RKG CHAPTER 16 page 117 POSTED Oct 19th - Page 45

Originally posted by: lashy

Radha... I feel like pulling her choti 😡

hey di...wassup? how r u ? i know i am superlate but something comes up so i couldnt able to read earlier but now i got time and i am superexcited as you know THIS IS MY FAVOURITEEE STORY😳 







jalal hoping that radha might refuse surya vadan's proposal but radha said ''Why would I reject his proposal?''





but the way jalal claim that she belongs to him make her elated😃...she is liking his possessiveness somewhere but she cant imagine herself with a person who is womanizer and have thousands of women in his harem



Edited by mamtasingla - 7 years ago

Originally posted by: mamtasingla

hey di...wassup? how r u ? i know i am superlate but something comes up so i couldnt able to read earlier but now i got time and i am superexcited as you know THIS IS MY FAVOURITEEE STORY😳 

marvellous astounding fantablous update as expected from you di❤️🤗

hamida is tensed seeing his son's obsession for radha but i really dont understand why she is worried now?😕 i mean to say she is happy knowing that her son is attracted to radha...i thought she is ok with jalal-radha's relation

hamida-jalal convo is nice...much needed talk😊 hamida wanted to make her son understand that he cant possess radha, that he cant control radha's lyf and she is right in her place thinking about her son and the SULTANATE but this trigerred jalal breaking the last ounce of his patience leading to bursting all his emotions😭 

  ''You know Mariam Makhani... Your entire life has been about the sulatnate only... You have never cared even once for your kids and their needs. You are a hopeless, self-centered mother. I was, I am and I will... always be a Shahenshah for you... nothing more. Even after knowing everything, today you are just looking out for the Sultanate... what a selfish mother you are.''

jalal feels hurt talking like this to his mother and leaves the chamber

On other side, the princess jodha is waiting for her jalal😆 remembering the past incidents... she is getting frustrated as she is not used to such treatment jalal saw radha sitting on bench gracefully like a royal princess unknown to him that she is truly a princess😛 

jodha vent out all her frustration on jalal unknown to her jalal's stat...jalal choked her to death but somehow controlled himself😲

jalal is getting distracted seeing radha in that attire😳 hence he asked her ''Why are you wearing this royal dress today???'' to which radha replied very audiciously😉

         ''If you are asking about my preference then honestly I don't prefer you in this dress. I would rather prefer you in nothing at all...''😳😳😳 aww😛😆

but jodha said that she is comfortable wearing such attires in front of surya annoying jalal...jalal calmly asked her again and she innocently replied that she is wearing this dress to impress a person who came to see her

                         I've read the half part and will read the rest tomorrow

LOVE U SWEETY😳

Update soon dear
Edited by KESHACHANDINI - 7 years ago

Bhavi, when r u updating both the stories??

Originally posted by: sweet_diksha

Bhavi, when r u updating both the stories??

Rkg soon...maybe in a 10days I will try sooner.
and Is It Hate or love... I have not started yet...

It's delayed because of vacations... I was out 15 days and kids are home too however I won't give excuses...  I will try to update fast😆.

Hey di, i am new on IF i read ur story it was nice, i realy like it. You r realy awsome writer di.
Update nxt chppy soon & pm me

Ok Bhavu... I read through all the rest of it slowly... carefully... with my emotions open... 

>>>>Emotions Open...lol😛

...

...

But, I must tell you Jalal (yes, didn't appreciate his one or two impulsive behaviours in the last 4 chapters) but he still emerges my outright favourite here... yes, he is negative-shaded... but, he is dealing with it.. coming to terms with it.. trying to change it..

Jalal is my fav too... Sometimes I feel I am unfair to Radha... hehe

Radha... I feel like pulling her choti 

Pulling choti of my Radha🤣... my innocent angel Radha😆 (Arree Yeh sentence padh ke tune muje Varsha ki yaad dila di... I laughed out loud...

 Ek to woh khud apni feelings pe kaaboo nahin kar paa rahi hai... on top of that, the Shehenshah is trying to understand her/be patient with her as much as possible (of course Shehenshah would be proud and egoistic ... and ambitious... warna how will he rule? People will just walk over him!) 

