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~ Building Life ~ (A Swadarsh FF) ~ Note, Page 76 (Page 22)

Sana_Jannat IF-Rockerz
Sana_Jannat
Sana_Jannat

Joined: 10 June 2014
Posts: 5049

Posted: 21 May 2016 at 10:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Soapoperasrfun

Originally posted by Sana_J.

u know i just love ur FF it reallly really good..i think 1 of the best FF i read..


there was few FF(written by Sameera) for which i was eagerly waiting & now ur FF is added in the list so im waiting for next..



I loved the way u Wrote /shaped Sinha's character ,Mama-mami,asad, & Ofcourse SwAdarsh ..


Adarsh-Mr.Gilani's conversation was nice though starting was Big smile


ooopss sorry for looong reply /post Smile


Hey Sana. Thanks for leaving such a long and nice comment. Truly appreciate itSmile.

I think that a lot of times powerful people are misunderstood. I want to believe that there can be good people everywhere, irrespective of social status, economic backgrounds etc. I am just trying to focus on those good's and my only effort is to create realistic characters (of-course based on my experience of reality).

Hopefully I can continue to keep these characters real till the end.Smile
Smile welcome Smile

i believe That Good & Bad r just both side of coin ,it depends on us how to use opportunities or how to react /behaves according to situation ...



Coming to ur FF ,yes the way Suhasini behaves its normal if U have friendly relation with ur parents .SwAdarsh's MU,its too common in life bcz sometimes we loves to assume Wink then their friendship or confusion or realization ,i dont think its out of world after all before friendships we need to comfortable with that person then Friendship And then other phrase ,The way Simmi react as Daughter its too normal ,Mama-mami ,asad and others too ok ,so may be thats why i liked it ,actually i dont know why i liked it but there is something in ur FF ,compelled me to read..
Smile


Edited by Sana_J. - 21 May 2016 at 10:19am

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Soapoperasrfun

Soapoperasrfun IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 17222

Posted: 22 May 2016 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
Confession, straight from the heart

A few more hours had passed. Adarsh sat with his eyes closed on a couch at a corner of the hospital room, trying to understand his emotions. Was he in love? Was this love? The thought itself made him feel happy. He felt relieved. He felt light hearted. He looked around and noticed that maamu was sitting by Swadheetna's bed side, still holding her hand, and resting with his eyes closed. But Adarsh! He couldn't sleep. He felt full of energy with the realization that he may be in love. He looked at Swadheenta, lying there with bandages all over, needles everywhere. For a second, he was again in turmoil. But his heart reassured him that she was safe. She was going to be alright. With that thought, he smiled again. In order to while away his time till she woke up, he tried every known rule in the guide book of love (mostly from Bollywood). He closed his eyes and tried to see the person that came in his mind's eye. He could immediately see Swadheenta, covered in blood. He opened his eyes. Shit! I still remember the accident. Kuch aur try karna padega. He thought he will try to imagine how he would feel if she left him and went away... he was again reminded of the accident. Arre yaar, hamesha ke liye nahi. Jeevan ke saat chali gayi type... chodo, kuch aur try karta hu... He tried to imagine waking up in the morning, seeing someone lying in his arms... he remembered how he had helped carry her to the ambulance. Damn this. Ab toh kuch acha socha bhi nahi jaa raha. 

Maamu suddenly woke up from his disturbed sleep because he felt Swadheenta move her fingers. He was sure that she will wake up soon, and looked towards Adarsh to let him know, only to listen to Adarsh mumbling to himself. For a second he thought that maybe he was dreaming or having a nightmare. Upon inspecting further, he realized that Adarsh was wide awake. He again smiled to himself. 

Good morning. Koi aur baat karne ke liye nahi bacha toh khud se hi baatein kar rahe ho? 

Maamu, good morning. Nahi, mein toh bas, aise hi

Maamu looked at Swadheenta who was occasionally moving her fingers even though she was unconscious. Still looking at her, he asked Adarsh - Kuch kehna hai?

Nahi maamu, aisa kuch nahi hai. Adarsh kept looking everywhere else but at maamu.

Doubt mein ho? Pyaar hai ki nahi?

Kya? Aapko kaise pata?

Haahahhahahahha. Aapse bade hai Adarsh baabu. Zyada experience hai.

Adarsh just smiled and blushed.

Teek hai, ek kaam karte hai. Jab humaare haath mein kuch nahi hai, toh Allah pe chod dena chahiye. Chod de unpe?

Adarsh just nodded his head

Maamu knew he needed a small push. Ok. Ab thodi der ke liye mein ghar jaake aata hu. Agar mere, ya kisi aur ke aane se pehle Swadheenta ko hosh aa gaya, toh tumhe usko bolna padega ki tum uske baare mein kya sochne lage ho. 

Kya? Lekin kyon?

