Posted: 17 May 2016 at 11:03am | IP Logged
"Yash trust me when I say that I never planned to leave as I did. I wanted to be with you. I had decided to be with you. I was so happy, and I finally realised I didn't need anything but you. But just before the Dehli trip I discovered that I was pregnant. How it happened, I still don't know. I promise you, I didn't plan the pregnancy. I did what you asked of me. I used the contraceptives without fail. I was so confused when I found out about the pregnancy, and I was scared of your re-action. That is why I didn't want to go to Dehli with you. I didn't think the baby would survive the trip. Even those 2 weeks there, I still hadn't made a decision, till the very last day. I felt confident that if the baby could survive the Dehli trip and all our amorous activities, he would survive. And yes, I did lie to you when we came back home. But I only lied to you so that I could give our baby a chance to survive. I lied to have time, for a chance to get away. If I had stayed Yash, I doubt that our relationship would have survived. I don't know that I could have carried on a relationship where I willingly caused the death of my baby.
After I found about the pregnancy, my gynae and I did extensive research about my condition. We eventually found a hospital that specialised in my condition and other pregnancy related complications but it was in the USA. I really debated it all in my head, and then I did what I thought was best. I had no choice but to do everything in my power to ensure that our baby survives. He was part of you too my love. He was the manifestation of our love. That made me love him more and want to protect him more."
"Still you should have told me Aarti"
"I know that now my love. But it's too late for regrets now. It was the worst time of my life but I believed that I was making the sacrifice for us. I missed you and our family every day. For those 4 months before our precious angel was born I was on my own. I couldn't even get out of bed. I had no one and nothing to do. The only thing I could do was work on my laptop. I developed a few systems but I didn't even offer them to anyone yet. Even then the doctors didn't want me to do that. But I had to do something. I had the phone in my hand so many times to call you but then I decided against it. I so much wanted to hear your voice, be in your arms, to hear from you that everything would be fine. I needed you so much, baby. And there were a few times that I nearly lost our baby even though I was following doctors' orders. That would have been the worst. To sacrifice everything for nothing. And finally our little angel was born. But for so long he didn't feel the love of his parents, or any of his family members. Only strangers. Although the medical staff was brilliant and we really grew fond of each other. But I was in intensive care for a week and could only get out of bed after 2 weeks. Only then could I see him and touch him. I felt so guilty. He was in the incubator for 6 weeks. Every day I counted as blessing that my son survived another day. And he was so strong. He is real fighter like his mom and is winner like his dad. He came through it." she smiled.
"So when he turned 6 months old, I was granted permission to travel with him. I was so excited Yash. I knew that I suggested the divorce but I didn't really think you would do it. I was shattered when I found out. The first thing I wanted to do was tell you about the baby when you came here that day but you told me to stay out of your life. And when Pari told me about your pending marriage, I decided it was best for you to first get married and then learn about Aayu. I didn't want to sway you decision with the baby. I'm so sorry about that."
"Aarti, it's over now. We can start afresh. Me you and Aayu" he said and he lifted her head and started kissing her. But she knew exactly what he was doing. She kissed him back. And tears started to flow. They finally stopped.
"Yash, I know what you are doing. But we can't avoid it. We have to talk about it."
"No, No. Please, no." he said burying his head in his chest again.
"Yash, please look at me."
"I'm pregnant. And you know I have to try and save my baby. But this time ... this time will be even worse. Because this is my third pregnancy it could be fatal for me as well as the baby. My only chance is to do what I did before. But this time I have to go right away. Aayu will need you more now, Yash. I think you should move back home and take him with you. He can grow accustomed to his family."
"Are you not his family Aarti? How can you leave him?"
"I don't want to Yash. But what choice is there."
"There is a choice, Aarti. Don't you love me?"
"You know I do. More than anything. But Yash, can you imagine a life without our precious son. I can see how much you love him. That he is your pride and joy. When I see you with him, I know that in some way, my decision was correct. It makes me so happy to see the two of you. I am so happy that you are his father. He is really a reflection of us, isn't he, Yash. He is perfect isn't he?"
"Yes my love he is perfect. But now we have him. That is all we need. We can come live here. You love this place. I do too, but only when you are here. Just stay here with me."
"I have a leave in a week Yash. Please can you just make sure that our son is happy and taken care of? Then I can rest assured."
"No! He shouted. No! He got up. "You are not going anywhere. You will stay with me. If you love me you will stay. You will choose me this time. Me and Aayu. Why is it so easy for you to have allegiance to something that is not even there? Why is it so easy for you to leave me? How many times must I lose you Aarti?'
He took her by shoulders.