I agree... but Radha is princess na... and she is not a good actor ;)

Radha comes from a royal clan na... she should know this... she has studied under a 'Chanakya' like acharya na... she should know how to speak/behave in a formal setting... or even to the Shehenshah!

Actually... Jodha's weaknesses are her anger and arrogance. I agree she did step out from her confine many times when she was angry or annoyed other than that  she used polished language  when circumstances are normal (like when she talked to Hamida or Salima begum) but as soon as she loses her temper and forgets her tone. Her arrogance is the main reason Jalal attracted towards her further.

Acharya even advised her not ruin the plan because of her anger and arrogance... I have mentioned when Jalal summoned her to leave palace that time she recalled Acharya's words.

No I am not saying she has to accept the proposal of concubine... NOT AT ALL! I am not saying she should be meek... NOT AT ALL! But, she can defy it with dignity and grace... she's supposed to be an intelligent girl na... handled court matters at Amer... then why is she so rude to both kings... in front of an entire darbaar of people?

But both of them were kind of rude to her... and tired possess her so she defended herself. Surya scolded her few times... and Jalal also threatened her.

*Phew* Now that I vented it out. here, I am with my comments  dar mat jaanaa Bhavu... I am enjoying the story and your Jalal.. that's why I am so angry with Radha... 

I can see U leaning  towards Jalal... hehe...

She loves me so much that she has no control over her emotions. I can't marry her and make her my begum but I can make her my concubine... She can be part of my life and harem...Ohhh...why didn't I think of this before??? But will she agree? Why not... She will... I can clearly see in her eyes, she has fallen in love with me and this is the only way I can make her mine, I will propose to her when she is in a good mood.

Hey Bhagwan! He thinks he knows her, but he doesn't know her, does he?

Poor Jalal... 😕

Don't make me weak like this... I am here to find Mughal's secrets and to make them weaker, and to take my revenge, I am not here to fall in love with him.

Finally, I rejoiced at knowing the truth about her mission...

😃

 When he is not around... she talks so wisely... (She is like me... after eating a big piece of cake I promise myself I will not eat anymore ...heheh)

Jalals confession about his other begums was nice... but then again, he ended up saying "I don't know... may be... Radha... I have never felt like this before... I have been with hundreds of women but none of them could do this much magic on me..."

I wish he didn't keep reminding her and us that he's been with hundreds of women...

It was real na... Jalal was a womanizer in his young age... and rest  My imagination going wild😆...

 

It doesn't matter we can't stand each other but there is something between us which is connecting us...

Awww

 😃

"Can you at least rest you head on my shoulder so I can feel the touch of your cheeks..." He said in insisting tone.

And the foreplay that followed was so sensual☺️

U look cute while blushing...heheh

 

"Radha, come on say yes."  

Jalal was waiting for her to respond... their lips were trembling with the temptation just inches apart... He whispered again and said "Radha open your eyes and say yes or no...Don't make me crazy."

"Radha... Now I can hear your heartbeats... I wish this moment freezes forever and we both stay in each other's arms like this."

I loved the buildup to this

I enjoy writing romantic (gutter mind) scene... ;)😆

I can't even imagine hurting him like that... I can't finish this mission... I have to escape out from here before its too late

 When he's not around... she really cares for him and his feelings

This girl is a gone case... falling for the wrong person.

"I am more scared of myself, I am scared of your passion, the way you hugged me... kissed me... and the way I responded back to everything, I am losing control over myself. Shahenshah, I don't want to see any dreams which I know will never come true." Her eyes again got moist...

This makes sense! 

I thought you are going to entertain me tonight for winning the competition

"Hmmm...So you want Shahenshah E Hind to entertain you."

 😆

 This was the first time he had seen her without any pain...

It was just pure love, her soul was cheering meeting with his soul for the first time. There was no pain or hatred in her eyes. There was no necessity to communicate,

"I don't know where my destiny will take me but I want to capture this miraculous moment with me forever."

^^^ Awww Jalal played the flute? Ok the entire flute scene was amazing... the description of their music intertwined with their feelings... the emotional climax it took them to... the ambience. I loved it...  especially the above lines!

U Know I am a big worshiper of Krishna even though I am Jain... Currently, I am reading a book on Krishna's theory on love... So I felt too pure while writing this particular scene... I am glad U like how it was written... because this part directly came from the heart.

but then, what an anti-climax...

