Posted: 16 November 2006 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
Thank you once again! I'm glad you all are enjoying it as much as I am while writing it. Do let me know your thoughts on this part...
Recap: Gauri refuses Shiv's help and decides to not let her hopes rise and to stay away from him.
As Shiv stared at her he could only think of one thing. What is she thinking about? After a few moments he finally turned around and said, "I'm going to take a shower…do you need anything before I go?" He waited for her to say something but when she didn't he went to take out his clothes from his bag and was about to enter the bathroom when he heard her whisper his name, "Shiv." He turned around to look at her and saw that she was looking at him. Her next words surprised him even more than her refusal for his help, "I'm sorry." He was stunned. He didn't know what to say so he finally asked, "Sorry? What for?"
Gauri heaved a sigh and continued, "Sorry for putting you through all this and sorry that you had to attend to me. You shouldn't have had to do all this." Her words pierced his heart. She was sorry that he was there for her? He didn't know what to say and before he had a chance to reply she continued, "But it doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it. Thanks…she hesitated…thanks for everything." Shiv, upon hearing her say thanks mellowed a bit. "You're not welcome," he replied in a soft but stiff voice and headed towards the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door, he turned the shower on at full and then leaned against the bathroom door and took a deep breath. "Why, why is she sorry? I should be the one apologizing not her! It's because of me she's in this condition. Had I not brought her here none of this would have happened," he thought. But a little voice somewhere said sarcastically, "Yes, you're right none of this would have happened. Neither would you have gotten to know her better and nor would you have realized her value." He looked around to find no one there and wondered if he was loosing it. With that he went to go take a shower and stood under the water for a long time, thinking back to the time spent in the jungle. For some reason he kept remembering Gauri's words, her anxiousness when he was being taken away, her concern…Gauri's thoughts refused to leave him. As he stood there, his dream slowly came to him. He realized all of a sudden that he had had a dream last night but could not remember what it was that he had dreamed about. It certainly wasn't the same dream in which he was running away from something or someone. He had actually slept peacefully through his dream! What was it that he had dreamed about? It was a very blurry dream he remembered that much and he had heard faint voices or was it just one voice? He couldn't place it exactly. He finally gave up and then realized that he had been in the shower for a while and that he should head back in case Gauri needed him.
While on the other hand…as soon as Shiv had closed the bathroom door Gauri had let her tears spill. She didn't know what to think. Why was this happening to her? Why couldn't they go back to the way they were before this honeymoon trip? She at least knew that Shiv disliked her and would never come near her no matter what. Then why did all this have to happen? Why were they forced to come close to each other? Why were they forced to open up to each other? Why? It was already hard to keep herself together earlier but now…she didn't know what to think. She had come close enough to Shiv to know that she liked being near him, close to him. She had come close enough to know that she felt safe & most secure in his embrace. But now what? Oh how she craved to be in his embrace again…it was as if all her pain would go away if Shiv would take her into his arms once again.