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Joined: 31 March 2015
Joined: 19 December 2015
The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:
Joined: 31 March 2015
Joined: 19 December 2015
THE TOUCH AND THE RECOVERY...
"Aziz Koka ka paigam kal hi aya hay Shahenshah! Aapka tarkib kaam kar gaya! Khwaja Moin or unke 2 sathi ko saabut ke sath griftar kar liya gaya hay! Tahekikat abhi bhi jari hay..."[Aziz Koka's message has been received yesterday majesty! Your plan is successful! Khwaja Moin has been arrested along with his two assistants! The investigation is moving on...] The courtier announced the latest news standing beside the royal bed of his majesty's bedroom. A bright beam of smile reflected inside the pale orbs of the emperor's eyes; the slight smile of victory gave a trace of colour in his white, bloodless face...
It has been day, and the emperor has become able to interact with the visitors after the victory against death. The last 24 hours have told upon his heath very prominently... it seems his age has increased for 10 years in a single night. He has almost got mingled with the bed, with his regal eyes which used to be full of youth and enthusiasm all the time staring listlessly. The natural glow has hidden behind the pale and pallid shade of face; as if someone has sucked out all the blood from him. His head was loosely lying on the pillow with his right hand kept on his chest, and the left arm, the wounded one, which had a long way ahead to get back the capacity of moving it normally, was lying beside, with the palm touched by Maan Singh, who was sitting on knees on the ground beside the bed with a sad yet relieved face. The king of Amer, Bhagwant Das and others were standing near his head and the important officers like Todarmal, Mahesh Das and some others were standing at side. All have a trace of relieved smile in their eyes to see the emperor out of danger after the long drastic night.
Jalal for once moved his eyes toward Maan Singh, and smiled affectionately while moving his fingers to caress his hand. Blinked decently to him to ensure that he is fine now, he looked at Todermal with his weak yet professional eyes. After a bit trial he managed to speak with very low and listless voice "O...or Sa..samar..kand?"
"Uaha se abhi koi sambad yeaha tak aya nehi hay Shahenshah, parantu hume purn ashtha hay iss baat par ki paristhiti humare sath hay!" [No news from there has still come, but we hape complete hope that the situation is in our favour!] Todarmal stated while everybody nodded to agree. Jalal tiredly closed his eyes and sighed of relief; his face was now glowing with a content satisfaction...
An officer was going to propose something more, but was cut by a sudden entrance of a melodious, yet authoritative voice "Abhi Shahenshah ko bishram ki avasyakta hay. Iis liye unke sath rajkarya ke bisay me abhi jitni kam charcha ki jaye utna hi accha hay." [Now his Majesty needs rest. So it will be better not to talk much about politics much in front of him.]
"Jodha... Aao..." [Come Jodha...] King Bharmal hence declared her highness's presence. "Tum Shahenshah ke paas raho, hum sab abhi chalte hay. Shahenshah ko bishram ki avasyakta hay..." [You stay with him, we are going now. The emperor needs rest...]
Jodha nodded with a decent smile in her lips. The courtiers bid her respect and went off the room one by one. "Todarmal ji..." she stopped Todarmal suddenly. "Kuch pata chala kisne hamla kiya tha uss bare me?" [Did you get anything about the attacker?]
"Atatayi ka parichay mil gaya hay. Ek mamuli sa khuni hay jo paise leke khun karta hay... Par Hindustan se nehi... Gajni se aya tha..." [We got the identity of the attacker. He is a hired killer... But he is from Gajni, not from Hindustan...] He looked thoughtful. "Pata nehi kon hay iske piche. Khoj chal raha hay Begam Sahiba... Asha karte hay kal tak asliyat samne aa jayega." [Don't know who is actually behind this. Investigation is going on, hope to reveal the truth by tomorrow.]
"Jo bhi ho, nehi lagta ki o Hindustan se hoga... Sayad Kabul se..." [It does not seem to be from Hindustan. Maybe from Kabul...] Jodha bit her lips in thoughts. "Jo bhi pata chale hume zarur batayiyega..." She smiled. "Or ek nivedan kare aapse?" [Please make me aware of every detail. And may I request one other thing?]
"Adesh kijie Begam Sahiba." [Order, your highness.]
