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My Fanfic-Uncontrollable Emotionspt14pg18

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drymaple

Senior Member

drymaple

Joined: 07 December 2006

Posts: 516

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 3:08am | IP Logged

Here goes my fanfic...plz comment even if you don't like itCry 

its a bit long though...excitement mein bahaut likh dalaEmbarrassed LOL

                                                   Uncontrollable Emotions

 

The morning was kissing the curtains that stopped it from entering the room, where Naina was sleeping peacefully beneath several folds of soft cotton. Her long hair made a mess of her pillow, her slim frame curved into a bow…she slept like a child...silent and deep, she made practically no sound at all. It looked like she was deeply engrossed in a dream, which had captured her senses completely.

                                          "I don't know what to say…I am lost Naina…I can't come out of my guilt"

Naina stood silently looking down, trying to find something to look at, trying to figure out how to react to all this. "He names it as guilt???!!" she thought…fighting back a tear.

"But I can't hold it back anymore…even though it is not correct…"

Naina sensed his coming near to her…she took a step back…

"No…don't." he said coming nearer till he reached a distance where she could feel his breathing. He held her face in both hands and softly forced her to look at him…which she couldn't…she closed her eyes …afraid to look at the person…she loved so much.

One large drop of tear rolled down her cheek…He whispered to her closed eyes "you look beautiful when you cry…" and kissed the eye which had shed that pretty tear.

"After so many days …I can gather the strength to tell you this…Naina Singh ahluwalia…I am proud to say that I am in---- " which was cut short by a loud knock at the door…

Naina's heart that was beating fast…stopped suddenly when she realized what was happening…she broke away from him.

He was shaken, first the academy and now his fate is stopping him from doing what he always wanted to do. He glanced at Naina who was looking away from him.

"Come in"

Maj. Nair entered the room…with a faint amusement on his face. He looked at Naina and to Him and said, "Congratulations Capt Shekhawat, You have been promoted. The Army is thankful to you…because of you Navin Singh Ahluwalia is proved not only a traitor, but also a murderer and the army regrets that you faced such humiliation because of a false rumour about your love affair and is ready to take back what it said about you. You can collect your promotion order from Brig. Chandok" 

 

"Nooooooooo!!" Naina got up…her hands clutching her head tightly, "NOOO!!" she cried out and ran towards the window…parting the curtains with force. "You can't do this to me…never…"

"Yudi!… Yudi….! Yudi!"  Cheered, hundreds of excited people trying to have a glance of their favourite contender.

It was a large boxing ring…in which a very large man was standing to get his hands on this so called champion.

Yudi entered…and the moment he did …girls screamed…snaps were taken…whistles were blown. Every one wanted to have a look at the handsome, muscular…and brown eyed Yaduvan Sahani…. Lieutenant Yaduvan Sahani.

The large man sneered at Yudi and the audience. Yudi looked around and waved. The referee called both of them and asked them to exchange friendly gestures. Yudi and the man punched softly on each of their shoulders. The large man laughed at Yudi "You look like a Pup!!"  To which Yudi replied "thanks… You are going to be one"

The referee blew a whistle.

The match started…

The large man tried to punch Yudi…Yudi dodged. The large man tried another…which again was dodged by Yudi. "Is this your best?" asked Yudi sarcastically. "Shut up Kid!"

shouted the man And aimed a hook at side of Yudi's head and hit him hard. Yudi jerked backwards spurting out blood from his mouth. "Aha!" shouted the large man amused. "Good!" answered Yudi, wiping the blood and gestured the large man to come and hit him again. The man got mad at Yudi and aimed another powerful punch, which Yudi dodged and Punched him hard and then knocked a Jab and punched again. The man fell backwards on the floor of the Ring. For a moment he didn't speak or stir. And last he got up, hardly able to stand. But still ran towards Yudi…yelling…as if to use his last ounce of power. And tried to punch…Yudi caught hold of his gloved hand with his left hand and Punched him with his right one. "So long Pup!" said Yudi smiling his way through victory.

Yudi won.

 

(some hours later)

"Ahhh! Stop doing that mom!" cried Yudi.

"Uff! Kitni baar kahoon yeh boxing chod de…hai mera beta..kitne bedardi se pita hai us kalmuhe ne… tu agar yeh sab band nahi karega main tere papa se kehdoongi"

"no mom!" Stood up Yudi…looking at her with a look of horror. "kya mom! I have just come from the valley..for a holiday and you want me not to do something which I am starting to enjoy immensely?"

"chup kar!, now come here I haven't finished bandaging you…" she went on bandaging applying the antiseptic at the wrong places and yudi responding to these by shouting and crying.

