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Arnav Khushi SS: She will be loved [Complete] (Page 16)

whimsical Senior Member

Joined: 06 March 2010
Posts: 408

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 4:50am | IP Logged


                                                                                           Part 7 

Khushi had deliberately arrived at the office two hours early. Arnav had insisted that she arrive slightly late and "make an entrance" but the very thought of everyone staring at her literally made her break out into cold sweat. 

Even so, her discreet entry did not go unnoticed. The receptionist and peons had stared, open-mouthed at her, as she greeted them. 

As soon as she reached her cabin, she called Arnav.

"I can't do this," she gasped, "It's just not me."

"What is?"

"Everything. You should have seen how the receptionist was staring at me. I'm not like Lavanya and those other girls."

"Of course you're not. You're better, you're you. You don't have to try to be like them."

She smiled, touched, but completely unconvinced. 

"So why am I dressed like them?" she pointed out. 

"Because you can. And also - wait - receptionist? Are you at the office right now?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice. 

"Doesn't work only start at 9?"

"Um, yes."

"Have you had breakfast?"

She did not reply. She could not eat when she was nervous. 

"Meet me at the Starbucks across the street in exactly fifteen minutes."

Before she could reply, he had hung up.

It was just as well. She would not have known what to say. She would be lying if she said that she was okay, that he did not have to inconvenience himself. Truth was, she did want to see him.

She was feeling the way she usually did before a panic attack hit her, and knew that, somehow, Arnav's presence would help calm her nerves.

"So, I'm like chocolates and adrak ki chai," Arnav said, grinning, when she shared this with him about fifteen minutes later in the coffee shop. 


"Didn't you tell me the other day, that whenever you're nervous, you always reach out for chocolates or make yourself some ginger tea?"

"You remembered?" she remarked, pleasantly surprised. 

"Why wouldn't I?" he shrugged, as he went back to studying the menu card. 

She was about to tell him that she was not used to people taking an interest in her, but she stopped herself and smiled instead.

And then she remembered.  


She remembered how besotted she was by him when she had first begun to work for him. How every smile of his would make her heart race, how his kind, charming ways had made her feel special, in a way that nobody else ever had. How, for five years, she had secretly harboured a crush on him, knowing that he would never reciprocate her feelings, but contenting herself with being the perfect PA to him and making him happy in her own small ways. 

Her heart would skip a beat everytime he would thank her, and that was enough. She was happy with the way things were and had never expected anything from him... and so, when he asked her out on a date one day, she had felt that she might just burst with joy. 

And now...

Maybe Arnav too would find her boring after some time. 

"Khushi?" Arnav asked, visibly concerned as his eyes pored into hers. 


"You're crying."

"Oh. Um, it's these contact lenses I'm wearing. You told me to ditch my spectacles and wear contact lenses, remember?"

"You can't lie to me," he said gently, reaching out to wipe away the small tear with his thumb, "What is it, Khushi?"

She wanted, most desperately, to remain stoic, to not appear weak. She had had enough of being made a fool by others. But something in the lingering feel of his skin against hers seemed to melt away her resolve. 

"I feel... so tired. I don't know why... I just feel... completely burnt out. Sometimes I ... sometimes all I want is to crawl into a small hole and just stay there, away from everyone."


"Everyone," she confirmed, looking away, so she would not see the disappointment she thought she heard in his voice.

"What happened, Khushi? You were so happy during the weekend when we met for shopping and all."

"I was, I really was! I had so much fun this weekend, and it's all thanks to you. But I don't know, I guess when I went back to the office, it all came back to me - the person who I really am. Maybe when we were shopping and having fun together, without meaning to, I was pretending to be someone I am not. But like you said, reality has a way of catching up, doesn't it? This is me, depressed, morose, boring."

"You're not boring."

This was perhaps the twentieth time he had told her so since they had met, and he did not sound the least bit exasperated.

It made her feel incredibly sad, for him. 

"I'm so sorry, Arnav. You are trying so hard to help me and I am just so... pathetic. I think you're wasting your time."

"Khushi, if you are depressed, that is nothing to be apologetic about. Almost everyone goes through depression, in varying degrees. And it is not impossible to surmount."

"I'll be okay, don't worry," she lied, getting up to leave. 

"Wait. Just hear me out for a minute. You were not pretending to be somebody else this weekend. That was you. You were you... just a freer version. Deep inside, you are a confident, cheerful, witty, and very interesting person."

She smiled at him indulgently, clearly skeptical. Talk about pushing it!

He continued, "If your self-confidence really was that low, why would you have felt so bad when NK began to date Sheetal? Why do you feel bad that he treats you like you don't matter? Because you know that you do matter. You know that you deserve respect. Am I right or am I right?"

"But then I - why am I... like this?" she muttered.

"Because, for some reason, you have conditioned yourself to think a certain way about yourself. And the more you saw yourself in a certain way, the more that perception became ingrained in you, and that perception transferred to others as well, and their behaviour towards you confirmed what you thought. It's time to break out of the vicious cycle, Khushi."

Khushi stared at him for a minute or two, not knowing what to say, and then, she felt a stream of faraway memories waft their way towards her, like a faint hum of a melody. She barely had time to think as the words poured out of her mouth. 

"I was very young when my parents died. I was brought up by my aunt and uncle. They were the best and gave me so much love, but I always felt... like I had to be grateful. I know they would hate it if they knew how I felt, so I kept it to myself." 

She did not know why she was sharing it with him, or if it had anything at all to do with what they were talking about. But that was the thing with Arnav - she could just about tell him anything. 

