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|'| Guinness World Records: The Alien Side of Humans Recorded |'

rai-kishori. IF-Sizzlerz

Captain Javitri, FFG Cupids
Joined: 31 August 2011
Posts: 22189

Posted: 16 April 2017 at 1:57am | IP Logged

The High Specialty Sound Sensor at NASA suddenly glowed red.

Mr. Tulip hurried over to it and shushed softly as he quickly fit part after part to erect the main telescope. After squinting through it for a while, he sighed deeply. His eight year old son looked at him questioningly.

"Is it them again?" he whispered. Mr. Tulip nodded.
"Why do they keep coming and going when they want nothing to do with us?"

 Mr. Tulip shrugged. He too, when alone, often wondered about the same.

No. 12K9E4 woke up with a start, only to the boring ruggedness of Mars, which his UFO (Unbelievably Fast Orbiter, duh!) was whirring past. He looked at the little menace of an alarm clock that had woken him up. It was now screeching.

3 minutes to go. Landing on Earth. Decelerating. Object 280...

The same boring rant.

12K9E4 could never understand his fellow Orbit-roadies' obsession with the humans.
What was there to learn from them? The same boring space-scouting nuisances!

He could not believe his long ears till long after 10K001 finished announcing that 12K9E4 was to go to the Earth, find out and bring in that old book which talked of a man stranded on Mars who grew potatoes all by himself. Imagine that! Who in the universe would want to know how to grow potatoes!

But as it looked there were many takers for the idea; fools, who seemed to think it would be a wonderful snack idea for the Mini-Orbitroadies.

Team 25A49L had also been sent to see if they could find a spare copy lying anywhere, on Jupiter or Saturn, but humans rarely left a speck. The places they'd land upon, looked the same when they'd left. It looked like they were taking their #CleansetheUniverse too seriously. Damn them, he thought.

If it were anyone else he would have refused a trip to Earth without a second thought but no one usually refused 10K001. He seemed to hypnotize them with his fourteen inches worth of ears and a booming personality. Though annoyed with him, 12K9E4 could not repress a grin remembering the wink the leader had given him before he boarded his Orbiter. "Be careful 12K9E4," he had said, "You might find there a lot more there than you bid for. The Library is the actual Power House of the humans."

"Now, now! What was the name?"
he impatiently rapped his feet on the floor,
"Yes! The Martian. Get me The Martian." he ordered as the terrified Librarian scurried off to do his bid.
, he shrugged, 10K001 would indeed have been sorry for ever having pitied these pests. Only if he had been ever faced by them! They were nothing like the Orbitroadies! Not as brave, as fast or as intelligent! Yet they want to be our equals! Now look at the girl! A tardorbiter would have been faster! They have been visiting so often! By now she should be speaking their language but the useless awe they show.

"Oh drop that now. I'll get it myself!" 12K9E4 growled as he whizzed back and forth around the shelves, throwing the books up in the air leaving the racks askew.

Suddenly, a blinding pain shot through his skull and he fell to his knees, comets and planets dancing before his eyes. Rubbing his head, he picked up the book that had hit him so hard.

He was about to throw it when the title registered in his brain. Nothing familiar though, it was only something called

"Limited Edition: 100 Most Popular Guinness Records".

Edited by Radhikerani - 16 April 2017 at 5:03am

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verisimilitude IF-Sizzlerz

Crazy Creative Senior
Joined: 06 September 2010
Posts: 16327

Posted: 16 April 2017 at 4:05am | IP Logged

"You might find there a lot more there than you bid for. The Library is the actual Power House of the humans."  It rang a bell inside him.  

12K9E4 got out of the library with the book not paying heed to the librarian who ran behind as he was in for a mission to find something more relevant than potatoes. The urge was strong. The pull was magnetic.

Failing to find an apple tree which enlightened a silly human who defined the gravity which was well known to them before him, 12K9E4 sought a peepal tree's shelter to read the book that kindled his interest.

World records listing the human achievements? What's with these humans and their self-obsession?  Orbitroadies dont go about glorifying their achievements by issuing such books. Yea pity that we don't get enough credit for roaming around 24*7

12K9E4 shrugged disappointingly and immersed in reading the book.

"105-year-old Jack Reynolds becomes oldest person to ride a roller coaster"

"Lee Redmond took nearly 30 years to grown her nails out to the record-holding 28 feet, 4.5 inches who holds the record for the longest nails in the world."

"Donald A. Gorske who consumed his 26,000th Mc Donald's Big Mac after 40 years of eating Big Macs daily creates a world record."

"Lucky Diamond Rich is "the world's most tattooed person",holds the Guinness world record of his entire body  tattooed."

"Clyde Beatty holds the record for mixing 43 lions and tigers in one cage"

His eyes kept widening at an alarming rate, till they were the only organ on his face, "Are they for real?"

12K9E4turned the pages and started to read the introduction and history about this notorious book.

The Guinness Book of Records was started in the year 1955. Sir Hugh Beaver who was then the managing director of Guinness Breweries had an argument on the fastest game bird in Europe. It was brought into his attention that there was no such reference to substantiate these arguments on the records. He contemplated an idea of issuing a book that holds these records. His dream came to reality when Norris and Ross who were running a fact-finding agency was commissioned to find the exact information on records and compile it in a book. 

