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SwaSan SS: Sweet Deals (Completed) (Page 17)

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
Nynaeve

Joined: 06 November 2015
Posts: 4160

Posted: 11 May 2016 at 7:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tootiefrootie11

Res for chapter 3 Big smile
Unres: 

Nyna Hug

You need not have any percentile of nervousness about this lovely lovely chapter at all. 

Dear Shru, reading your comments (more than once, I must admit) makes me feel glad for posting despite being so nervous about it.Smile

Let's start with the beginning- bang to the point - RagSan are not even frenemies, let alone enemies - just sweet and cool best friends Big smile. I have a real thing about men who become close to their beloved's siblings- my own hubby has a special soft spot in my heart for that though I would NEVER ever admit this to him LOLLOL. I really liked how Sanskaar befriends both those girls and there was a palpable sense of him alleviating their loneliness and grief. Then comes the growing closeness further developed between SwaSan especially with more bringing down of formalities as to restricted visiting hours etc.

@ bold above  -so true - and I sort of agree with you about not admitting to your hubby about that - it would not do to let him know all the ways in which he can create those special soft spots in your heartWink too many soft spots and you would be absolute mushSmile

We also get the "secret" I was rather curious about. I thought it was to do with a man but was sure it had Lakshya involved but this was so much more realistic and natural and you had said to me before you were worried about that not being dramatic enough (or words to that effect). Again, there was no cause. This is pretty big and earth shaking for the sort of girls you showed the sisters to be especially given their upbringing and dragon Dadi. I felt Swara's pain and disillusionment at that clear infatuation (but one she entertained in really good faith) shattering and her reactions and her sense of shame and failure and fear of going back mixed with the terrible loneliness they now face and her guilt at Ragini being dragged in too were so well done Clap. Again, you bring that all out so powerfully without over egging it- a real feat for a writer IMHO.

And reading the above gave me such a relief - I did try to bring out their upbringing so that Swara feeling shame and guilt would be justified - but was not sure if I could actually convey that same. So when a writer like you says I have done it well, that is high praiseBlushing

Further, regarding your thoughts that it should be Lakshya - well - I had a problem with that, if it was Lakshya Maheshwari then Sanskaar Maheshwari would have lost the battle of love even before it began and there would have been no progress in the way I wanted. So I had to adopt this route. Wink

What is even more powerful and the cherry on the cake of this chapter (sorry about the rather trite puns!), was the sequence where Swara confides in Sanskaar. The way this came about so sweetly and naturally again was heartwarming- the loving gesture of giving them sweets they should and do like, and that being the key that unlocks the memories and Pandora's box too was finely managed. The literal outpouring of grief long suppressed and that to, with the best person she could have let in to her heart- gave me such a sense of peace despite the situation and the angst clearly coming across. Finally he can apply the balm this girl so needs to be soothed with. 

''Cherry on the cake' - it is quite suitable (even if you think it triteSmile) actually I quite liked it - it does have ''bakery' all over it

Sometimes it is the smallest gestures that make the maximum impact which was the case here, there was no way that Sanskaar could have imagined that a simple thing like rasogullas would have Swara unlock her heart. She was already weakening from carrying her burdens alone and did need a shoulder to cry on - Sanskaar was the perfect person here - he is the only one who can truly heal her, or rather convince her to move on and give life another chance.

Then that beautiful moment sealed with a kiss- it was perfect Day Dreaming. In some ways the circumstances could be seen as "wrong" but that is what actually made it so right. That one kiss- it did SO much. It healed old hurts, it made them acknowledge what they feel, it made hearts race, most of all it threw hope out of that box opened into light and made the rest of the nasty stuff feel like it had real chances to soon disappear. There was symbolism in giving into that too as it means Swara is ready to let new love in, real love and not what came before which wasn't love at all. 

