Joined: 19 June 2006
So, I was out in the hall, near my locker, when I see Emily and her friends, or rather ppl who used to be my friends. They were all wearing their lacrosse shirts, seeing as how today, we would have had practice. I mean, them.
I just pretend not to notice her and fumble around in my locker, looking for I don't know what! I hear them talking among themselves, whispering like they have a wild secret or sumthing. Finally, I just decide to stop being such a wimp and face them. I walk right past them and at the last minute, Emily stares at me and her mouth turns into a tight line. And then she uttered the one word, I heard from her everyday.
I don't know why, but today it hurt even more so. I felt like I was being pricked by a needle in my heart, we were friends, now we barely saw each other. If we did, it would only be at school.
She glared at me one last time and walked off with her so-called friends.
So, I shrugged it off as usual and went to the lunchroom.
All day, I thought about Ian White. He was a strange guy, yet very familiar, like I knew him before. It was more than weird thinking about a guy in that way. I haven't been in a relationship for almost over 2 years. The last relationship didn't turn out to be very pleasant. It ended with Erica going to jail, me trying to kill myself, Emily hating me, my parents disappointed in me and Michaela and I stopped being close. We were so close together before the Dark Era. I hate myself, the way I am now and the way I act. The way I have to act around everybody, I can't even be myself anymore. It's all so stressful. Probably one of the reasons I am also failing school. I mean, I am a hopeless mess, seeing as how I don't have a loving family, no girlfriends( don't get me wrong, I love my guy friends, but sometimes I wanna be able to talk to a girl, you know? Seeing as how guys hate it when girls get emotional) and no grades, no after school activities. I mean, I'm like a crazy person, holed up in my room all the time, I don't go out unless it's skating and I don't even like to go around with the guys. They're all talking about girls and who is hooking up with whom.
Ok, but enough about me and my wallowing in self-pity. I'm sure you could do much better than this. I mean, wasting your time, reading some shit, about a girl who has a completely messy life and how she is going to turn this around? Hardly interesting!
So, wouldn't you agree with me, when I say green eyes and curly hair are the way to go? For a guy, I mean? Ok, ok, for Ian is what I mean!
Ok, I have to stop!!! he is so unbearably cute, oh my god, no wonder all the girls in our class was drooling over him.
So, I am spacing out as usual, during lunch, when Scott taps me on the shoulder and asks me about Erica. I jerk around and tell them about how she is my best friend. He and Damien don't know about Erica, coz, you see, Erica went to jail, before we got to be friends. And I guess, I just never mentioned her. So, then Jake explains how we were going to pick her up and he asks them to come along and surprisingly Scott says yes, but Damien refuses.
"Sorry, guys, I don't wanna miss it, but I have student council, 2day, so..." he trailed off
"Oh, come on, Damien, u can skip that thing for once, can't u?" Jake shot back.
and so on and so on went the argument.
I was looking at the new guy, and it just so happened that he turned around. He was sitting all alone at the farthest table. He was sketching something. He caught my gaze and we stared at each other for a long, long time. It was mesmerizing.
Then I looked away, I mean the guy was burning a hole through me!
"Dude, let's go!" called Jake out to me, "Lunch is over, man!"
I walked back to 5th period silently.
So, I was in the bathroom, when this little incident happened. I was in one of the stalls, when two girls walked in. Or it was three, I don't remember. Anyways, I hear them come in and right away I know it's Azra Pollinsky and Monica Green. They were the second popular ppl in our grade. Besides Kelly and her ladies-in-waiting, is what I mean. So, since she doesn't like very much(like any other sane person in this school, besides my guys) I decide to wait out in the stall until she leaves. I mean, it's not like it was going to be very long- all she had to do was put on her stupid pink lip-gloss and fix her hair.
She comes in starts talking.
"Ok, that whore!!! I'm gonna kill her!" Azra shouted and I could almost imagine Monica nodding her head and trying to calm her .
She obviously threw something at one of the stall doors. I just prayed that they wouldn't notice me in there.
"That little skank, thinks she can go with my boyfriend, behind my back, huh?" she screamed again and I was beggining to wonder who that unlucky person was going to turn out. I was already feeling sorry for whoever it was, that Azra was talking bout.
"I'm gonna kill that little *itch!"
I couldn't take it, so I flushed the toilet and came out. Besides i was late to my next class. Monica's eyes widened, while Azra's narrowed.
I went to wash my hands and suddenly Azra pushed me against the wall.
"Hey, what the hell?" I screamed at her.
"You "itch! U think u can go out with my boyfriend behind my back?" she looked really angry, but I wasn't scared of her. And now I also knew who they were talking about.
"What the f***?" I yelled at her as I pushed her off of me.
Then I turned toward the door to get the hell out of here. I mean, I wasn't there to start a fight. Besides, I never went out with her stupid boyfriend. In fact, I don't even know who her boyfriend is! Jeez!
Just as I was out the door, someone grabbed me by the ankle and I fell toward and hit my head hard against the marble floor. I felt blood trickling down my forehead.
