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Manan FF - Kaisi yeh Yaariyan season 3 Thread 1 - till chapter 63 (Page 9)

Aashna_chawla Goldie
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Joined: 22 June 2015
Posts: 1064

Posted: 04 May 2016 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rk21

Originally posted by Aashna_chawla

Originally posted by rk21

Originally posted by Aashna_chawla

Originally posted by rk21

Originally posted by Aashna_chawla

That was a nice update i wanna ask why don't you write in p.o.v. i mean i know its not necessary to write in p.o.v. but mostly writers writes like this only with an author it is more affective. And pm me give hyperlinks jese tumhare index me h because nh toh forums check karna pdhta h

Lets come to the update all over it was nice and this regular update is something i like and you described nandini's condition awesomely muje toh manik ke father me kuch gadbad lag rh h lets see what is stored for us, waiting for the update Smile


Thanks for your feedback Aashna. Love how u comment on every update. Keeps me motivated.
Interesting point about p. O. V. Pov is usex wen u r writing a script or screen play. Because u r visually describing how d scene will be shot. In a screenplay the focus is on d dialogues nd the visualisation.

What i m writing is a story.. A novel.. A book. Here the focus is as much on d dialogues as on d language. So the shifting of scenes and actors is very seamless. Ifvu use pov here its considered bad writing. This is more literary while a script is visual. Hope i could explain it to u

So from next time i will share the link of d index so its easier to access the chapters.

As for Manik's or Amms, right now they all seem black. Even Manik seems mean. But in life no man is white or black.. Circumstances make them act or react. I told u everyone has a back story and each one will b revealed in due tym. But for right now if i can make u distrust manik and gate his father n amms then i m successful as a writer for thats what i intended to do.

Yeah that dark, and gray characters ka i know even according to me there should be a reason behind every person's action so that's a good sign of mature writer or about p.o.v. yeah that script wala sahi b bilkul but what i m saying its narating a story as character actually i asked a lot of questions regarding story and writing mene itne novels pdhe h now a days I'm reading 50 sheds of gray or jitna bhi story or novels mene pdhe h 90% was narrated by a person or a characters iska ye matlab hota h ke us person ke najriye se ap us story ko dekhtey ho so novels me bhi p.o.v. writing hi mostly hoti h though i agree with you in this screenplay wali thing yeah in screenplay or dialogue and when youre writing a script or something toh p.o.v. me writing important and but a script is story without much dialogues so it should be in p.o.v. but novels me p.o.v. writing alg hota h they narrate the story as a narrator or author or also as a character and i just felt liked asking but there is nothing wrong in narrating a story as a third person perspective i just said why don't you try it well you seems so mature when it comes to writing would love to have such a conversation with you you could teach me a lot of things and we both can discuss a lot of things with each other would love to have you as a friend as well Smile Smile


u r right Aashna, most of the books are written from the point of view of the protagonist. Its called first person narration. in fact in my all other short or long stories i use 1st person narrative because its easier to write and much less formal.
Third person narrative is when you r writing as a story teller and not as a character. Though it is difficult to write in third person, i chose it for this story because of the number of characters.

I will give you an example. When I am writing as Manik, I can only write about what he is feeling and ablout his interactions with someone. If there are parallel tracks, and something is happening which Manik doesnt know, he cant obviously write about it.

What people do in scripts is they write in third person narrative but use P.O.V to conveniently write about each persons inner thoughts. That cannot be done in literature.
Having said, there must be writers who can write in layers and from different perspectives (like in 50 shades of grey, once as Anna and once as christian). One day when I achieve such a level of expertise i would surely attempt it. But thanks a lot for you inputs. With each comment I will learn something new and something more. Thats how we all grow :) I will be glad to be your friend

Love
RK21


Yeah writing in first person pov is difficult damn difficult actually i want to learn that like how they this writing is such a vast ocean jitna sikho km h yha even i write in p.o.v. but i my both characters narrate there side of stories though its a wrong process but here on india forums everyone wants to read manik's p.o.v. as well so i m bound to do that and i was thinking to promote your story on my thread one night stand with a stranger its my ss there hope you won't mind actually forums is silent now a days mostly purane writers chod ke chle gye so you will get more readers through this but still your permission is much needed Smile


