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Need all ur suggestions

amlavs IF-Dazzler
amlavs
amlavs

Joined: 21 March 2012
Posts: 2653

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
Hi friends.,.,.
This is lavanya...
Many of u may know me...For past two days my life is back to hell..
I'm married and now as a single mother am struggling a lot to provide a good safe secured and healthy future for my 6 months baby girl..
In my marriage life I have  faced a lot of prob(arranged mrge).. Went through many mental and physical abuse...even during my pregnancy period too I suffered a lot of mental pressure through my Hus and in laws... 
Now I came back to my mothers home with my baby...am fed up...actually am tired of fighting..
My husband is now in Dubai...he is not in touch with me and even didn't phoned once to ask abt baby too..
But my prob is my mom-in law is creating prob..as she is spreading unwanted rumors abt me...some how my husband won't believe it but he is a mumma's boy...he won't do anything against his mom..my main problem is tat I know he loves me he is very caring and all but once his mom told then he ll turn completely... He ll change if he spoke to his mom once...hr is not stable...
We are not legally seperated yet...am done...I wanna move on completely..
But many peoplr are telling me to adjust for the baby's sake...but inside I feel it won't work...
But when its coming to baby's future am afraid to take any step in hurry..
Am afraid being a single mom ll badly affect my baby's future..am cent percent confident tat I won't choose any other man in my life..
But plz suggest me frndz...am I taking wrong decision?? Should I adjust all the craps??
My parents told me to decide on my own.. Wat ever I ll decide they ll support..
As of now I got call letters from some colleges for lecturer job..
I know its personal but I dnt know with whom i share...u all are like my family now...so.plz guide me frndz..am in a shattered state not able to decide anything..plz help me..

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Snowflake0923tikitSherni_Jerry

siyappagirl Newbie
siyappagirl
siyappagirl

Joined: 21 February 2016
Posts: 19

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 11:47pm | IP Logged
Hey lavanya
I think u should move on..it will b better for u n ur daughter fututre...bcz if u will stay in this marriage then it will affect ur daughter also..she will b mentally tortured seeing u in this condition..i think u should move on n focus on ur carrier to secure ur n ur daughter future acc. to me

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amlavsSnowflake0923

areeba_blossom IF-Sizzlerz
areeba_blossom
areeba_blossom

Joined: 09 April 2010
Posts: 11387

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 11:56pm | IP Logged
Firstly, kudos to you for having the courage to speak up and not take any crap from anyone. Your husbands attitude and your mother in law sound like stereotypical people in our society.

Firstly, you should do what makes you happy. Even if the path alone is filled with struggles, and you know that you will be able to overcome it because you're happy and not being abused, then go forward.
As for your daughter, being a product of a loveless and abusove marriage, I would recommend you to keep her away from all the toxicity and negativity. Teach her to be strong and independent and self sufficient instead of depending on a man.

It's better for her to see value of hard work while growing up then to see her mother being abused by her grandmother and father everyday.

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amlavstikitSnowflake0923

twinjlover9 Senior Member
twinjlover9
twinjlover9

Joined: 25 April 2016
Posts: 760

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 12:01am | IP Logged
hlooo Lavanya
m new to this forum just joined it yesterday
i beleive in arranged marriges a lot so couldnt resist myself for suggesting
yaaa you shud move on it will be better for u and ur daghter if ur husband is really a very good person then he will surely come to u & till then u shud focus on ur carrier to give ur daughter a good life
 
 

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amlavsSnowflake0923

Snowflake0923 IF-Rockerz
Snowflake0923
Snowflake0923

Joined: 21 March 2016
Posts: 5809

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 12:13am | IP Logged
Hi Lavanya Di, 
I might be too small to suggest you anything.

But I have to tell you one think that you are very brave.
I really dont think you should adjust to them. 

Your little girl needs a happy atmosphere where she and her mother are treated with respect. 

So Di do take a decision that makes you happy.
U r a wonderful mother and will be able to take care of your baby girl very well.

Stay happy we all are there for u.
N u can share anything with us.
Smile 


Edited by harshi2000 - 26 April 2016 at 12:37am

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amlavs

amlavs IF-Dazzler
amlavs
amlavs

Joined: 21 March 2012
Posts: 2653

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 12:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by siyappagirl

Hey lavanya
I think u should move on..it will b better for u n ur daughter fututre...bcz if u will stay in this marriage then it will affect ur daughter also..she will b mentally tortured seeing u in this condition..i think u should move on n focus on ur carrier to secure ur n ur daughter future acc. to me
Thank u for ur kind words dear frnd...

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Snowflake0923

amlavs IF-Dazzler
amlavs
amlavs

Joined: 21 March 2012
Posts: 2653

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 12:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by areeba_blossom

Firstly, kudos to you for having the courage to speak up and not take any crap from anyone. Your husbands attitude and your mother in law sound like stereotypical people in our society.

Firstly, you should do what makes you happy. Even if the path alone is filled with struggles, and you know that you will be able to overcome it because you're happy and not being abused, then go forward.
As for your daughter, being a product of a loveless and abusove marriage, I would recommend you to keep her away from all the toxicity and negativity. Teach her to be strong and independent and self sufficient instead of depending on a man.

It's better for her to see value of hard work while growing up then to see her mother being abused by her grandmother and father everyday.
Thank u areeba... ur words gave me more courage to move on.
S my main motive is to keep my daughter safe...and wanted to give her a peaceful life...so only am fighting this much...
 

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Snowflake0923

Sherni_Jerry IF-Stunnerz
Sherni_Jerry
Sherni_Jerry

Joined: 17 July 2013
Posts: 28321

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 12:32am | IP Logged
Hi Lavanya i am pming this links to Samy and Gurleen. i am hopeful they will give you great advice.

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Snowflake0923asmaanixx

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