I feel so nice and quite a bit relieved reading your take - it actually astounds me - that is what I would want a reader to understand but was not sure if the few lines were sufficient to express all of those emotions. Now I know what inspires me to write - it is the hope of reading such lovely comments from you. HugHugHug

She regrets it as I knew she would but that in itself if the beauty of it. All over, the feels were amazing and it made me feel warm and tingly and still moved in a nice way! 

Yes, Swara regrets it but then as you said that was expected of her, she has not yet forgiven herself for her infatuation, how can she be positive about her ''surrender'.


Lovely chapter Nyna, eagerly await the next!

Lots of love 

Shru xoxo


Dear Shru,

Replies in blue above, will try updating by weekend - submerged in spreadsheets and baby yarn

love,
Nyna


Edited by Nynaeve - 11 May 2016 at 7:03am

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
Nynaeve

Joined: 06 November 2015
Posts: 4160

Posted: 11 May 2016 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Soundharya_01

Hey Nyna..
Sorry for not replying the previous but I actually did..! I wrote a big essay but sadly I didn't notice my net connection off..and so it didn't get posted and in turn I got very frustratedBig smileWink and I thought to reply for the third chapter and so know I am ..a little early !

Net connections can be so infuriating - I remember the same happening to me (and I was replying to more than a dozen chapters at once). I was literally howling but have since learnt my lesson. I type all my comments in a text file and then upload once I am sure of the net connection. But that aside, I am so happy that you have commented.

It was an interesting chapter ..swara's past was very sad one and even her contribution is there in spoiling it she must have given some thought about her family who as brought her up ..but she was too blind in love ...I first suspected it to be laksh but it was someone else ..phew !! Know I can expect Raglak ..WinkBig smile

So you found the chapter interesting, regarding your guess that it was Lakshya, it would have made it very difficult for Sanskaar Maheshwari to even commence the fight for love, right. But we still have some more chapters and it could be RagLak in future.

RagSan bonding is too adorable ..Sanskaar is a true gentleman ..he I making me go crazy ...He is so caring for the sisters ..I an understand the depth of his love when he feels for Swara ,When she said she is  "abandoned" she is too hurt ..I feel sad for her ..

Ragini and Sanskaar - yes - even I love their bonding - there could be a beautiful friendship between those two and I am happy that you liked it. And Sanskaar is such a gentleman that it is impossible for him to even imagine any guy letting down a girl - for Swara it was abandonment as she had left her whole world for a guy who did not even turn up.

But the kiss was unexpected maybe due to overflow of emotions ..but I literally enjoyed it ..do continue soon 

The kiss was, yes unexpected, but they had to cross a line - how long did they plan to continue as friends when their feelings certainly ran deeper?

Lots of love 

Soundharya..

Dear Soundharya,

Replied in blue above

love,
Nyna

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Alohomora_X

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
Nynaeve

Joined: 06 November 2015
Posts: 4160

Posted: 11 May 2016 at 7:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sujayricky

Res
Unres
Nyna a superb update Clap
All the scene was very beautifully written
Thank you so much

I loved ragsan bonding you have awesomely written their bonding.
Sanskar winning ragini trust was superb and ragini also trust him now

It appears that Ragini and Sanskaar being friends is quite loved - I cannot tell how thrilled I am to know that you liked it. Yes, Sanskaar winning Ragini's trust is quite important considering how protective she is now about Swara

And swara past was really a heartbreaking past Cry first shekhar and dida and now this bibul Angry poor swara her only support is ragini. Swaragini bonding and understanding is awesome but that kiss was a big surprised to me Embarrassed and that kiss have a delicious part of this story

Yes,Swara has had a difficult past made all the more hard by the self-inflicted punishment of not forgiving herself. But now that Sanskaar knows her past, he would help her heal. Regarding the kiss, well even both Swara and Sanskaar were a little surprised but then it would help their story progress too.Smile

Truly a lovely update
Update soon
Thanks for pm

Dear Sujay,

Replied in blue above,

Nyna
Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
Nynaeve

Joined: 06 November 2015
Posts: 4160

Posted: 11 May 2016 at 7:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lucky.m

NynaHugHug
That was heat breaking nynu ..poor swaraCry Crybut glad she opened up to sanskaar 

It was but then Swara at that point was really not thinking clearly - and now that she has opened up to Sanskaar he would be able to help her heal.

