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SwaSan SS: Sweet Deals (Completed) (Page 8)

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 24 April 2016 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
 @ Bubble, Lucky, Razia, Shru & Talia,
What a lovely way to greet a Monday morning - reading all your lovely comments. They make me so gladSmile
I will get back to each one of you even if it means sneaking time of work.

Love you girls,
Nyna

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krishuuuuuuuuuu

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 April 2016 at 6:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tootiefrootie11

Res Nyna! Sorry if it takes me a while to unres but I am so super excited about this, had to res:) X
Unres:

Nyna Hug

With many apologies for the delay Embarrassed. Firstly, a sweet treat for us titled Sweet Deals- yummy! I LOVE the baking theme! Redolent of coffee and cinnamon and chocolate - some of my favourite things too, as I said above, that with the combination of a writer like you writing, was super exciting. The Recipe was superb- Clap, loved the humour and word play and you need have no trepidation there at all Big smile

I really liked the intro. The idea of a responsible Swara and a Ragini that sleeps later than her is rather refreshing and the little touches of Dragon Das, Swara's reaction to the song and even the mouth watering list of cupcakes to be made all sets such a nice tone! Then we have the intriguing hint of some past tragedy/ actions having them placed here in somewhat strained circumstances, totally estranged from a conservative but still steady family life. We see a responsible and highly selfless Swara but its clear even now that with care taken to build this in, that element will really make sense in the overall story and not leave us with a heroine who makes you despair many times Wink

Also, nice little description of the bakery and its situation and hours and even the living arrangements- as you know, I am a fan of little details that build an overall big picture Smile

Then we have the first meeting! I really liked the way this felt exciting and somewhat romantic despite the prima facie mundaneness of a stranger simply coming in for coffee at a bakery/ coffee shop. Btw- I have an obsession with coffee shops. I can sit in one for hours, and often do so. Especially when I lived by myself I had a lovely area near me and I endlessly haunted their coffee shops to drink hot chocolate there and people watch and read/ write Big smile

So whilst the shop is to be closed, it wasn't so due to an error (I had wondered there if the stranger had flipped the sign himself Wink but he's too much a gent for that as we see later) and Swara covers her initial mild irrigation to make up with a nice smile which clearly ensnares the man, not that she knows. She makes a "mean" cup of coffee and then he sits down to enjoy that but more so than that, is enjoying observing her. Unknown to him, his smile has already affected her too! And then Swara is so absorbed she even misses his exit. Subtle but still gave such a nice sense of "feels" already. But the stranger has left a sweet note that cannot help but thaw Swara's mercurial temper and as the hours pass she views it with much more mellow feeling! 

I really enjoyed this Nyna and am so eager to read Chapter 2! I am glad you took the precaution and reserved more posts than you intend to write- I won't be complaining if we get more Wink

Loads of love,
Shru xoxo


Dear Shru,

Firstly no apologies - I am sure you have quite a bit on your plate (office presentations and a demanding work schedule) and catering to our obsession with DK - the fact that you have taken time out itself to read, res and comment is more than sufficient. And that you liked the recipe - thank you. Trepidation - well,just cannot help but feel a little.Ermm

Swara and Ragini - yes, the deviation from the show's characterisation was intentional (not to say that Swara was irresponsible but she was quite a carefree girl in the show). And the hint of a past tragedy / actions - that is worrying me a little. As I mentioned in another response, I am just hoping that when I finally do reveal the same, I am not met with blank responses and a couple of chapters later, I have you saying, "that was the reason?????" Confused- it would be like a cake that does not rise (and in the baking world there can be nothing more tragic than a flat cakeCryCry)

And really glad to know you liked the description of the shop - to confess I had actually drawn a rough outline in an excel worksheet and then simply described the diagram (I was stuck as to how to describe the setting and the drawing helped, as it seems).

Ahh ! coffees shops - nothing like spending time in them, though in India they tend to be pretty crowded and actually do not allow much time for a quiet cup of coffee, but coffee and conversations - nothing like that to pass the time of the daySmile

No, she forgot to flip the board - he was too much of gentleman to take any undue advantage. And true, his note has a quite an impact on her.

And once again, please no apologies for delayed unres. As I said, you reading my story telling attempts is more than enough.

loads of love,
Nyna

PS: @ bold above, that line has the ''creative me' (who tends to be slightly delusional as to her talents at times, is doing a 'red indian dance' somewhere in the corner of my mindEmbarrassed
Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
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Joined: 06 November 2015
Posts: 4413

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 6:46am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lucky.m

Hi NynaHug

keeping up my promiseSmile

Well its nothing less but yummy start to an delicious treat with this SS...Well let me start with recipe .where did u get this idea from galClapClap super creative Thumbs Upand recipe sounds great.I love how you take care  of every small detail your efforts are totally visibleStarStar respect for the same

Dragon reminds me of my someone in my officeLOLLOL and that small retorts of girls for dadi's restrictions.Damn funny they are ..I swear they keep going on head though sometimes though you cant just say them esp at workLOL

well I assume ragini is good soul in this and my eyes all are for stranger ..Embarrassed I already love him and dont tell me its lakshLOLLOL

Yummy start ..looking for more sweeter deal in next update

LuckyHug

Dear Lucky,

Regarding the idea for the recipe - well I had read somewhere that there is a recipe for friendship which stuck in my head and when I got the idea for the story, I felt it appropriate to actually write the introduction as a recipe. I am so thrilled that you liked it. 