Kyonki iska matlab yahi hoga na ki Allah tumhe mauke de rahe hai, akele mein Swadheenta se baat karne ka?

Haan? Iska yeh matlab hoga?

Aur nahi toh kya? Abhi toh bola mujhe zyada experience hai... bharosa nahi hai kya mujhpe.

Nahi maamu, aisa nahi hai. Par, mein toh khud nahi jaanta pakke se ki mein usse pyaar...

Itna toh pata chal gaya na ki woh dost se zyada important hai? Wahi bol do?

Acha

Maamu could feel Swadheenta holding on to his hands tighter. It was now a matter of minutes, and he had to leave if Adarsh was to say anything to her at all. Ok, toh mein chala. Tum baito yaha pe. Iske paas

Adarsh hesitantly got up from the couch and came to sit besides Swadheenta. Maamu encouraged him to hold her hand, just like he had been doing some time ago. 

Leaving him there, holding her hand, maamu walked out of the room. Just as he was about to leave the door, he looked back once more. He felt a sense of complete contentment seeing the both of them together. His daughter was in safe hands.

Adarsh sat there, holding on to her hand as softly as he could. He kept looking at her with reverence. While holding her hand, he closed his eyes and recounted everything that happened in a flash again. With each replay, he was becoming more and more certain of her importance in his life. He wasn't sure in what capacity he needed her, but he was certain that he needed her. 

He was brought back to the present when he felt her stir a little. He looked at her to see that she was still sleeping. He wondered what he was going to say to her when she woke up, and thought it to be a good idea to practice some - 

Swadheenta, woh mein... nahi. Swadheenta, tumhe aise dhek ke mujhe bahut bura lag raha hai? Stupid Adarsh, bura toh kisi ko bhi lagega na. Teek se soch. Acha, I will look at the wall and practise. Usko dekhta rahuna toh aur nervous ho jaaoonga. 

He turned to face the wall, while still holding on to her hand. The slight movement of his hands when he turned to face the wall woke Swadheenta up. She was still a little groggy from all the medicines and found that her throat was completely dry. She was trying to make sense of her surroundings, and the pounding headache she felt, when she saw him. His back was facing her, but there was no mistaking who it was. And then she looked at the way he held her hands. Was she dreaming? Where was she? Was she dead? She kept looking at him, not knowing what was happening.

Swadheenta, jab hum pehli baar milne waale the, tab tumse milne se pehle hi maine soch liya tha ki yeh sab work-out nahi hoga. Mein mana karne waala tha. Bahut ajeeb lag raha tha ki mom mujhe set-up kar rahi thi, apni assistant ke saath. Lekin jab maine tumhe dheka, toh mein mana nahi kar paaya. Mujhe laga ki woh isi liye tha kyonki tum ek bahut achi ladki ho. Mein kuch bhi karke tumhe hurt nahi karna chahta tha. I was being a gentleman you know. Socha, mu pe mana karna acha nahi rahega. Lekin mein khud bhi jaanta hu, ki mujhe hamara woh lunch acha kaga tha, aur isi liye maine mana nahi kiya tha. I felt so comfortable with you. Uske baad mein inti baar mil chuka hu tumse. Jagada kiya hai, misunderstandings hue hai, lekin sab kuch tumhare saath suljhana kitna aasaan tha. Pata hi nahi chala kaise.

Adarsh continued to practice what he hoped to tell her without knowing that Swadheenta was listening to everything he was saying. He continued to face the wall and hence couldn't see the tears that were rolling down her eyes. When Swadheenta realized what was happening, she couldn't believe it. She truly must be in heaven, for despite the pain and the discomfort, she felt extreme happiness listening to his words. She would have been happy with just him being in the same room as her, but listening to his words just chocked her with emotions. As overwhelmed as she was, she let him continue without interrupting him.  

I believed that it was because we had become good friends. Hum ek dusre ko samajne lage the, ache friends ki tarah. And I was happy with it. Khush tha mein. Phir, maamu se tumhari shaadi ke baare mein suna. Sach bolunga, I was a little taken aback, but did not feel like I was heart-broken. I was ok with you getting married to someone else... or so I thought. The last few hours have told me more about myself than I ever knew. Uss ek pal, jab maine tumhe dheka, lifeless in Asad's arms.. meri saasein ruk gayi. I couldn't breathe. Mujhe sach mein laga ki agar tumhe kuch ho jaayega toh mein phir kabhi bhi zindagi mein khush nahi reh paaoonga. It felt like that was it. That was the end of everything for me too. Nahi jaane de sakta tha tumhe. Tumhare liye nahi, balki mere liye. I need you. I need you to be alright for myself. 

As much as she tried, Swadheenta could not stop the sob that escaped her lips at his pure confession. Adarsh quickly turned around, he hadn't realized that she was listening to him. They kept looking at each other for a few moments. No words were needed. Unknowing to him, even Adarsh had tears in his eyes. Without their knowledge, the hold of their hands had gotten stronger, tighter.

