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SwaSan SS: Sweet Deals (Completed) (Page 37)

blindassassin Senior Member
blindassassin
blindassassin

Joined: 15 April 2016
Posts: 309

Posted: 04 June 2016 at 10:03am | IP Logged
Nyna
As usual beautiful update. I think your strength lies in dialogue writing . They are bang on in any situation be it the previous chapter after the kiss or this chapter where sanskars words are too good . Also raginis reactions are very natural. 
Love, veenae

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Nynaeve

lucky.m IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 04 June 2016 at 10:56am | IP Logged
Nynu Hug
whoa I loved that punch pe punchDancingDancingLOL  its awesome Big smile

I mean thats so cheap and mean of laksh to do that .Angry.and he deserved every punch and even more

Nynu ..I just love swaragini equation in your ss Embarrassed.Clap.Ragini how she ran behind swara inspite of realizing that the guy whom she loved is the one who caused biggest grief to her sister but how she choose to be with swara at that moment and loved how swara was super clear about not loving that BK and was wrd about ragini ..that was so well done sweety..Thumbs UpThumbs Up

and last part where swara comes up and gives that piece of brain to that fellow ..Clap and how sanskaar gave that space out to that bloke and swara .Star.Clap

and last but not least my fav that starting lines bitter sweet memories..lovelyHeart

sour candy ..how apt is that .. how do you come up with such cool titles Star, it's not so sour afterallWink

Love
Lucky



Edited by lucky.m - 04 June 2016 at 10:55am

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Nynaeve

priya_86 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 04 June 2016 at 11:05am | IP Logged
Amazing as usual...you have a wonderful style of writing...as I have said before
Probably one of the best writers in our ForumClap
Thanks for the PMSmile

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blindassassinNynaeve

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Posted: 05 June 2016 at 12:50am | IP Logged
Hey Nynu Hug
Will be back later for a detailed revert, but in the meantime, I so LOVED the way you'd described Sanskaar, Swara and Ragini's reactions to the fact that Lakshya was none other than Bipul Kumar.Smile

Kudos to you for describing the various emotions Ragini went through, and how she reacted. Ragini is a character who really intrigued me on the show. There was so much potential for her track, which the serial largely frittered away. Great to see her character and emotions being handled with such attention here. 

And of course, Sanskaar's reaction to the revelation of what his cousin had done, his raw fury tempered with his customary maturity ClapClap. And Swara too...the way she handled the shock of this revelation, and then the way she explained to Ragini that she didn't love "Bipul"/ Lakshya at all anymore, probably she never really had. But she was worried if he was going to be similarly fickle and spineless when it came to Ragini. Loved the sisters bond there.

Will be back for more in a couple of days. In the meantime, I'd already un res'd on "A love like none other" on Page 1; before I left for my cousin's wedding. Smile

Lots of Love 

Viji 

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Nynaeve

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Posted: 05 June 2016 at 1:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CogitoErgoSum

Hey Nynu 

Will be back for more in a couple of days. In the meantime, I'd already un res'd on "A love like none other" on Page 1; before I left for my cousin's wedding. Smile

Lots of Love 

Viji 

Dear Viji,

I have read that comment so many times that I have lost count - I think I have mentioned it before, I love the fact that your comments make me  fall in love with my stories. I will get back once I have had my fill of reading your takeBlushing

love,
Nyna

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 05 June 2016 at 8:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sneharay

Superb Update.. Clap

Thank you, Sneha
Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 05 June 2016 at 8:55am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tootiefrootie11

Nyna Hug

Excellent chapter. I believe as a writer it must have been tricky to pick up from where you ended the last one (or it would be for me but that may be my own deficiences so got to acknowledge that!) but you did such a great job in keeping this realistic enough without losing any gripping tension. 

HugThank you 

I loved the way the siblings reached and also the individual interplays. Not that the rest of the plot is anyway similar but the whole overall feel with the Bipin/ Lakshya and swara mess leaves me with a real sense of how I felt in Jab We Met with Lakshya coming across as a very believable Anshuman? I love that film btw, for various reasons I won't bore with but its one of my always go to feel good films. 

