Posted: 14 November 2006 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
Alright! Got it to work finally...thanks Raz. Hope you'll enjoy this and I already have the next part ready...will wait for replies...
This begins from where Shiv brings Gauri to their Resort room from the hospital and is looking after her…
Shiv makes sure that Gauri's comfortable. He places a pillow underneath her shoulder to give her more comfort. Then he sits across from her on the sofa and thinks of all the times they spent together and more so the ones where he was cold and mean to her…their suhaag-raat night, the 1st day at the office with her, the time when he told her that he was going to divorce her with the very pen that her father gave him, the first time he touched her and told her that she will always remember that night because he had touched her but with hatred, the Nitesh episode, his plans to destroy the Aashram while he took her away on their so called honeymoon…and as soon as he thinks this his cell rings and Machank tells him that he's been awaiting his phone call so he can destroy the Aashram but Shiv tells him to forget about it. As he disconnects the phone he gives Gauri a side-long glance and then is thrown back down the memory lane and thinks about all those times that she quietly took in everything while he vented his anger and frustration on her. He thought of the times when she would listen to him quietly and then proceed to give him his things as he was leaving, and then when she had confessed that she had nothing to say to him and that she couldn't reveal the truth about their marriage to anyone as her father would never be able to bear the shock. He was amazed at how much devotion, love and care she had for her loved ones. And then he thought of the time they spent together in the jungle as hostages…how she immediately came to him trying to defend him when the dacoits first took him away, then when she came running to him, relieved to see him alright, her confession that she would not let anything happen to him, she had revealed that she knew he didn't love her but nevertheless, there still existed a bond, a relation even if it was for namesake only, her revealing that she would never be able to trust anyone the same way again… He closed his eyes as these last words rang in his ears. His pain could be clearly seen on his face as he thought about how he could have been the one who could have been shot had it not been for Gauri being in the way. And who knows maybe he might not have survived. He couldn't bear the fact that he had been so brutal with her and yet she had stood by him when most others would have feared for their own lives. She had put her own life in danger in an effort to save him.
Gauri stirred and a streak of fear spread across her face even in sleep. Shiv hurried to her side and started stroking her hair and she instinctively grabbed his hand that was lying by her side. Shiv was surprised at first and then a little uncomfortable. He tried to free his hand but Gauri was holding on tight and he couldn't free his hand. He let her hold on to his hand as realization hit him that she was probably dreaming of what happened and was still very much scared. He stroked her hair again in an effort to let her know somehow that he was with her and that she was ok. He got comfortable on the floor by the bed and rested his head on the bed next to her as he was also very tired. Sleep came almost immediately.
The next morning Gauri is awakened by the sun's rays and as she sits up she sees Shiv sitting on the floor by her side and she notices that she was holding on to his hand. She was very confused. She didn't understand why Shiv was by her side but before she had time to think more there was a light knock on the door and she saw Ipshita walking towards her with a tray of juice and some breakfast. For the first time Gauri wished that Ipshita wasn't there but she didn't understand why. She wanted to be alone with Shiv by her side again but this time not because they were forced to be together but because she wanted to see if their relationship would take a different turn due to the forced circumstances they had been through and thanks to all that they had had an actual conversation. She didn't have much hope though. She knew that Shiv had only opened up to her because of the situation otherwise he would never have come close to her. But her thoughts were again interrupted by Ipshita. Shiv was still sleeping unaware of Ipshita's presence and Gauri didn't want to wake him up. Ipshita started to say something but Gauri motioned her to be quiet gesturing towards Shiv. Ipshita understood and whispered to her. "How do you feel now?" Gauri replied, "Much better but I'm still in pain." Ipshita smiled and said, "Don't worry, if Shiv continues to take care of you like he has been since last night then you'll be fine in no time." Gauri stared at Ipshita in confusion & surprise. Ipshita continued, "Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe me? I'm glad I encouraged you to go on your honeymoon. It seems as if your married life might finally get back on track. And I'll leave now and make sure to eat something and I also brought breakfast for Shiv. You guys get rest today and I'll see you both at night. Anupam and I have to go take care of some formalities with the police and the hospital and then we'll go grab some good food for you two and meet you guys after 6 or 7pm. I'm sure we won't return before then as both the police station and the hospital are quite a distance from each other. And don't worry about family. We've informed them that you guys are ok. Shiv asked us not to tell them about you because he didn't want to worry them and then they would probably want to see you immediately and both Anupam & him thought that you should atleast get to rest for a day or two here before heading back home as doctors have given strict instructions against any travel for atleast 2 days, ok? But I guess you can talk on the phone with them as they must be anxious to speak to you both. They wanted to speak to you both last night but we told them that you both needed to rest and that you would call them today. Ok? Alright then I am leaving."
Gauri breathed a sigh of relief as Ipshita finally left. Gauri was still holding onto Shiv's hand and thank god Ipshita hadn't seen this thanks to her blanket covering their hands. Gauri leaned back on the bed and flinched when she felt pain sear through her back. She squeezed Shiv's hand really tight and let out a suppressed sigh. Shiv stirred a bit but Gauri immediately loosened her grip on his hand so not to wake him up. Thankfully he didn't wake up. Gauri just stared at his face and saw the softness there and realized that she had never seen this side of Shiv before. She had seen him sleeping before but never had dared to stare too long for fear of him waking up and noticing her. She smiled as she looked on. He looked so cute…almost like a little kid sleeping after a busy fun-filled afternoon. She wished she could hold onto this moment forever. Having him close was what she needed the most right now. She needed to feel safe and for some reason she had felt the most secure and safe in his embrace. She sat up straight as realization dawned upon her. Yes, for some reason, she had felt safe even when they thought they were about to be shot. Why? Yes, she had felt safe but she had also felt herself getting panicky. She knew it could easily be because of the situation but she couldn't convince herself. Had she really panicked because she had feared for her life? No, she knew deep down what the reason was and she was afraid to admit it. But it was true, she had panicked because she had thought that that was the last time she would see Shiv. Up till then she had had hope. Hope that they would make it through this and that Shiv will be ok and that nothing could happen to him. But why thought Gauri. "Why am I so concerned for him? Yes, he's my husband and it's my duty to do all that I did but what about how I feel about him? Are those feelings also there because that's how I'm supposed to feel or is it my own heart that I have no control over? What's happening to me? And was Ipshita saying the truth? Was Shiv really worried about me? Did he really care for me last night? No, it cannot be. He doesn't even like me let alone love..." and Gauri paused at the thought of love. Tears came to her eyes immediately. "Love, what is love? Didn't Shiv himself say he didn't even know what love was? Even I don't know what love is. Whatever it is…all I know is that that is one thing I can never even dream about. Shiv will never love me. I'm not even worthy of his love." As her tears flow down her cheeks they make their way to Shiv's hands.