Nevertheless... I LOVED Jalal's proposal because you kept it true to the era... And I loved Radha's answer to it too!

and I will make you mine on my terms and condition.'

This worried me...

The way he avoided her thereafter was good... but the best was the way she returned his gift flute' to him... I actually cheered her there... worse, he was so rude after that! (This is the only part I got angry with him btw)

>>>Ohhh... God... only one part...

Suddenly the sound of her glass bangles woke him from his daydreaming and he felt shocked at his own imagination...

Baapre .. kyaa kyaa daydreaming karte hain yeh...

>>>Yaar yeh story mein dream mein hi romance ke chance hai... heheh

Radha can get charmed by that monster, but not Jodha. Jodha has to save Amer from his stealthy claws... No matter what, I have to gain his trust back, so I can get underground information, so Acharya can destroy his weapon house, but that will not save Amer. He already has vast troops near Amer, waiting for his indication to attack.

 

First step is to gain his forgiveness and attention back.

And On the other side, Jalal thought absolutely opposite and decided to ignore her completely to make her realize that she is not that significant in his life any longer

OOOh! Here she is planning to gain forgiveness and there, Mr. is on avoidance mission. 

Poor Radha..😕.

"Oh Lord!!! Radha... Shahenshah has fallen in love with you. I have never heard from any of his begums or concubines that he ever cared about any of them like this."

Radha replied in a defending tone "Why would his begums tell you what he does when they are in their private chambers? He is probably like this with everyone... I don't think he is in love with me." She wanted to hear again and again from Reva that Shahenshah has fallen in love with her.

^^^ This part was cute..   so believable of an 'angry' person in love... 

I love Reva... and enjoy writing Reva and Radha's scene.

recently I heard about something like he had done a big sin because of one of the dancers..." before she could finish someone knocked at the door... Due to the knock Radha couldn't hear the last sentence at all.

I liked Reva a lot... she's very practical... and she makes/talks so much sense... I've begun to like her a lot..  how old is she?

She is about 23 years old... about 5 years older than Radha...

And I liked Hamida's thoughts about Radha.. and how Jalal was forgetting his kingly manners... and their conversation after that... I actually liked the U-turn Hameeda took wrt Radha, without being disrespectful towards Radha... 

And how she's thinking of Sultanate rather than Jalal's dil etc... which is really not practical for a Mariam Makhani to be thinking anyway  (for e.g. like how HB in serial kept going Jalal ka dil... Jalal ka dil)... all her dialogues/anger made sense to me here...  Finally, in one story I actually like Jalal's mother 

>>>For her Sultanate comes first... then Jalal or Jalal's dil... hehe... She entertained Radha before thinking she will agree to become Jalal's concubine but no way, she will not agree to let Jalal trail down.

 Little Rahim instantly realized he hurt her ... He quickly hugged her tightly and said, "I don't care if you are just a maid who works in the palace, but you are still mine."

Awww  

"Jalal give me five minutes... I am not done with my make up yet." She quickly put on few more bangles.

He annoyedly said "Enough Rukaiya, I don't have whole day for your shringar... get up now."

something pinched my inner conscious, it was fun, but I feel like I have stolen Radha's moments from her... Why do I feel guilty??? I don't feel content.

I like the fact that he came to these conclusions, but I don't like the manner in which he came to it... (using Ruqaiyya to spend his pent up love) but I understand why you've done it... it fits his character!

My gutter mind was active... 😆 ... I wanted to show his frustration... and his shallow relation with other queens specially Rukaiya.

the heartless and merciless king has fallen deeply in love with an ordinary maid.  

Phew! 

"Radha is beautiful, isn't she?" Jalal asked in sarcastic calm tone.

"Listen carefully Shahid, you look too young to die, if you look at Radha ever again, you will never be able to see anything ever again."

 😆

Poor Shahid... hehe

'I will only focus on my mission from now on and would not let him take advantage of my feelings, never again. I will do whatever It takes to fulfill my mission. If it means being friendly to him to get him on my side, then so be it.'

She says all this, but inwardly hurts by all that's happened...

