Thoughts - The shadows of our feelings!
Headache! Adarsh had a throbbing, nagging headache since his breakfast with the Ginali's. He had hoped to get a hot cup of coffee as soon as he reached work, but did not have a chance as he had to run to attend a meeting. That is all he had been doing since morning, running between meetings and working on reports that were soon approaching deadlines. The constant headache had been bothering him. He thought he might be coming down with a flu. When he reached home, he hoped to get some dinner and take some medicine and relax for a while. He also has some pending reports to work on and knew this was going to be a long night. He did not like that prospect.
He found that he had been unable to enjoy dinner too. That truly bothered him, and he was now sure that he was taking ill. He had his favorite dishes on the table, yet did not have an appetite for it. After eating some, he excused himself and went back to his room to get some much needed medicine.
Adarsh's aloofness at dinner had not gone unnoticed by Suhasani. She wondered if he was falling sick, and decided to check on him after before calling it a night. She sat with the others for a while after dinner, and when everyone retired for the day, went in to the kitchen to make some green tea for herself and Adarsh. Once ready, she walked with the 2 mugs to his room. When she knocked the room and did not hear him respond, she slowly opened to check if had fallen asleep. She was surprised to see him in his balcony, oblivious to everything around him. She walked in, and nudged him to make him aware of her presence. He was quickly brought back to the present, and looked at her for a second to regain his composure
Mom, aap, yaha? Kab aayi?
Tabhi tab mera beta itna khoya hua tha ki mere knock bhi sunai nahi diya usko. Kya hua hai?
Pata nahi mom. Subha se ek headache hai. Jaa hi nahi raha. I took a tablet at work too... aur abhi bhi liya hai. Maybe I am falling sick or something.
Acha, dheku toh? She touched his forehead to check for a temperature. He didn't have one.
Temperature toh nahi hai. Subha tum breakfast pe bhi nahi the. Bahar kuch kha liya kya?
Nahi mom. Woh, I had been invited to have breakfast by a professor that I met at Delhi university yesterday. Breakfast toh bahut acha tha. Infact, waha jaa kar hi pata chala ki woh Swadheenta ke maamu hai. I had breakfast with her and her family.
Suhasini could tell that he was lying because he avoided meeting her eyes. She smiled to herself. Acha, very nice. Mujhe bhi milna chahiye unse. Phone pe baat hui hai meri, but I have not had a chance to meet them.
Haan mom, bahut ache log hai. Woh khud bhi pooch rahe the aapke baare mein. Invite karna chah rahe the. Maybe they will call you sometime.
Hummm. Dekte hai. Tum aaraam karlo. Maybe you have a headache because you had a tiring day.
Maybe mom. Mein so jaata hu.
Teek hai. Green tea pe lena. It might help.
Green tea? Mom aap mere liye green tea leke aaye. Maine toh notice hi nahi kiya. Aap aayiye na. Saath mein peete hai?
Are you sure?
Ek baat bolu? Zyada tar, tabeeyat theek hone par bhi headache aaye, toh iska matlab yeh hai ki koi baat hai jo thume pareshaan kar raha hai. Maybe something at work? Kuch hua hai kya?
Adarsh took a few sips of his green tea. Nahi mom, aisa toh kuch nahi hua hai office mein
Toh, subha Swadheenta ke ghar pe kuch hua?
It is then that it hit Adarsh as to what had been bothering him. No, he was extremely fond of Swadheenta and had come to know her as a really nice person. They had become friends too and had helped each other many times. But he was not in love with her. He had not been hurt by what he heard this morning about her alliance with Jeevan. But he now realized that what bothered him was the fact that she seemed unhappy about it. Her eyes had become sad upon hearing about Jeevan. He then recollected that he had heard her mentioning to Asad about her dislike for Jeevan during that eventful phone conversation that had led to their first misunderstanding. So why wasn't she refusing to marry him?
Woh, aaj Prof Gilani was mentioning that Swadheenta's dad has chosen a boy for her for her marriage.
Kya? Swadheenta never told me anything about it. Agar aisa tha toh woh tumhare saath lunch pe kyon gayi?
Aisa nahi hai mom. I think even she was surprised by that revelation. Usko bhi nahi pata tha
What? I mean, I know ki woh ek bahut conservative family ko belong karti hai. Interview ke time mein hi bataya tha usne mujhe. Lekin itna ki usse pooche bagair ladka finalize karde?
Pata nahi. Lag toh aise hi raha tha
Are you upset? Do you like her?
Hahahahha. These are 2 unrelated questions mom. Anyways, I like her. Love her, I don't know. I dont think so. I mean, kaale baadal gher liye mujhe, dil toot ke choor choor ho gaya, nothing of that sort... She is a very nice girl. Par ab tak hum sirf friends hi hai. I was taken aback, I will be honest about that. But itna nahi ki zyada farak pade. Par maine usko dheka mom. Mein usko ched na chah tha tha, you know, just tease her about an engagement etc. Lekin jab maine usko dheka, uski ankhon ko dheka, mein kar nahi paaya. She looked sad and hurt mom. Mujhe nahi lagta woh yeh shaadi karna chahti hai. Aur yeh baat mujhe achi nahi lag rahi.
Hummm. I can understand. Aur knowing her background, pata nahi kaun sa pressure hai. Tum usse pooch kyon nahi lete? Dost ho uski?
Mein poochoonga toh woh batayegi thodi na? aap poocho na mom? You women have ways to read through people's feelings and all. Mein toh sirf face value pe pooch ke chod doonga.
You think she wont mind if I ask her?
Kyon? Usko toh pata hi hoga ki maine aapko bataya hoga..
Kyon? Kyonki mere beta mujhse sab kuch share karta hai? Mumma's boy ki tarah?
Mom, aap bhi na... aisi koi baat nahi hai. Ab aapki assistant hai, toh aapko bolunga hi na?
Acha bachu, toh tu mumma's boy nahi hai? Sab kuch nahi batayge mujhe?
Hahahahhaha. Nahi mom. Nahi bataoonga.
Badmaash.. Anyways, thuje sach mein pata hai na ki tu usse pyaar vyaar nahi karne laga hai? Ek soft corner bhi nahi?
Nahi mom. Soft corner hai, but she is just a dear friend. And I don't want anything wrong happening with her. At the moment, I dont think I love her. Lekin agar ho gaya, usse ya phir kisi aur se, you will be the first one to know