Totally love the breezy flow of SS ..the freindship b/w ragini and sanskaar , sis duo missing him and the rasogullas that triggered swara to remeber her past , beautifully doneStarClap

The Ragini and Sanskaar bonding - well that is a hit and I am thrilled to bits.

To tell the truth, I think this chapter is the longest I have ever written (not that I have written muchWink) so am glad that you enjoyed the pace.

and the most important part ..kiss ..I think that going to be an important part in triggering serious thinking in both,  esp swara ..

Oh yes - a lot of thinking about that kiss in the next chapterLOL

cant wait for next yummy treat..Smile

Will  try to update by the weekend - a little submerged in spreadsheets and baby yarn.Wink

love
Lucky

Dear Lucky,

Replied in blue above

love,
Nyna
Seriously. IF-Dazzler
Seriously.
Seriously.

Joined: 07 December 2015
Posts: 4132

Posted: 11 May 2016 at 11:37am | IP Logged
Nyna.. Hug darling.. I hold myself from giving (small) long comment.. Due to lack of time.. But I can't man..

Ohh what an update it was I'm soo. Day Dreaming got goosebumps man.. Soo Swara ran away from her family with her sister.. Who is that bitch biplu Kumar.. Dead .. I hate such kinda person...

Hayyy hayyyee.. Kiss was superb.. Sharing her sorrow with him.. Hmmm... Delicious..

San gini... Friendship was too good.. War ended in deal.. Good.. Shopping.. Scene.. LOL .. Like Sanskaar here.. Soo Swara liked his selection.. She didn't say a word.. Embarrassed .

Then.. Soo Mrs das.. Is no one for them still helped them.. What a generosity... Clap ..

Totally I loved your cappuccino... It's simply sooo yummmy... I usually like mocha..


With love..

Kam...

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Nynaeve

Nynaeve IF-Dazzler
Nynaeve
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Posts: 4160

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 2:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Vaiyambar...

Nyna.. Hug darling.. I hold myself from giving (small) long comment.. Due to lack of time.. But I can't man.. 

Kamila - you are supposed to be busy with your brother's wedding and yet you take time to comment Hug

Ohh what an update it was I'm soo. Day Dreaming got goosebumps man.. Soo Swara ran away from her family with her sister.. Who is that bitch biplu Kumar.. Dead .. I hate such kinda person... 

Bipul Kumar - yes -  a man who truly has no spine but maybe if he is given a chance he would tell his taleWink

Hayyy hayyyee.. Kiss was superb.. Sharing her sorrow with him.. Hmmm... Delicious..

Ok, so you liked the kiss (that took me the longest to write and left me so nervousBlushing And who else could she share her sorrows with him, how long could she resist him?

San gini... Friendship was too good.. War ended in deal.. Good.. Shopping.. Scene.. LOL .. Like Sanskaar here.. Soo Swara liked his selection.. She didn't say a word.. Embarrassed .

My take at Sanskaar and Ragini friendship is a hit - yayy - I am thrilledSmile Shopping - we all know that Sanskaar has an impeccable taste - and there was no way Swara would dislike anything he selectedWink
Then.. Soo Mrs das.. Is no one for them still helped them.. What a generosity... Clap ..

Yes Mrs. Das helped them - she had her reasons - will come in future chaptersSmile

Totally I loved your cappuccino... It's simply sooo yummmy... I usually like mocha.. 

Welcome to the coffee lovers clubs - our Gods  (flavours) might be different but we belong to the same religion (coffee)Wink


With love..

Kam...

Dear Kamila,

Replied in blue above.

