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:. Historical Hysteria: The Qtal-e-aam Edition :o .:

.sweetchick. IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC
Joined: 07 November 2011
Posts: 19791

Posted: 10 March 2017 at 11:19am | IP Logged

He was done with his failure in Urdu. While most of the failures didn't matter too much, not being sober enough to notice often, but this...HURT. If only his eloquence were not restricted to being the family disappointment. After literally doing everything that he could to win his lady Anarkali's heart, braving all the storms seemed so tempting.

His impossible love saga between a rich shehzada and the rags girl was going no where near the shear suave of the Mughal-e-azam.

"That's because the movie was about your old man my dear lost child of history. And on an interesting turn of events, there's no anarkali other than the one hanging from the pomegranate tree."

"I knew it! My memories won't forget such a background score. But Oh! Almighty where did the true nature of past gone hiding? Humans maketh horror of our time."

"Kill the Shakespeare", drawled the Almighty with a bore look towards the area with tea cups, "he's rotting himself about Romeo must die."

"Because he's British?"

"Because he's fangirling Jet Lee."

Well better not meddle in Shakespeare. People keep dying while being dead! But he won't deny the star-crossed love story was quite appealing. 

"Till your wife hears your thoughts child, then you'll be the crown Prince of swords- drawn love stories."


"Oh well but isn't the world below obsessing over it?" Salim was erked by the treatment of his mortal self on earth...A bit. "Will we be together at the end? Or will Shahenshah Jalal-ud-din Akbar use JK cement?"

"Sounds like a historical fairytale alright, only adding the bit about a tree and the Kali."

"You need to remember, the movies and the TV shows are nothing without adding some spice, the so called masala element to increase the TRP ratings and earn money. Some supernatural events, some illogical tracks, some new unknown characters to our galaxy, some unseen ways to kill or murder, a strange love story and the list goes on! "

"So all that is not so unique in their own way..." Salim processed the detail and indulged, what if the viewers, like him, were not satisfied with what they're currently watching ?

Just for the element of surprise their mammoth personalities are being reduced to the level of sidekicks in a Hollywood musical. The likes of him who gave the world the envy of lifestyle goals are now draped in silks from chandini chawk ki Badi dukaan.

The trauma will end him here before it ends down there. They'll need to do something permanent about the situation that is history.


|.Leprechaun.|  |Radhikerani|  |verisimilitude|

|.Avengers.| |.sweetchick.|

Edited by .sweetchick. - 12 March 2017 at 12:40am

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rai-kishori. IF-Sizzlerz

Captain Javitri
Joined: 31 August 2011
Posts: 22185

Posted: 10 March 2017 at 7:18pm | IP Logged

Salim, or the great king Jehangir, seated himself on the lavish throne beside the twin fountains of heaven. Old habits die hard, they say. Kashmir had taken his breath (literally) but not his sense of justice. The very sense of justice that was making him cringe every time he glanced at the 32' television hanging from the wall. The glass still bore a gaping crack where  Prithviraj Chauhan had put his foot through it the previous day as they were watching the recap of the series made on him.

"How dare they!" he roared. A flock of fowls flew away. Maharana Pratap, who was applying a balm on his forehead jumped. "We know right?! Can't you stop? As it is I'm sick from all the nonsense they're breeding about me, my mothers and my wives."

"When did my Ruqaiya try and poke her nose between Maryam and me?!" sighed Akbar while stroking the hair of his queen-consort. "And when, for that matter did I ever go out on common-man-honeymoons with her?!"

"But seriously! Sometimes people overdo it." piped up Rani Padmini from a corner, "I heard the protestors stalled up the shoot for my movie!"

Loud footsteps were heard. Padmini and Ruqaiya turned and vanished on the spot.

Prithviraj entered knocking down whatever dared stand in his way. Rana Pratap stood up with open arms but receded quickly, taking into account the flame ablaze in the former's eyes.

"I want justice!" he roared. "I did NOT spend my entire childhood skirting round temples with my inamorata!"