"Shahenshah abhi bhi thik nehi hue hay... Aisi sharirik avastha me rajniti ke bare me zyada sochna unko haani poucha sakti hay..." [His majesty is not fit till now... In this condition of health thinking much about politics will tell upon him...] She moved her eyes towards Jalal for a while who was now lying on the bed lifelessly closing his eyes and sighed. "Hume gyat hay ki abhi Hindustan ki jo paristhiti hay uaha Shahenshah ki avasyakta hay... To hum kahe rahe the ki..." [I know that in this situation of Hindustan it's very important to have his presence... So I was telling that...] She stopped to breath and then continued, "ki Shahenshah ke swasth hone tak agar koi avasyak paramash karni ho unse, aap unse pahele ekbar hume bataiyega..." [That may you tell me once before you approach his majesty for any important matter during these days?]
"Zarur Begam Sahiba."[Obviously your highness.]Todarmal understood what she meant and readily accepted the proposal. He bid her and his majesty, and left the room.
"Shahenshah..." Jodha, putting up the veil from eyes, sat beside the bed. His head was lolling on the pillow, eyes were closed; rate of breathing and the frown tells clearly that he still is suffering from some physical agony. Only one night, and already there is deep dark patches under eyes, which are looking even more prominent in the bloodless face. The lips have lost their normal reddish shade, has totally mixed with the skin... Has she ever seen him in such a vulnerable state of health? Something stung in her heart to see his condition...
"Shahenshah!" She called again, this time touching his hairs. He opened eyes with difficulties, gulped to fetch strength and tried to smile though could not. She affectionately started caressing his hairs and he gazed at her eyes with his hazy glare, unable to move his eyes... She has bathed just now; the droplets of water are still shining on her face, the wet locks has come out from the barrier of the yellow veil that has covered her hairs, are kissing her glossy cheeks with passionate affection... She was in a ordinary blue lahenga with yellow veil, without any type of ornament adorning in her beautiful body, any type of makeup brightening her beautiful face... she was unadorned...she was complete... like the drizzle of the first monsoon, like the pure morning dew... her presence itself was enlightening the strangulating environment of the room, was spreading the solace of peace... He kept on gazing and gazing till the eyelids get heavy again, forgetting all his physical agony... her presence, her touch itself is the best medicine to heal Jalal! Perhaps he was so lost in her, that he did not notice that another pair of beautiful hazel eyes, with cloud of tears, are too staring at his face, with same mesmerization, same eagerness, same peace...
Jodha's palm slowly moved towards his forehead while passing through the rough hairs. She got tensed for a while... his skin was hotter than normal... temperature is increasing again...
"Firse bukhar char raha hay!"[Again fever is increasing!] She exclaimed in a concerned voice.
"K..kuch nehi hoga!" [N..nothing will happen!] He exhaled in almost muted voice, to assure her that he is fine. She smiled sadly, and ruffled his hairs. Wiping the trace of tears coming out from eyes, she suddenly stood up.
"Iske pahele ki bukhar firse char jaye, jaldi se ausadhi pee lijie..." [Before it increases more, you have to take medicine...] She ordered. "Hum aapke liye khana lekar aye hay. Kal sare din aapne kuch nehi khaya... abhi bina khake ausadhi bhi to nehi le sakte na!" [I have brought food for you. You have not eaten anything yesterday. You cannot take medicine without eating anything.]She turned back and signed something to her follower maids. Jalal's eyes had totally missed the battalion of maids behind, now he got to see them... there were 3-4 girls holding some plates containing food, medicine and other necessary accessories. One of the maids handed a bowl to Jodha after her order in sign language. The sight of the bowl and the thought of eating something suddenly raised a vomiting tendency inside, the physical turmoil came back, and hence he was dropped down into the real world which includes pain, suffering, separation and loneliness!
To reduce the drowsiness and the irritating feelings inside, Jalal tried to hold his head higher and sit by supporting on feet and waist, and discovered that he seriously have no strength left even to pull himself up from bed. The trial of raising the head from pillow again blessed him with the head spinning. "Ahh!" A low yet painful scream automatically came out from inside which worried Jodha. "Kya hua? Kya hua?" [What happened!] She ran and held his shoulders.
"Hum.. hume... baiythna hay!" [I... I want to sit!] he completed the sentence. "Ma...madat kijie na!" [He...help me please!]