Love,
Nyna

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Seriously.

hp_2006 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 5997

Posted: 17 May 2016 at 6:32am | IP Logged
Hey dearest Nyna..

First of all I am really really sorry for a very very late reply..Embarrassed
Chapter 2 and 3 were really beautiful and amazing..!!
Oh god..I am really in love with this story..HeartDay Dreaming

Chapter 2
I loved the way you started the chapter with Swara's thoughts about the stranger..Embarrassed And then after some days, she again meets him..Big smileBig smile And yippie..He is Sanskaar after allDancing

And soon their friendship blossomsEmbarrassedEmbarrassed I really loved the way you developed their relation..They both had felt that initial connection, Sanskaar especiallyDay Dreaming... and now they share a wonderful camaraderie.

Now Ragini seems to be really protective about Swara and she wants to meet the guy..I really loved the warning looks Ragini gave at the end to himLOL and his response to her.

Chapter 3

Ha ha so Sanskaar and Ragini are now thick friends..LOL I loved it..Wink especially the bestestest friend bit..LOL Really Nyna, you always make me smile with your writing style..Its so refreshing..Hug

Ragini is quick to understand Swara's and Sanskaar;s feelings to each other, and she even lets them be with each other, by excusing herself . Wow nice..I really love this RaginiBig smile

And that red dress waala incident was lovely too..Swara accepting it silently when she came to know that it was Sanskaar's choice..Wink

Ok now coming to the main part, its the revelation of their past story..I was shocked when I heard that Swara decided to elope with that person, Bipul..I had assumed that, they lost their family in some accident or something like that..But this..was really unexpected..

I have a doubt here Nyna..Who is Anjan Gupta , that guitarist..What is his connection with Swara's bad luck, according to that fortune teller gypsy..I am confused..Please clear it..SmileSmile

So apparently, Bipul had dumped her..Or was it because of some misunderstanding..I really hope that this person wont return into Swara's life now, with any excuses...

And the kiss Blushingwas magical..uff..Swasan..Day Dreaming But both of them are left confused of the kiss..Especially Swara..Now what is going to happen..Please update soon..I really love this story..

lots of love Hug
Naina


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Nynaeve

Cogito_Ergo_Sum IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 17 May 2016 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Hey Nyna Hug

Will be back for a detailed Un res as soon as I can, my dear.

Un-Res

Nynu...what a delicious, lip smacking, delectable treat this SS is turning out to be. Hug

And before I write about the plot and your writing (stellar), let me deviate into some of the details which struck me when I started reading this fic. Somehow, for me, apart from the meta narrative, little nuances do matter (perhaps its my mild OCD LOL Wink), and I just loved the way your SS title as well as the chapter titles fit into your central theme---your love for a good warm cup of coffee. Tongue

"Sweet Deals"--wow, sweet indeed. As a name for a coffee place, this even trumps "Central Perk" from Friends. Smile And then we have the chapters: "Life begins after coffee", "Dark Chocolate", "Sweet as Honey", and
"Sugar Glass". Clap  Clap

I must confess, I'm not much of a coffee person, more of an adrak-elaichi chai kinda gal. Smile The only coffee I drink is when
a good cuppa of tea is absolutely impossible to come by, and then it is a Hazelnut Mocha or a Caramel Latte. I know, I know, as a coffee aficionado you must be rolling your eyes at me (My Hubby does all the time. Wink) But yes, oh yes, cinnamon is amazing.

I love the subtle wit that threads its way through a lot of your writing---in the foreword itself, we had you saying that you wake up on some days just for coffee (I feel the same way for my masala chai. Wink) Chocolates (Toblerone, Guylian, Ferrero Rocher and Cote D'Or) are passions of mine, too. LOL As are SwaSan, cookies and conversations...all combined, you had me hooked from the foreword itself!