I agree... She is broken inside... poor soul

And Jalal paying attention to his other work (Adham Khan, Marwa etc) was a nice change.. I love it when he concentrates on Siyasat... shows him to be a man of substance... not just a lover... 

I will try to add a more political aspect of his life.😃

"Don't use your over smart brain Mushtaq... Just follow what I instructed you...

 

Although I have always played only and only for my own heart's content... But today the pain of someone else's heart has touched my soul... so though what I'm presenting today will have my voice, the words are someone else's. Till now he has not realized how deeply he has fallen in love...this song is all about those innocent doe eyes whom he had described to me.) He slightly smirked at Jalal before beginning.

Ok I loved the Tansen scene... the research you've done on it.. I loved the setting/atmosphere... more importantly, I loved your Tansen unlike the serial Tansen who was sleeping in the darbaar 

The song he made for Shehenshah  excellent Bhavu! 

Actually, I wrote this scene for this ghazal only... hehehe

My favorite ghazal😳 from my favorite all time singer☺️... (Jagjit Singh❤️ is my Tansen... no one can touch my heart like he does. I am a big big fan of him... I cried😭 so much when he died and (my hubby was laughing at me) Actually, I listen to ghazals mostly.)

He was so overwhelmed, happy and excited that he gifted Tansen 100,000 Gold coin which was written in (real) history...

 

"Shahenshah, I have decided to get married." The entire function area was suddenly filled with giggle and laugh..."

"Rahim you are too young to marry... We will discuss this tomorrow alone?"

Rahim replied in a desperate tone "Nooo... I can't wait, otherwise, she will leave me forever..." His face turned sad and eyes got moist.

"Shahenshah I want to marry choti ammi..." A pair of sharp dark eyes looked at Radha... Anger flared up and began to simmer below the surface and Radha's eyes widened in shock...

Jalal pagal hai bilkul... bacche se kyaa jalna? 

Aree he is not jealous but angry at her because she told Rahim that she is leaving Agra.

Rukaiya cheered the way Jalal insulted Radha publicly while indirectly admitting, he will never marry an ordinary maid.

The drama that followed this between Ruqaiyya, Radha, Jalal, Adham and Rahim... Hey Bhagwaan! 

So far Radha has not played with you and your emotions, but now Jodha will play the character of Radha.

     she says this

>>>>>Can she???

But when he grabs her waist, melts into his arms 

Soon silent tears fell over from the corner of her eyes, but her brain was too feeble to defend against it. While sobbing sleep took her over in its soothing warmth.

I loved this description ^^^  

 ☺️

It was very early morning, the sun in sky tinted  with a haziness of faded golden and orange shades between the gray shadows, as it began to arise with new hopes in the horizon.

The Restless Night passed without a blink... While watching the changing colors of the skylines, Jalal was sitting on the swing under the open sky with scorching ache. He welcomed the first ray of the sun with a dim smile, with the hope and faith that soon the game will fall in his hand. He was being optimistic.

He had a slight prideful grin on his face since the toughest night passed and he won over his deepest, uncontrollable desire to run to her and take her in his arms and  comfort her pain. He successfully curbed his intense longing to pursue her and ask for forgiveness for not supporting her. He murmured cynically Khan Baba, I completely agree with you that love makes a warrior weak. Your advice about not falling in love was very true because love only leads to pain, but falling in love is not in anyone's control. It just happens, no matter how much you pull yourself backward, or strain to control your feelings, it is useless, more you constrain on yourself,  it multiplies in the opposite direction  and throws you towards love. Love is a magnetic pull.

These three paragraphs were a 'turner' for me... I absolutely loved this description Bhavu.. it was perfect.. the grammar/ explanation/ the expression all spot on... it was crisp...  take a bow, Bhavu! 

Awww... Me blushing😳

but he is the reason for my darkness, and he is the one who brightens me as well...

WOOOW! 

My poor Jo... confuse aatma ...hehehe

"I am glad to see you Shahenshah, and I'm very pleased to know that you still remember your royal manners."

"How could I forget my Royal manners which Mariam Makani herself had taught me. And I am very sure that Mariam Makhani also knows how to treat a king like a king."

LOVED this part too

  😳

"I have come here with my two personal guards, I am just requesting you to allow them to serve me in Agra, because I am much more comfortable with them."