Jodha handed the bowl to Moti and made him sit by holding shoulders and the back of head supporting on the heap of pillows. He leaned against those in relax, despite of severe head-ache felt relieved to straighten his back after a long period. "Sukriya!!" [Thank you!] He murmured to his wife with gratitude in voice.
"Sukriya?" [Thank you?]Jodha mocked in banter tone with a light smile at the corner of lips. Then her voice converted into an angry wify tone... "Aap dekh nehi paa rahe hay ki hum sab yeaha hay? Aapne aap uthne ki chesta kyu kar rahe the? Aapne aapko samajhte kya hay aap? Aapne sakti parakhne ka bohot jaldi hay aapko?" [Can't you see that we all are here? What is the reason of your trial of sitting on your own? What do you think of yourself? You are too in hurry to test your strength it seems?] Her scolding voice entered as the sweetest melody in Jalal's ears. His pale face lit with the light of amusement; mesmerized eyes again sank in her divinely beautiful face, and a profound smile spontaneously spread from lips to eyes...
"Aise kya deh rahe hay!" [What are you seeing?] Jodha rebuked. "Chaliye, muh kholie." [open your mouth!]
The spoonful of a white paste, which is the mixture of boiled semi-liquid rice and all the nutrients without a touch of any spice, readily came in front of eyes. "Thora sa kha lijie Shahenshah!" [Eat a little shahenshah!] Jodha pleaded, but he turned his face with puking expression.
"Agar nehi khayenge to sakti kaise milegi shahenshah?" [How will you regain strength without eating?]Jodha touched his chin. "Thora sa kha lijie." [Eat a little...]
"Nehi!" [No!]Jalal uttered like an adamant child.
"Aise nehi karte. Accha ek chammach... Muh kholie..." [It's not done. One spoon please... You're your mouth...]Jodha held his cheek and compelled him to open mouth. "Agar nehi khayenge to ausadhi kaise lenge? Or agar o nehi lenge to thik kaise honge?" [How will you take medicine without eating? And how will you become fit without taking that?]
"Ummm... ummm..." Jalal's protest did not work as she already had inserted the spoon inside his mouth. He gulped the paste with a lot of difficulty and a jolt from deep stomach seemed to spout out. He placed his right palm against his mouth to control the jolt and moved his head in a negative gesture.
"Kuch nhi hua hay!" [Nothing has happened.] Jodha started fanning him with her veil. "Thora sa or. Muh kholie." [A little more. Open mouth.]
"Nehi!" Jalal uttered vulnerably while gasping. "Sab ugalke bahar aa jayega!" [No! I will spout out everything!]
"Nehi Shahenshah, yeh aapka vram hay! Kuch nehi hoga. Kha lijie... Nehi to dawai kaise lenge?" [It's all your thought. Nothing will happen. Eat, else you will be unable to take medicine.] Jodha came closer to him. "Agar ulti hua to hone dijie, magar khana to parega. Nehi to khara nehi ho payenge!" [Spout out if you want, but you have to eat first. Else you will not be able to stand even!]
Jalal did not say anything but also did not pick up his face. She forcefully pulled up his sinking face by chin and caressed his cheeks. "Or ek chammach shahenshah! Meri khatir..." [One spoon more. For my sake?]
How could he refuse her plead... again he opened his mouth and gulped the next spoon, and again the same irritating feelings of vomiting... "Bohot...bohot taklif ho raha hay..." He complained to her in a modest tone holding her hand strongly. "Or... or nehi..." [It's very painful! Not more!]
"Pata hay..." She touched his forehead which was signaling the fever. "Parantu agar nehi khayenge to kaise chalega Shahenshah! Thik hay, abhi so jaiye, bukhar char raha hay...Moti..." [I know... but if you don't eat how will you be alright? Okay, now sleep. Fever is increasing. Moti...] She handled the bowl to her and took the glass of medicine. "Aab yeh pee lijie. Accha lagega..." [Now drink this. You will feel better.]
Jalal looked at the glass with apathy, and then closed eyes. She drew him closer to her body, and held his head higher to feed the medicine. "Pee lijie na Shahenshah!" [Drink it majesty!]
