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Darkness - A very dark OS

Karaali IF-Rockerz
Karaali
Karaali

Joined: 06 January 2011
Posts: 7391

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
WARNING!!

This is a very dark OS with threads of pedophilia, homosexuality, and abuse. PLEASE it is NOT for gentle, positive souls. 

This is on special request from some of the members. AND YES Bihaan dies. So think before you scroll down to read. There is no humor.

I will not be offended if you decide to skip this OS LOLLOLLOL
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Love is a very destructive force he said out aloud playing with his gun. There was no one to listen but the wind howled as if in agreement. He pointed his gun at his target and started laughing like madman. The said target was the head of his beloved hanging on a pole. It was the dead of the night with only the moonlight showing him his target. His body swayed but his hands were steady as he made a perfect shot. The head disappeared from the pole, blown into pieces, scattered on the ground. He sank on his knees and cried pitifully as he rolled on the ground.


-------


"Why are you behaving so childishly with Thapki these days?" Suman Bhabhi called out before she went into the kitchen.


"No..." I started but stopped as there was no one to listen. ".. I am not behaving childishly" I continued in my head. I don't trust her anymore and I am trying to maintain my distance from her. I blinked rapidly to avoid the tears that threatened to resurface. Her betrayal had reinforced how worthless anything I had offer was and good-for-nothing I was.


I had married Thapki under Maa's pressure. She has used every weapon in her arsenal to get me to do so - emotional blackmail, threat of suicide, reminders of the past. I was guilt-ridden that I had destroyed her life but never regretted the decision for myself for Thapki brought light in my life. She hated me but I could not help myself and help her whenever she was in trouble. Family came first for her and she believed in everything good. Her inherent goodwill for everyone brought hope to me, something I lost a long age when I lost my childhood.


I do not know and will probably never know when I fell for Thapki, but she became the one bright spot in my life. Her smile was a balm to my wounds and her touch brought solace my soul. When she was with me, I could let go of my fears. I felt safe with her.


I wanted her love when I proposed. More than love, I wanted, no... needed her acceptance, her trust. Love is a transient emotion that brings suffering with it and who would know it better than me.


Bauji had brought me here when I was just 10 years old - a household full of boys. I quickly became a part of the family, the youngest of the four boisterous boys, running around; making mischief. We played together, were in trouble together and got out of it together. We became inseparable in every way. I now had a name, an identity, a home, and a family. What more could anyone ask? This is one question I have learned not to ask as time is an amazing teacher and can change everything for a better or worse in an instant.


One day I came home late after a long day at the local playground playing cricket and biking around. I was getting ready for the bed when he came into to talk about the day. We sat on the bed making jokes and planning for tomorrow, when his hands started to sneaked under my night shorts. I jerked his hand away in an instant thinking it was an accident, but then it came again. Shocked, I looked straight into his eyes and saw only reassurance there and any protest that may have come, died on my lips. It was a long night. He was gone before the first light of dawn reminding me to keep it between us. This was the forbidden love that was our secret and only for us to cherish. I was only fourteen.


Next morning I was confused, restless. Nothing felt right but I did not know what to do, who to talk to. What could I tell them? I went to Maa, not to tell her, but just to see her, to get some love. She looked at me carefully and she knew. I knew that she knew and she knew that I knew. The little love that I had seen in her eyes was immediately replaced by loathing. It was my fault. I was the perpetrator in her eyes and she was right. I could have protested but didn't.


I would lay in bed every night, dreading if tonight was the night when he would come. He came rarely. Just when I would start thinking may it was over and learn to sleep again, he would come again. Tears became friends of the lonely nights and the helplessness enveloped my soul.  There was no escape. He did not need threats, it was all written in his eyes.


"I love you. You are my joy" He would whisper in my ears and I would cringe. "Say you love me" he would laugh and I did not dare to refuse. "I love you"..


Love had not brought me safety or happiness, just nightmares. He laughed at me when Thapki rejected me. "I told you. Didn't I? You are not worthy of anything. I am the only one who can love you despite your worthlessness." I believed him.


---


It was a lousy day. I was unable to vacate both houses I was supposed to. My bike met with an accident injuring my foot. I limped into the bedroom late that night. My foot was swollen and very painful by this time. Thapki was waiting for me with a bucket of ice water and dressing supplies.