"Oh sure, no problem, but they will be accompanied by our guards all the time. Hope you have no problem with that."

Excellent following of protocol!  

Yap I also liked Hamida and Surya Vadan convo...

"Your Queen... in Agra?" Jalal asked in a surprised tone.

"Yes Shahenshah, my would be queen..." He paused and deeply inhaled "I am here to convince her to marry me."

Interesting, he is a king of three states, he's young, good looking, well cultured... then why is he sounding so unsure?? And he came all the way to convince her, who is this girl? Is she Mughal? Jalal thought.

Very interesting! 

"That's not a problem King Surya Vadan, why don't you invite her inside to join us.  I'm sure everyone here is curious to meet with the most fortunate girl." Jalal instantly responded gently understanding his edginess.  

The buildup to Radha coming there was very well done...  take another bow...

Me blushing again 

First time, he felt defeated and that too without a war.

 😳

She shamefully looked down as if she had betrayed him.

 WOOOW - I loved this feeling of Radha... she hurts him but doesn't like doing it.. 

Radha is much weaker than Jalal when it comes to control emotions... She is like a transparent glass... whatever inside of her shows on her face... She is not used to this kind of scandals and playing games.

For a second, he was disappointed when he didn't see any longing or any excitement in her eyes to see him after such a long time.

 

Poor Surya... / Radha was too engross in other emotions

Jalal growled loudly, "How dare you touch my woman? PUT HER DOWN IMMEDIATELY..."

This isn't news... Everyone knows here that she is skilled in disobeying.' Jalal thought while looking at Radha amused.

  their war of egos! 

"Shahenshah, if I decided to leave, then you have no right to stop me... I am not your queen or concubine. I am just a worker here." Radha angrily spoke to Jalal, her words were much louder than she anticipated to speak, she quickly turned towards King Surya Vadan and spoke firmly but politely "And King Surya Vadan, you cannot order me or force me as well, I have not said yes for the marriage yet."

At least for the fact that she's acting as a maid... and in front of so many royal personages... she shouldn't be using this tone, na?

Even a princess wouldn't use this tone... why is Radha so rude?

>>>> Here her anger took over but I will definitely change her tone and mellow her language when I edit this story for watt pad. Thanks for the suggestions. J

Seeing Jalal's deep sorrow and frustration instead of feeling satisfied with her revenge she felt heartache. She again flinched at his pain and turned towards the door, she tried her best not to limp or flinch while taking the steps.

 

"Oh... Do you know princess Jodha?? I have heard a lot about her beauty. Entire Rajvansh calls her Registan Ka Gulab'. Is she actually that beautiful?" Jalal asked casually with curiosity.

 

I liked the conversation between Mariam Makhani and Jalal...

  Take third bow

Awww...

he dominates every situation...

Isssh! 😳

"Radha tell me why do you relish evoking the devil inside me? Why do you defy me for everything I say?"

Probably, because I have nothing left to lose.'

 I loved something about this line - the poignancy of it???

>>>>The story trundles around this one line.

Both wanted this and both were in need of this content peaceful love.

 

Radha being a Shahenshah, I have done uncountable unfair things... I will add one more without a hitch, and for you, I can go to any extent..." Suddenly, his tone had turned grim, but she could sense his misery.

WOOOW! KYAA SEETI MAAR LINE 

>>>>I am so happy U enjoyed it... 🤗

But I am at least admitting truthfully what I feel, but what about you Radha? Not even once, you have admitted that I am affecting you.

Exactly  

 

Loved it bhavu... keep it coming please  how much effort you've put into it, I can see... 

>>>>Thank U so much for reading and constructive suggestions.🤗🤗🤗

and tumhaaraa Jalal koi bad wad nahin hai... this is how men of those time were... at least, I'm not convinced yet... 

>>>> I also feel mera jalal super cool☺️ hai so far... but I have not portrait his  dark side yet...

 

Edited by shahbhavini - 7 years ago

Originally posted by: shahbhavini

LOVE U SWEETY😳

aww...i love you too di❤️

di finally i able to read the update and commented on it on page no. 64, so you read whenever you get time😊 but you know di this time i've to write comment for 2-3 times as everytime the comment got deleted before clicking on 'update post'😭