He seemed to mull over her words for some time, before he said, "My parents also died when I was very young. My sister, Anjali, looked after me and has been everything for me since. Unlike you, though, I did not feel all that grateful and thoroughly enjoyed pestering her. I was the most annoying little brother you could possibly imagine. But I do understand why you felt the way you did. It's probably why you still fail to understand that you deserve all the good things the world has to offer."

"Why are you so nice?" she asked, knowing full well that he had lied about being an annoying brother. She could tell, just by the gleam in his eyes when he talked about his sister, how deeply he loved her. 

"Why do you always ask such weird questions? Now tell me, how do you really feel about going back to the office and kicking ass?"

"I wish I could carry you around in my pocket," she said, only half-joking.

"You know, even the most confident-looking people do not start off by feeling confident. Everyone has their insecurities. Everyone. Maybe even Beyonce. They simply fake it until they make it, until confidence becomes a matter of habit."


"Trust me."

And so it was, that an hour or so later, when she walked into the office, she was able to pretend that she was in a dreamlike world of her own, a make-believe place where she was special and important and, as the hair stylist had put it, fabulous. 

When NK literally gaped at her, starry-eyed, and let out an almost breathless "You look absolutely stunning," on seeing her, she did not even blush. She simply smiled slightly, as if she knew all along. 

Once she had closed her cabin door, she regained her breath and relived her small victory. A sense of satisfaction came over her but it was tinged with sadness. The person NK had complimented was not her. The thought that she was not good enough for him persisted. 

The thought was continuing to niggle her when Lavanya burst into her cabin. 

"O-M-G Chamkili, everyone said you had a makeover! I just couldn't believe it and had to come and see! How could you go shopping without me?"

Khushi let out her first genuine smile since she had come back to the office after breakfast. She did not care much for all those people complimenting her or asking her where she had done her hair and the likes. They were mostly people who had not taken much notice of her before, and who would go back to doing so if she went back to her old clothes.

But Lavanya would always be just her friend Lavanya. Upset, more than anything else, at being left out of a shopping spree.

"Um, I went with Arnav," Khushi replied sheepishly.

Lavanya's angry pout could not hold for much longer after that. Her face broke out into a beaming smile as she said, "Well, if it's with Mr Boyfriend that you went, then I can't exactly complain."

Khushi felt bad on seeing how happy she was, and wanted to correct her, but bit her lip instead. Explaining that Arnav was only pretending to be her boyfriend, would mean revealing the reason and thus revealing that she had dated NK, and NK had told her that he was not comfortable with people knowing. And even if she made Lavanya swear not to tell anyone, she knew that Lavanya, out of loyalty, would definitely find ways to express her anger towards NK. 

No matter how hurt she had been by NK's actions, Khushi could not help but be protective of him. She would probably never be able to tolerate people badmouthing him. After all, she had liked NK for years before they begun to date. And it was not because they were no longer together, that the qualities she had liked in him would cease to matter. Her heart was not as fickle as his. 

"Ahem, ahem!" Lavanya interrupted her thoughts emphatically.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about... This whole makeover thing feels quite odd."

There were some things, at least, that she could still confide in Lavanya.

"Why? You were always really pretty and the nicest girl ever. But the makeover is a fun way to shake things up a bit, don't you think? After all, girls gotta have fun, yeah?"

When Khushi smiled at Lavanya in gratitude, she could feel her eyes beginning to glaze with tears. Lavanya's words had been casual, offhand almost, and yet, it was probably what Khushi needed to hear the most. 


Part 8

Edited by whimsical - 20 May 2016 at 6:14am

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DMGFan-2b-not2b IF-Dazzler

Joined: 08 July 2009
Posts: 3259

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:19am | IP Logged
Lovely update though I must confess I do want to shake Khushi up. I wonder where does Arnav get oodles of patience to deal with her ? :-)

But I guess that Khushi has been used to pining away and idolizing NK for so long that she cant see anything any other way including the fact that NK is a A-Class jerk.

I am guessing that NK is going to start pursuing Khushi again courtesy her new looks and if Khushi capitulates, I am going to be so upset :-) It would show NK that she really does not value herself and then she cant really complaint if NK treats her badly.

Lavanya is the ideal friend, who knows what to say, when to say and how to say it to perk her friend up!

Arnav, needless to say, is a sweetheart!

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amus5 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 December 2012
Posts: 5422

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:23am | IP Logged
first day first show -- fantabulous. NK the goldfish YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR *** 

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arnavmaan IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 January 2015
Posts: 5113

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:27am | IP Logged

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anjali-anjali Goldie

Joined: 25 June 2013
Posts: 2023

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:33am | IP Logged
nice update

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lechuarshi IF-Dazzler

Joined: 02 May 2014
Posts: 2623

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:45am | IP Logged
arnav is so patientConfusedConfused poor guy...
he have a deep feelings for khushi for sure..WinkWink..the way he boost u her confidence, broke down every insecurities and all...
NK is not nice ok...when khushi did her make over..he stared at her totally smitten...he is just looking at her outer beauty.jerk...but arnav i really love himEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed

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nandrajogdivya IF-Dazzler

Joined: 14 March 2012
Posts: 4729

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 6:00am | IP Logged
awesome i love it

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Uzii Goldie

Joined: 02 November 2012
Posts: 1865

Posted: 12 May 2016 at 6:10am | IP Logged
Beautiful chapter khusi should concentrate on arnav n not on that stupid NK who is a jerk himself n also rejected her

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