Posted: 23 April 2016 at 5:20am | IP Logged
|| YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL ||Nandini's POVAfter a long time, nearly 5 years if thats called long time i travelled back to my hometown all the way from Greece and step in my house which was home once upon a time till mom was here to scream around the house that what mess of a kid i was or till singing happily in kitchen to herself while making me pancakes with jam! Weird combo i know... But thats what i loved to have and my mom finds thats beautiful about me. God knows why! I guess the answer along with my mom left me to scratch my head all my life. I wish I really don't have to scratch my head for few questions which my life is not is a mood to answer, maybe my mom could have.
Right now, as unpredictable the life can be brings me to a point where i don't know WHO I AM. I dont know what i want, what my life wants from me. I am not able to locate myself. I wish i could have mom for that.
I notice the door ajar opposite Dad's bedroom which was probably my moms room once upon a time but cant be sure of what it is now.
Poking my head into making sure nothing is amiss - that things are still the same as i left when my mom left me-I am instantly smacked upside the head with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. f**k! f**k. f**k. f**k! I know deep in my gut instantly that I need to leave this room alone. I need to hightail it out of here.
Being a sucker stubborn over curious kid that I am, I find myself being unable to stop from wandering into My moms personal space.
I take everything in. There is a desk in the corner looking out over the pool. It is scattered with photos: of me, my mother, my father, family photos.
There is a laptop sitting amongst the memories. It is currently on screensaver - a picture of my mother and me. I smile looking at it. I must have been around seven or eight, standing to the side of a stage wearing a tatty costume with a huge grin on my face. My mother is leaning forward planting a kiss on the top of my head looking like a star even then. Long wavy locks tumbling down her back. Flawless pale skin, cute little button nose, eyes that sparkle, stunning smile. There was no doubt about it, she was one heck of most beautiful women in the world.
Blowing out a breath I take in the rest of the room. There is a bookshelf along the far wall, stuffed full of old books. More photos scatter the walls. It is like a sacred vault of memories which indeed it was. The room has a different feel about it than the rest of the house. It almost feels like walking back in time. Wooden floors, pale olive green paint on the walls, purple accents, old lamps, antique looking furniture. It has an old French cottage feel to it.
My mouth curls up into a smile when I spot photos of Our complete family and be it be fortunate or not was the last photograph amongst a photo collage on the wall. I instantly knew that now my moms room and her left space is finally invaded by dad seeing the add on photographs of me and a laptop on stand. Seriously dad can be really careless at times.
I run my fingers over the spines of the books. Most look like first editions. Old classics. romance novels; books that contain your typical male hero - dark haired, devastatingly handsome, saves the maiden in distress. Hearts and flowers. Blah, blah, blah.
One stands out immediately. 'You're beautiful '. I pull the book from the shelf gently. I opened up the book to give a look at the content randomly when a beautiful hand written notes caught my attention and started reading it.
You will find this book after i am gone or may be you will never get to acknowledge it but that fear doesn't stops me from writing this to you coz my faith in you is more than my fears. And i have that hope that you will one day eventually crash into my study room and certainly lay your eyes on this book. I even know that this book will only grab your attention if you are finding your life hard to face and probably wandering around for unsaid questions or maybe missing this old lady;)
I always wonder if i could ever get to mother you for all my life. What could i picture you as when you are in your teens. What would i say to you if i ever get a chance.
Uhmm ... Gossip less! Study more! Nah!
Maybe.. Dont cry if you are not the winner of basketball tournament.
Or may be just a line!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE.
You are beautiful.
You are more then a diamond, a rose , a pearl.
You eyes! They arent the perfect example to those stupid romantic lyrics of songs or described in novels.
No blue hazel or sth. They are dark brown like slow roasted almonds.
They are beautiful.
Your hair! Fizzy Ones that might need be pressured under a blow dryer every day but still are messy and untidy because they are as stubborn as you.