"Patience is a dear virtue, my child!" Chandragupta Maurya patted him on the back, appearing amidst them, "A value you are well acquainted with. Think of me? Not once, I've been butchered twice! Trust me, we'll have our day."

"Yes! Sau sunhar ki, ek lohar ki!" said Ashoka, who still was in denial that his character on earth was no more than an angst-struck lover-boy.

"Someday people would realize it was the great War and not my dear wife who made me see the error of my ways!"

"And what about me?" said Lakshmi Bai of Jhansi, "They've ruined my death! I was supposed to pretending to be a man, and they made me a vengeful reincarnation of Miss World Feminist! Oh, and I was supposed to be shot. They got me stabbed instead!"

"What an injustice." drawled Akbar sarcastically. Prithviraj Chauhan was pacing up and down the room, "But something ought to be done! This cannot go on forever!"

"True," chimed Padmini, who had reappeared along with Ruqaiya begum, "Though I am yet to know my fate, I am very much sympathetic to your cause and am in agreement with brother Prithviraj. Something ought to be done about this!"

Rana Pratap sprang up from his seat, "Revenge! Let the power of the fury of us, the heroes of their heritage, be unleashed upon the besmirchers of history!"

Jehangir, who had, till now, lent a quiet ear to the poor fellows, spoke, "Yes, revenge shall be our key. We shall teach those ignorant creators of such embarrassing serials, a lesson that they shall never forget."

Akbar said, "As the oldest Badshah-e-Hindustan present in company, I elect my son
Mirza Nur-ud-din Beig Mohammad Khan Salim as the leader of our little vengeful  party. Let us not forget, when united, we are a force to be reckoned with."

Edited by Radhikerani - 11 March 2017 at 10:35pm

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Haal-e-Dil IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC, Dev & YHM banner contest winner
Joined: 25 August 2012
Posts: 17845

Posted: 11 March 2017 at 11:28pm | IP Logged

The infamous Lady K of TV land sweated profusely at the sight in front of her. At first she thought it was one of her dreams (brilliant dreams, she thought inwardly, after all that's how the ideas for story comes to her!) but then she turned to right and saw fellow colleagues/rivals sitting beside her, and then one lady, who looked like she stole her clothes from her production house, cleared her throat, she sat up shrieking. One look around and she was ready to scream out loud, but then- 

"Oh, look at the poor thing." The lady tutted, "If she wasn't one of the culprits I would almost feel sad for her."

"C... Culprit?!" Shocked, she looked at others, "Who are you all?!"

"You make those atrocious stories about us and don't even know how these characters actually look?" The old man from the group said in a gravelly voice, "Hum bohot nakhush hai apse mohatarma.

"Who are you?"

"Hindustan ke shehensha, Jalal-uddin-mohabbat Akbar. Or should I say the pathetic excuse of King you showed in your so called serial??"

"Aur hum hai Ruqaiyya bi." The lady behind him chimed in, curling a trace of hair around her finger, "I am not the insecure third wheel you portrayed, you know? I had other works for God's sake!"

"Why I should be excluded?" A rather young boy jumped in between, "Though you have barely started butchering me, but can you please tell when my third wife Nandini enters my life? Cause I have died and yet I don't seem to recall . . ?"

The others realized they were being unfair and turned to other prominent people of media who are equally guilty of misrepresenting them. Nostrils flaring, the great Prithviraj Chauhan turned to them and roared.

"Hum Prithviraj Chauhan hai! One of the most fierce leader and fighter of Rajputana! When do you think I had the time to romance leaving my duties toward the kingdom? And that too in my teenage?! Are you out of your mind? Which books you read before you decided to put your spin on our stories?!" 

"Humne dushman ke goliyon ka samna kiya aur desh ke liye shaheed huye the! I wasn't stabbed dammit! At least you could have showed my death properly! Is it too much to ask?!"