Absolutely go ahead and share it on your wall. SmileSmileSmilei will try to put in povs as you said but will hv to see how to cleverly include it without violating writing rules

Nh aisa mt karna i just wanted to know your thoughts regarding this thing abhi tum sb choose krogi like narrating it as a third person than adding pov it will ruin the whole flaw and essence of the story aisa mat karna LOL or sure umm update ke time par link de dungi tumhari fiction ki Smile

1_drop_of_rain Senior Member
1_drop_of_rain
1_drop_of_rain

Joined: 23 September 2012
Posts: 519

Posted: 05 May 2016 at 8:51pm | IP Logged
whats up lovely folks...? It has been two silent days and I have been pretty much drowned in work. Haven't had a chance to write or update. But I have been missing my stars and fireflies a lot. So thought of atleast putting up a very beautiful picture of theirs. 
So till I come up with the next update, you gotta make do with these adorable two. Happy reading guys.. OuchCryDay Dreaming




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fial24

1_drop_of_rain Senior Member
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Posted: 09 May 2016 at 9:01pm | IP Logged

Chapter 18

Tuesday, May 8, 2016

 

 

Nandini was feeling much better by the next morning. Neel and Navya took her home.

Her eyes were sore from the crying and her heart heavy with Manik's thoughts. She had to finally confess her sudden break down and hospitalization. Everyone at home was worried, they surrounded her. Rishab hugged her tightly.

 

"I want to rest." Nandini wanted to be alone.

 

Chachi: "Haan haaan nandu, tu upar jake rest kar. Main tere liye khana aur haldi wala dudh lati hun."

 

Navya: "Chachi, main Nandini ko lekar jati hun upar."

 

Navya held Nandini as she climbed the stairs to her room. She helped Nandini take a shower and change  into her night dress. It was bright outside so she drew the curtains.

 

Navya: "Pata hai Nandu, meri maa bolti hai haldi wala dudh peene se na banda ek minute mein think ho jata hai and larkiyon ke liye to yeh especially acha hai, pata hai rang kitna nikhar jata hai."

 

Despite her weakness Nandini smiled. She leaned forward to hug Navya. "Itna maska marne ki zarurat nahi hai Navya, main pee lungi. Waise you know I am lucky, very very lucky that I have a friend like you. You have always been with me, bhale hi kitna hi bura waqt ho."

 

Navya: "Nandu, pata nahi kyun par mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki tum mujhse kuch share karna chahti ho"

 

Nandini was taken aback.  So Navya had gotten a sniff of her inner storm. You can't hide much from your best friend, they can read you like a book.

However, she assured Navya that she wasn't hiding anything from her.

 

After Navya had fed her some hot food and tricked her into drinking the haldi wala milk, Nandini literally forced her to go home and take rest. The bestfriends together had had a sleepless night.

 

*******************************************************

 

Their friendship goes back a long way to the time when they both stepped into the SPACE academy. In an urban crowd of rich and spoilt teenagers, they both came from small towns and carried a naivety that was rare in their peers. Together they had witnessed and withstood so much. From the intense ragging of FAB5, to falling in love and suffering heartbreak, from jamming together in their initial days at SPACE to their current jobs and everything in between, they had always watched each other's back.

There were no secrets between them, that is until now. Nandini did feel guilty for lying to Navya, for keeping such a big secret from her but sometimes life puts us at a crossroad and we have choose one way. It may be unfair to others, but we still have to live by our choice.

 

There will be a time, Nandini was sure, when she would be in a position to confide in her best friend but till that time, it would be solely her mission...mission Manik Malhotra. She had to uncover his truth..

 

A buzz oh her cell phone shook her out of the reverie.

 

"How are u Miss Tipsy?" Her face lit up, even though for a split second.

