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ArHi: Innocence to a half-mad city [Complete] (Page 36)

vgedin IF-Dazzler
vgedin
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Joined: 26 August 2012
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 5:42am | IP Logged
R
~Edit~ 

When emotions come down to muscle memory, you know theres something intrinsically f**ked up about it. Either it was never genuine to begin with, or one was a more selfish than the other. There is no pointing fingers, it's just the way some people are built.

And yet, can the heart curb the streak of anger that rises at the thought of what Anjali has done to Arnav? No. Here is a spectacularly bright boy who is smart and kindhearted - and she has managed to leave him absolutely miserable - in the clutches of heartache, doubts, anxiety and fear. Is anyone more pitiable than one who craves and fears affection at the same time? 


Edited by vgedin - 09 June 2016 at 10:31am

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albmum14 Senior Member
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 7:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by pinkly

Teddy was a real psycho. Perfume does not go with certain dress !! Who does that... I felt that he had wrapped his big ugly obsessive hand over khushi and caged her in his fist... That was bad.

Nicely written.


I do that! Smile I check to see if the perfume goes or suits the look i am trying to achieve.

I do not think that that is the issue. The way he uses that knowledge to control and subdue her is the problem. 


Edited by albmum14 - 09 June 2016 at 7:02am

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RockBarbie

albmum14 Senior Member
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 7:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by RockBarbie

Originally posted by albmum14

Teddy was thorough wasn't he? He didn't leave any aspect of her life unaltered or uncontrolled by him. The mental cruelty he put her under had her feeling like she was straitjacketed, emotionally numb by the end of it all. The little tension she feels as he speaks about the perfume, is her way of trying to find a reason to exercise her decision making, but he is ready with answers to change her thoughts. All the excuses she makes for tolerating his behaviour, show the little doubts she has about doing so. It's strange how the abused will let go of a few decisions, thinking that they are showing their love, while the abuser will use them to fuel his abuse further. It's a never ending circle, the love she shows igniting his need to have more power over her. And it seems that intimacy is missing too, perhaps in all its aspects.
With this glimpse I understand better Khushi's issue with Payal not breaking her parenting habit. Although, she has Khushi's best interests by looking out for her, she is stifling her more. But there is a lot more we don't know about the past or Payal's reasons.

Its interesting how things get shoved under the rug in the name of control. "I will take care of all your finances, clothing, shopping, accessories" isn't declaration of adoration. Unfortunately it has gotten romanticized. Imagine years of this systematic emotional abuse which is battered wife syndrome and which isn't in a way it leaves no visible marks. Payal's reasons will be definitely discussed. 

I don't think that it is being romanticised, rather than how you feel when the other partner takes care of you. Look at Khushi, saying that everyone is stating how she dresses better now. She enjoyed it in the beginning and let it continue because she felt it showed love that he was doing this for her. We have not seen a glimpse of her complaining about him being overbearing or how Teddy reacted when she did so, if she ever took that step. We can see clearly that he is an abuser, but we don't see how it got to this stage. It's a fact that all abused women found the emotional scars the worst to deal with or overcome.

Payal said in the last chapter that she wants to dig Teddy from his grave for what he did to Khushi, so we don't know how long the marriage lasted either and if the abuse escalated.

It's good to see Arnav slightly better, to me his breakdown was more about his life in general rather than the situation with Lavanya. I find his behaviour with Aman these last three weeks a little disturbing, it feels like he keeps Aman more and more chained in his attraction (love?) for him. But it's a difficult situation, when your best friend has feelings for you and you don't reciprocate them. The hurt is always there ready to engulf and destroy, so I don't know how he should behave differently. Maybe skirting the issue is the only way forward now.

Oh, Aman and Arnav are going to have the talk. Soon.

Are Arnav and Khushi both 36?

Yes.


Edited by albmum14 - 09 June 2016 at 7:13am

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RockBarbie

meera30 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 7:32am | IP Logged
Res.

<Edited>

I don't like judging characters at least until the story finishes (then I love to rip some apart!) - mostly because being wrong about people - even fictional ones sucks! And I have always given your Anjali's wide berth in my head.