"Aarti look at me. I am a wreck. Before I met you I knew I knew exactly where I was going and who I was. Every step of my life was planned. And I relished it. I was groomed to run the Scindiya Empire and I stepped into my role with zeal. As much as others wanted it for me, I wanted it more. I did it. I took over and I made an already successful company excel. I am not bragging Aarti. I just need you to understand me. To look at things from my perspective. Women threw themselves at me. I had my pick of women. And I used them for my pleasure. To fulfil a physical need. But since I met you, everything has changed. I can't think straight. I behave irrationally because of you. Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that you own my whole heart? I have never felt this way before. I didn't think this kind of love is possible. I used to scoff at people that were the very same way I am now. You make me lose control. So much so that I even stooped so low as to hit you. So much so that I can't stop myself from making love to you when I know the dangers. You are everything to me. If something happens to you then I don't want to live either. I won't survive without you."
"And what will our son do, Yash? Will he be an orphan? Must my parents raise him? Must yours? You know that your mother doesn't care for him. Will you do that to him?"
"And you. You are doing the same."
"It's not the same. I am trying to save our child. I trusted and I prayed and both Aayu and I survived. It will be the same now. I know it."
"Not everything happens as you decide it to happen Aarti. You said yourself that the danger has increased. Yet you are still going through with it. You can have an abortion."
"I can't and you know it" she said calmly. "This baby is alive and growing in me. It is part of the man that I love hopelessly and I will trust in that love to keep us alive."
She grabbed him again.
"I love you, I love you, I love you" she kissed him.
He was weak. He had no resistance. He kissed her back, he was desperate for her. He tried with great difficulty to stop. But like that night of Prashant's proposal, she overwhelmed him. Their desire and desperation was stronger than them. She had her way once again. Before they knew it her their clothes were discarded. Their joining was quick and fast paced. And their climax was intense. Their cries of passion drowned out the sound of the waves and finally they shuddered and settled in each other's arms. They were home in more ways than one.
Afterwards he said.
"The baby, Aarti"
"See my love, you already care for him or her too." she said as she kissed him softly on his chest.
"Aarti, stop it. I just want you to be safe."
"I'm still here and I am still safe and I am still loving you. Are you still angry at me Yash? Can you still not forgive me?"
"I am not angry, Aarti. I am just scared. I am so very scared. I cannot face losing you forever."
"Yash, if you support me, I am sure that the baby and I will came through this safely. I just know it. Please just say you forgive me. Then my heart will already be lighter. My hope and faith will be stronger. I need you by my side. Knowing that you still love me has already made my belief stronger. It makes me want to fight for our love, for our family. I am determined to see my children grow up, I want see them get married, I want to make love to my husband every day. Please allow me that. Your love and support is all I need.
"Do I have a choice, Aarti"
"No, because you love me and you want me to be happy. And I am happy just knowing that you love me."
"I do love you. I will have to think about all of this. Will Aayu be ok if you stay with me tonight?"
"He sleeps with Ma and Pappa sometimes so I am sure he will be fine. You call them, they will be happy that I am with you." she smiled.
She was right, they were ecstatic that they were together. They eagerly agreed to keep Aayu.
"Have you eaten, Are you hungry?"
"I didn't eat much at the party either. Between missing you and running after your naughty son, I forgot to eat. So what would you like to eat, Mrs Scindiya."
She gave him a naughty look.
"You know what I want."
"I told you to stop that. If you want me to support you then you are going to behave yourself." he said already getting aroused again.
"But that won't harm the baby"
He pinched her nose.
"You are naughtier than your son. Now tell me what you want to eat."
"You decide. See I am trying to be a good, dutiful wife."
"I see and it makes me nervous."
"Yash!" she said outraged.
He ordered the food and then sat down and put her on his lap again.
"First things first Aarti. You are not my wife."
She looked down, sadly. But he lifted her chin.
"I think it's time that you stop being shameless and seducing me. After all I am a respectable man. You had better make an honest man out of me."
Her heart did somersaults.
"Tomorrow is a good day for a wedding don't you think my love."
"Any day is a good day to marry you." she smiled and kissed him.
"You have to make an appointment with your doctor as well. We will go see him together and we will decide what to do from there, ok?"
"Ok. Did I tell you I love you?"
"Once or twice." he smiled, kissing her on her cheek. "But I will never grow tired of hearing it, because I love you too."
"Then why are you being cruel to me. I am hungry and you won't let me eat."
"Aarti, the food isn't here yet." Then it dawned on him what she meant. "Naughty, naughty, Mrs Scindiya." But his body gave him away as she felt him against her bottom.
She got off his lap.
"I will have my dessert before dinner." she said as she settled on her knees and proceeded to enjoy her dessert to his delight."
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