 

"just reached home. Thanks for yesterday MnM." She replied

 

Manik: "Of great. But Whats MnM???"

 

Nandini : "U don't know MnM??? Bachpan mein james nahi khai kya, colourful..chocolaty"

 

Manik: "Oh you mean MnM candies? But iska mujhse kya connection?"

 

Nandini: "The cake u got me yesterday was topped with the candies. Bet u didn't notice, did u?" That was utter bullshit. But she couldn't tell him that MnM meant Monster Manik, could she?

 

Manik: "It's a stupid name Nandini Murthy but I don't argue with sick kids. Get well soon and we can discuss this later. And don't forget, U owe me a treat.

 

"I won't, Nandini promise."

 

She  kept staring at the screen but there was no further response. Manik still cut conversations abruptly. Some habits die old.

 

If the same thing had happened three years ago, Manik wouldn't have been texting her. He would have been right by her side, in her room, holding her tightly in his arms and repeatedly cursing himself for her breakdown. He would have fed her, and kissed her on the forehead and run his fingers through her long strands to put her to sleep. He would have sung to her in his magical voice and then after she fell asleep,  he would have spend the entire night sitting outside her door, in case she woke up and needed him.

 

Nandini forced her eyes shut. She didn't have the strength to cry anymore.

 

 

 



Edited by rk21 - 10 May 2016 at 5:35am

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jamunamanik Goldie
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Posted: 10 May 2016 at 6:30am | IP Logged
Awsmmm


Niceee


Superrr


Thanks for the pm

Coun   sooon

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1_drop_of_rain

Aashna_chawla Goldie
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Posted: 10 May 2016 at 8:39am | IP Logged
Nice update thoda chotu tha anyways i like the convo between navya and nandini you handled navya's character wisely and than that friendship part was nicely written and lets come to the MnM convo monster manik lol some habits die old true even i have such a habbits i like this quote ka idea which you left through the update all over nice one. Length thoda bada hona chiye bhot chota h
Any ways waiting for next update

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1_drop_of_rain

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Posted: 10 May 2016 at 10:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Aashna_chawla

Nice update thoda chotu tha anyways i like the convo between navya and nandini you handled navya's character wisely and than that friendship part was nicely written and lets come to the MnM convo monster manik lol some habits die old true even i have such a habbits i like this quote ka idea which you left through the update all over nice one. Length thoda bada hona chiye bhot chota h
Any ways waiting for next update

I know yaar chotu sa tha but Bilkul tym nahi mila buddy..  Will try to update quickly ok? 
rockstarlover IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 10 May 2016 at 11:20am | IP Logged
awesome update
1_drop_of_rain Senior Member
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Posted: 10 May 2016 at 8:15pm | IP Logged

Chapter 19


A couple of days after Nandini was discharged, Neel rang up Manik.

 

Neel: "Hey Manik, wassup man?"

 

Manik: "Nothing much yaar. Was just lazing around at home, watching the Mumbai Indians versus Pune warriors match."

 

Neel: "Yeah man, that was some match. Waise if you are not doing something in the evening we could meet. And then we owe you a treat."

 

Manik: "Oh please Neel, we are too old for these formalities. Forget the treat thing and let's just meet ok."

 

Neel: "So there's this new nightclub in Bandra, 'Soho'. I have heard some great reviews about this place. Up for it ?"

 

Manik: " Sounds good... Btw Nandini is coming right?"

 

Neel: "I have to check with her, you know girls... they are specially trained at throwing tantrums."

 

Manik: "Wait, let me speak to her and I am damn sure she won't turn me down. Let's meet at 7 then @ Soho."

 

 

Location: 'Soho', Bandra: 7.30pm

 

True to her character, Nandini arrived at 7.00 pm on dot. The sight that welcomed her as she walked through the door surprised her. It was too dark inside, except for the psychedelic neon lights that changed colours in rhythm to the music and it was not just dark but smoky too. Loud punk rock was playing at deafening levels and the thumping beats felt scary to her tender ears. Some people were swaying to the music and others crowded the bar. She squinted hard in the darkness to find Manik and Neel but couldn't locate either. The ambience was making her claustrophobic. Y did Manik invite her to such a place when he knew she wouldn't be comfortable here.