"Nehi peena!"[No!] He murmured like a child in drowsy voice and leaned his head on her- perhaps in half consciousness. Jodha's heart suddenly shivered, but she did not let her emotions to come out. "Aise nehi karte. Chalie, pee lijie..." [It's not done. Come on, drink it...] Her voice drowned in motherly affection. He raised his head, supported that on Jodha's arm, drank the bitter liquid with shrinking face with lots of apathy and placed his hand to throat simultaneously to reduce the feelings of chocking... Jodha wiped his lips with the corner of her veil, cared his hairs which had come on his eyes and he, after staring at her eyes for a moment listlessly, released himself on her chest... his head full of rough and clumsy hair swayed on the curve of her healthy breasts, slowly swinging between the valley of her deep cleavage, and his hot breaths brought a storm in Jodha's soul and heart...
After how long time she got his touch so intensely? It seems to be a long era... It seems all the cells of her body were dying in the thirst of the touch... The warm touch of her man take over her womanhood, her soul filled with an uncanny completeness. He had poured his face inside the depth of her cleavage, slowly kneading his face on the soft moulds of flesh with a suppress moan from inside. Jodha's pallu which had covered her choli had been removed long back; the warm breath was directly touching her skin... She shivered in a long-lost emotion... her heart moved in a strange feeling- was it passion of her womanhood only? Maybe, maybe not! At this state, the warm touch of her love after a long era brought a perfect blend of affection along with passion in her heart... it rejuvenated the mother inside her again. Perhaps all the women become mother sometimes...
"Ekaant!" [Leave!] She ordered before she could hold his head against her body even more tightly. She clenched his body from back, took him inside her arms, leaned his head on her collar bone rubbing her cheeks on his hairs. He opened his eyes; preventing the heavy eye-lids to close with hardship, he tried to say something... His lips quivered, no voice came out, a drop of water rolled down from those eyes...
She made him to lie down on her lap, started patting him with all her affection till he gets sleep. She was unable to bind the flood of tears from her eyes...
LOVE AND FORGIVENESS...
Nothing of this world can be more irritating than lying on the bed inactively due to physical sufferings, along with head-ache, fever and unwanted drowsiness. At least for an active and enthusiastic young man like Jalal lying bed-ridden is not less than a curse. The fever, the suffocation increasing time to time, the unbearable head-ache, vertigo, vomiting tendency and the overall weakness from morning- he is suffering very much, no doubt. But surprisingly, these long hours of sufferings are the best moments of Jalal's life till date... The most awaited peace has come back again in his life along with all type of pain he is enduring...
Jodha. His love Jodha... She has magic in her touch. When she touches, all types of pains, all types of sufferings get vanished. Who said that love hurts? Love heals... True love heals the burning heart of the lover with the soothing touch of tears, gives the immense peace for which people fight for whole life forgetting their actual entity! Love is magic... love is divine... love is everything... love is the main reason of the existence...
"Daaye taraf sar hilaiye." [Move your head to right.]Jodha commanded when he was lost in his newly discovered philosophies. He looked at her. "Daaye taraf hilane ke liye kaha hay! Mere muh me kya dekh rahe hay." [I told you to move at right. What are you seeing in mu face?] She rebuked most sweetly! He smiled in anticipation, and carried out her order. She slowly puffed the wet towel around his left shoulder with utter care so that it does not touch the wound. The touch of slightly hot water on neck refreshed him somehow. He picked his face higher and Jodha slowly skimmed the wet towel across his throat, his chest, his ribs... Taking his head over the big bowl, she poured water on his head. The flow of water crossed through his thick hairs, he felt the half of his suffering has reduced. His eyelids again dropped down due to comfort. She took another dry towel and covered him with that. With immense care she wiped out the places near his wound. Then his face, his chest, the place where the heart stays... his heart is beating faster from normal, there is an anxious mesmerization in his pale eyes today. A content touch of smile in lips has revived the glow of his face to some extent... that smile is so different, so new... as if it has heard the call of the new life...
"Abhi thora accha lag raha hay. Hain na?" [You're feeling better now. Isn't it?]Jodha asked after bathing him. She was applying ointments on the incisions made by the doctors. Jalal nodded silently. His eyes were fixed to the droplets of sweat on Jodha's forehead. She is serving him without any rest from morning. She has not left his side for a moment from then. She can feel what Jalal is feeling, she can understand what Jalal needs now, much before Jalal can tell anything about that. Releasing himself completely on her, he is relishing his rest and she is happily relishing his dependency and not leaving any smallest gap to ensure his comfort... She has not even tied her hairs today- forget the ornaments... Jalal never has seen this look of Jodha... and he believes now that this one is the purest look of her divinely beautiful wife.