"How did you know"

"Your friend called. Sit down and I will dress the wound."

"I will be fine. You go to bed."

She came towards me and before I could understand what she was going to do, she pushed me on to the green couch and sat down on the floor to do the dressing. I tried to pull my foot away and she just glared at me continued with her work. After the dressing was complete, she helped me change. There were no words. Finally I settled on the couch to sleep, she came and sat down with me.

"We need to talk" I did not say anything.

"I know I betrayed you but I had to know the truth about our marriage. I am sorry for lying to you." She paused waiting for me to say something. I did not say anything.

"I love you" She blurted out of nowhere. I was still silent as I did not know what to say. She waited to see if I was going to say anything but I didn't.

"I love you but I am scared of you. There is a darkness in you that I cannot understand. There are secrets that I know you will not tell me. I know you were going to propose me that day but I was not ready as I did not know if I could love without fully trusting you. I realized over the last few days that I don't have a choice anymore. I love you as you are - with your faults, your secrets."

That was our beginning - yes, mine and Thapki.


She would ask me why was I scared of love. If there was someone else? Did someone hurt me? Why was I so closed that no one knew how I was feeling? Why did I have bear it all alone? What was I hiding? I would just shake my head. How could I tell her about him? He who was still there and will always be. "I am just afraid of love as I am an orphan and that insecurity never leaves me" I would say or some variation of this. She would be unconvinced but take my word for it. "I will give so much love that you will forget everything bad. We will always be there for each other." She would promise and wrap her arms around me in a tight hug. I never felt safer than that.


Thapki was true to her promise. She doted on me, took care of every like and dislike of mine, made me the center of her universe. I spent every minute I could find with her. We went for long walks, spent lazy afternoons making love, and danced all night. There was nothing right or wrong. It was just our time to do what we wanted to do.

My demons never left me even in these happy times but I did not let them overshadow her happiness. She deserved to be happy. I cherished her but feared what would happen if she came to know about him. How would I face? I was ashamed of myself for not being able to stop him, of being afraid of him. Would she reject me if she knew how weak I was and how I let him take advantage of me? I hated myself for deceiving her and prayed for understanding and forgiveness on her part when she would know. Sometimes I thought would go insane with all these contradictory feelings, swinging between hope and despair in seconds.


-------


My dark secret became a wall between us that even her love could not surpass. She was in pain, and this pain hurt me as much as it hurt her. It was more powerful than the bond I had with him. It gave me the courage to break free from him and his chains. I was angry with myself for letting this go on for so long, letting this hurt her. It was my fault.  

 


I told him no more. "I will tell her everything and then it is her choice whether to accept me or not"

"You cannot tell her. This is our love, between you and me."

I was silent and my silence answered him.


"Then this is end... " he said slowly moving closer to me to put his hand on my chest. "One last time for old times sake.." Every fiber in my being was repulsed. There were no happy times to remember or celebrate but could say no. He still had power over me. I wanted to run but I moved towards the bed. It was just this last time. I was going to make sure of it.


I fell into an uneasy sleep while he was still caressing my hair, when I woke up to a piercing pain in my neck. The blood was spurting from the artery at the based of my neck. I looked at him in shock but he has same reassuring look on his face that I saw 12 years ago, when he came to me for the first time. I knew this was the end, as I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to the darkness.

 

-------


He had seen their growing closeness but had refused believe that Bihaan cared for her. He burned with jealousy when he place his hands around her waist - that should be his waist. The thought of them making love made him recoil.

Bihaan was only his to own and love. Only he had rights over him. Why did Bihaan marry her, he did not know nor care. All he knew was that, that tramp was temporary. Who could trust a woman who first loved one guy and then another in just a few months? Just an opportunist waiting for a better catch! Surely Bihaan could see that. Love can make one blind. He reasoned with Bihaan, pleaded with him, but Bihaan refused to listen. And... then Bihaan wanted to let go of him.


No! that was not going happen. Never. Bihaan was his and only his.


"You belong to me" he whispered in his ear as Bihaan lay bleeding.