This one however, makes me mad. I am not sure a Teddy parallel would work but the extent of emotional abuse is rather comp arable in my very unsophisticated opinion. Teddy worked to undermine Khushi's sense of self and Anjali has spent the better part of her adult life making sure Arnav destroys his. This was a boy genius - who had grown men worrying about keeping up with him. Look at what she has done - even if just by not doing what she should have - she did more.

Her anger and cruelty have hardly been masked - he has felt it after all! Her grief is not being discounted. And her anger at him for causing (will let you reveal more) their parents' death is not either. But I guess he is right. How much hatred would there have to be to replace years of muscle memory methodically one strand at a time?

And then one day, you say, stop hating, start accepting. If that doesn't drive a man to insanity, little else will



Edited by meera30 - 09 June 2016 at 9:14am

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RockBarbie Goldie
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 7:32am | IP Logged
Originally posted by albmum14

Originally posted by RockBarbie

Originally posted by albmum14

Teddy was thorough wasn't he? He didn't leave any aspect of her life unaltered or uncontrolled by him. The mental cruelty he put her under had her feeling like she was straitjacketed, emotionally numb by the end of it all. The little tension she feels as he speaks about the perfume, is her way of trying to find a reason to exercise her decision making, but he is ready with answers to change her thoughts. All the excuses she makes for tolerating his behaviour, show the little doubts she has about doing so. It's strange how the abused will let go of a few decisions, thinking that they are showing their love, while the abuser will use them to fuel his abuse further. It's a never ending circle, the love she shows igniting his need to have more power over her. And it seems that intimacy is missing too, perhaps in all its aspects.
With this glimpse I understand better Khushi's issue with Payal not breaking her parenting habit. Although, she has Khushi's best interests by looking out for her, she is stifling her more. But there is a lot more we don't know about the past or Payal's reasons.

Its interesting how things get shoved under the rug in the name of control. "I will take care of all your finances, clothing, shopping, accessories" isn't declaration of adoration. Unfortunately it has gotten romanticized. Imagine years of this systematic emotional abuse which is battered wife syndrome and which isn't in a way it leaves no visible marks. Payal's reasons will be definitely discussed. 

I don't think that it is being romanticised, rather than how you feel when the other partner takes care of you. Look at Khushi, saying that everyone is stating how she dresses better now. She enjoyed it in the beginning and let it continue because she felt it showed love that he was doing this for her. We have not seen a glimpse of her complaining about him being overbearing or how Teddy reacted when she did so, if she ever took that step. We can see clearly that he is an abuser, but we don't see how it got to this stage. It's a fact that all abused women found the emotional scars the worst to deal with or overcome.

Payal said in the last chapter that she wants to dig Teddy from his grave for what he did to Khushi, so we don't know how long the marriage lasted either and if the abuse escalated.

My reply was more general than addressing the issue in the story. There is a degree of romanticizing emotional manipulation in television and other forms of media which ends up as "chemistry" or whatever the new lingo is. There is absolutely no qualms that in this story Teddy is abusing. How they got to this point - I don't want to go into that because if I do so we will be here for another year. Maybe a small flashback would help?

There is a gradual progression from initial state to the state Khushi finds herself in. The manipulation hasn't crossed the line to physical one but the aggressiveness is creeping. I want to start Khushi's story at that point where she has begun to see the difference between "romance" and "control" and "abuse".

It's good to see Arnav slightly better, to me his breakdown was more about his life in general rather than the situation with Lavanya. I find his behaviour with Aman these last three weeks a little disturbing, it feels like he keeps Aman more and more chained in his attraction (love?) for him. But it's a difficult situation, when your best friend has feelings for you and you don't reciprocate them. The hurt is always there ready to engulf and destroy, so I don't know how he should behave differently. Maybe skirting the issue is the only way forward now.

Oh, Aman and Arnav are going to have the talk. Soon.

Are Arnav and Khushi both 36?

Yes.

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-Loki-

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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 8:52am | IP Logged
Everything. Everything you write is contagious. 
This anxiety, loneliness, part cynicism, and calmness in the midst of agony...EVERYTHING!!

Can someone tell him to shrug his shoulders and toss the world away ? 
He wouldn't want to, I know...

...more later... 

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meera30 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 9:16am | IP Logged
Comment updated here

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RockBarbie

shils28 Goldie
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Posted: 09 June 2016 at 9:21am | IP Logged
Great update! Thoughtful conversation!

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