"Ahh!" Jalal could not control his moan suddenly as Jodha had started removing the bandage from his wound to dress that. "Zor se laga? Khsama karna Shahenshah! Hum samjhe nehi the ki..." [It pained hard? Sorry! I didn't understand that...] it seemed Jodha felt the pain four times more than Jalal. "Nehi thik hay..." [No it's okay!] Jalal bit his lips to bear the pain and assured her. She with her soft and caring hand continued to apply the needed ointment, and Jalal continuously kept on feeling that someone is chopping his shoulder. In spite of all his trials he could not control his moans when Jodha was dressing the place with hot water an1d cotton.
"Dekhiye to kya haal bana diya hay us khuni ne aapka?" [Look what that murderer has made of you!] Jodha complained like a little girl in her wet voice. Then in an angry tone she spoke to her own. "Ekbar asli aparadi ki pata chal jaye, hum jaan se mar denge use!" [I will kill the real convict once he gets caught!]
Jalal could not hold his laughter after hearing this. "Hasiye matt!" [Don't laugh!] Jodha pouted angrily.
"Yeh naa-insafi hoga!Hum par ek bohot bara ehesaan kar gaya hay..." [It will be an injustice! He has done a great gratitude on me...] Jalal was still gasping while speaking. "Jisne bhi hume marne ki kosish ki..." [Whoever has attempted on my life...]
Jodha looked at his eyes for once, Jalal also looked at her eyes intensely. Then both of them took back their glares. Jodha became much busier in her work to hide the blushing, and Jalal started checking the quality of his own hair, as he had nothing in front of hand to show himself busy. No sooner than this, they both started giggling and simultaneously hiding their smiles from themselves...
The strangulated environment of the room got some oxygen today... after a whole long year...
"Jodha..." Someone knocked the closed door from outside. "Jee Maasa?" Jodha responded and opened the door after covering Jalal with a shawl.
"Oo..." Mainabati entered and saw the bed. "Jamaisaa kaise hay?" [How is my son-in-law?]
"Abhi behetar hay, Ranisahiba." [Now I am better your highness.] The son-in-law replied on behalf of her daughter gently. "Aap sab ko bohot taklif diya humne!"[I gave you lot of headache!]
"Aree yeh kya kahe rahe hay Shahenshah!"[What are you telling Your Majesty?] Mainabati was embarrassed hearing his modesty. "Kanha ka kripa hay ki aap thik ho gaye hay... Hum sab to darr hi gaye the!"[You have recovered only in the wish of God... We all were frightened!] She turned towards Jodha and whispered. "Tune to thik se kuch khayi bhi nehi. Hum yeaha tere khana bhej de?" [You have not eaten anything. Should I send your meal here?]
"Nehi Maasa... Yeaha nehi..." [Not here Mother...]She told. "Hum bahar jake baad me kha lenge Maasa..."[I will eat afterward...]
"Parantu tuje subhe se kuch nehi khayi..." [But you have not eaten anything from morning...]
"Aapne Prasad khilaya na?" [You fed me Presad...]
"O to ek chota sa laddu tha. Usse bhukh mitta hay kya?" [That one was a small laddu, too smaller for your hunger.]
"Hume bhukh nehi hay... Hum bacche hay kya ki aapko hume khilana parega?" [I am not hungry... Am I a child that you have to feed me?]
"Hum khana bhej dete hay. Kha le na."[I am sending meal. Eat that...] Maina Bati pleaded now.
"Maasa aap jao..." [You go now...]Jodha was about to push her mother out of the room, Jalal intervened.
"Rani Sahiba aap jaiye, Jodha aapke piche piche jayenge." [You may leave Rani Sahiba, Jodha will go behind you.]
"Zara bhej dijie to isse, meri koi bhi baat nehi matni." [Please send her. She does not listen to me at all.] She went off murmuring angrily.
"Maasa ko khana ke atirikt kuch soojhta hi nehi!"[My mother cannot think anything other than food!] Jodha angrily sat beside Jalal and carelessly started massaging his left palm. Jalal held her fingers to stop her and called out. "Jodha?"
