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Insecurity in Marraige

Too_Much IF-Rockerz
Too_Much
Too_Much

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Joined: 19 November 2005
Posts: 5417

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 1:02am | IP Logged

Hi guys...

Yesterday i watched a movie ....hmm ..main meri patni aur woh(Rajpal yadav)....then i started thinking abt the film hum tumhare hai sanam....

its simple...maintaining friendship after marriage ....i know its not a big deal but can close friendship effect any relation in negative way...can insecurity grows....

Can close friendship  of our wife or husband (with opposite sex) can get us feel jealous or insecure at any point???

 

Cheers,

Ahmed 

Anoli IF-Sizzlerz
Anoli
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Joined: 15 February 2005
Posts: 16818

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 1:32am | IP Logged

Where is there is love & trust, i dont think there shud b any insecurity!Embarrassed

I think if u r insecure, than its coz u dont trust ur pattner! U just call it a relation for the sake of it!!! Embarrassed

Take Care

Anoli

xxx



Edited by Anoli - 23 December 2006 at 1:32am
cool_pooja IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 12911

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 4:44am | IP Logged
Insecurities do build if your relationship is new and that frndship in comparison is old or if your patner lies to you for some or the other reason. Its nothing to do wid the frndship but it just shows the weakness of your relationship. If you tell ur better half everything beforehand, there would be no place for insecurities. N if you trust your patner, insecurities would never rise. So a third person can never be blamed. However there are cases where neither of the three are to be blamed but insecurities do rise due to circumstances and new relationships.
Thats what i feel!!
Lovers Ka Love IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 20 July 2006
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Posted: 23 December 2006 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Main Thing is Trust, Obviously if you marray som1, the main thing is love . If The person who gonna marry you is dependable and love you too as you can, then you marry her/him. So Love Make Us To Belive, and the main Reason to do love is belive, Where Belive is There You Find love.
But, its a natural thing that when we saw our Husband/wife with som1 opp in sex, Feel Jealousy.
amisra IF-Dazzler
amisra
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Joined: 12 July 2006
Posts: 3011

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 5:56am | IP Logged
Like all the others said, there will be no insecurity between the husband and wife if there is love and trust. These two things are the base of a successful marriage. If by chance there is insecurity between the two, either the couple needs to sit down, discuss, and solve the misunderstanding, or the marriage will be called unsuccessful and will end up with a divorce.

Cheers,

Anjali
mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
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Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 9:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Lovers Ka Love

Main Thing is Trust, Obviously if you marray som1, the main thing is love .

So main thing is not trust anymore as was in the 1st line? Wink

If The person who gonna marry you is dependable and love you too as you can, then you marry her/him. So Love Make Us To Belive, and the main Reason to do love is belive, Where Belive is There You Find love.

eh?  so you believe and then u marry / and later u find love?  what is happening here !

But, its a natural thing that when we saw our Husband/wife with som1 opp in sex, Feel Jealousy.


SORRY LKL, it is nothing personal, but I had to quote that.  It just got me incredibly confused. 
Peace!



Santa baby! i've been an awefully good girl on IF
So hurry down the chimney top and stop me from getting a warning.. EmbarrassedLOL


Edited by mermaid_QT - 23 December 2006 at 9:20am
mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
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Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 23 December 2006 at 9:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by guess_gallery

Hi guys...

Yesterday i watched a movie ....hmm ..main meri patni aur woh(Rajpal yadav)....then i started thinking abt the film hum tumhare hai sanam....

its simple...maintaining friendship after marriage ....i know its not a big deal but can close friendship effect any relation in negative way...can insecurity grows....

Can close friendship  of our wife or husband (with opposite sex) can get us feel jealous or insecure at any point???

Cheers,

Ahmed 



hello Ahmed!  Nice topic.

It is but natural to feel jealous every once in a while.  It has a sense of sweetness to it.  I see nothing wrong in that as it does not qualify ones's marriage to be one that lacks trust / understanding.
As someone mentioned, the feeling of jealosy is a little justifiable, when the relationship is rather new while the questioned friendship is age-old.  Building a good & secure relationship takes work and time. 
However, when jealosy is to an extent where the insecurity goes out of control and SUSPICION arises,  it is a sign of lack of adequate communication in marriage and understanding. 
The unrealistic jealosy sometimes portrayed in movies is to create drama.  Quite sadly, it is not uncommon in real lives of many.

mqt


Edited by mermaid_QT - 23 December 2006 at 9:17am
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 23 December 2006 at 11:28am | IP Logged
Ahmed very nice topic. Clap

Like QT said, it is natural to get jealous when your spouse is too frienly with opposite gender. But the key thing is one should know their spouse's limitations and expectations from them. If one knows that their spouse is someone who is insecured about them talking to or having friend of opposite sex one should keep distance from the frienship. Basically each one should know where their spouse stands and what is important in their life..friendship or marriage.

QT, I agree with you that insecurity in marriage is lack of communication with your spouse. Once you are in marriage you just can't take it for granted. You have to work on your married life all the time and try to change accordingly. You cannot expect your spouse to change for you, but you have to adapt their nature and build their relationship accordingly.

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