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FF: Two Breaths Apart

soni595 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 26 December 2006 at 8:58pm | IP Logged

Here's my small try at a fan fiction of BMTD. Hope it's interesting enough for you all to read past the first two sentences!

 

Two Breath's Apart - Part One

Banoo Mein Teri Dulhan...Vidya's promise and Sagar's stubborness...

Sypnosis... This fan fiction revolves around the differences between Sagar and Vidya's thoughts. After Sagar recovered from his illness, although he remembered what Vidya has done for him so far, he feels a sort of detachment from her way of living, dressing style and values. Being a modern guy, a go gettter, and a whole lot of arrogance to boast, he considered himself no match to the meek, simple and moralistic Vidya. Although, Sagar would have prefered to divorce Vidya as soon as possible, his father's will spoke otherwise. His father's will stated that if Sagar and Vidya divorce within in a year, all their ancestral property, family business, and lands, would ultimately be given to a trust. Since, there were still six months remaining for a year to be completed, Sagar decided to stay with Vidya for the remaining six months. The story now begins...

 

 

Everyone had by now disambeled and gone to their individual rooms, but Vidya remained there. She was still in paralyzed shock, such pain pierced her heart, that even tears failed to express how she really felt. She clutched the wall for support, and slipped to the ground in the now darkened hallway. She cried and cried and thought back to the words Sagar had uttered an hour ago.

 

 

"Vakhil saab, aap yeh kya kerhe hai? aap yeh kehre hai, ki mujhe isse...pointing towards Vidya "isse gawaar ke saath rehena padega..? Aree mujhe to abhi yakeen nahi araha hai, ki meri iske saath shaadi huwi hai." Sagar's mom tries to calm him down "par bete tum nahi jaante ki Vidya ne tumhareliye kitna kuch kiya hai, aur to aur, tumhare teek hona bhi usike karan hai."  Sagar replies angrily "maa, mai kuch nahi jaanta, haan kiya hoga issne do chaar kaam mere kaathir, par mera teek hona Sindoora di aur aapke prathna ka asar tha...aur kuch nahi.."  

 

 

Vidya talks to herself "hum sab kuch bardasht karchuke hai, Sindoora didi ki nafarat, Harsh ki kharaab neeyat, chachi ke taane par yeh kaise hum bardasht kare, ke jisse hum sabse zyada chahte hai, wahi hum ko pasand nahi karte hain, humara to mann karta hai ki abhi yaha se chale jaaye, par inko khushi dena ka moka hum kaise gavaa sakte hain, par hum bhi apne shambhu naath se vaada karte hain, agar humne apko ine che mahino humare pyaar ka ehsaas nahi deeladiya na, to hum yaha se chale jaayenge, aur phir kabhi bhi yaha mudkar nahi dekhenge.." Vidya wipes off her tears with a new ray of confidence in her, and walks into hers and Sagar's room...

 

Vidya walks into the room, to find Sagar fast asleep. She watches him sleep peacefully, with a smile playing on her lips all the while. As she looks on, she remembers how Sagar used to sleep holding her. Vidya drifts out of her memories and gets ready to sleep.  Since, the lights are turned off in the room, and the only source of light being the moonlight, Vidya grips her way to the right side of the bed, but oh...ouch...BANG...she accidently hits a vase on the bedside table...with a jerk Sagar wakes up alarmed...He switches on his lamp and turns to look at a scared Vidya hurriedly picking up shards of glass.

 

Sagar grumpily tells her"Yeh sab kya thamasha laga raka hai? tumhe dikhayi nahi detha ki mai sohra tha?"  And then irritatedely stares as Vidya cleans up and sits on the other side of the bed about to lie down...and makes a face "tum...yaha sou gi ab?

 

To be continued...

 

Keep smiling....

Love

Soni



Edited by soni595 - 11 May 2007 at 11:24am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

vsandhu05

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Posted: 26 December 2006 at 9:12pm | IP Logged
Lovely Soni...really talented...look forward to reading more...:)
Nabihah IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 26 December 2006 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
breathless!! beuatiful!! just too gud !! u r really talented Clap
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Posted: 26 December 2006 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
WOW! this is great...very talented u r Embarrassed
soni595 IF-Sizzlerz
soni595
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Posted: 26 December 2006 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
Aww...thank you guys Embarrassed I feel like flying now, will write the next part soon, maybe tonight or tomorrow!

Keep smiling...
Love
Soni
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Posted: 27 December 2006 at 4:24am | IP Logged
The way you describe the character's feelings is VERY good! Clap Clap
DeepaliC Goldie
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Posted: 27 December 2006 at 9:21am | IP Logged
wow that was a great start! cont soon!
soni595 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 27 December 2006 at 5:02pm | IP Logged

Part Two - Two Breath's Apart

Sagar grumpily tells her "Yeh sab kya thamasha laga raka hai? tumhe dikhayi nahi detha ki mai sohra tha?" And then irritatedely stares as Vidya cleans up and sits on the other side of the bed about to lie down...and makes a face "tum...yaha sou gi ab?

