
by important people it cannot be concidered as right.

What is arranged marraige? Where the guy looks at the swelled up bosom
& the girl looks at the swelled up wallet. Its like a cattle market
where pairs are made based on their features.

Its odd to say the least to spend your whole life with a person whom
you didnt know at all , didnt care for forget falling in love.

No one in this world understands himeself better than himself ,
leave sentiments aside & the hindi movie melodrama in the cinema
halls.

The point i want to make is - If you are in love in someone then go ahead & let you parents know.

Arranged marraige is nothing but deranged marraige.






It is lot more than just tradition from years. I am not saying that you have to follow traditions 'coz everyone is doine. You cannot follow group blindy. Arrange marriages are lot more than girls looks and sweeled up wallets of guy. It is bond between two familes and trust. You discuss lot more than just seeing girls face or guy's wallet. You also discuss about future plans and what guy/girl is looking in their better half as a life partner. When you are ready to get married I assume plp are "matured" enough to have a picture of their life partner in their mind. Like what they want their better half to be. What kind of person you are looking for. C'mon even in arrange marriage if you meet person for couple hours for couple times you can decide if your frequecy matches or not or if this is the person you want to be with. And culture framework also play a mojor role. If your parents had a love marriage and you were taught growing up that you will fall in love with someone and get married its hard to have love marriage, but you were raised by plp around you saying that you will be introduced to guy some day and have a arrange marriage its nothing unusual to you. It is just two different way to look at. I am also in favor of love marriage, but neither am I against love marriage. It's upto individual as to how their mind set is. For me, I have always kept my mind open for all possibilites. There should be no strong yes or no strong NO. Depends upon situation and person you are introduced to.

I think it was romantic in a way. I didn't knew my husband before marriage then we got married and we were staying together everyday with a stranger. then you kind of fall in love with that stranger ...I find it adventurous and romantic. !!!

Also, like usachick said, that parents not always know your preferences etc. thats what I am saying..arrange marriages are communication between paretns too. for me it was easy 'coz my mom has always been my best friend.. i had always made her aware of my choice.... like i dont want to marry from someone from our cast (mine was arrange marriage but intercast), i dont want to marry someone who dont let me study after marriage and who wont let me work after marriage, and trus me i told all this things to my husband before marriage when we met for first time. its like you have to let plp know what you want and when you meet guy and talk for hrs. you know if he has what ur looking for.

Edited by bgdesai - 09 July 2005 at 10:09pm

cRaZyGrL192

Senior Member

cRaZyGrL192

Joined: 02 July 2005

Posts: 597

Posted: 10 July 2005 at 12:40am | IP Logged

well it kinda depends arranged marriges where ur parents find a guy u might him once and then get married r wrong. but like wen ur parents find a guy u meet for atleast 10 months and itz ur choice if u get married those r'ent that bad!!!

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

IF-Sizzlerz

~LiL*PrInCeZ~

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Joined: 20 October 2004

Posts: 11310

Posted: 10 July 2005 at 12:49am | IP Logged
yea i c tvmaniacz pov..............but i guess it depeendz more on each specific case.............if u luv sum1 u shud tell ur rentz n not get married 2 sum1 else.................."aranged marriage" iznt jus a trade based on pplz status or education or beauty etc.............it shud b where da elderz find a guy/grl 4 der kid dat suitz der requirementz den da grl n guy shud get 2 noe e/o n if dey wanna get married gr8 if not oh well...........next............dat waii both da parentz n da kidz r happy

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