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Dark FF: The Withered Angel|Part 7|12/11 (Page 14)

nihalove Senior Member

Joined: 27 October 2014
Posts: 830

Posted: 29 April 2016 at 7:25am | IP Logged

kowshira9 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2014
Posts: 3144

Posted: 29 April 2016 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
kindlelover Groupbie

Joined: 20 October 2015
Posts: 79

Posted: 29 April 2016 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
Oh my god.
I suppose this story is going to be too heart wrenching...
Would love to read further.
Continue soon..
..AgniJyotsna.. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 July 2014
Posts: 11342

Posted: 02 May 2016 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
Part 1


2nd April, 2016

Today was the day, 20 years back that I had lost my virginity to one of my maternal grandmother's drink-mates. This was the day I began losing everything in my life and ironically this very day I got a chance to restart my life. Agonizingly, the sharp memory power which I possess was wasted like many other skills of mine. A rebirth to me, away from the atmosphere which killed me from within.

I had applied for one of the openings at AR Designs, given that designing was the only thing which I learned from Nani. Since I had learned English to entertain my foreign clients, who were encouraged by that moron Shyam as they gave me more money than the usual customers, giving the interview was not so difficult. And today I had to meet the CEO of AR Designs though I am still unaware of the reason which made someone applying such a lowly job meet the man running this huge empire.

Arnav Singh Raizada. I had heard his name quite some times in my friends' group. He was a regular client of the agency I was a part of. As much as try to run away from my past, it seems to chase me faster. I just prayed in my heart before meeting him and my prayers didn't go unheard for once in my life.

I could sense him eyeing at me with the same lust and desire which I found in every man who ravished me but this man seemed to ravish me, in his office with just his eyes. I was scared to answer his question when he questioned me about my background and my past. I knew I had to answer him but I lacked guts to reveal the truth, especially after the encounter with the inspector that day.

I lied. I hated myself for that but I lied. Lied that I was based near Lucknow where I learned English but couldn't take up a job due to family. Lied that finally I was able to break through their defenses to apply for various jobs. It was not completely false either but I still regretted lying and that guilt had to continue as I bagged the job based on a lie I had told them. I was appointed as the Assistant Designer much to my surprise but apparently my designs were of high standard.

Little did they know that I had the strange skill on showing the pains I had endured through designs. Showing whirlwinds, the designs where you couldn't decide the beginning or the end of the main design or the designs which had roses sans thorns, depicting how I wanted my life to be. Alas, my life was literally a bed of roses, of thorns of those roses, which bruised me, tormented me and mad me bleed in pain, but like the thorns which cannot understand one's pain, none seemed to understand my condition. In fact blamed me for touching the thorns unbeknownst to the fact that there was no choice offered to me.

It was not something to be happy about, after all it sprang from my pain. But it is what it was. I am not a victim ashamed of herself. I am a victor who is proud of her strength which led her through the pain which she endured. And I hope to never lose.

Arnav Singh Raizada doesn't seem much of a threat at least for now. His lusty eyes are nothing I cannot bear but I can feel that some part of me already hates him for reminding me of all those packs of wolves who attacked me like an easy prey.

The beauty which is possessed satiated the lust of many but I became the culprit and they remained to be what they are; neither did they lose their respect in the society nor were they reminisced only when someone wanted to hurl insults. But I, I became the culprit of every wretched home, every divorce, every pain in the marriage. And this time I was not repeating my mistake. I will not let anyone point a finger at me and if they do, I will make sure that they take back their taunts and pointing fingers.

I hope I will be able to keep the man lusting for me away from me. As I reread this line, I feel like an idiot to my own self. Hope? After all that I have endured, I am still hoping? When I had left the hope that my daughters would be safe and sound then how can I dare to hope I would be safe from the prying eyes of my boss? Stupid heart of mine. Never learns its lessons not to trust and hope, diary. Because all destiny does is test. Test till one gives up or breaks. But I will not let it win. I will not give up and I can stay satisfied only when I don't trust or hope.

Because all people do with trust is to break it. Wondrous it is that still my heart didn't learn that.

I know I have to sleep now but I am scared. Scared that the same dreams of people taking away every bit of my body to satisfy themselves would haunt. I got the most horrific memory of mine yesterday as the dream; the memory in which I was shot by one of my customers who thought he had every right on me, even the right of snatching my soul. I was treated alright but that bas**** who goes by the name Varun decided that I work the very next day as he needed money. I could fight a thousand external devils as I have nothing more to lose but do I have the power to win the internal conflicts? I want to say yes but I am afraid I cannot. I don't want to go back to those memories but every single man who eyes me lustily, every single thing, seems to remind me of my dreadful past.

I wish I had a mother who could lull me into peaceful slumber, where every dark memory is locked out. But this wish, like many others, will remain unfulfilled...



Edited by .MereRangMein. - 02 May 2016 at 3:51pm

The following 95 member(s) liked the above post:


hajr IF-Rockerz

Joined: 30 April 2007
Posts: 6718

Posted: 02 May 2016 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
Poor girl so much in pain 
No one is there for her.
Hope someone see her pain soon b4 she lose hope.
ranogill IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 12 September 2012
Posts: 18498

Posted: 02 May 2016 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
zariya123 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 August 2012
Posts: 5077

Posted: 02 May 2016 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
so much pain surrounding her
Lily30 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 October 2013
Posts: 6481

Posted: 02 May 2016 at 5:10pm | IP Logged
Loved the update, brilliantly written, take a bow Clap
Very emotional filled with pain Cry
Eager for the next part.
Thank you for the pm Hug

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