No point blaming him, she immediately realized. He had lost his memory and with it the sense of her likes and dislikes. She stepped out of the nightclub and waited for either of them to turn up but, when even after 30 minutes there was no sign of them, she called Manik.

 

"Hey Nandini, I am just looking for a parking spot. I'll call you in a minute."

 

He didn't have to call her though. As soon he got out of his car, he saw her standing alone outside. He waved at her but she didn't notice, she appeared to be lost in thoughts. He tiptoed close to her and tapped on her shoulder. Surprised, Nandini turned around.

 

"Why are u standing here? Where is Neel?" He asked.



 

Nandini: "I came on my own. Been waiting here since 7." 

She looked a little distracted. Manik pulled her by her hand "Lets go inside."

They sat facing each other on a corner seat. Manik couldn't help noticing how beautiful she looked in her simple white kurti.

 

"So you were waiting outside for 30 mins?" The music was so loud that he had to literally shout even though she was sitting right opposite to him.

 

"Didn't you say u wud be here at 7?" she counter questioned. She was visibly flustered.

 

"How stupid can you be miss Nandini Murthy? Who comes to a 7 pm party at 7 pm?"

 

 "I do" she said and looked away.

 

Right then Neel walked in and settled next to Nandini.

He greeted Manik and put her hand over Nandini's shoulder.

 

Nandini gave Neel a cold stare and gently pushed his hand away. From the corner of his eyes, Manik noticed the tension between them.

 

"What sort of a guy are u Neel, u couldn't pick up your fiancee, she was standing outside alone for half an hour." Manik spoke with a smirk but Nandini could make out that his irritation was genuine.

 

Neel was equally sarcastic. He kept looking at Nandini while addressing Manik "You are right Manik. Main to vella hi hun. Isiliye to meri fiancee mere sath nikalne se mana kar deti hai par tum ekbar phone karte ho n she agrees to come down."..."Hai na nandini?"

 

Nandini remains silent while Manik didn't know if it was appropriate for him to say anything.

 

Neel continued "But Nandini seriously who wears a kurti to a night club?? When will u have some dressing sense, u r my fiancee now, you will accompany me to parties and if this is how u dress..."

 

Nandini was looking down. Her eyes had welled up.

Manik wanted to get up and hit the guy in his face. He was having a hard time understanding how could he humiliate his own girlfriend and that too someone as innocent as Nandini. But he didn't want to create a scene, especially as he was new to both of them. So instead he decided to divert the situation. He stood up and asked Nandini for a dance. When Nandini accepted his request and started walking to the dance floor, he gave Neel one of his killer smiles. 

And then like a chivalrous man, he asked the DJ to play a romantic track in honour of the pretty lady.

 

The DJ played a magically beautiful song.

 

Song link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5azvXFn-lJ0

 

Link to the dance video:

http://linkis.com/ytcropper.com/croppe/BavK9 

(lemme know if you can view this.. DON'T MISS THIS.. And Ur reactions please!!!!)

 

When they started moving under the blue lights, her fingers intertwined in his, his hand wrapped around her waist, the world started to fade out.. They had eyes only for each other as if nothing or no one else mattered. Every time their hands brushed past each other, they both felt an electric spark. And not just their feet, even their hearts tapped along the beats. 

For those few minutes, time stood still. Nandini's accumulated anger of three years & her humiliation from moments ago simply melted away.

Manik forgot the very reason he asked Nandini to dance for, he was so lost in the moment. He felt a certain dj vu, like he had always known her, like they had been here before. It made no sense to him, yet it felt so so right.

Other people on the dance floor stopped dancing to look at this electrifying couple.. A drop dead gorgeous guy creating magic with a girl as cute as a doll..

 

 





Edited by rk21 - 11 May 2016 at 10:38am

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