Vidya looks at Sagar as if she had just been slapped. She could clearly read his expressions, that spoke unsaid words, that is Sagar didn't like the fact that she was sleeping in "his" bed. Vidya closes her eyes for a second to shun out the tears peeping through her eyes...And gets up and says "woh mai bas yeh takiya lehri thi, kyunki..kyunki mujhe neeche sone ki adat jo hai"
She then hurriedly places the pillow on the floor, and lies down, and turns away from Sagar, letting her heart and eyes flow in a river of tears...Sagar merely switches of the light and goes to sleep, without a word, without a second glance. The night sure had become darker as the moon was being overshadowed by threatening dark clouds...but the sun always rises after every dark night...

Vidya wakes up early the next morning as usual, takes a shower, and comes out wearing a pink saree. She notices Sagar still sleeping in a very deep sleep, and decides not to wake him up and proceeds to go do her daily pooja. As soon as she begins singing the aarti in her beautiful voice, everyone comes down for the aarti. Everyone besides Sagar, who was still sleeping. Vidya offers aarti to everyone, and is a tad bit sad, that Sagar wasn't present.

She walks back into the room, and stands by the door. He looked as innocent as a small child when he was sleeping. Vidya places the aarti thaali on the bedside table, and very gently, waves her hand over Sagar's head, and is lost in her thoughts...When "tum...kya karahi ho?" Vidya drifts out her thoughts, and with a slight fear edged in her voice replies "jee...mai woh aarti laayi..." Sagar doesn't let her continue, and irritatedly places his hand on his head "dekho..mujhe ine sab mein koi dil jasbi nahi hai..." Vidya remains standing there both shocked hurt by Sagar's arrogant behavior. Sagar shuts his eyes for a second "ab kare kare mera moo kya dekhri ho...just LEAVE..." And then blinks and laughs "oops my bad, tumhe to angrezi batha hi nahi, toh meri baath kaise samjhogi, teek hai mai shubd hindi mein kehtha hoon, isse kamre se abhi jau.."

Sagar in the bathroom is showering, and suddenly the water stops coming out. "yeh paani kyun band hogaya...uff..maa...maaa" Sagar's mom tells Vidya "Vidya..maine rasoyi ghar mein paani ke ek bucket rakvaya hai, kya tum Raghu kaka se kehkar woh Sagar ko dedogi..woh kya hai na, ki mujhe mandhir jaana hai aur der horee hai isiliye" Vidya smiles "jee maa aap bilkul fikar na kariye, inko hum paani dedenge...aap mandhir jaayee.." Sagar's mom pats Vidya and goes.

Vidya goes to the kitchen, and can't find Raghu kaka anywhere, so she decides to carry the bucket herself. Vidya tries to lift the bucket but it's very heavy...and her saree's pallu kept falling into the bucket, thus getting wet...so she tucks it in, and carries the bucket with great difficulty, into Sagar and her room...she can hear Sagar yelling...She hesitantly knocks on the bathroom door...Sagar says "aree yaha mere ankh jalre hain saabu ki wajase, aur yaha tu kara  hai..andar aao, aur paani do.." Sagar thinks it's Raghu kaka that has brought the water...Vidya shyly and hesitantly brings the bucket in, and closes her eyes, and places the bucket near the shower door, and very exhaustedly proceeds to go out, when AAHHH...Vidya falls with a thud onto the wet, cold bathroom floor....Vidya almost cries at the pain...and tries to get up but can't, just then a hand touches her shoulder....a hand that made her feel warm, her heart feel warm..."haath do apna, aur jaldi karo, meri ankhon mein saabu hain.." Vidya touched by his behavior shyly holds his hand, and watches him peep with shock through his half closed eyes covered in soap...she also notices his surprised expression as he realizes it's not Raghu kaka, but someone else. However, he pulls Vidya up, with such force that she lands straight into his arms...as angry as Sagar is, he can't seem to ignore the feeling of closeness with Vidya when she is just a breath apart from him...He tries to yell at her, but more than that he tries to push the forceful emotions in him, that want to hold Vidya, hug her, and share everything with...This leaves him reeling in shock, in confusion and more than that, a question of what kind of relationship he really wants with Vidya...He quickly lets go of Vidya who is still in pain yet lingering in the warmth of his touch...And motions for her to leave...Vidya goes out....

To be continued...
Preview: Sagar and Surilee make a plan of going to Goa together...and Vidya follows them...and vows to release Sagar from Surilee's clutches...and make him realize their love...

Keep smiling...
Love
Soni




Edited by soni595 - 27 December 2006 at 5:08pm

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