He started wailing as life receded from Bihaan. He sat there for a long time before sadness was replaced by rage - rage towards Bihaan. Why did he have to fall in love with someone else and destroy them? "Why did you betray me and my love?" he asked. He went mad when he got no response. He sliced the head off the body with one swift blow of the knife and carried it into the woods behind the house in the darkness of the night. He reached the old, burnt stables behind the house, far away from the prying eyes, and hung the head on one of the few still standing poles

----


Early light of dawn began to appear over the horizon. He sat up slowly as he felt the morning breeze. His tears had dried but the pain was sharp as before. He got up slowly and began collecting the pieces of the head. They were too precious to him to let anyone else near them.


He dug a shallow grave under a neem tree for the head with his bare hands. He put the pieces in the grave and loving reassembled the pieces as much as he could. The lifeless eyes staring back him seem to say "I am free and you are not. I don't belong to you anymore". They were laughing at him.

"No! You are mine! Only mine." he screamed furiously before quickly covering those eyes and the head with mud. He anger disappeared just as quickly as it had come. He sat down next to the grave, patting the mound of mud gently. He did not need a marker for the grave. This was not a place he would forget.


He was numb by this time and sat there for who knows how long, staring vacantly into space. He did not hear her approach him but felt her light touch on his shoulder.

"Let us go home. What's done is done." He got up reluctantly and clutched on to her hand. He needed her. "Vasundharaji, I am sorry.. It was beyond my control." and glanced at the mud mound one last time before walking back home with her.




Edited by Katori - 21 April 2016 at 10:12pm

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P.D.Dutta IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 8878

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
I think I am gonna puke.. No offence, Katori

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Karaali

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Posts: 7391

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dplee

I think I am gonna puke.. No offence, Katori

None taken! The whole concept requires guts of steel. 

Just exploring genres!!  
P.D.Dutta IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Katori

Originally posted by Dplee

I think I am gonna puke.. No offence, Katori

None taken! The whole concept requires guts of steel. 

Just exploring genres!!  

That's good...even the writing is excellent. It's just out of my taste.

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Karaali

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Karaali
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dplee

Originally posted by Katori

Originally posted by Dplee

I think I am gonna puke.. No offence, Katori

None taken! The whole concept requires guts of steel. 

Just exploring genres!!  

That's good...even the writing is excellent. It's just out of my taste.

Not too many takers for this type of stuff as it is painful to read. Explores the worst of human nature. 

Thanks for the compliment about writing!




Edited by Katori - 21 April 2016 at 10:44pm
-Ila- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
That was... Unpleasant... didnt expect the culprit to be ... You know

But that doesnt mean the story is bad ... Yes it was bad in the sense of the plot being dark... But it was really good in the story pov.. I think u should write something like this more often... Heard of wattpad ..try posting there .. You will be surprised by the no. Of ppl who love this genre... Really write more often...not fan fics but original stories...I am sure you will be a star

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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Lachu-

That was... Unpleasant... didnt expect the culprit to be ... You know

But that doesnt mean the story is bad ... Yes it was bad in the sense of the plot being dark... But it was really good in the story pov.. I think u should write something like this more often... Heard of wattpad ..try posting there .. You will be surprised by the no. Of ppl who love this genre... Really write more often...not fan fics but original stories...I am sure you will be a star

Thanks! I write medical and technical manuals professionally, which my writing stiff and linear. 

This is the first time I am dabbling in fiction. FF are easier as the characters are given. Once I can figure out a genre that works for me, I will try my hand at full-fledged fiction. 

Thanks for reading and sorry for leaving a bad taste in your mouth. 

I was going to write an epilogue with scenes from the show that justified the OS but then that would make it hard for the readers to watch the show and not think about the OS.

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oceanbubble

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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
freaking out smiley
AAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAS THAT BALVINDER PANDEY...??

& the whole time I was thinking it was Dhruv... LOLLOLLOL


Well...coming to the story, it was a good piece of writing...considering the warning at the beginning, I was REALLY scared to the core to continue, but decided to test myself...& I passed this test...

I really enjoyed reading this piece, & that is a discovery for me...I never knew I could like something like this...I never really liked something like this...This has taken me by surprise as I only like happy endings, & I am a sucker for romance...!!

Maybe it was because you have indeed written it very well...& the last part was an absolute shocker...!

That Bauji would be the one to do THAT...to Bihaan...Now I have started doubting his intentions for bringing Bihaan home...LOLLOLLOL

Naah...that won't happen in the show for sure...so I can breathe...LOLLOL

A fine piece of writing Katori...Loved it...Clap

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