Now, I was pissed. I mean, that little rotten idiot, first accuses me of going out with her boyfriend, pushes me around and now almost breaks my skull. Oh, it was so on. She was going to pay for it!
So, then I did what I now don't regret at all. I, well, socked her in the face. Twice. And pretty hard too.
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My anger in the bathroom, caused me suspension for a week and it caused Azra& Monica only three days? You know what I'm thinking? It was unfair. I mean it wasn't like I started the fight (as much as I wanted to), but Mr.Kim didn't believe me. Well, I guess I could understand why he didn't believe me. After all, I had caused numerous troubles in my school with fights& shit like that, but those times they really were my fault. But this time, that "itch Azra got the better of me.
You know what she did? She framed me for the whole thing.
"I was just in the bathroom with Monica talking about our Algebra homework, when Cassandra came out of the bathroom and accused me of going out with her boyfriend! I mean, she doesn't even have a boyfriend! She's totally psychotic! It's scary." said Azra in the whiny voice of hers. Those were her exact words. I denied everything, and told them the real truth, but unfortunately no one believed a single word I said. Then Mr.Kim, our principal called my dad to school. It was just stupid. Why couldn't they just give me one of those slips saying I got suspended, like every other time. Jeez! Talk about harsh!
But all this happened after Azra and I were sent to the nurse's office. Azra had a black eye, and a broken nose. That's what my powerful punches do. I mean, I told her to back off, but she would go on and on about her stupid boyfriend. I mean, the guy was probably cheating on her.
But all I had was a scraped cheek (Azra had some nasty long nails) and my forehead was slightly damaged. The nurse said I should go to the Emergency Room. Whatever. No big deal, I am fine.
Dad offered to drive me home, but I refused. I mean it would be uncomfortable enough with us. The drive would be long and I didn't want silence between us the whole time. It would be annoying. Not to mention boring.
So, I decided to finished the rest of the day at school and the guys were all over me, wanting to hear every single detail about the fight between Azra and me. She went home early, seeing as how she didn't want anyone to see her with a black eye. Gosh, it looked good on her. My only regret is that I didn't make both her eyes black. Boy, that would've been a total hoot. I would've laughed over it for hours. But no harm done. She got what she deserved.
* * *
So, since I was suspended, I decided to ditch last period. I gave Mademoiselle Lafarge a note from the nurse about my "accident" and how I could leave early, if I wasn't feeling so well. Mademoiselle Lafarge taught French, or my best subject.
"Oh, Cassie, of course you can leave early! Hope you get well, soon!" she said. I don't think I need to remind you that she is French, therefore she had the most annoying accent in the world. It was revolting. "Au revoir, mes petite!" How many times have I told her not to call me Cassie? Simple Cass would do the job. Even Cassandra, but never Cassie.
I walked out the door, after muttering an "au revoir, Mademoiselle Lafarge"
Just as I was out the door, Ian came in and we did that thing where I went left and he goes left, I go right and he does the same. Finally he grabs my shoulders and stops me dead in my tracks. He smiles at me and steps beside me and into the room. I could still feel the electric buzz on my shoulder blades.
I suddenly wondered who Azra's boyfriend was. Then I shook off the thought. It was ridiculous.
I was about to go out the school doors, when I passed the swimming pool. Did I mention I loved swimming? Yeah. Well, today, unfortunately, I had to sit in Mr.Kim's office during the entire swimming class, listening to him lecture us. It was completely off the point. He knew perfectly well, that there was no point in lecturing me- I would never learn. But Azra, I could understand. Therefore, I missed swimming today. And upon seeing the pool, I had the sudden urge to swim. So, I did what any not normal girl would do. I sneaked in and changed into my swimsuit in the locker room. I came out and dived in from the deepest part.
I started to swim and it felt good. Somehow, I felt calm, when I swam. I felt at home and the faster I would try to swim, the more free I felt. It was an exhilarating experience for me. Every time. I never got bored.
About 30 good minutes of swimming, I came out of the water, when I suddenly noticed someone in the doorway. I screamed, seeing as how I was caught swimming in here, when I shouldn't have been. But then, screaming just made it worse.
And the person ran over and clamped his hands over my mouth. I let out another muffled cry, when I didn't recognize the person. I mean, it was relatively dark in the swimming pool, cause I didn't turn it on, when I came in. I didn't want some freshman, coming in and telling on me. I squinted up at this person and to my shock, it was that new guy, Ian White. As stupid as it sounds, I screamed again. He hissed a shut up at me. Then he finally let go of my mouth.
"God, what the f***?" I hissed at him
He looked down at me and instinctively, my arms went around my body. I was in a swimming suit, for heaven's sake! If only my mother could see me now, all alone in a room, with a guy, and not in proper clothes, she would go ballistic!
He quickly looked away and I asked him what he was doing here.
"Well, I was passing by and I heard splashing sound and went in to check it out, you know, just curious" he said, still not looking, while I wrapped a towel around me.