"Yudi…teri behen ki shaadi hone waali hai…tujhe yaad hai na…?"

Yudi gave her a suspicious look,wondering that why his mom is asking him such a stupid question. "haan….kya hua?"

"her fiance wants you to accompany them to Shimla…and I have agreed without asking you.."

Yudi looked angrily at his mother but instead found her mother smiling foolishly at him, pleading him to agree too.

"don't look at me like that…when do I have to go?" enquired Yudi, sounding cross.

"tomorrow morning"

"what!"

"please beta"

"fine!"

"Now I have to pack my bags now!"

"errr…I have packed them already"

"mom!!!!!????!!!"

"ab jaa soja…goodnight beta" said his mom wanting to run away as fast as she can and shut the door behind her.

Yudi stared at the door. "I had to fight another match tomorrow…damn!...I lost another chance to prove something.."

 ****************************************************** ************

i will write about the navin case later in my fanfic..Smile

Edited by drymaple - 02 April 2007 at 4:43am

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

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drymaple

Senior Member

drymaple

Joined: 07 December 2006

Posts: 516

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 3:08am | IP Logged
howz it? Smile Confused

sanyamalhotra

Goldie

sanyamalhotra

Joined: 06 February 2006

Posts: 2275

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 3:17am | IP Logged
Start is definitely very guuuud Dear!!!!Bt do 1 thing....hold onto ur excitement so dat u write long parts every time....D longer d better!!!
Post ur nxt part sooon!!!

Prenz~13

IF-Rockerz

Prenz~13

Joined: 07 August 2005

Posts: 5966

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 4:08am | IP Logged
Clap Clap Clap gr888 work devu Big smile (i hope its ok if i call u dat.. Smile )
i luved it...n m sply wanting 2 no more bout dat dream of nainas... Embarrassed
its a gr88 start Clap ..do continue fast Embarrassed ...n bout da long parts...jus keep dem cumin nice n long jus like dis..!! Tongue Big smile

Swapna-Mobile

IF-Dazzler

Swapna-Mobile

Joined: 03 February 2006

Posts: 3747

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 4:15am | IP Logged
Awesome yaar devyani Clap ...its awesome...nice to c yudi confident...differnt from his conphoosed image Wink
Swapna-mobile Embarrassed

angeliclooks_me

IF-Dazzler

angeliclooks_me

Joined: 03 September 2006

Posts: 2619

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 4:36am | IP Logged
dat was awesome devu dear!! Clap plzzzz do continu sooooon! Clap

lrl rocks

IF-Rockerz

lrl rocks

Joined: 13 November 2006

Posts: 7779

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 4:43am | IP Logged
its awesome davyani Clap Clap Clap

drymaple

Senior Member

drymaple

Joined: 07 December 2006

Posts: 516

Posted: 15 January 2007 at 5:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sanya

Start is definitely very guuuud Dear!!!!Bt do 1 thing....hold onto ur excitement so dat u write long parts every time....D longer d better!!!
Post ur nxt part sooon!!!

thank you thank you!!!! Smile i am glad !! Embarrassed

Originally posted by coolgirl_13

Clap Clap Clap gr888 work devu Big smile(i hope its ok if i call u dat..Smile)
i luved it...n m sply wanting 2 no more bout dat dream of nainas... Embarrassed   
its a gr88 start Clap Clap Clap..do continue fast Embarrassed...n bout da long parts...jus keep dem cumin nice n long jus like dis..!! Tongue Big smile

thank uuuuuuuu prerna!!... Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed i am more than happy to get comments from a super-fanfic writer! Embarrassed Embarrassed its completely okay..if you call me devu...my friends often call me that! Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed
thanks thanks thanks! Embarrassed   

Originally posted by sweetncute

Awesome yaar devyani Clap...its awesome...nice to c yudi confident...differnt from his conphoosed image Wink           
Swapna-mobile Embarrassed   

thank you swapna! Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassedyou guys write awesome! Smile ...main toh bas aise hi... actually i wanted Yudi to be a confident guy Embarrassed Embarrassed atleast after yrs from now.. Embarrassed Embarrassed
thanks truckloads! Embarrassed


Originally posted by angeliclooks_me

dat was awesome devu dear!! Clap plzzzz do continu sooooon! Clap

thanks for your lovely comments!!! now i am feeling a bit confident about my writing Embarrassed
i will continue soon!!... Tongue Smile

Originally posted by lrl rocks

its awesome davyani Clap Clap Clap

thankssssssss!!! Smile Smile thank you for liking it!!! Embarrassed i will post the next part sooooooon!! Embarrassed Embarrassed Smile

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