"What are you all looking at?" He asks hesitantly knowing the thought running through their heads. He was a mess: sweaty, food stains on his shirt and rumpled clothing all over.
"Did you fall into a ditch or wrestled with a cow at the dumpster?" Anjali asks.
He shrugs carelessly and looks around to see his family his two best friends standing around a sad looking big cake and droopy candles. He is incredibly late and for once, he doesn't care.
He grins at his sister knowing it will annoy her further. "Something like that," he replies and ignores the unimpressed looks La and Aman are sending his way. He ushers everyone towards the table and goes through the song and dance of cutting of cake, offering a shared slice to others and drinking champagne.
Anjali drags La to a corner leaving Aman and Arnav alone. Arnav smiles easily, eyes bright and crinkling in the corners.
"You didn't answer your phone." Aman murmurs. "You didn't answer my call." The hurt was evident in Aman's voice. "Is it because of what I said in that restaurant?"
Arnav shakes his head. "It wasn't like that Aman. I would never do something like that. You know that."
"We checked your office and you weren't there. Your driver said you were off at some small market eating street food." Aman asks, disbelief in his voice.
Arnav smile morphs to one that's brimming with self-deprecation. He wills his eyes not to water. "What can I say Aman? I was lonely."
Aman lets out a hurt noise and starts dragging Arnav by his wrist towards his room. On the way to Arnav's room, Aman snarls at a bewildered Lavanya. "The party is over." Arnav barely registers the scuffling around him as he lets himself be pulled by his best friend. Aman slams the door shut behind them and let goes of Arnav's hand.
"You were lonely?" Aman all but yells. "You got pissed because I didn't wish you on your birthday bright and early in the morning?"
Arnav holds Aman's eyes and sighs. "Please Aman," he begs. He was having an almost perfect day without anybody throwing disappointed looks at him or be generally irate with him. His six hours of elation was now coming to an end.
Hearing Arnav, Aman's tense shoulders slouch. "Do you know how worried we were when we didn't hear from you all afternoon? I know things have been a bit rough between us lately but come on man, don't go running away when we are all trying."
Arnav looked at his hands and took in the two watches adorning his wrists; a classic wrist watch that cost more than his car and a neon green hideously decorated watch that cost less half a glass of champagne. In his eyes, they were equals in their impact on him.
"Being myself isn't enough here and I wanted to be somewhere where I was enough Aman so that's why I went out. I wasn't running away. I was dealing. I am dealing. I am coping. I have resigned to the fact that my family will never truly consider me as one of theirs. And after everything that's happened between you and me, Lavanya and I, I had no one. You wanted space and quiet, and I let you be. La wanted space and distance and I let her be. I have nothing else and nothing more to give Aman. Tell me what is it that I am missing and I will fix it. Tell me so that I know and I don't hurt you or La anymore." Arnav replies earnestly, eyes bright with unshed tears and a quivering curl of lips. "Please Aman. Tell me. I fail at life, you know that."
Aman looks equal parts angry and hurt. "And you didn't think of picking up phone in the morning and yell at us for not wishing you? Yeah, things have changed but it hasn't changed our friendship you, selfish asshole!" Aman shouted. "Your selflessness and martyrdom is now turning into your new brand of selfishness. I was hoping you would miss me as much as I missed you. But no," Aman strides over to Arnav and grabs his arms. "The great Arnav Singh Raizada never takes the first step. Gives so much space to his best friend that there is f**king ocean between the two." Aman squeezes Arnav's arm forcing Arnav to look at his friend. "I love you, you ingrate asshole."
At Arnav's startled look, Aman sighs. "I fell in love and I got unmade. I asked for space in hopes of putting myself together and make myself whole again. But I am not able to." Aman runs his hand over Arnav's shoulders and presses his palm against Arnav's cheek. "I want you in my life Arnav. Always. You will always be my best friend first."
Arnav finally smiles and allows the tears to finally fall. "I missed you so much today," he blurts. "Even when I had no one, I had you. I always had you. And today, you weren't there. I couldn't Aman...I can't"
Aman summons the last bit of courage and leans in.
The kiss takes Arnav by surprise but he sighs into it. He doesn't pull away when Aman deepens the kiss making Aman moan in response.
It's in that moment Aman realizes that it was time. He pulls back and sees Arnav's flushed cheeks. "That's never going to happen again, okay?" Aman says firmly to Arnav. Arnav nods, as expected.
He cups Arnav's cheek and presses his lips on Arnav's forehead. He puts in every bit of affection and tenderness that Arnav deserves into that platonic kiss.
"You were saying good-bye," Arnav says softly.
Aman dips his head and kisses corner of Arnav's mouth before taking three steps back from him. "I am drawing the line at being best friends. I am not withdrawing my affections. A part of me will always be in love with you." Aman chuckles to hide his hurt. "And that is something I can live with."
"Okay Aman," Arnav replies and takes a step back on his own.
They smile at each other the way they have been for the last two decades.
Arnav breathes a sigh of relief.
And what do you know? Here I am, sipping my peach green tea with boba, content that I'm finally back at my desk after a long day of meetings, unawares of what the update is going to hit me with... and you throw that on me?
You have lost it over those two, and I don't mean Aman and Arnav... :) Let's talk on the plot progress tonight. i will try and finish up re-reading before then.
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| Rizz-ington | 34 | 4826 |
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