Right from the competitions to the unique records, Guinness Book of Records became the primary authority on the cataloguing and verification of records after proper scrutiny and authentication by an official committee. The Guinness Book of Records is the world's most sold copyrighted book, earning it an entry within its own pages. Its the 63rd year of publication this year published in 100 countries over 23 languages.  Until 1998 the book was titled  as Guinness Book of Records later it was changed to Guinness Book Of World Records. 

9th November every year is designated as International Guinness World Records Day to encourage breaking of world records.

Though the compilation of several weird and unimaginable records have been published, they pertain to certain rules and ethics. Any record related to killing and harming of animals or humans are not allowed. 

Several television series and spin offs document these records too.


12K9E4 shut the book and tried to register the information contained about the history."This is beyond we know! Humans are not specially endowed to be weird. They are the epitomes of bored out of peace, need no reasons to destroy their known land. How can they be interesting?! "Ouch


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.sweetchick. IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC
Joined: 07 November 2011
Posts: 19492

Posted: 16 April 2017 at 10:37am | IP Logged

12K9E4 feels really scared now. His biggest fear came true. Humans have lost their minds and he was really skeptical on turning on the next page of the Guinness Book Records.

"But I have to know the whole truth."

"10 weirdest records?...So the stuff before wasn't weird enough?!"

10 :  On January 6, 2016 :  The longest eyebrow hair , belonging to Zheng Shusen was measured at 7.5 inches.

I already knew they were not like us, but this I wasn't expecting. Not at all ! Have they gone that much crazy that they're measuring eyebrow hair. Breath ! Breath ! This is sadly only the beginning...


9 : On November 12, 2015 : Dinesh Shivnath Upadhyaya beat his own record for most lit candles held in the mouth with 15.

WHAT ??? Couldn't he put those candles somewhere else for his romantic date ? Like seriously I feel really bad for his lady...

8 : On September 30, 2015 :  Aficion Chocolate built a nearly 13-foot-5-inch chocolate structure that weighed in at 22,458 pounds to create the heaviest chocolate sculpture of all time.

OK this is scary. The tiny cube of this divinely devilish gooey stuff got many Orbit-roadies' so dazed that they could have fallen out of space. Are humans trying to...extinct us?!!

ET continued to turn pages and it made more difficult for him to keep his frustration in himself...


7 : On October 11, 2012 : U.S. resident Donald A. Gorske consumed his 26,000th McDonald's Big Mac.  


6 : On April 10, 2011 :  Charlotte Lee (USA) has 5,631 different rubber ducks.

The one which that terrifying squeaky sound?!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dead


5 : On March 10, 2010 :  Ram Singh Chauhan's mustache is the longest, at 14 feet. The Indian man's facial hair was measured in Rome, Italy.

Potential weapon? He could choke a lot of people and...other types of creatures by that...Ouch


4 : In June 2008 : After her first skin piercing in January 1997, Elaine Davidson was hooked. The Brazilian former restaurant owner has been pierced a total of 4,225 times.

I once got pricked by a needle. The point of attachment was as far as some light years...It hurt...a lot...I couldn't endure the pain...I thought I was dead...So how come this person?!!Ouch


3 : In February 2008 : It took American Lee Redmond nearly 30 years to grown her finger nails out to the record-holding 28 feet, 4.5 inches in February 2008. The longest single nail was her right thumb, which reached to 2 feet, 11 inches.

 Wait ! I haven't read till the end... She lost all of her nails in 2009... in a car accident. Obviously ! How can you get into a car with such long nails ? Right? This isn't scary. Its OK. Like her nails can cut me open easily now. But they could break...couldNuke

:  On August 6, 2009 : The most straws stuffed in a mouth is 400, achieved by Simon Elmore, who held them there for 10 seconds at the Mark n' Simon Show, in Germany. A detail to be added, with hands off !!!

That is the width of a Martian!Dead


1 :   In May 1988 : When Ben Rea died , he bequeathed his 7-million ($12.5-million) fortune to Blackie, the last surviving of the 15 cats he shared his mansion with. The millionaire antiques dealer and recluse refused to recognize his family in his will and split the majority of his wealth between three cat charities, with the instruction to look after his beloved pet.

Cats. OK. The broodingly observing devils who can shred you to pieces by just a thought. Of course they are humans best friends.

12K9E4 shut the book and sat back, leaning on the bark of the peepal tree only to get up so suddenly that the winds took notice.

"What if this tree is a trap? What if this air is going to choke me? What happened to the Humans?! The epitomes of boredom, the ones with no imagination beyond making weapons to kill each other?! How come they turned weirder than Us?!! How come they got so refined in the madness of mind?!!! How come they seem ALIENS?!!!!!! ShockedDead"

 |18shabbo| |-Koeli_Appy-|

|.Leprechaun. |Radhikerani|  |verisimilitude|

|.Avengers.| |.sweetchick.|

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AASUS IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 30 October 2009
Posts: 26345

Posted: 21 April 2017 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
Pro , Maria and team interesting write up. Had fun.Star

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18shabbo IF-Sizzlerz

Darth Vader of CC
Joined: 13 January 2011
Posts: 23212

Posted: 23 April 2017 at 1:17pm | IP Logged
Weirdness runs in our DNA. We nuke for peace ab aur Kya loge.

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SilverBell IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 05 September 2009
Posts: 38528

Posted: 24 April 2017 at 4:28pm | IP Logged
Interesting Thead.
Nice Job CCs.
Martins419 Newbie

Joined: 05 April 2017
Posts: 25

Posted: 27 April 2017 at 8:11am | IP Logged
Are we really half aliens?
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