Now, looking into her eyes, Adarsh continued Mein nahi jaanta ki yeh kya hai... nahi jaanta ki mein tumse pyaar karta hu ya nahi. Lekin in kuch hours mein mein yeh samaj gaya Swadheenta ki tumhare bagair mein khush nahi reh paaoonga. Tum jitni khushi meri zindagi mein laayi ho, mujhe nahi pata if I will be able to match it. But mein koshish karna chahta hu. Will you give me a chance? Kya tum zindagi bhar mere saath rahogi? 


Edited by Soapoperasrfun - 04 June 2016 at 7:33am

The following 17 member(s) liked the above post:

6130dcchristyparijatduttaSharmi_swadarshIvvySweetSausonakshi.sharmapiyushiCuty16.Harshita.dh19AnnzSageflower7-Sarcy-Sana_JannatAalina...Jemimah..MysticRiver

-Sarcy- IF-Rockerz
-Sarcy-
-Sarcy-

Joined: 22 September 2015
Posts: 9704

Posted: 22 May 2016 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
Adarsh is such a cartoon! LOL

Adarsh and Maamu conversations since the past few updates have been a delight to read - full of humour and jovial banter.
But Adarsh's confession was a beautiful moment. All his emotions and feelings came gushing out and so did Swadheenta's tears. So they both meant more to each other than either accepted or was even aware. Lovely! Can't wait for their moments to begin. :)

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dcchristySoapoperasrfun

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Posted: 22 May 2016 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
Adarsh baba u r d cutest thing I ever see. 
Adarsh n mamu. I love their bonding.  Mamu is so understanding. Adarsh baba kuch seekho.. Finally swa get the bestest thing. They deserve each other.  Confession Day Dreaming

And reading ur ff is the most pleasant thing in the morning.. I just login n get the pm.. I was like.. Yupeee.. Thanks pri.. Lobe u 

Continue soon 

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Soapoperasrfun

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Soapoperasrfun

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Posts: 17222

Posted: 23 May 2016 at 12:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Sarcy-

Adarsh is such a cartoon! LOL

Adarsh and Maamu conversations since the past few updates have been a delight to read - full of humour and jovial banter.
But Adarsh's confession was a beautiful moment. All his emotions and feelings came gushing out and so did Swadheenta's tears. So they both meant more to each other than either accepted or was even aware. Lovely! Can't wait for their moments to begin. :)

He is a shy and simple guy but fun loving too. He is a cartoon really, just happy with his new found feelings. 

Maamu is one of my favorite characters in the show too. He is just so amazing. And here too, he is one of the best, wanting the best for his children and going out to his way to ensure to get it.

I think you say some of the more beautiful things when it comes directly from the heart. Emotional moments cannot be thought out in the head. The more natural the better. But as emotional as Adarsh is, he is also a practical guy. That is why he wanted to go over what he was going to say to her. But Allah had different plans... I was just re-reading what I had written after reading your comment. It did feel nice, his confession that is. 

Swadheenta already knew that Adarsh was better than Jeevan. But that was her practical side. She was too scared to upset her father and hence had her emotions bottled up. She just didn't want to face it. Maamu had seen that, as had Asad. And Adarsh, we have seen his turmoil. So, yes. Both of them like each other more than they even knew. 

I have a plan for her confession. Let us see if I can execute it well.. Embarrassed

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-Sarcy-

Soapoperasrfun IF-Sizzlerz
Soapoperasrfun
Soapoperasrfun

Joined: 09 November 2010
Posts: 17222

Posted: 23 May 2016 at 12:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Aalina.

Adarsh baba u r d cutest thing I ever see. 
Adarsh n mamu. I love their bonding.  Mamu is so understanding. Adarsh baba kuch seekho.. Finally swa get the bestest thing. They deserve each other.  Confession Day Dreaming

And reading ur ff is the most pleasant thing in the morning.. I just login n get the pm.. I was like.. Yupeee.. Thanks pri.. Lobe u 

Continue soon 

Embarrassed Thank you.

I know, Maamu is the best! And Adarsh, what he is feeling is new to him. He has not been in love before... but he is learning fast LOL.

Swa lost consciousness after the accident while listening to Adarsh, and opened her eyes to see him with her. I thought that was so cute. 

Will try and update again in the next couple of days
MysticRiver IF-Addictz
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Posted: 23 May 2016 at 1:10am | IP Logged
too good...Clap
Soapoperasrfun IF-Sizzlerz
Soapoperasrfun
Soapoperasrfun

Joined: 09 November 2010
Posts: 17222

Posted: 23 May 2016 at 1:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by MysticRiver

too good...Clap

Thank you Smile

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