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Insecurity in Marraige (Page 5)

angelic_devil IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 09 February 2007 at 7:04am | IP Logged
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bhilwara Senior Member
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Posted: 09 February 2007 at 9:15am | IP Logged

Originally posted by sowmyaa

But the key thing is one should know their spouse's limitations and expectations from them. If one knows that their spouse is someone who is insecured about them talking to or having friend of opposite sex one should keep distance from the frienship. Basically each one should know where their spouse stands and what is important in their life..friendship or marriage.

While not necessarily disagreeing with you but sometimes some acquaintances, be it real or virtual, just don't maintain much required distance in interaction to keep a dignified relationship. Their possessive and monomaniacal attitude and a strong desire to label the relationship something "safe" so others wouldn't judge it otherwise, may just furnish enough signals to someone's spouse to feel unsecured about. There is a simple solution in virtual world to ignore such, but it's a challenge to deal with those acquaintances in real life. I guess merely behaving based on your spouse tolerance is not the solution in certain condition. Rather than every time sucking up to that attitude, sometimes utilizing confidence building measures like reassurance and giving out enough recognition to elliminate "I'm not worthy" feeling to one's spouse is also important. 

 

mist Groupbie
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Posted: 09 February 2007 at 8:44pm | IP Logged
Call me shallow or human, I would say, but trust can never insulate one from little jealousies and pangs of insecurity.
If I have a friend who makes my husband uncomforable at times, I would think it is as much a necessity of my tact in easing the relationship as an expection from my husband to not make a big deal of it.

I guess Sowmya has put it much better in her much applauded conclusion Smile
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Posted: 10 February 2007 at 6:13pm | IP Logged
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mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 10 February 2007 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maya_M

Originally posted by bhilwara

While not necessarily disagreeing with you but sometimes some acquaintances, be it real or virtual, just don't maintain much required distance in interaction to keep a dignified relationship. Their possessive and monomaniacal attitude and a strong desire to label the relationship something "safe" so others wouldn't judge it otherwise, may just furnish enough signals to someone's spouse to feel unsecured about. There is a simple solution in virtual world to ignore such, but it's a challenge to deal with those acquaintances in real life. I guess merely behaving based on your spouse tolerance is not the solution in certain condition. Rather than every time sucking up to that attitude, sometimes utilizing confidence building measures like reassurance and giving out enough recognition to elliminate "I'm not worthy" feeling to one's spouse is also important. 

ClapClap You write seldom but when you do it is mostly fitting.



I agree with Maya.  this is a great post too Big smile
qwertyesque IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 10 February 2007 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by guess_gallery

Hi guys...

Yesterday i watched a movie ....hmm ..main meri patni aur woh(Rajpal yadav)....then i started thinking abt the film hum tumhare hai sanam....

its simple...maintaining friendship after marriage ....i know its not a big deal but can close friendship effect any relation in negative way...can insecurity grows....

Can close friendship  of our wife or husband (with opposite sex) can get us feel jealous or insecure at any point???

 

Cheers,

Ahmed 

In traditional marriages this possibility is rare... In modern marriages where people resort more to judgement than trust.. relying more on their ability to think...this can wreck a havoc....

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Posted: 11 February 2007 at 12:30am | IP Logged
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qwertyesque IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 11 February 2007 at 12:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maya_M

Originally posted by qwertyesque

In traditional marriages this possibility is rare... In modern marriages where people resort more to judgement than trust.. relying more on their ability to think...this can wreck a havoc....

Are you trying to say that a marriage where spouse's thinking ability goes down the drain is the only successful one?Confused

A successful marriage

Put it as you like,  its not as much the thinking ability but it has a more appropriate flip side called "Wisdom" which was in abundance and is lacking severly these days.with the thinking mind..Smile...Trust  me if thinking is the sole premise for interaction according to you, for every marriage you think should work, I will give you a reason for it not to...Smile,

Purely with reason - no marraiges should work...



Edited by qwertyesque - 11 February 2007 at 12:40am

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