"Aap subhe se bhookhi hay?" [You are starving from morning?]
"Nehi Shahenshah! Hume bhookh nehi hay. Maasa ko to humesha lagta hay ki hum bhookhi hay. Unki baat chodiye aap..." [No Shahenshah, I am not hungry... Mother thinks all time that I am hungry. Leave her...] She told without taking breath.
"Samjha!"[I understood!] Jalal smiled. "Aab jake kuch kha lijie. Jaiye..." [Now you have your food. Go...]
"Parantu Shahenshah..." [But your majesty...]
"Jodha..." he pressed her hand slowly. "Hum abhi thik hay. Aap jaiye..." [I am alright now. You go...]
"Haa parantu..." She was confused. "Agar aapko meri zarurat pari to?" [But if you need me?]
"To aapke intezar kar lenge."[Then I will wait for you.] He smiled. "Jaiye... Jaldi jaiye..." [You go fast...]
"Pakka na?" [Are you sure?] She touched his forehead to check the temperature which was normal. Siding the locks around the ear she got up. "Main yu gayi or yu aayi..." [I am coming just now...]
She was about to go, but Jalal held her hand. "Jodha..."
"Haa?" She looked back.
He was gazing at her, mesmerized like before, but his gaze had an unknown shade of dilemma this time. He signed her to sit down beside him and stared at her fingers, silently.
"Kuch kahena tha?" [You had something to tell me?]
"Haa... Bohot dino se..." [Yes. From a long time...] He suddenly stopped and sighed. Then after a little hesitation, he fixed his gaze on Jodha's eyes, uttered slowly- "Kya aapko pata hay ki hum aapse kitni mohabbat karte hay?" [Do you know that how much I do love you?] He told in a strange sentiment while his heart beat increased again. Jodha's glare lost for a moment in the flow of his words, but she readily gripped her emotions and smiled. "Yeh bhi koi batane wali baat hay Shahenshah? Hume pata nehi hoga to kise pata hoga?" [Is this something to tell your majesty? Who will know it better than me?] she told casually.
Jalal tried to smile, but the smile lost in the lines of emotions that had been crafted in his face. He gulped and widened his eyes to control the coming tear; in a husky, broken voice he started -"Pata hay Jodha, hume lagta tha... hume yaakin tha ki jitney mohabbat hum aapse karte hay, aaj tak utni mohabbat iss dunia me kisine kisise nehi ki hogi. Jalal ka mohabbat uske jaisa hi anukha hay, sabse bara hay, sabse sandar or sabse uncha hay! Yaakin nehi, ghamand tha hume aapni mohabbat karne ki takat pe... ghamand tha aapne dil ki takat pe... bohot zyada yaakin tha hume aapne aappe!" [You know Jodha, I used to think that... I was confident that the love that I do for you, none in this world can love anyone equal to that. Jalal's love is as unique as him, the greatest, the most shining, the highest! Not only confidence, I was proud on my strength of love... I was proud of the power of my heart... I was over-confident!]
Jodha kept on staring at him. He gripped her hand tightly and continued- "Par jab bari aya aapne mohabbat ki takat ko sabit karne ka, jab imtehaan ki waqt ayi, jab khudrat ne humse saaboot manga aapne mohabbat ka, hum..."[But when the time of proving the love came, when the test came, when nature claimed proof of my love, I...] he sighed hopelessly; "Hum har gaye Jodha! Uss imtehaan me khare hi nehi utar paye! Itna ghamand tha aapni mohabbat ki takat pe; waqt aya to pata chala ki usme koi takat hi nehi hay... Ek mamuli insaan ke mamuli pyar se bhi kam hay meri dil ki takat.Pata chala ki kinti kamzor hay hum, kitna kamzor hay humara mohabbat! Har gaye hum! Aapne aapse har gaye..." [I lost Jodha! I could not pass the test! I was so proud on my power of love; when real time came I understood that that has actually no strength... The power of my heart is even less than the common love of a very common man. I understood that how much weak am I, how much weak my love is! I lost! I lost from myself!]
Jodha touched his cheek, a drop of water fell on her palm. "Prem me koi kabhi harta nehi hay Shahenshah!" [Love cannot lose Your Majesty!] she murmured.