Dragon - well she is reminiscent of all those strict teachers / stern bosses we had in school and have in office, we know they are right but still cannot resist giving back to them (at least in our minds ) - I can recall one occasion - when my colleague and myself were being pulled up and our boss said that we had to rise to the occasion. We had felt that it was totally uncalled for considering the time and effort we had spent on that assignment and if the client was being unreasonable it was not fair admonishing us (Audit clients can be quite demanding). After he had left, we had quipped among ourselves, if we had known we had to rise we would have had added baking powder to our breakfastWink. Oh yes, there are so many smart answers which we can only voice in our heads.

And yes, Ragini and Swara are normal sisters - no turning evil, dark and murderous - with the expected quibbles. I intend this story to be a simple love story with small misunderstandings.
As to the stranger - wait till Chapter 2 Smile

love,
Nyna

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lucky.m

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 April 2016 at 6:57am | IP Logged
Originally posted by raaz19

Hi nyna...Firstly so sorry for the late reply and thank you for the pm...Embarrassed
What a scrumptious and delicious treat of a ss you have delivered...as I sit in front of the window watching the tiny rain trops I cannot stop but smile at the tasty start of the ss...The recipe of this ss has the perfect blend of soul...love ...drama and care...All the emotions one needs to feel both content and blissfull...I see that this journey is indeed going to be sweet and if somewhat spicy Wink if you get what I mean...The blend of ingredients is just perfect Clap...

Okay back to chapter one...I have to say I just loved the small details you used to describe this cute coffee place and Mrs das has become one of my favourite characters already...just love her...LOL she is so sweet...

The bond between swara and ragani is very sweet and the house just sounds so cute...A perfect family home built upon trust and faith that with time  is shall get better...just like your story it did make me wonder why did they leave home...so what is the mystery Disapprove

Mm..well back to the bakery...buddy seems you were planning on making us all feel hungry with all those muffins...I felt like I was at the counter and actually ordering one of those...Day Dreaming

Seems like our swara is one mean baker herself...back to the stranger that everyone is wondering whom it is...seems like you have the perfect blend of soul and care sorted in this mystery man.. I have to say I just loved his shuttle entry in the shop to his mischievous order of the coffee to his silent observations of swara actions...I just couldn't help image that I was sanskaar...His nature in the start I the show was to always watch swara with so much love and integrity to decipher what she is up to...seems like our gent is already hooked with this beauty...Hug

Well the real question for me is what does recipe have in store next...Blushing

For this first encounter with the stranger has  made swara learn one lesson which is to smile...wonder what you have in store next from us...Please update soon...Tongue

Until then I shall reread this mouth watering piece LOL

Ps: don't be nervous it has been written beautifully Star

Take care...

Razia

Dear Razia,

Firstly - I think we should make it a rule - no apologies for late res and unres - I am sure all of you have a busy schedule, so the fact that you read, res and then comment itself means a lot. 

The bond between Swara and Ragini - I do not have a sister but at times have been envious of that bond that sisters share (though I would not give up my brother for a sister - never). So when the show ruined it (mostly by the illogical redemption of Ragini and Swara simply forgiving everyone for everything) I had enough. So this is my attempt at showing what I think sisters should be - together through thick and thin. And as to why they left home - well future chapters will tell. But my intent is a sweet love story though you would be final judge of it. 

Mrs. Das - well she would be sweet - more of her in later chapters

Cupcakes -as I mentioned, I took those recipes from my friend who is an expert baker and has made all of them and many more. As to the stranger - wait till Chapter 2 - I seem more anxious to reveal his identity now. Wink

And yes - whatever happens never forget to smile (there is also a novel by the same name - do not forget to smile - a lovely read)

Thanks for reading it and regarding not being nervous (well it is like answering an exam - however well prepared you are, you cannot help being nervousEmbarrassed)

love,
Nyna

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raaz19

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 April 2016 at 7:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by krishuuu

Hey nyna...
 Im late ..sorry n thanks for pm...

I must say im sooo very impressed...introduction to sweet deals was literally sweet...all that cupcakes n coffee u mentioned made my stomach growl...hundred rats were running in my stomach...yummy...such a delicious start...

The whole chapter n little background of swaragini described was amazing..loved their sisterly bond...mrs Das seems to be a nice women..who helped these girls in trouble times...house cum bakery was beautifully described...