As I mentioned in our PM exchange, I just loved the pace and tempo which you set in SwaSan's evolving dynamic. Right from their first meeting, the slight initial friction between them, settling to them both contemplating the other with interest and a small frisson of attraction, the note Sanskaar left for her, Swara's instinctive response, it was all so well done. I could almost see this happening in front of my eyes, and it made for a very warm, lovely picture. Smile

I am not much of a believer in "love at first sight", I do think that there are  people who are meant to be together, but that bond takes time to bloom into all its lovely glory. Kudos to you for giving SwaSan the time to explore what they felt for each other, their interest in each other growing into a lovely friendship and a warm camaraderie, their conversations filling their hearts with contentment and joy, and them finding peace and togetherness even in their companionable silences. That's what comfort and love is all about isn't it? Not just excitement and heart racing, knee shaking desire. But warmth, comfort and a feeling of being at home with the person, no matter what.

That small moment you described, of Swara looking into Sanskaar's eyes, and flushing at the intense ardor in them, a little nervous at the longing flaring in her own heart, was so lovely. Embarrassed Attraction distilled into a lovely moment there, with intense yet subtle writing.

And like I said before, I loved how you described the way Ragini was so very protective of Swara. I felt all warm and happy reading about the bond between the siblings---reminded me of my own very close bond with my brother. After all these years, I am still his "gudiya". Smile The way a protective Ragini suspiciously perused Sanskaar was really fun!

And then of course, the masterstroke which departed from the serial---the genuine, heartfelt friendship between Sanskaar and Ragini. With their common interests (foremost being Swara!) being the bulwark of this friendship. Loved the way Ragini gave her blessings, as it were, for Sanskaar to take his relationship forward with her sister.

The way the wounds of Swara's past came out---the trigger which pushed her to break down the walls she had erected around her heart, and finally confide all in Sanskaar, was well done. The gift Sanskaar brought back with him from Kolkata, evoking some very tender yet painful memories, the longing for her mother.

And then the whole story came tumbling out--Swara's girlish infatuation for the rather self centered, narcissistic Bipul Kumar. You know, for a moment there, I wondered if Bipul was just a name Lakshya had used as an alias, but perhaps I was barking up the wrong tree there. LOL And I was wondering what was the deal with Anjan Gupta---you'd mentioned there about how Swara was captivated by his playing. That doubt got cleared yesterday night, with Chapter 4. Smile

I liked the way you've inverted the serial portrayal of SwaSan's pasts in a way, with significant variations, of course. Swara is the one who emerged disillusioned and battered by a doomed infatuation (which she thought was love). And Sanskaar, while he too was infatuated with Kavita for a while, shook it off as he realized what he'd felt was a juvenile, callow fascination with a person who never deeply reciprocated, either.

That kiss SwaSan shared after Swara opened up to him was, for want of a better word, magical. As warm and fulfiling and flavorful as a hot cup of masala chai. Embarrassed Day Dreaming Swara registered so many things huh? The way he tasted, his fragrance...yeh toh gayi! Big smile

Sanskaar comes across as such a grounded, clued in, mature dude. He knows he loves Swara, wants her with every fibre of his being. But he doesn't want to rush her, he understands she needs time to come to terms with her feelings. The advice he gave Ragini about opening up to family and close friends, about giving them a chance to address the misconceptions they might have, was so mature. One never knows, they might not react the way one fears they would. Smile

So now we have Ragini about to confess something to Swara. I think this has something to do with Lakshya. Big smile Would he be related to Sanskaar in this fic? I think he must be, Sanskaar does mention his 2 male cousins, sons of his bade papa. So Lakshya it is huh? I just hope my earlier fear (that he used Bipul Kumar as an alias) turns out to be incorrect. Big smile

And oh yes--before I forget, I loved that witty little bit about how Sanskaar wanted to kick himself but lacked the yogic flexibility to do so! LOL

Waiting eagerly for the next chapter, Nyna my dear!

Loads of Love

---Viji






Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 18 May 2016 at 4:57am

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Nynaeve

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