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Akdha OS: Come back Jo!! updated (23/4/2016) (Page 15)

melovesja IF-Rockerz
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melovesja

Joined: 26 June 2015
Posts: 5330

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 10:54pm | IP Logged

I like your choice of plot.Tongue very well put on  how one misunderstanding or a momently mistrust ruin the life of family and how the child go through in that situation. payal you are v good at emotion writing but here you so beautifully written about broken heart man who feel he lost his life and reason to live his love and his princess for ever.

"she is not here to say I am with you jalal..." for a min. I thought she died or what but you very well use those lines to describe his condition. whole scan in front of ruku was one is pour out hurt and anger other was embarrassed and shocked. in her self agony she can't read his facial expression . the man's fault is he want to prevent his family from stress which is not went  well with the situation. I like ruku's role and happy ending which is apt as title. their reunion was lovely.

I love the fb part were he was remembered their precious moment. 

ruku is like sister LOL

all in all it's superb. you have excellent hold on os writing .Clap keep writing with different plots because you are excellently  write  description, emotion and your hots are hot favoriteWink so keep rocking deari.Big smile



Edited by melovesja - 26 April 2016 at 7:26am

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sharmacatty

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sharmacatty
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Posts: 16674

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 11:44pm | IP Logged
Thankyou so much mitali for this wonderful comment.StarStarStar
You had already commented superb os so I was not expecting ur comment hereLOL
I am lil busy today. Will reply soon dear!!Smile

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melovesja

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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 1:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sharmacatty

Thankyou so much mitali for this wonderful comment.StarStarStar
You had already commented superb os so I was not expecting ur comment hereLOL
I am lil busy today. Will reply soon dear!!Smile

LOL surprise 


Edited by melovesja - 26 April 2016 at 1:52am

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sharmacatty

sharmacatty IF-Sizzlerz
sharmacatty
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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 4:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by melovesja

Originally posted by sharmacatty

Thankyou so much mitali for this wonderful comment.StarStarStar
You had already commented superb os so I was not expecting ur comment hereLOL
I am lil busy today. Will reply soon dear!!Smile

LOL surprise 
LOL
pleasant surpriseStarStar

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melovesja

sharmacatty IF-Sizzlerz
sharmacatty
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Posts: 16674

Posted: 26 April 2016 at 5:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CindyTruong

Lovely OS...Payal
>> Thankyou cindy!!Smile

Jo misunderstood Ja ...and she left him...
Why Ja didn't share his problem with Jo...
>>> Because he didn't want to stress her naOuch

Ruk is the reason for JaJo's separation again...but this time you changed her ...she cleared the misunderstanding between them...
>>> Yep.. Ruks is not bad but I was laughing that she got slapped for no mistakeLOL

Ja's pov is awesome...he miss his wife and his princess...
Amaya so cute...
>>> Oh I love amayaHeart

Finally Jo come back...happy ending...
i always love the stories have happy ending...
>>> Mee too like happy ending of stories dear Big smile

Thanks for pm...dear..
>>> You're welcome!!Smile


Thanks for reading and commenting dearHug

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SomeoneloveJA

sharmacatty IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 5:55am | IP Logged
Originally posted by cute.manasi

emotive plot ...smiley face crying emoticon

>>> Ur emoji is too cute manasi but itna bhi emotional nahi thaLOL


after reading first para , i thought that both jo & amaya are no more & i was literally in... Cry

but after reading more , my doubt got cleared & i had a BIG sigh of relief...LOL
>>>> See I can't see you in tears dearLOL


loved all those flashbacks , which depicted their sweeet & cherished past...Embarrassed
>>>>Thanks dearSmile Btw  Mee too like that kitchen partTongue 


& then misunderstanding occured ...Ouch
>>> Yes!!OuchOuch

leading both of them to unendurable pain & suffering...CryCryCry
>>>> He suffered more because he didn't have even amaya. Atleast she had amaya with herOuch


since bad time also has to end some day , so was their agony , which finally got to meet it's end...Big smile

thus , UNITING THE LOVERS  FOR LIFE...Embarrassed

>>>> Wow, I loved this line dearie Star


Tysm for this lovely comment dearHug
Love yaHeart

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--cute.manasi--

sharmacatty IF-Sizzlerz
sharmacatty
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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 11:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by cute.manasi

also , i liked ruqs here ...Embarrassed
it was her efforts , that made their reunion possible...Big smile

& ur amaya is sooo cute...LOL

RuksLOL Yeah she's not bad in this os atleast, though she was the reason of their separationLOL

AmayaStarStarStar I Love  herHeart

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--cute.manasi--

sharmacatty IF-Sizzlerz
sharmacatty
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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 11:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kartikaJA

superb OS

Thankyou!!

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