Suddenly he turned around and we were only inches apart. And let me tell you, I was not comfortable with this kind of space. He was looking into my eyes and I noticed that his eyes were the most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen. He leaned down, and I looked away.
"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled at him. I mean, kissing a girl that he doesn't even know? What was his problem?
"I was just-"
"No, you know what, just stay away from me!" and then I pushed him and fortunately he fell into the pool of water.
Right then, someone came in and to my horror, it was Coach Hart.
* * *
I got detention for three days. After my week of suspension is done. Just great. Actually it is great. I mean, I get to skip school for a week. If only they had suspended me for a month. That would've been great. Just fantastic.
I got home and my mom really did go ballistic. You know how the school calls your home, whenever you get suspended. Well, apparently, on that call, Mr.Kim mentioned my little incident in the swimming pool and how I got three days of detention. My mom really looked pissed when I got home. After all, I was suspended for punching a girl.
I think I will spare the actual argument that I had with my mother, because it was not pretty.
At 3:30, I was gonna meet Jake at his house and then go over and pick up Erica. I felt a ping of excitement as I remembered that. At least something wrong wouldn't come out of getting Erica out of jail. Or so I thought.
So, I freshen up a little bit and get ready to go to Jake's house, when my mom sees me.
"Going somewhere?" she asked me in a calm voice, not at all the person that she was a minute ago, when she was hysterical, almost crying.
"Uh, yeah" I answer, quickly trying to get around her, when she grabs my shoulder. I hadn't quite told her about Erica getting out of jail. Actually, I didn't tell her anything these days.
"I don't think so, young lady, after today's little performance, ur not going anywhere. You've earned yourself a night in."
"What???" I cry and my mother goes upstairs. "None of it was my fault, you actually believe that I would cause a fight, with just anybody? I mean, I barely even know Azra and Monica. They framed me-"
I didn't get to finish the sentence, cause right then my mother cut me off "don't you think u've had enough? I mean, what more do you need? Huh? You want to get arrested? Go to jail?" her words stung. She was almost screaming, now.
Then she took a deep breath and started to climb back upstairs. She looked down at me and said "And don't even think about sneaking out, cause I will find out and when I do..." she trailed off. Then she left. And I was left alone at the bottom of the stairs. Her words rang in my ear. Haven't you had enough? What more do you need? Go to jail?
Well, I was going to get out, no matter what. My friend was getting out of jail, after all. If I wasn't there to greet her, who was? I needed to sneak out. So that's what I did.
* * *
She looked pretty good for a person, just coming out of a jail. We were in front of the gates, and there she came out, in jeans and a yellow tank top. She had her hair in a high ponytail.
She screamed when she saw me. I wondered if it was because I was sooo ugly that I was scary, or if it was because she missed me. She ran toward me and hugged me.
"Cass!!!!!!" she screamed as she hugged me. She felt warm in my arms.
"Oh my god, you smell really good!" She squealed.
And Jake and I burst out laughing. Then she ran around me and hugged Jake.
"I missed you," she batted her eyelashes at him and he flashed her the most dazzling smile. No wonder, every single girl in our grade was falling for him. Except me, of course. We were just really close. Friends.
So we went into Jake's car and not once was there silence. We chatted about how it was in jail and she told us how horrible the food was.
"Thank god, I was in there for only 3 years, otherwise I would've died of starvation and it was just disgusting in there!" she told us and then she shivered. "So, what's been going on with u guys?"
I started to speak, when Jake interrupted me
"Oh, sumthing really interesting happened!" he emphasized interesting and glared at me.
"What?" Erica asked curiously
"Oh, Cass got suspended for a week and then detention for 3 days. Isn't that extremely interesting?" he said and bursts out laughing. Erica hits him and tells him to shut up.
"Cass, honey, wat happened?" she asked me. For a minute she looked like my mother.
"I was in a fight with Azra and her accomplice" I answered not caring too much.
"That *itch! I'm gonna kill her!" she hisses out under her breath.
I laugh and she looks at me. "What's so funny? You got suspended, and when I'll be back in school, you won't be there!"
"Oh, we have a new student!" I cried out a little too loud.
"Really?" she says sarcastically, knowing that we had tons of new students since she went away.
"Yeah, his name is Ian White, the guy who got me detention"
"Ooh, sounds hot!"
"Shut up!" I say, now blushing a little
"Someone's blushing!" she says and she and Jake laughs all over again.
So, then we went over to Erica's house and her parents were there with balloons and cakes and shit. It was great. We hung out for another 3 hours, mostly catching up on the last 3 year events. Then we called Scott and Damien and introduced them. They got to know each other all very well. Overall, the night was a success. Well, almost.
"So, if this doesn't offend you, um, why were you in jail? Asked Scott uncertainly when we were having pizza
I shifted around uncomfortably and Erica looked over at me, silently asking me if we should tell them.
"No," I said and took a big bite out of my pizza.
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