He looked at her for some time, and then took back his glare... "Nehi kar paye Jodha... Aapko diye hue waado ko pura nehi kar paye...Har gaye!" [I could not Jodha... I could not keep your promises... I lost!]
"Jivan bohot lambi hay Shahenshah. Agli bar zarur jitenge..." [Life is long Shahenshah. We will win next time.] She wiped the corner of her eyes. "Aap kabhi har hi nehi sakte..." [You can never lose...]
Jalal stared to her for a minute, and then suddenly broke down in tears on her palms. His body shivered in the jolt of tear, the palpitation started again... "Hum us raat aapko o sari baate aapne dil se nehi kaha tha.. Yaakin manie humara... Humare zehen me kuch or tha, zuban se kuch or nikal gaya...Hum soch kuch or rahe the, aag jal raha tha humare andar, or uss aag me hum... hum sachme aapko dosh dena nehi chahte the Jodha... Hum aapko kisi bhi hats eke liye zimmedar nehi mante hay! Hume maaf kar dijie Jodha... Maaf kar dijie hume!" [I had not told you all those from my heart Jodha, believe me... I will thinking something else and told something else... There was fire inside me and I... I really didn't want to blame you jodha... I never think you responsible for any accident! Forgive me Jodha... Forgive me!]
"Shahenshah... Shahenshah..." Jodha picked up his face. "Yeh sab baate bohot pahele khatam ho gaya hay. Hum us bare me nehi sochte... Aap bhi bhul jaiye." [These matters are over long ago. I don't think about those... You also forget.]
"Kaise bhul jaye!" [How will I forget?] He shouted in his weak voice. "Yeh ek galti ka ehsaas hume raat bhar sone nehi deta! Bure bure khwab aata hay... bar bar yaad dila deta hay uss dehsaat ki raat ko! Ek saal se... ek saal se hum aapne aapse bhagte fir rahe hay Jodha, khud se chupte fir rahe hay... Humne gunah kiya hay Jodha! "[That one mistake does not let me sleep nights after nights! Nightmares come... they make me remember that dangerous night! From one long year... from one long year I am fleeing from myself, hiding from myself... I am sinner Jodha!] His voice sank in dejection... "Maaf kar dijie hume Jodha. Nehi to hum iss gunah ki bojh uthate uthate mar jayenge." [Forgive me Jodha. Else I will die bearing the burden of guilt!]
Jodha was silent; perhaps was thinking about that devastating night with heavy heart... Jalal held her hand. "Jodha Begam?"
Jodha controlled her sob and said "Iss bare me or ekdin baat kiye hay hum. Kaha hay na humne aapse, ki hume koi sikayat nehi? Hum samajhte hay aapke us samay ki manasthiti ko..." [We have talked about it before. I told you that I have no allegation on you. I understand your state of mind of that time.]
"Or kuch nehi kahena hay Jodha aapko!"[you have nothing more to say Jodha?] Jalal looked restless. "Or kuch nehi?" [Nothing?]
Jodha was trying hard to control her tears, but at last she gave in. The tears rolled down from her cheeks, and she suddenly started sobbing hard. "Hume aapse koi bhi sikayat nehi hay shahenshah! Hum jante hay aapne jo bhi kaha andhi akrosh me akar kaha... Aapne antar ki aag ko bujhane ke liye kaha... Parantu Shahenshah!" [I have no grievance on you, Majesty! I know you told all those under blind rage... to extinguish the fire of your heart... But your majesty! ] Her voice sank in the flood of tears... "Uske baad... uske baad aap Jodha ko bhul gaye Shahenshah! Ek pal ke liye usse aapne paas nehi bulaya aapne! Ekbar dekhne bhi nehi aye ki o jivit hay ki mar gayi hay??" [After that... After that you forgot Jodha! You never called her closer for a moment! Never came to see that whether she is dead or alive?] Automatically her face clung on his chest with an agonized grievance. "Bohot nisthur hay aap Shahenshah! Bohot nithur hay aap!" [You are so cruel Majesty! So cruel!]