They are beautiful.
Never tie them up... Set them free and have their own ways with air.
Your crooked feet, the teeth that can scare the hell out of dentist even,the laughter that can be worst unwanted wake up alarm, and the habit of biting your lips, stuffing your mouth to an extent that make even escape of a word impossible from it.
They all are beautiful.
that true beauty comes from the ability to be yourself, no matter what sort of person you are. In our society so much emphasis is placed on looks that we've lost sight of what real beauty is. There isn't just one ideal when it comes to beauty as far as looks go, but what she's saying here is that there is one ideal for beauty, and that's to be yourself no matter what. It need courage to be yourself.
You are worthy more than you can imagine.
Worthy more than the number on ur skin scale or the hair product you use
Worthy more than the shoes you wear or how many girls wish they were you or how many guys wish they could have you.
Worthy more than the price tag on your clothes you wear or percentage on the top of your maths test.
Worthy more than the number of followers you have on twitter.
Regardless of what you think you are; whether a model on the magazine cober page or you model pottery with your dad.
Whether you are in the 'hot list' of the collage or in 'not list'
Whether you are head cheer leader or a high school drop out.
Whether you are miss popular or you dont have a person you can call friend.
You are more strong then you know and ; you are beautiful as you are.
Whether you love your life and love your self or you cant even face yourself in a mirror because your life is a deep shit and you think everything in your life is falling apart.
Regardless you think what you are; you are beautiful as you are.
If this makes you smirk at my stupidity of calling u beautiful even if i havent seen u in real then you are probably underestimating yourself.
People will tell you how to look ,how to behave ,what to say ,what not to say what to wear a what not to... Heck they are even gonna decide you eating schecdule. If you donot agree they will tell you that you are not a well behaved indian girl.
Before bending down to their rules, just for once ask them..
What is meaning of 'well behaved'
what is meaning of 'girl'
Instead of placing the blame on someone else for making you feel a certain way, take responsibility for letting them make you feel that way.
This isn't just true for feelings of inferiority, but for any negative feeling, sad, frustrated, disappointed, etc. You're the one that is in control of how you feel, and others can't bring you down unless you let them.
And talking about the rules of life or imposed by people around, if you obey all the rules then you have probably missed all the fun.
Oh! Dont think i am drunk because i am not, maybe! ;) but i mean'em
They say that some rules are made to be broken, and still others are made to be bent. I am not saying that you should break the law, but our society has so many rules put in place that if you conform to them all you might have a bland and vanilla time here. Find out which rules are getting in the way of some good clean fun, and test the boundaries.
Life isn't about staying within the lines, it's about doing what you want without getting in the way of others doing what they want.
You are more powerful than you know and more stronger which you still have to find out which is The power you have is to be the best version of yourself you can be, so you can create a better world around you for yourself.
Being the best version of yourself takes effort and a deliberate attempt to do so. You never really know what the best version of yourself is until you start to try to become it. You'll find that once you work on improving yourself, you'll discover a new way to get better, and it becomes a continual process. The opposite is also true, and should be avoided. If you let yourself slide, you'll find new ways to continue that slide and become a version of yourself you never wanted to be.
Thats what make you beautiful.
You are unique and imperfect but you are what you yourself are. Don't be a reflection of anyone... Don't dream to be like someone not even me... Dream to be you...
Your real value is find in what you are not what you have. Your flaws make you unique.. Don't hide them rather be proud of them that's what makes you beautiful.
Perfect is artificial but imperfect is beautiful and real.
A daughter is always beautiful for her mother but when you start seeing ur self from my eyes you will know how beautiful my daughter is!
"I am beautiful" I whispered between tears with a content smile which straightaway jumped out of my heart and could reflect in eyes.
"I love you mom!"I kissed the note and hugged the book tight which was not a book for me but my mom herself.
Edited by mishshergill - 23 April 2016 at 7:31am