Sooo swara is a expert baker...great going n then comes the entry of a mysterious stranger..(.im guessing sansku)stupid me..who else it could be then...loved the situation..rain n one cup of coffee...prepared by her for him...awww im all smiling..he quitely observed her n left..leaving a note...wow...

Sooo story is getting all spiced up...excited...

Overall it was magnificent update...waiting for next...

Talia

Dear Talia,

Yours is the umpteenth post to apologise for a late comment - I shall make it a rule as to NO apologies.  I simply love reading your comments which must take a bit of your time so do not apologise.

So you liked the cupcakes I mentioned - well imagine my state when my friend actually bakes them and posts pictures for all of us (if we had stayed in the same city, I am sure she would never have had a chance to eat a single one)Big smile.

Swara and Ragini, yes a nice sisterly bond (there is so much bromance, so thought the girls could also share a loving bondLOL) and Mrs. Das is indeed a very kind person. (not one reader has thought otherwise despite her being nicknamed a DragonWink)

So glad to note you liked the story - and as to who the stranger is  - Chapter 2 will reveal the same.Wink

love,
Nyna
Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
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Posts: 4413

Posted: 25 April 2016 at 7:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by soapbubble

So beautifully written, Nyna!!

I loved loved the charming recipe for your story! 
And your setting - so lovingly delineated - reminds me of Nora Roberts.

And it's an intriguing start! The young man leaves a note (a shadow of Pakeezah there! Day Dreaming) and our Swara's interest is piqued. I confess, so is mine!!

Sorry for turning up so late to read but I loved it.
Bubble

Dear Bubble,

Nora Roberts - thud - too much of high praise that my writing reminds you of herEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed

The young man leaving a note - intriguing and yes, does pique Swara's interest. Guess both he and me can say - Mission accomplished.Wink

Thrilled to know that you loved it and please. please no apologies for late reading / res/ comments. You read and commented, that is enough for me.

love,
Nyna

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soapbubble

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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 4:49am | IP Logged
Nynaaa Hug This story is really the sweetest one..I was smiling all the while I read the first chapterBig smile

The intro part was so fun to read..TongueHow innovatively you have written it..Big smileThe recipe for Sweet deals being the highlight..ClapAwesome mind blowing..It was so interesting..As you said, I found happiness already reading the intro itself..Big smileBig smile

And now coming to the ever sweetest First chapter..EmbarrassedEmbarrassed

I really loved the characterization of Dragon Das and Swaragini of course..SmileSmileThe way you started the story is so so beautiful..The sibling bonding, Ragini who loves to be woken up by Swara, Swara who loves to take all the blame for their current state..Everything has been explained by you in a heart touching way..Hug hugs to you for that Hug

So they were born to an orthodox family, and both the sisters wanted freedom from the conservative nature of the elders, especially Dadi..But then when they finally got it, they got it at the cost of losing their family..Oh no..!Poor things..Cry
I can't guess what might have happened to them..But now the sisters are living under the care of Mrs. Das..

I really loved the description of Swaragini's current home and the bakery named Sweet Deals..Big smileCute and innovative name by the way..
Really loved the way you described about the timings and strictness in the number of cupcakes..Embarrassed
And I have been to Vashi, when I came to Mumbai in the past, I have lived there while vacationing with my aunt's family..But now, they have don't live there..They have shifted..But hearing the place name was so nostalgic..lots of memories came into my mind..SmileSmile

And coming to the most lovely part..The arrival of the stranger in that rainy night..Aww so romantic..Day DreamingHope that the person was Sanskaar..Anyway I imagined him only..WinkLOL
And really loved his first meeting with Swara and their interactions..Day DreamingI was smiling all the while..I am eagerly waiting for the next update..And I want to say that you are a really gifted and talented writer..ClapHug
Love you
Naina


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Nynaeve

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Posted: 26 April 2016 at 7:56am | IP Logged
Nyna..!! EmbarrassedBig smile
I am extremely sorry dear I am tooo... late in replyCry
I actually had exams to go and even know I am having them ...damn it..Angryand soo..it was not possible to read and comment only 4 days more then I will have the much awaited holidays I am really pissed off know...Confused I am not even able to update mine ..

I always waited to read your work ..and this is something too unique concept ..I liked it and with your writing I am damn sure it will became a masterpieceClapBig smile

The reciepe was absolute bliss ..I will try it ..later on ..for my future fics to comeWink you have written it in a very innovative way ..and the bakery name is wonderful ..say unique ..I loved it mainly and the restrictions of the bakery ,swaragini bond , and their past ... all were described very beautifully..

 Navi Mumbai..!? Yay..!! It is were I stayed for 10 years ..and our family got transferred to chennai 3 years before...since then I have been missing it ...you are making me recall my days there ..thanks. lot for a Navi Mumbai backdrop ...

And I suppose the stranger is our hero .. Am I right ..?
Waiting for future parts ..update as time permits..

Once again a big "SORRY" ..!!for the late..

Love 
Soundharya..LOLBig smile

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