JWM - one of the few movies I watched and enjoyed (I am not much of a movie girl, my average is three movies in two years (watching in a theatre, I do catch up a few films on television but mostly english films). But I did love this movie, so maybe it must have been at the back of mind and that influenced this tale a little bit.Wink

Lakshya has that same feeble and weak willed feel to him of a man not necessarily evil or bad even but just fickle and not constant. Doesn't bode well for his relationship with Ragini ofcourse on the face of it but it may yet be the making of him with genuine realisation and repentance Wink

True, as he himself admits, he was not just into Swara but did not have the courage to be honest with her. He is one of those people who actually think that ignoring an issue would make it go away. Alas, the problem keeps increasing and finally blows up in one's face.

I loved how Sanskaar was righteous and strong but without being forcibly dramatic or unnecessarily macho, despite that incredibly satisfying punch which so calmed my heart at reading the pointless excuses and vacuousness that is Laksh. Lovely touch there. Also loved loved loved how Sanskaar left then and didn't try to force a disussion on Swara that would have been overkill in that moment. Plus Swara's whole reaction and especially her responses to Ragini about her feelings were so pleasingly mature and well handled I love the girl for that. 

Sunny boy's punch was already determined by meLOLLOL - but the fact is that there many who wanted it and I was more than willing to obligeSmile. And Sanskaar does know that Swara is a mature, sensible woman(if one overlooks her belief that she would not be forgiven by her family for her mistake of running away from homeWink) and leaves the decision to her, whether she wants to talk to Lakshya or not. Swara's response to Ragini - she has truly gotten over Lakshya but is worried for.

What slightly took me aback was the actual knife wielding act by Ragini LOL. I totally saw the punches landing, verbal and physical but her seriously contemplating a crime of passion as such was a bit of a shock. Thankfully she was prevented. I am so cruelly going to enjoy Lakshya making this up to her as I fully expect he will and also that he will after a point and some hurdles succeed too   Wink

Ragini's knife-wielding act - was it a little OTP?Ouch I sketched her as a passionate girl, not that she is not sensible, but rather one who gives in to a display of her emotions. So here, she is upset with  Lakshya being both the person she loves and the one who ditched her sister and the cause for them leaving home.**Sigh** Lakshya sure has his work cut out for him.Dead


As for Swara despite the angst of the whole confrontation I found it all rather cathartic. She needed this really to move on and close that chapter (again those scenes from JWM re burning photos symbolically and also the line- "Anushuman ka chapter khatam hogaya hai Geet" come to my mind!). 

Absolutely, now that she has confronted with the ghost of past, she can truly move forward. As she said to Ragini, she never did feel any great love for him

So from now on real progress on the love she really feels for the person destined for her and also deserving of her as she is of him can come to the fore:). Really enjoyed this Nyna!

Yes, Swara aur Sanskaar ki toh nikal padi!

Love

Shru X

Dear Shru,

Replied in blue above,

love,
Nyna
Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 4074

Posted: 05 June 2016 at 9:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Soundharya_01

Hi Nyna ..How are you dear ? 
Dear Soundharya,

I am quite fine - if you do not count the depressing fits that I have on account of the disgusting serial track.Dead

I have even ressed on your OS and haven't found time to Unres ...but i promise i will unres by today ...
No issues, dearie, take your time

I read 6 soon i got your pm but i was not able to comment but it was truly a shocker ...it was actually unexpected ... 

The last line was something which made me stunned and I read that line alone many times to register if what i have read is really true ??

When you say you found the last line a shocker, as a writer, I  am thrilled, that is what I intendedEvil Smile


You are really an awesome writer ..Nyna ...the way you are shaping the story is really interesting ...yet the plot is so simple revolving around these 4 and the bakery ...

Thank you, I did not want to complicate the simple plot with too many characters, I wanted it to be a sweet love story, very much like the cupcakes the bakery specialises inSmile

**Chapter 7**was showing Swara's reaction and her concern for her sister ... And ragini too now thinking about her future with lakshya ...

Both sisters are concerned for each other, but there is a difference, right - Swara is now truly free of Lakshya and Ragini has just found herself trapped

But lakshya narrating his story to Sanskaar was something to shocking ... How can he be so silly to play with somebody's feelings ?? He actually deserves what he has got now ... Sanskaar is someone i think is rare to find... be it real or reel...you have made his character more beautiful in the story...

There are a lot of people, who are not evil or bad per se, yet lack the courage to be good and honest (which actually needs a lot of courage). He believed that ignoring decisions would make the problem go away, in reality it grew till it blew up in his face. Sanskaar - is really too nice - sometimes I myself fall for himWink

I wanting to read more ...!!Update soon

Love

Soundharya.. 

Dear Soundharya,

Replied in blue above,

love,
Nyna

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