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SwaSan SS: Sweet Deals (Completed) (Page 3)

want_to_fly Goldie
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Joined: 22 October 2015
Posts: 1524

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 3:21am | IP Logged

Hi NYNA

HugHugHugHugHugHug
 
I am reading this in the middle of presentation...Where professors are eating our what so little brains we have  LOL...AND YOUR PM CAME AS relieverWink 
 
Congratulations for your new ssClapClapPartyPartyPartyParty
 
I'M NOW RESERVING MY COMMENT AS I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO JUSTICE IF I STARTS NOWBig smile
SO LET ME HAVE SOME RELAXING TIME, LET ME READ, REREAD  TILL I HAVE MY SWEET FILL OF ITDay DreamingDay DreamingDay DreamingDay DreamingDay Dreaming
 
RES
I KNOW I'M FIRST BUT I GUESS WILL BE THE LAST TO UNRES AS I WILL DO SO AFTER MY EXAMS..
SORRY FOR THAT DEARCry
 
BUT REALLY GREAT STARTClapClap
STAY BLESSED AND HAVE A NICE DAY
MUKTA


Edited by muktai - 21 April 2016 at 3:21am

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raaz19Nynaeve

NitaReid IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 30 March 2011
Posts: 16499

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 3:26am | IP Logged
Res.. You know my schedule Nyna dear.. Will read it asap and comment as well.But cant skip Res when i saw you have posted an new SS.. 

Unres..


Hi Nyna Dearest 

       I dont think i can apologize enough for such a delay except blame my current busy life as much as i can LOL.. While i felt real bad that i didnt read it for this long, it was such fun to read both the chapter together that i can hardly wait for the next one .. Smile.. You were an brilliant writer Nyna dear.Clap  Words cant express how much i liked this SS so farHeart.. I love Coffee too.. 


        
        I really want to write an detailed comment on the SS but i dont think i can do justice to it, somehow i feel writing about that SS will make it less than what it is due to my poor penman ship and i dont want that ... In short i am kind of worried i wont be able to give the credit it deserve if i decided to go in detail while commenting about it .. 



          You know i always say this to you that your comments describe my updates much better than my updates, that so true, your comments were always better than my updates and i dont feel i can write such a worthy comment for your SS ...So here i go you have been warned before hand LOL


          
        Ragini and Swara relationship is really lovely and while you have hinted about the past ,about how a single incident changed their life forever , i am curious to know about it .. While Swara was working i was wondering why Ragini was not helping her sister ,only to find out later she works somewhere else LOL..  I am liking the Mrs Das character ..



       Sanskar is  perfect in your SS dearEmbarrassed, and i really love his small notes and how it lead to such a beautiful friendship between both of them. I loved that there first three visits where few days apart each time leading to them thinking about the notes and the other person all the time Smile.. Also i love that SwaSan bonded over time and formed a close friendship . So Sanskar family is pretty much the same, we got Dadi in Ragini and Swara life who else i wonder..  As i said i dont think word can express how much i loved this last two chapters and the way you are shaping up the characters..And i dont think i can try now in my sleep driven state Ouch. But do update soon as i cant seem to wait too read the next chapter .. 

 Love,

Nita Hug


Edited by NitaReid - 07 May 2016 at 10:29am

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raaz19Nynaeve

tootiefrootie11 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 9213

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 3:36am | IP Logged
Res Nyna! Sorry if it takes me a while to unres but I am so super excited about this, had to res:) X
Unres:

Nyna Hug

With many apologies for the delay Embarrassed. Firstly, a sweet treat for us titled Sweet Deals- yummy! I LOVE the baking theme! Redolent of coffee and cinnamon and chocolate - some of my favourite things too, as I said above, that with the combination of a writer like you writing, was super exciting. The Recipe was superb- Clap, loved the humour and word play and you need have no trepidation there at all Big smile

