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Darkness - A very dark OS (Page 3)

Malu710 Groupbie
Malu710
Malu710

Joined: 11 January 2016
Posts: 153

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:34am | IP Logged
this is absolutely brilliant! You've got some creativity up in your head. i liked how it turned into a psychological thriller. Really amazed by your talent. And ofcourse, the language is spot on. I especially liked the introduction. it's good to read the story from Bihaan's pov and also from the culprit's pov(who was quite surprising). The way you dealt with the whole scene is remarkable as well. it takes courage to go on to grave details like how the head was shattered and later on buried. you've got a flair for writing. please keep working harder on it, and who knows, we may even see a novelist in this forum Wink

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rtmsMimiii22Karaali

kapiri Senior Member
kapiri
kapiri

Joined: 29 January 2016
Posts: 318

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:38am | IP Logged
I read ds twice and twice to understandWacko
i was like SillyDead
phir laga wo insaan dhruv hoga
par baujiShocked(kabi nahi socha thaConfused)
Ur wrtng ws exlntClap
the wrds r exprs evry flngs 
his pain ws wll writtenCry
muje wrds nahi he abhi kahnekeliye
rly amzng... Hug


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Karaali

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7394

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sweet_Desires

Umm..what should I say? I have read this kind of genre before so I didn't cringe..I you have read The Kite Runner, you would understand. You are right..there are all kinds of people in this world. 
Keep on writing..Thumbs Up

Unfortunately abuse and violence related to abuse are so common place that most people do not realize it from their sheltered positions in life.

I have done some work with abused women. It is soul wrenching. This is nothing compared to what many  go through.

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rtms

rtms IF-Dazzler
rtms
rtms

Joined: 22 July 2011
Posts: 3912

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:39am | IP Logged
Katori,u hv written it well.but too unpleasant n disturbing.happy,I could complete it but with much difficulty dearDead

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Karaali

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7394

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kowsi

Katori I don't know what to say! The first part was so beautifully painful 
I just couldn't digest that killing and taking the head part... I am just not into this

But when you wrote about Bihaan's pain it was just too good.. I knew that it was Bauji ;)

May be taking the head was too much but abusers often get violent when they lose control on their victim. 

I am glad you like Bihaan POV part. It had to be Bauji as he had the position and power to enable him to hold on to his victim for a long time.Smile


Edited by Katori - 22 April 2016 at 3:49am

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Kowsi

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7394

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:45am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Malu710

this is absolutely brilliant! You've got some creativity up in your head. i liked how it turned into a psychological thriller. Really amazed by your talent. And ofcourse, the language is spot on. I especially liked the introduction. it's good to read the story from Bihaan's pov and also from the culprit's pov(who was quite surprising). The way you dealt with the whole scene is remarkable as well. it takes courage to go on to grave details like how the head was shattered and later on buried. you've got a flair for writing. please keep working harder on it, and who knows, we may even see a novelist in this forum Wink

Thank you. I am glad you liked it. I am experimenting with genre right now but love to see the same thing from different perspectives. Gives me a chance to explore the same situation in more detail.

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Malu710

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7394

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by kapiri

I read ds twice and twice to understandWacko
i was like SillyDead
phir laga wo insaan dhruv hoga
par baujiShocked(kabi nahi socha thaConfused)
Ur wrtng ws exlntClap
the wrds r exprs evry flngs 
his pain ws wll writtenCry
muje wrds nahi he abhi kahnekeliye
rly amzng... Hug



Thank you! I know it is dark and disturbing piece and tough to read. 

Bauji is only person who could do some thing this - long term abuse requires power and position.

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kapiri

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7394

Posted: 22 April 2016 at 3:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rtms

Katori,u hv written it well.but too unpleasant n disturbing.happy,I could complete it but with much difficulty dearDead

Thanks for reading. This piece is dark and disturbing and not for the faint of heart. I am glad  you were able to get through it even though it was difficult. Smile

 

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rtms

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