Rani Laxmi bai took out her sword, about to chop them into pieces. The horrific expressions from others made her pause, her sword back to its cover.

"Where is the war, the effect of Buddhism, the scriptures by me?! All I see is stupid kitchen politics. Do you people honestly think we had so much free time?"

Ashoka whirled to everyone and they all covered under his steely gaze, "We may not has modern gadgets to keep us company but we were pretty busy you know?"

"S... Sir." One of the media people raised his hand before speaking, "it's just a show. For time pass. We need to add some..Twists and turns to make it interesting, you see. Your history remains intact, it's just mindless fun."

"FUN?!" Akabar's voice boomed, "You show one stupid tracks after other, 6 days a week . . . "

"Five." Lady K chimed in somewhat sadly, damn the weekend content.

"It gets so much recognition, gets dubbed in multiple languages, so many people watch it and you honestly telling it has no effect?"

"We all know how great you people were." One of media person actually shrugged , making Prithviraj angrier "We remember you due to history books, not TV show. This is ridiculous."

"Ah, I beg to differ." With a dramatic air another male entered, as if it was some court, "My life, which is a mystery like my predecessors, is now not only known because of my father, but also cause apparently I had a tragic love story. My beloved was buried alive in a wall. After decades of same story told over and over again, now it's. .  Ah, what you people call it? Canon."

"Salim?" Lady K sat up straight, "So was the legend true? Did Anarkali exist?"

"Khamosh!" Jehangir's sudden yell made them all jump, "We are sick of the lies and half truths you lot show to the next generations. Why can't you tell the real stories of our lives? Don't you have no responsibilitiesregarding the content? If you don't know then why chose our lives at all? For you it maybe just business, but for us it's bloody insulting."

"A bit of responsibility won't hurt, you know?" Ruqaiyya begum drawled, "mixing business with pl...err... Education?" 

"We are the glorious characters from the past! Don't you feel ashamed to write outrageous things about us? To enact them?" Prithviraj asked in a hard voice.

Nobody had an answer.

Granted, the serials and movies are 'just fiction'. But then, the characters are not- Chandragupta Maurya, Rani Laxmibai, The Great Ashoka, Rana Pratap, and countless others. They lived, breathed and died in this very land, they contributed so much for our culture. The least we can do is to preserve whatever knowledge we have about their lives and demand the same story to be told in the similar way. There should be a fine line between daily serials twists and accurate representation. Like what Ruqaiyya begum said, mixing business with education, and a bit responsibility.Wink

Edited by .Avengers. - 12 March 2017 at 1:41am

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18shabbo IF-Sizzlerz

Darth Vader of CC
Joined: 13 January 2011
Posts: 24173

Posted: 12 March 2017 at 3:12am | IP Logged
Oh! Boy

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_Meena_ IF-Addictz

Captain Daalchini
Joined: 01 May 2010
Posts: 65874

Posted: 12 March 2017 at 10:27am | IP Logged
hilariously well written <3 

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.moonglade. IF-Sizzlerz

BollyCurry Assistant Writer
Joined: 12 April 2015
Posts: 16680

Posted: 12 March 2017 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
Sorry, double post.

Edited by --Elara-- - 12 March 2017 at 12:19pm
.moonglade. IF-Sizzlerz

BollyCurry Assistant Writer
Joined: 12 April 2015
Posts: 16680

Posted: 12 March 2017 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
Jeez, how i wish this happened fo real! Amusingly well served, good job folks!

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-RisingPhoenix- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 25 May 2014
Posts: 10276

Posted: 12 March 2017 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
So true! LOL
Hilarious and very well written CCsClap
I have given up on these histrofictions long back. Last I tried watching RaziaSultan. Watched it for 2 weeks only for some great dialogues. Before that was Prithviraj Chauhan when I was a kid. Currently i am watching PeshwaBajirao since there is no big distortion as of now. Hope it remains the same.
Best historical I would have ever watched is Siyasat. It had negligible fiction/creative liberties and was pretty much accurate

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