I really liked the intro. The idea of a responsible Swara and a Ragini that sleeps later than her is rather refreshing and the little touches of Dragon Das, Swara's reaction to the song and even the mouth watering list of cupcakes to be made all sets such a nice tone! Then we have the intriguing hint of some past tragedy/ actions having them placed here in somewhat strained circumstances, totally estranged from a conservative but still steady family life. We see a responsible and highly selfless Swara but its clear even now that with care taken to build this in, that element will really make sense in the overall story and not leave us with a heroine who makes you despair many times Wink

Also, nice little description of the bakery and its situation and hours and even the living arrangements- as you know, I am a fan of little details that build an overall big picture Smile

Then we have the first meeting! I really liked the way this felt exciting and somewhat romantic despite the prima facie mundaneness of a stranger simply coming in for coffee at a bakery/ coffee shop. Btw- I have an obsession with coffee shops. I can sit in one for hours, and often do so. Especially when I lived by myself I had a lovely area near me and I endlessly haunted their coffee shops to drink hot chocolate there and people watch and read/ write Big smile

So whilst the shop is to be closed, it wasn't so due to an error (I had wondered there if the stranger had flipped the sign himself Wink but he's too much a gent for that as we see later) and Swara covers her initial mild irrigation to make up with a nice smile which clearly ensnares the man, not that she knows. She makes a "mean" cup of coffee and then he sits down to enjoy that but more so than that, is enjoying observing her. Unknown to him, his smile has already affected her too! And then Swara is so absorbed she even misses his exit. Subtle but still gave such a nice sense of "feels" already. But the stranger has left a sweet note that cannot help but thaw Swara's mercurial temper and as the hours pass she views it with much more mellow feeling! 

I really enjoyed this Nyna and am so eager to read Chapter 2! I am glad you took the precaution and reserved more posts than you intend to write- I won't be complaining if we get more Wink

Loads of love,
Shru xoxo



Edited by tootiefrootie11 - 24 April 2016 at 12:19pm

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bookworm3294raaz19Nynaeve

prerulalli Groupbie
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 3:38am | IP Logged
Its beautiful
Would love to read more about the SWEET DEALS 
Do PM the next update 
Love,
PreranaSmile

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Nynaeve

Sujayricky IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 8741

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 3:51am | IP Logged
Res
Unres
Nyna first of all a big congo for your first ss Party
Now coming back to the story
Nyna seriously it's a mind blowing concept Clap
Sweet deels and the ingredients you used was lovely
And it is making me more hungry for food LOL
But nyna lovely start
I hope that man is sanskar Wink
And the note was cherry on the top for me
And now nyna i will be desperately waiting for next update
Please update soon
Story is very interesting
I am sure in future this story will surely satisfied my hunger LOL

Edited by sujoyricky - 21 April 2016 at 11:21am

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raaz19Nynaeve

Banjaaran. IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 4:08am | IP Logged
Go forth Nyna..

Cheers to new awesome-sauce beginnings!Party.
great start!

and you know how proficient I am when it comes to commenting.. so please don't mind me dearie.
Needless to say.. I'll be reading and enjoying and loving your beautiful story.

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Krishnabhisarik Senior Member
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Joined: 03 January 2016
Posts: 369

Posted: 21 April 2016 at 4:10am | IP Logged
NynaHug This was oh-so-cute!!Clap Firstly, i loved the prologue and the recipeTongue It made me hungryLOLLOLAnd the first chapter, yummy stuffLOL The everyday irritation merged with the broader view of gratitude, SwaRagini bonding.. Perfect mix! The most delicious part was the noteDay Dreaming the complete exchange, Such sweetnessBig smile Hungry for more, pls whip up the next delicacy soonWink
Love,
AkshataSmile

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raaz19Nynaeve

pakh IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 4:13am | IP Logged
Nyna...dear just read the introduction...loved itEmbarrassedEmbarrassed

then about reading rest of the story...It will take me time as I am too lazy now a days to read something...so really sorry for that...will try to read soon...but still congratulations and all the best for this SSBig smileBig smile

I suck at commenting on storiesLOLLOL


Edited by pakh - 21 April 2016 at 4:26am

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