"Hum jana chahte the Jodha... Par humare pair hilte nehi the... " [I wanted hard to go... But my legs did not move...] He told as if he was talking with his own. "Dil chir jata tha aapko ekbar dekhne ke liye, aapko ekbar chhune ke liye... Par himmat hi nehi juta pate the... Na jane kitne hazar bar raat ki andhere me aapki mehel ke samne se gujre hay hum, par andar jane ki himmat nehi hua... Kya kahete, kaise kahete, kis muh se khara hote aapke samne... Jab aapko meri zarurat thi humne aapki mamta ki rusbahi karke aapko aapne zindegi se dur kar diya! Aab jab mujhe aapki zarurat hay kis muh se aapke samne jakar khara hote hum!" [Heart used to tear up for seeing you once, to touch you once... But could not gather courage... How many times I have passed through the corridor of your palace at midnight, but could not have the courage to enter... What to say, how to say, how to face you... When you needed me I distanced you from me insulting your motherhood! And when I needed you, how could I face you!] He grabbed his hairs in rage on himself. "Bhag te fir rahe the hum... ek bhagore ki tarha aapne zindegi se, sach se bhagte fir rahe the! Sab bhul jana chahte the siyasat me dub kar; sab dard mita dena chahte the sarab ki nashe se... Kayar hay hum!" [I was running away from myself... Like a coward- from my life, from everyone I was running away! I tried to forget everything sinking in the sea of politics; tried to wipe out the pain by the addiction of alcohol... I am coward!] He pronounced the adjective which he hates the most very prominently. "Kayar!" [Coward!]
Jodha rubbed her cheeks on his bare chest to wipe out the tears. Jalal slowly placed his right hand on her hairs; in a tearful voice asked, "Bohot dard diya hay humne aapko, hay na?" [I have given you immense pain, isn't it?]
Jodha nodded like a child. Jalal took a long breath, and whispered. "Hum or kabhi bhi aapko dard nehi denge Jodha... Kabhi bhi nehi..." [I will never give you pain Jodha... Never ever!]
"To fir jaldi se thik ho jaiye." She exclaimed sweetly. "Jo peera aapne kal hume di hay uski samne or sara dard mlan ho jata hay!" [The pain you gave me last night, every pain becomes pale in front of that!]
"Kaise kar pate hay humse itna pyar?"[How can you love me so much?] He smiled.
"Thik jaise aap karte ho!" [Just like you do!] She uttered, and closed her eyes with immense peace...
"Chahe jitney bhi mohabbat kar le aapse," [No matter how much I love you,] he told, "O mohabbat kabhi aapki mohabbat ko chu nehi payegi...Kaise kar li humse itni mohabbat? Hara diye hume Jodha Begam?" [That love cannot even touch your love for me... How did you love me so much? You defeated me in the game of love?] His voice chocked.
"Prem hay, koi pratiyogita thori na hay," [Is love a competition?] she laughed out. "Ki haar-jeet ki bazi chalta rahega?" [that there will be win and lose?] She came closer. "Hum to ek dusre ki paripurak hay Shahenshah, pratiyogi nehi! Humare prem bhi to ek dusre ko pura karte hay..." [We complement each other Shahenshah, we are not competitors...Our love too complements each other...]
A long interval in middle... Then Jodha picked up her face with a smile. "Aab to sach me bhookh lag rahi hay shahenshah! Aab hum jaye?" [Now I am really hungry? May I go?]
"Zarur!" [Yes!] Jalal readily freed her. She arranged her clothes, wiped out her eyes again and about to go out, Jalal spoke out... "Jodha..."
She looked back. Jalal looked at her firmly and said "Zubaan kat lena mera, agar kabhi bhi, aisi galat baat muh se nikla to!" [Cut off my tongue if I ever tell such an offended word!]
"Aapke zubaan kat liya to baato baato me humari tariff kon karega? Main ruth gayi to mujhe manayega kon? "[If I cut your tongue then who will appreciate me in each moment? Who will cool me down when I will get angry?] Jodha smiled broadly and that spread on Jalal's lips too. But he was not ready for the next phrase. "Tab humari maang pura karne ke liye Sarifuddin ko zinda humare pair ke samne kon pesh karega?" [Then who will present an alive Sarifuddin in front of my feet to keep my wish?]
There was a spontaneous spark in Jodha's eyes perhaps that lit the dull eyes of Jalal suddenly. The bright eyeballs, which had temporarily been dimmed, sparked again. Both of them kept on gazing at each other for a moment, both had the same smile at the corner of their lips that was telling the same words...
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